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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
November 12, 2017
After a hilarious sleepover, a visit to a zoo rainforest exhibit, and Norman’s attempts to teach Fluffy karate, the three plants team up to foil some bad guys.

A commission animation “icon” for goldquiver, showing a bat creature which transforms into a plant creature, and then back again, and then unback again, and on like that for a very long time. Feel free to wait.
I have proved with my comic pages that I can spend a week and show very little. With this I dedicated to show even less happening!

They ALWAYS smile at the end. They NEVER think whatever painful thing they just experienced will EVER happen again, no matter HOW many times it repeats. Fools!



November 5, 2017
Problem Inspection Report on Pocket Monster Animated Series

This website has not been very fun lately! It takes too long to write fun things, and then miserable bits always creep into them. And I have made no further progress on the automated “store,” and wonder if I will. I have difficulty focusing on things for which I cannot constantly have results to look at. It does not feel like my “destiny.” When people try to get me to write “a children’s book,” that does not feel right, either.

Apparently amateurish looping animations of other peoples’ characters is my “destiny.” Or maybe that is a non-destiny less apart from what is, and easier to justify and manage the short term effort in.


for scraner, this happy, dorkular figure, with an ear that I was told looks like a feather but is not a feather. It has difficulty fitting in due to its unusual appearance and acts out in a sometimes inappropriate manner in an attempt to get attention. Unlike other recent “icon” commissions, this was drawn in Flash SWF format, and it certainly looks like it was.

Yet I have to display it as a gif with three times the file size and reduced color fidelity since modern browsers are increasingly hostile toward efficient vector-based drawings — in fact SWF means “small web format” — blocking them by default and requiring manual, two-step permission to show one, from viewers who might assume anything blocked by default with no explanation is inherently dangerous. Mobile systems never even bothered to implement support for swf. It is 1996 technology, after all. So instead we use gifs, which are from 1987. Where were these pocket overprotectors back in 2004 when every corporate website was using SWF to play obnoxious laggy noisy pop-up videos without permission? Now that big money scumbags are done with them, NOW we get to acknowledge that creeps can embed viruses in them.



Now that I am the last creep using them. Now that I have a computer powerful enough to actually have a animated flash swf open on a page without everything else getting screwed up. Now that I have stopped posting links to my website on forums full of people I would actually want to inflict viruses on were I competent to insert one.


We can all agree that punches to bow tie meeps would be highly inadvisable to block, in any decade.



October 29, 2017
If your use of Graphic Workshop is predicated upon its being able to read your ART files, we strongly urge you to run Graphic Workshop and the ART plugin against your ART files to make sure that everyone involved is talking about the same ART.

Following from that old thing, here is the sort of material people have been asking me for lately. You may be better off not reading the text!



mitz opportunity
Somewhere in 2015 I had to make a 80×80 pixel icon to accompany my comic strip’s link on some outdated web-comic list that nobody has looked at in years. To justify the icon’s existence and permit it to be used on almost any other website, I subsequently increased the icon to 100×100 pixels. Later I added a useless animation to it for approximately no reason. And later I made the ears wiggle in an insufferable manner. Who does that mitz think it is?
I drew the initial 6 frames in paint shop pro version 6 circa 1999, as separate images. It worked for this but felt inefficient.



boxed bot
Unfortunately it inspired wimpod, whose creature also turned into one of these.
I tried to make edits in photoshop after I had already assembled it, and that is a terrible program to edit gifs in because there is no way to look at the next frame and also activate the next frame for editing without moving the mouse and clicking on two different things every time. Rubbish!
I hear that the newest photoshop has a less stupid animation mode. However, it is also subscription only, which means you pay for it until you die and never really own your copy of the software, and adope can arbitrarily cut you off from it whenever and for whatever reason it feels like. It probably won’t but it could.


