the hammock imp can officially be offended by a strawberry in real time. implementing this as usual took more effort than it should have, but also as usual it involved doing something for the first time that I expect will be easier on subsequent uses of the same technique, which as usual probably will not be.
the gif version has a shadow. the one in the screenshot doesn’t because I only just added it and it still looks awkward. But it looks worse without one. Wolfenstein 3d (and blake stone) sprites had shadows drawn on the ground but conventional doom engine never did, since they can leave the ground and in the 1993 code there was no way for an object to check if it was on the ground. And also perhaps the only way to ensure the shadow was never lighter than the ground was to have it always be full black, which looks cartoony. Never mind the bright red blood or weird saturated blues in the palette. But cartoony works for what I am doing, at least to a degree.
there is a way to automatically generate duke-nukem 3d style shadows behind objects but that looks bad with anything meant to appear attached to the ceiling or that might possibly appear near an edge, as the shadow will always display in full even if it runs out of level ground
the snapping motion is for if the player attempts to attack it with something other than a strawberry, which for the moment flings the player backward into the air (surreptitiously using four wah blasts fired at once) without inflicting damage. HOWEVER, this view change makes clear that despite the shadow issue the object still isn’t REALLY attached to the ceiling! If I make the ceiling lower, the top of the sprite gets visually cut off from the ground view which prevents you from seeing the creature escape through the ceiling when it does and also that I applied a minor palette conversion to make sure the trap door is the same color as the ceiling!
see?! you almost can’t! see it! which means it might as well not be there at all! aye yike so much to do
also this is my first time running the game since upgrading my RAM from 16 to 32 gigglebytes back in may. Now the game only slows down approximately exactly as much as before
pog knows I sure NEED a wendell figure. I have lacked one this whole time and look at where it has gotten me!
where is Wendel? Hopefully Arkham Asylum if that is the best picture available.
Ironic that the topic should be presented like this because on every previous occasion that I saw Wendell I typically wondered where the other two chefs had gotten off to. My reaction has not changed and evidently this psychopathic artwork has not changed either. But maybe the story is bigger than Wendell and the only way to keep him from talking about his disappeared colleagues was to subject him to the same fate, whatever that was, or pack him away to a place where no one would hear his story.
so send this cinnamon toast creep there, too
what the help? does being near cinnamon toast crunch give people brain damage? or is that youtube?
or perhaps cinnamon toast crunch works to attract people who already have damaged brains
because this is what i have this week
I had this on an audio cassette tape a life ago, and had occasion to think of it earlier while dispensing decorative shiny objects about the immediate premises. I have attempted to look it up in the past and had no success, but THIS time found that this very October somebody uploaded them to the you tube, on an account that has existed since 2007 with apparently no other content.
as if to say, I’m not going down for the cartoon dog christmas album but I believe the time has come for the world to know about it.
oddly enough his other account only has TWO videos, one of which is just an Ugly Luigi meme, even though as far as I know more lawsuits have been threatened over nintendo junk than the ding danged pound puppies, but one way or another if one gets taken out the other will survive and have a chance to flee to safety.
the songs also have comments disabled, to ensure nobody starts snooping around asking questions.
questions like: “why did you feel it was necessary to kid-designate and thus comment-block this 36-year old christmas album that has probably more tracks on it than people who have heard of it who still remember it who would bother to go looking for it who are most of a certainty older than it?” or “why did you spell rudolph like that?”
or more to the point
“what happen?”
expanding the description reveals more of Volcano’s concern that he has put himself at risk with this caged canid caroling. He even put the dumb ™ in the text, twice, for fleep’s beeps. I want to send a message to tell him he missed a few. but I can’t.
I don’t want to hear this album again. But I feel like I must. It is my earliest memory of some of the songs on it, named “beginning to look a lot like christmas” and “my favorite things,” although it still doesn’t strike me as much of a christmas song. But these were early enough memories that I don’t remember watching the cartoon that I presumably had been a fan of. I ordinarily avoid the word “fan;” I watched the smurfs as a child just because it was on but I have no memory of ever liking them. I don’t remember LIKING pound puppies either but I definitely had their dumb christmas album and one of the dolls so i must have expressed fondness for the product line.
In particular “the night before christmas” is presented as a song and the dumb tune always stuck with me even though I have not heard it elsewhere, and “We wish you a merry christmas” has disco instrumentation in it that it ordinarily lacks. also lots of howling.
I most definitely don’t want anyone else to hear me hearing this. But I also don’t want to hear it in absolute clarity with headphones. Maybe I can use some “AM radio with static” audio filter to take the edge off.
