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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
June 26, 2018
Though his burial was slated, Meow, meow, meow, He became reanimated, Meow, meow, meow,

a video compilation of animated icons, mostly (but not entirely) commissions, that I spent entirely too much time on irrelevant aspects of. The music is an acquired taste that you will probably want to misplace.
I had to stop doing commissions entirely because THIS really is what I have to show for it! As I have become more obsessive compulsive I have run out of time to do anything else. The only real animation I have done in a year is that irrelevant bit at the end.



June 6, 2018
After using a sledgehammer to break through a cinderblock wall at a Kids R Us store on Long Island early Wednesday, burglars made off with $10,000 in cash and $89,000 in gift certificates called “Geoffrey Dollars.”




Two more 100×100 pixel animated icons, for Malkaiwot, showing Mallorie Koopa, who seems to be adept, possibly overconfident with unusually-sized carpentry tools. And also Goshi, who is purple. The official version that I post on other websites will have horizontal non-dithered background lines because they were requested when I showed this alternative but I am keeping the alternative for here in honor of I think I use those horizontal lines too often and also I uploaded it here before I asked Malkaiwot’s opinion on it. I tried vertical straight lines and they look awful.

These will be last such icons for a while, I think. The one on the right (or the one underneath depending on your view resolution) works better, even though i spent much less time on it. It works better probably BECAUSE I spent less time on it. I wish could say it was because I knew spending less time on these things was the secret to doing better with them but I am simply tired from not doing better!
Gosh there are five colors on the red side and only four on the blue side! Ordinarily such asymmetrical oversight would be unforgivable!
Elaborating on my reason for not accepting more general offers is not effective in my current state, so it might be better to wait until I am no longer thinking about it to think about it. I spend too long articulating depressing things about how I spent too long making dysfunctional things.

For the time being, it is better to get nowhere making a few big projects for myself than a load of small ones for other people that will not make a great difference in their lives.



May 30, 2018
They suggest putting cat food inside used toilet rolls glued together in the shape of a pyramid.


an animated introduction sequence for www.twitter.com/alonzorion that hopefully is self-explanatory! It revealed to me that there are limits to what is reasonable to attempt to draw in the manner that I have been doing this, but it looks nice, I think, I believe. That was over a month ago! But it was not in fact done. I have to cancel doing these for a while. To give you a sense of why:

This is the next oldest version. There was three hours of fiddling between this and the one above. Can you see three hours of effort? No, nobody realizes how hard it is to make these so I cannot actually charge for the time they require. And if I did I would need to spend even longer on them to justify it to myself!
And… now that I see it here, I want to adjust the letters again to make the movement less jerky every tenth frame. But I won’t because they have been like that since I made them and was not asked to change their motion, though every requested change was related to them. I would estimate about 80% of the time spent on this was with the dumb letters. I did not charge for anything to do with the letters. because when this started, I didn’t know how I was going to handle the letters, declared it “experimental” and charged nothing for it. Likewise with the exit. Mr. Zorion had proposed just having the video fade out after the wave!
This isn’t even the worst example, but I mention it here because I like how this one turned out, overall. I have to expel the negativity in a positive context or else I risk transforming into a batman villain. And not a good one, one those thugs that appears without introduction on the first few pages for Batman to beat without any trouble just to establish how tough he is so it is more meaningful when he has difficulty fighting someone really scary like a guy who wears pajamas and tells riddles.

well since you mentioned it I went back and screwed with the letters some more anyway! They still look terrible but slightly less so than the last time I saw them. And now I am going to go and work on something for which I don’t have to worry about screwed up letters!



May 19, 2018
A yellow arrow means that the protection of a green arrow is ending


bow and arrogance
A rather large (230×230) pixel commission for Egger Righteous of a creature who believes that archery is not challenging enough.
(I also forgot to draw anything holding the quiver in place, don’t tell)

The last time I posted an unusual animated gif I made for somebody other than me, I mentioned that I appreciated the variety, ended up going on about how if I post too many drawings that are similar, people who are sexually aroused by it assume I also am and talk to me in an unpleasant manner and possibly send me pictures of themselves unprompted. I want to avoid doing that again because shortly afterward that specific person sent me MORE creepy pictures of himself or or somebody unprompted, and if I keep going I will actually show one and I don’t want to do that. It isn’t explicit but it is ugly and I do not want it on my page.


in fact I did not even want that person’s icon in my telegram lump so I added a bunch of fake drafts to other people I was NOT sending messages to just to scroll it out of view. I of course cannot remove the person completely since telegram deletes your message history if you remove contacts and I need evidence of the full story in case I am murdered and do not want to actually LOOK at that evidence for the purposes of making copies at this time.