aki-breaky bug
some months later this came along, for AtlasImperial of another suspicious character, a moth-oid named Aki. This required independent moving parts so I tried using my recently installed Clip Studio, which has a powerful animation mode. Unfortunately, it has absolutely no animation specific keyboard shortcuts and will only paste as new layers, but cannot merge layers at ALL in animation mode because [no reason], and it is very stupid and inconvenient for maintaining crucial consistency; for example, though the feet move, there will often be a foot part that is supposed to be the same between multiple frames, but if I change it in one place, I cannot copy the changed part and update other frames with it, which means I must meticulously redraw the edit several times, which requires manually mouse clicking the previous frame to check and then manually mouse clicking back to where I was and then moving the cursor to the part I was drawing at since there is no single button command for switching the active frame. Also! Clip Stupido cannot save transparent gifs, even though it handles transparency and in fact refuses to NOT erase into transparent on single layer images that are supposed to have a solid background color. I assure you what I just said makes makes sense and is very annoying. I had to implement the transparency in photoshop, to all 48 frames, which was a total nightmare. And then I had to do that a few more times when I changed something else. There are 48 frames even though the most complex part, the moving foot, only has 8 frames, since other things move out of synch with it. 48 was the lowest number at which it matched up with the other movements.


I’ve Fallen and Icon Get Up
Nonethless I did these, for Trevor-Fox and also Tachisalopex. They are plainly quite busy so I will try not to say too much.


pip my ride

for Pippy Batstocking. I got the impression that this is just as much attention to the feet as was called for. I thought: I have this clip stupido figured out, I will do the next thing people ask for in that also. I made sure all the moving parts linked up. It was not as bad but it was still a bad idea!


infern vermin
For roshiyu: a rat wizard person plays around with a little blue fireball FOREVER.
As soon as I learned the details of the task I realized I needed better software to be able to pull it off, and found aseprite shortly thereafter. I gave up on making this work as transparent. Aseprite handles it better, but eh website, furra finity, cuts of user avatars at the intuitive size of 55 kilobytes, and this would blatantly go over, since gifs are stupid. Thankfully I discovered that I like colors better anyway.


murid murderer

For mightyrat, also in aseprite. Showing a friendly creature named Twitch the Plague Rat, jumping and then toe-exhibiting, all while clutching a mysterious, presumably lethal beverage in such a way that suggests it may be tossed at somebody whose company is not desirable.

the fox in our stars

A fox person with magical powers meditates in a space-sort of location.
I have a lot to say about this one, and so I shan’t.

microsurgeon
For plaguerattus, a rat person that is rat-sized despite wearing clothing and having human characteristics, and consequently uses a ex-acto knife as a weapon, and also lives a life of such peril as to require a weapon, which apparently sees a great deal of usage. Or maybe this is from back when I had one and stored it in my bag without putting a cap on it, because I think they just didn’t MAKE caps for the things then, and I reached into the bag expecting to grab something else, and for months afterward had intense anxiety about reaching into ANY bag for ANY reason, even after an airline worker ordered me to dispose of it. Don’t tell anybody that my authentic staff-spinning reference material was Cheetara from Thundercats.


the good, the bad, and the bowtie
A rather large pixel animation commission for Lizzy MajP Ampharos. A stupid yellow lizard thing which I must confess looked mildly less punchable than this before I got a hold of it. That thing is FAR prouder of itself than it has any right to be, even without the bowtie. And there could easily BE no bowtie since I forgot to draw it tied in place. Yet it lingers.
Why larger, I do not know. I was able to keep this under control a bit better than the non-animated large pixel drawings, but those were still twice the size of this one. I was not asked to include a background, and I should not have included one that inadvertently mimicked the shape and color of the ears. There are enough inexcusable ears on this page without me implying more of them.


rodentia brush yer hair?

for Akvo, in which a rat person endures a hairrowing ordeal. People do love their rat folk. I do not know why people want ME to draw their rat folk, but I like those better than bears or otters.
This suddenly looks under-animated to me; the pieces do not have an extra settling frame after the abrupt turns, but the amount of things TO animate here is higher than usual, and I tend to give more than I need to, so I must have felt haggard up if I did not.
The fur trim on the jacket and the pink hair especially were difficult to get looking right, and I had to paste them into Clip Stupido to work on, and then paste back into aseprite. Clippo’s animation mode is terrible but its drawing mode is great. Aseprite’s animation mode is great and its drawing is terrible. It does not use pressure sensitivity in tablet pens and is inexplicably slow and lagful even though I tend to work on pictures that are lower in color depth and one-fiftieth the resolution that I work on in other software. Is there a program that accommodates bitmap drawing AND animation well? Probably, and it most of a certainly does something else more important disgracefully for no reason, like it will have passwords instead of saving, or you can only use shades of beige or you have to guess a magical gnome’s name in order to access the full version.