I also recall that even as a small child I was put off by the dorky dialog accompanying the rudolph section. I have absolutely no recollection of the title track Jingle Bells, and only a few minutes ago determined that was the NAME of the album. In my lifelong naivete I imagined it was simply called “The Pound Puppies Christmas Album” rather than “Pound Puppies Jingle Bells” which sounds more like a euphemism for an outmoded neutering technique.
……
alright, I listened to it. Pretty dumb, but not the most embarrassing thing I have ever heard as an adultish sized human. None of the songs t cause me psychological distress like the “in summer” and “fixer upper” songs from frozen do, although perhaps they would were i forced to listen against my will, on multiple occasions, and knowing the production was almost universally acclaimed. I do in fact recognize the piano intro to Jingle Bells, which I mentally had swapped with a version I heard at a “christmas concert” in middle school. It includes the line “bells and telephones ring,” WHICH may at last explain why “bells on bobtails” never sounded right to me, even now. because the POUND PUPPIES LIED TO ME. it also includes a completely barked instance of the chorus, presumably inspired by the atrocious “singing dogs” novelty records from the 1950s. in fact every song has at least one barked chorus and a few altered lines in it –often referring to wanting to be adopted, because don’t forget these are POUND puppies, strays picked up off the street scheduled to be murdered if not taken out in time, as their parents before them surely already were, and rather unpleasantly too, this predating the Humane Euthanasia Act of 1990, the usual children’s entertainment fare– but I can’t always tell what the altered lines ARE, though I couldn’t always tell what they were before.
the official album title does indeed indicate that barking will be present in tiny, diagonally offset but elegant letters, which presumably won’t be noticed by most people until long after they have already heard the barking, and who consequently ought to at least appreciate the relative fanciness of the italic font.
even stranger: I eventually realized that this product predates the cartoon. The album artwork shows relatively non-anthropomorphized dogs more like the stuffed dolls than the bipedal only-ladies-have-hair-on-top-of-their-fur Hanna Barbera designs. Which means this is literally adults singing and yelping in weird voices, not as specific characters. And apart from the producer and “art director” I can’t find any credits!
only some goober trying to sell a copy signed by some of the cartoon’s voice actors, including Joanne Worley, whom wikehhhpedia tells me was not involved with the tv series that the other three were, only a made-for-tv “movie” that predated it, which the other three weren’t in, so it makes no sense for them to have sang on the same album, which makes me think none of them did. The seller’s text claiming they did also refers to songs by incorrect titles and follows it with a 98% irrelevant copy-pasted biography of Nancy Cartwright which is a majority of the text on the page.
please don’t attempt to read that, this is simply to prove that it exists! Mr. Electric Volcano was preoccupied with copyrights but Canaromorubu cares only for Cartwrights.
Do you think 85-year-old Ruth “Two Scoops a’ Truth” Buzzi remembers what every dumb cartoon for which she recorded a voice looks like? She might have thought
they may be beyond help.
recently in the frozen food section at my local El Shoppo supermarket i was overcome with an unnatural feeling. something wasn’t quite right but was quite corny
no not that
there is NO WAY goya fit THAT much disco into these tiny little bags. i am not by any system of measures a music theory expert but i have spent a night on disco mountain and I recognize when someone is jive talking and telling me lies.
Is the pan demic causing a disco shortage? We have been down to one beegee for a few years now, it is little surprise that the strategic disco reserve is at an all time low. Maybe Goya is concerned about causing an outbreak of disco fever but that is no excuse for surreptitiously downsizing the disco. Goya has come under criticism for its close relationship with the Trump administration, and I would hate to think they knew what was going on all along and were colluding to drive up the price of disco. It is bad enough I can only afford a fifth of Beethoven.
According to one disco expert, quote: “I couldn’t get enough, so I had to self destruct.” He seemed optimistic that satisfaction would come with a chain reaction but those are the words of a desperate man and I don’t think anybody should have to resort to such measures. He further purported to have “heard somebody say ‘burn baby burn'” but would not disc
ah this box size looks a bit more accurate but what? 40 discos?! impossible! even if it were possible that would be TOO MUCH disco! You would be crazy like a fool to try and take that much. I contend that at proper size 10 is a whole lotta disco and probably at about the periphery of safe d
2018 in pictures
janu handle it
or february of it
marf
ayp
may
june
july
august
september
october
novemeberg
december
That is everything that happened this year which wasn’t depressing
This is an exaggerated garbage idea that would be funny if i drew it like garbage instead of spending hours trying to draw it above my level, even though it still isn’t drawn particularly well.
additionally, the earliest saved sketch i have of it still is not funny, because I cannot draw badly in a way that looks functionally deliberate.