March 20, 2018
hey mr. pinstripe suit, hey mr. heidi heidi ho

I have many stories to tell and pictures for most of them but no energy to pound them into coherence.


a animated pixel commission icon for bats of, what else, a chicken person named Bwengo, who does not appear at all pleased about it.

I thought at first that I would not be able to draw this at all, especially considering the state of the reference images which had been illustrated by a third party who is obsessed with drawing gross things, or non-gross things in a gross way. People eat that up. I don’t know why. I can’t eat something that looks gross. Which of course can be in your favor when you resemble a chicken, but once again I seem to be in an extreme minority here. But I found a way to draw it which was not gross, and since there are almost 0 chicken human hybrid enthusiasts on the internet this animation will not be circulated among them so that I get a superficial increase in viewership whose goal is to find the part of the drawing(s) about which I am least comfortable and try to convince me to quadruple down on it for them for less money and then either shun me when I refuse or worse, NOT shun me and keep at it. This isn’t one of the stories I am too tired to tell! This is one of the stories that contributes to me being too tired to talk about anything more potentially entertaining! Creepy people used to be FUNNY to me. But now that they are creepy directly TO me, to try and make ME creepy, my only defense is to become BORING instead!


Yes this was almost two years ago, when melt-fetishists thought *I* must be a melt fetishist because I drew animations of things melting because I thought it was funny, and I have kept future incidents from happening with foot fetish people who thought *I* was a foot fetish person because I thought feet were funny, but I kept them from happening by changing into a boring person who says nothing strange or ambiguous, and I stopped THINKING in a strange way, even in venues totally unrelated to me trying to get money for artwork without pursuing it through legitimate channels. Even though the fact that people read my humor as perversion and my actual perversion as banality is the strangest thing of all.

I was talking to this person for hours just because it was so bizarre and I could hardly believe that somebody was sending me all these weird pictures and videos, mixed in with totally innocuous clips of stuff filmed underwater and from a helicopter. And I subconsciously changed my entire public persona just to stop that from happening again. Bloody rubbish. Please don’t send me pictures of bloody rubbish.

The fact of the madder is that “normal” people get really weird when they are sexual, and under just the wrong circumstances, they interpret my latent aversion to typicality as eroticism.

Possibly related, people on the internet who boast about being “weird” are painfully typical. Also, just to be clear/boring, THIS person is not the one who was sending me rubber pictures without an invitation. I have no specific memory of what this person did. Because this person ISN’T WEIRD. Or IS, relative to the complete history of humanity, but not compared to every other boring person it knows in 2018.


Gosh looking at this now it appears that I only drew half of the nose ring during the pecking part. Oops. I merely forgot to finish shading it but the effect is the same since it is visible so briefly that its impression is partly subliminal. It seems like there is one big dark nostril on one side and not the other. I had been trying NOT to look at the animation between when I declared it done and this point since I was worried I would see something that I had a little problem with and treat it like a huge problem. But this IS a BIG problem. But I already posted this on the sharing sites; anybody who was going to see this already has. If I fix that, nobody will ever know! What a tragedy. Except for you dear viewer! For you and for me I will fix it. Yes yes yes. In fact I already did. There is no reason to have the picture of the wrong frame here! Get that out of here!



March 6, 2018
These are the two mouthy and cowardly frogs seen periodically throughout the Sewer Access in 2300 AD.


This looks familiar. I thought it prudent to find a way to make this look dumber so I could post it on faceboof, where animated gifs are justifiably not permitted.



March 4, 2018
you look like you’re really on the ball

The lizard of two evils


in the disrespect that it looks very stupid and is also animated.

The dumbest thing is that the lizard thinks it has to change its pose to a broader stance with its arms crossed, like that will impress people, which is NOT the case. What that absurd moron fails to recognize is that nobody on earth or elsewhere is impressed. Not elpse. Not even the dope! nemitz, maybe, but i think we should all aim for better than that. It also seems unaware that its head is disproportionate to its body until it falls down since the square boundaries are difficult to optimize for an upright-standing figure. Or even a degenerate bow-legged dork like this one.

i absolutely did not need to make this. I considered that i had not animated anything recently, and also that my most-appreciated overall artwork have been low resolution pixel icons.