deflotter

For Jazz Otter, of a rather exhausted air-filled creature. I doubt I could sleep so peacefully knowing that there were scissors in the world.
Twitter seemed to like this, which makes sense: nothing is happening, I did not draw it especially well nor especially enjoy doing do. I did like making the movements, though there were not many, and in fact I had to un-do some of the excessive movements that I added. But it is all good for something: several relatively influential people that I think are complete garbage but who my situation render inescapable, who would never ever directly acknowledge me in a coherent medium where they could tell that it was me who had made these things, have “like”d or retwutted some of them, so even though I still feel like a drimpy sub-human pudding being that will never reach a substantial audience with the work that is meaningful to me, I can at least feel like I “beat” some irritating forklogans in an incredibly petty and stupid way that is exactly what we both deserve.

Second-Hand Dork
And finally this one last week-ish, for kingodin, of Jordan Deere, a one-eyed creature with the unfortunate addictive habit of brandishing bow ties. I get the impression Kingodin has seen some of my other icon animations.
I think it has more and better movement than most of the others, though it has no shading. Truthfully, getting the lines solid and smoothed out is most of the work. However, most of the recognition, apparently, is in the shading (as well as most of what I charge, like an idiot, like a usual). Or perhaps people object to cigar-smoking. Or perhaps they object to inaccurately-drawn cigar-smoking: I realized after I made this that real cigar smoke goes everywhere and takes its time leaving, quite the opposite. People should be GLAD I sent it off so fast. Although smoke can look elegant. Perhaps people wish the rest of it looked as elegant as the smoke!

So what have I learned through all this? That I can always learn nothing in a new way. My shoe is off, my foot is cold, I have a bird I like to hold. My hat is old, my teeth are gold, and now my story is all told.



April 3, 2017
Tin Woodman was a hardened criminal so heartless he was sentenced to be placed in a tin suit for eternity. The torture of being encased in the suit had softened him and made him gentle and kind.


Sure to be the most important 80 seconds of your life.
The proper flash vector version can be seen right over here, unless you are using a telephone, since telephones do not like it, and for good reason, I say.
The previous part can be seen at there and the flash version is probably there but I am not going to check on that!
Without meaning to I hoped this would be the release that convinced people I was not just a bum pretending to have some useful skill, which would at last permit me to breakthrough to the next level of unobscurity. It is rough in some parts, due to being made in a strange way in a strange program, also I repeatedly forgot to go back and draw Greegorp’s legs properly in the part where they are visible and strange even though that very part is plainly visible in a previous recent post here, but I think the good parts in it are the proof I sought. In the end it convinced as many people as the snake cartoon, which is to say, nobody who was not already on board, but I think my technique has improved overall, and whatever the case it is was necessary for my psychological state to move forward on this. As always, I need to know I made it more than anybody else needs to see it!



February 20, 2017
I go and stay a while and all the folks I meet they say you won’t stay long you got them travelin’ feet



A totally contextless and silent piece of something I have been working on. Initially I instituted bizarre movements in the overall production to distract from my unwillingness and inability to animate mouths. But recently it came to pass that I started animating the mouths anyway, which seems like it will render the completed product more presentable to others, but without making it unsightly to me, because ultimately I want people apart from myself to like this stuff that I spend years on, right? Yes, I do, and mouths are golly geeby gupty important to them. I am not very GOOD at it, but the mouth-work on Garfield and Friends was even worse and that stayed on the air for eight years. This only needs to be tolerable for eighty seconds. However, I will miss the order and balance that an absence of mouth movements brings about, especially since the way I do it, I need to redraw the whole head for each frame, rather than reusing the same one, so I use that as justification for showing this right here now. Also, I have no time to write anymore! I tried and it was bad, and sad. I cannot write non-sad things while I am worried, and I am worried about all the non-writing I need to finish. I am also worried about not having a website post ready. I would need to write it while I was not in need of one, which I can only do when I am not worried about unfinished beet matters. I am actually not worried about beets, but rather the things that I have not started doing because I have not been sufficiently worried about beets to complete their projects. However, I would BECOME worried about beets if I imagined I no longer cared about finishing them.