Such is the bimshwel existence.
The guy with sunglasses is not part of my initial pitch to myself, and that might also be a problem. If the idea works at all, that guy is not a part of it and explaining this makes it even less funny, but the rubbish I was writing that led me to think of this as a way of illustrating instead of spelling out, now plainly needs to be written anyway since this picture didn’t work so when I write that I will have no choice but to explain it. If necessary, I may even explain the previous sentence.
a video compilation of animated icons, mostly (but not entirely) commissions, that I spent entirely too much time on irrelevant aspects of. The music is an acquired taste that you will probably want to misplace.
I had to stop doing commissions entirely because THIS really is what I have to show for it! As I have become more obsessive compulsive I have run out of time to do anything else. The only real animation I have done in a year is that irrelevant bit at the end.
I was having difficulty choosing a new solid state drive but I think all my problems are solved.
The mistake most manufacturers make is assuming i want to put the drive into my computer. They do not guess that I want to tape it over my eyes and punch the air with both hands at the same time like The Question.
If you are not familiar with The Question, the important things you need to know are
1: he ain’t got no face.
2) he is an expert at saving time.
3; he won’t give in to what is wrong and we refuse to stand up for what is right!
4, his best friend Prof is controlled by two puppeteers, one for his head and body and one for his hands, so he can perform coordinated actions, similar to Rowlf the dog.
this person is actually named “Tot” but I call him PROF because that is what his mug says and it appears like this is extremely important.
5? the answer is murder!
6! if he goes to Germany he HAS to dress like a nerd
Anything else?
I probably will not link to this post there!
You see this? Don’t try to read it. Not even there where it is legible. This is ALL blowhard wikipedia writers citing and comparing statistics of the money Finding Dory accumulated relative to other movies of various time periods across various time periods and NONE of it will matter once the next Avatar, Avengers, Frozen, Meet the Deedles sequels have come out, except to make their own bullshingle statistics sections longer. And this doesn’t include the NON-domestic grosses. It is gross wherever it goes.
This contextless blurb “Perfect May Be An Understatement” on the back of the box, attributed to Mark S Allen of “ABC” which incidootily is owned by the same company that produced the film, and what I initially came here to complain about, “perfect”ly illustrates what is wrong with the state of our mass media. 5 stars, 10 outta 10, 100% on Rotten Tamaytas and even the word “perfect” itself have been used so often to describe things that are just kind of good that they are now treated as if they are not good enough when a production to be rated is marginally better than kind of good. Our superlative language is just as inflated as our currency. When I declared Black Panther to not be radical I was presenting my opinion, but perfect CANNOT POSSIBLY be an “understatement” because the singular purpose of the word is to describe a thing which is as good as it possibly could be. Being better than perfect is only possible if perfect doesn’t mean what a dictionary says it does. In which event it is a pointless word because there are already words to describe kind of good whose meanings are less debatable.
I mean not to accuse that Allen is biased because ABC pays him to say nice stuff about disney-owned properties. I mean ABC wouldn’t hire somebody who has any remotely divergent or considered opinions. He has a wikehhhpedia page with a big smiley unblemished soulless picture of himself and a huge list of awards he has won but no indication that he ever had a thought in his life or even A life outside of being visible and awarded for being visible. Like Ryan Seacrest or Regis Philbin, he only exists to be in California and on television and radio and to like stuff that he sees and be quoted saying so by whoever requires a quote.
Just to be certain I looked up Regis’ morning show, which is in fact filmed in New York City, the only other place this sort of person is allowed to be, but EVIDENTLY Ryan Seacrest now has Regis’ old cohost spot. I believe these people spent a year “searching” before they found Ryan flurpindurpin Seacrest like I believe perfect may be an understatement.