And apart from one that made before I knew what I was doing, they all feature other people’s characters. Some of which I do not like at all. Not necessarily any of those, though not necessarily not NOT any of those. And those that I dislike inspire other people with equally bland or worse requests to come to me instead of ones I could potentially find a mutually beneficial situation with. Which is not to say that i APPROVE of either of the morons that I am showing today, but i disapprove of them in a way that amuses me. Nor do I mean to suggest that I think drawing dumb garbage like this and then waiting is going to solve any problem, but I was starting to think that anything by me with wiggling creature toes being used as even a remote representation of myself, as I had done with the second icon here, was creating problems.

I could not tell you WHY there even is a problem that exists which is caused by that. I have lived a strange and unrealistic life, and that has its consequences.

If only life could be such a fantasy! It would surely be my final, were i to believe in it.



November 29, 2017
The super part of Man of Steel is just okay, but the man part is super.”[139]


Three 100×100 pixel icons for Sherymon.

One more for beepy isopod plushcub.

Anything else I am doing right now is boring and not worth mentioning. I know because I just typed it all out and it sure was! I am not going to post something long and negative again unless it is negative in an interesting way or I forget that I said this. Of course I believe I have said that before and forgotten it.

even Superman sometimes forgets that there are thousands of other garishly-dressing idiots with super powers on his version of Earth and also the simultaneously existing alternate versions of earth that also have alternate versions of him on them. And also to put on a shirt, or to NOT wear glasses and a goshdarn belt buckle identifying his alternate identity when forcibly evicting trees from his property.



November 12, 2017
After a hilarious sleepover, a visit to a zoo rainforest exhibit, and Norman’s attempts to teach Fluffy karate, the three plants team up to foil some bad guys.

A commission animation “icon” for goldquiver, showing a bat creature which transforms into a plant creature, and then back again, and then unback again, and on like that for a very long time. Feel free to wait.
I have proved with my comic pages that I can spend a week and show very little. With this I dedicated to show even less happening!

They ALWAYS smile at the end. They NEVER think whatever painful thing they just experienced will EVER happen again, no matter HOW many times it repeats. Fools!



November 5, 2017
Problem Inspection Report on Pocket Monster Animated Series

This website has not been very fun lately! It takes too long to write fun things, and then miserable bits always creep into them. And I have made no further progress on the automated “store,” and wonder if I will. I have difficulty focusing on things for which I cannot constantly have results to look at. It does not feel like my “destiny.” When people try to get me to write “a children’s book,” that does not feel right, either.

Apparently amateurish looping animations of other peoples’ characters is my “destiny.” Or maybe that is a non-destiny less apart from what is, and easier to justify and manage the short term effort in.


for scraner, this happy, dorkular figure, with an ear that I was told looks like a feather but is not a feather. It has difficulty fitting in due to its unusual appearance and acts out in a sometimes inappropriate manner in an attempt to get attention. Unlike other recent “icon” commissions, this was drawn in Flash SWF format, and it certainly looks like it was.

Yet I have to display it as a gif with three times the file size and reduced color fidelity since modern browsers are increasingly hostile toward efficient vector-based drawings — in fact SWF means “small web format” — blocking them by default and requiring manual, two-step permission to show one, from viewers who might assume anything blocked by default with no explanation is inherently dangerous. Mobile systems never even bothered to implement support for swf. It is 1996 technology, after all. So instead we use gifs, which are from 1987. Where were these pocket overprotectors back in 2004 when every corporate website was using SWF to play obnoxious laggy noisy pop-up videos without permission? Now that big money scumbags are done with them, NOW we get to acknowledge that creeps can embed viruses in them.



Now that I am the last creep using them. Now that I have a computer powerful enough to actually have a animated flash swf open on a page without everything else getting screwed up. Now that I have stopped posting links to my website on forums full of people I would actually want to inflict viruses on were I competent to insert one.


We can all agree that punches to bow tie meeps would be highly inadvisable to block, in any decade.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: July 21, 2018
Purplespace sez:
I always assumed they meant a fishing boat captain who should be knowledgeable on what fish are...
July 13, 2018
Charmlatan sez:
I’m always excited when your comic venture updates. Despite being exposition heavy, I...
June 19, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
They are fans of commercialized chaff first and people second. I can forgive them if they are...
June 19, 2018
Dark thoughts invoked sez:
Yeah, cartoon pornography is not the only problem, but it surely is the tip of the...
June 19, 2018
Frimpinheap sez:
I refuse to acknowledge that anybody said that.
June 14, 2018
Dhraiden sez:
yabbity babbity I say
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