February 6, 2017
I sent the kids to rap on the street for some cash


Something nobody asked for with no practical purpose. Which goes without saying around here but I need to say something so that the window does not shrink down to the width of the image because I edited this website template very poorly.
And you might wonder: why did [I] make this? And I appreciate if you gave it that much thought!



November 6, 2016
Thou bulk of spirit void! I once again, blind and in chains, provoke thee to the fight!


A new music “video” that is perhaps best off only listened to!
The music was started in 2011, and “finished” the past two weeks.
Initially I intended to use just one picture, but it did not match the horizontal frame orientation, so I needed it to scroll. But that created the impression this was a “video” and not just music, so I added a few more drawings. They seemed to linger on the screen for too long, so I extended the theme to every picture I had of a dangerous or scary vegetable. Later it became any picture of a vegetable. I have observed that the increased amount of motion has reduced the acceptable length of time that anything can NOT move before I feel uncomfortable looking at it.

And so, the NEXT time I upload music, it will just be one picture, alright? Great.



September 30, 2016
Italy may have the best pasta in the world, but it’s also home to the world’s most active volcano



Ah ha and this here is the original vector source of the tou yube video. I did not bother to make a fancy “loading” graphic since the knowledge of how to make them only temporarily took residence in my mind twelve years ago but I assure you it has the capacity for movement after a wait that on most modern internet connections will not be as insufferable as it would have been twelve years ago. And otherwise you can “save as” it and suit yourself that way.

It is not nearly as strange as it ought to be for something that barely makes sense, but it is fun to look at, and not very long. Rewriting it to make sense was not an option since I do not know how to make sense without copious dialog, it seems. I personally think it makes more sense than the film Eraserhead and is over a heap of a lot faster, and people love that miserable thing, so mine is valid to a degree.

Also, while reassembling the sound outside the animation Flash software, since flash’s export functions are inadequate for anything practical and always require post-production, I saw to it that the volume level did not enter the red zone at any point. However, I did not check the volume relative to any other noise-making process inside my computer machine and consequently it seems rather loud. So please be aware of that.

“Snakes” since several years ago I wanted to make a demonstration animation in a hurry, and I figured finishing something that was fairly easy in 2012 would be yet easier than that in 2016, and would not delay other matters much, and therefore was eminently worth doing. Despite being completely wrong, I made similar equally wrong estimations on several other projects that I let distract me from THIS one between January and this present point, not all of which reached displayable levels of functionality. And now that I am here, with one more that IS, it does not feel as nice as I thought it would, but it is better than I felt yesterday.

It is fun to look at.

Not for ME, now that I am unable to make alterations, and thus more able than ever to detect errors that require correction, but theoretically other humans might find value in it. Goop night and good muck.



June 10, 2016
I’d like to be entrancing, alluring, ravishing, like a stocking advertisement



How about this: I will treat this video like it is not incomplete and broken and that the story of its creation is straightforward and pleasant, and not let fully compiling my complaints about it delay and further complicate the matter. I am tired of dopes trying to control my life.



June 3, 2016
The calculations also show the frightening power of, for example, a small muffin over an hour of exercise:


one more inexplicable looped animated lizard wearing a furry coat despite a lack of other clothing or presumed endothermia. These require some effort but not much thought! At least out of context. But they fill space well when I am too busy to put forth effort and thought at the same time.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: November 18, 2017
The Universe sez:
I suspect this is a cautionary tale.
November 17, 2017
Frimpinheap sez:
I recognized the disney allusion! You may worry too much about my arbitrary scorn; I am not...
November 17, 2017
Shamed Commenter sez:
Yes, I know. I’m just envisioning a fantasy world in which you have millions of...
November 17, 2017
well-intended nitwit sez:
I apologize. I was worried the username wouod be misinterpreted (after I posted, no...
November 17, 2017
Shamed Commenter sez:
Sorry, I just meant to say that I like this.
November 17, 2017
well-intended nitwit sez:
Hey, you should work at DisKnee!
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