And beyond that I know Finding Dory isn’t perfect because it still features the voice of Albert brooks — look at that orange fish in the shot just accidentally, I could tell before this was even screened in my presence that the fish was saying something scratchy and abrasive I did not want to hear. And every other male voiceover sounds mysteriously similar in jerk raspiness quotient, including a manta ray, an octopus, a beluga and a clam that is so grating and fake-comedic that even the other grating unfunny characters don’t like it. And even the ones that aren’t raspy are still obnoxious and neurotic and phony but then suddenly abruptly serious with sad music and from a non-voice actor just like every voiceover in every animated movie made since shrek came out and constantly throwing immersion-breaking “real world humor” at viewers like every cartoon since 1994 aladdin even though in aladdin it came via a being with magical time-transcending power who ultimately is a ripoff of daffy duck, who ceased being a bankable character around the same period (and also gilbert gottfried but he at least sounds inhuman and the remaining actors weren’t cast so their names could be advertised). It lacks the pacifist carnivores in a selective context that is presented as if it is plausible and sustainable that the first film irked me with, but there is about 3% effort put into making any of the characters sound like characters and not actors talking into microphones. I appreciate that it has less Albert Brooks than the other film but there is still a gorkload of albert brooks and people who talk the same way. And the obnoxious nebbishy dialog-
NEBBISH I said. I was trying to avoid saying “Jewy” but you have forced my hamlessness. I think the hurriedly talking over each in other in calm but annoyed voices and constant instances of “sorry” is supposed to make the characters seem “real” but real people aren’t like that unless you live inside an episode of Dory-voice Ellen Degeneres’ 1994 sitcom “Ellen,” which I as a child actually enjoyed, it being a tv show with live actors rather than a cartoon with talking animals, but for the sake of my example I shall say “Seinfeld.”
Which is how that “bee movie” got made eleven gosh darn years ago but that flopped because it actually presented itself as for scumbags instead of pretending it wasn’t because people don’t want to admit they are scumbags. Finding Bory isn’t a movie for children. It constantly jumps backwards and forwards in time, like it thinks it is Watchmen with fish. It heavily features the conventionally dreary heard-in-ads songs “What a Wonderful World” and “Unforgettable,” for crying out hopelessly. This is a movie for adults who think they are creative and open-minded because they watch movies for children. And Disney markets to THEM because they have more money than children and more contacts on the internet to hype-vertise at, but if they have children will also impose it on their children and think they are GOOD PARENTS for doing so.
I believe there should be cartoons for adults, but I think the pixar approach is disingenuous.
Findor Doingy also features Ty Burrell doing his best impression of the creep from archer after his character turns from also sounding like Albert Brooks partway through. I had to look up who it was just to be sure it wasn’t; that is H. Jon Benjamin. I know that’s his only voice but it confounded me to think that somebody else would be hired to try and sound like him. But the continued success of things that I hate indicates that confounding me is, from a business perspective, a very good idea.
Additionally, computer graphic technology has advanced to the point where environments look totally real, great, so you might as well just use real environments and superimpose the characters over them like Walter Disney himself and indentured friends were doing back in the 1940s without any computers, and contrary to now where it means the budget is 200+ million dollars, those filmmakers did it to SAVE money since so many of the art-laborers had been drafted into military service. I do not see the point. But these things all do a billion in sales, big buck$, inflation notwithstanding, because toddlers have no taste and adults live by rituals, and toddlers grow into children with their own rituals based on parents directing their toddler tastelessness toward stuff that they the parents like. I have been on deviantart long enough to see that hasn’t lead to a generation of more sophisticated children. Thankfully Violet (the niece) tends to lose interest midway through these things and wants to paint or play with playdough instead, and says nonsense that she makes up instead of movie quotes, but without my searing hatred for the companies that make the movies so hopefully she will have an easier time later in life being surrounded by people controlled by them than I do, in the event those people and/or those companies don’t overtly run the government by then.
(please do not read this if you have not seen the film but intend to. There may also be other reasons to not read this!)
I saw black panther der film (based on the presumably well known comic book character) not terribly long ago. I thought it was a functional film though not totally cohesive and nothing about it surprised me. Probably better than Thor 2 but not as good as Thor 3. Goy was *I* wrong!
And during a brief exposure to nbc olympic coverage that I recalled afterward, a hypey promotion identified it as “A GAME CHANGER!” among other exclamatory phrases in big gold text that supposedly were said by real people whose job it is to say things like that. Trying to find that advertisement on the internet to get a picture of it is not a good use of my time. The important thing is that without me paying any particular attention it is clear that somebody wants, NEEDS me to believe that my life was changed by this dumb movie.
Black Panther is a ‘game changer’ because it shows that Marvel films can be just as dull, fragmented and focused on the non-hero identities as DC films, I suppose. Panther appears to have the approximately same skill set as Batman and indeed spends as much of the movie out of costume and occasionally out of the movie that he seems like a secondary character. He has a big fight toward the end but it isn’t the main fight and you can’t see what he is doing since he is fighting somebody else with almost the same black costume, in the dark, with a train blocking your view half the time. And it seems like this fight stops and restarts in much the same manner several times just to drag it out to match the length of the other fight they aren’t in. I only remembered after I left the theater that there was another costumed action sequence in South Korea earlier in the film because that seemed like it was in a different movie and I had to remind myself I had seen it the same evening.
He is not a “radical superhero.” The man he fights, Killmonger, is more radical than he is (so obviously that guy has to die). His sister Shuri is more radical than he is. ooh ooh she calls the white american cia agent “colonizer!” and then tells him all Wakanda’s state secrets despite him already having been shown as complicit in a scheme to buy them from the person who murdered Wakanda’s own king and her father, with diamonds stolen from other African countries and later asks him to shoot down planes piloted by her own black Wakanda countrymen because the US government underwrites all our big budget action movies but puts in insults like “colonizer” so we think they don’t.
Panthy may be the only person in the film who isn’t radical. He willingly gives up his power twice so other people can fight him for claim to it. The only thing he does that is radical is declare his own country’s traditions ludicrous and refuse to go along with them, at least after he loses his royal title legally via those traditions. Hopefully the radicality of telling ghosts they are wrong includes no longer willingly giving up his power in the future. Or declaring that only one person in the whole nation is allowed to have the magic plant the power comes from, as from the look of things they could give it to everybody. Or at least they could until Killmonger burned it all without even saving a stash for himself and then the one plant that was saved was instead of being replanted, fed to Panther even though he already screwed up.
The most intriguing characters, to me, were the ape-worshipers in the ice fortress, and they were in the movie even less than the title figure!
But once the media narrative is out there that this movie has some sort of profound message that the world Needs Right Now it keeps rolling down a hill like a cartoon snowball becoming ever larger in defiance of basic snow physics and few people seem to acknowledge it as a fictional contrivance.
Why should I be so bothered by this? I have felt for ages like almost all our acclaimed media is declared “acclaimed” on invalid terms, loudly and constantly so that common people believe it. What is different now is the forced idea that we are living in the most enlightened and progressive time of all times. Why is it important for people to believe that? Is that supposed to make us want to buy more garbage? More and more garbage than ever before? Peoples’ lives have so little meaning now that they need noiser and boastier false statements of meaning. Which also isn’t new but at some point you can’t get any louder. Lying to yourself that an unholy corporate behemoth made a movie which temporarily solved social inequality doesn’t do any more to get fake nazis to stop appropriating your ugly cartoon frogs than selling trashy merchandise asserting your right to punch them does, but it does make it easier for that behemoth to keep washing your brain in the same brine while it continues to eat smaller behemoths that by any other measure would be quite large.
And that is another matter: Black Panther and all his friends are born into affluence. The only person who isn’t is the guy he kills. “Killmonger” becomes king and has differing ideas about Wakanda’s needless secrecy, secrecy which had condemned him to a life of poverty, but he is implausibly irrational and unforgiving so that he is entirely unsympathetic. Panther only acknowledges the secrecy is ineffectual after his enemy does, and then his enemy still has to die. That yet allows the film have a message of “the wealthy should help others in the end,” except “the wealthy” in this case are from a fictional country that controls magic from space. And then white American CIA man is in attendance applauding because it isn’t HIS country that has to change. In fact WAKANDA’s money is going to come to AMERICA to help poor kids. Which is FINE if you accept that the film is a FANTASY whose intent is to amuse viewers. The dilapidated apartment complex in Oakland California that Wakanda people buy up to renovate wasn’t even filmed in Oakland! It was shot in ATLANTA Georgia. Oakland got no money from this movie!
The “Sweet Auburn” neighborhood where that WAS filmed does indeed has a history of suffering under segregation, but by the same token that Oakland didn’t get any money, Auburn didn’t get any recognition. And that is FINE in a fancy bit of stagecraft based on a comic book because it ISN’T REAL anyway!
Disney putting one gay character in each of their movies or at least making cynically planned leaks implying that they might doesn’t do a thing for actual social justice. I saw that Beauty + Beast remake also and Lefou “being” gay is about the least relevant dumb thing about it and that isn’t directly indicated anywhere, either.
That whole story was an exaggeration to get press and fan-wank points without them actually having to commit to any real change, and they get to have news stories saying both things, possibly at the same time. I expect that the writers remembered when JK Rollingsworth announced that Dumbledory was gay and got press for that (hence MY knowing about it) even though she was already done writing the Helly Pothuh books and never actually put that in any of them. And so the more recent Beast’s movie’s only goals were to make money by riding a wave of “retro” media regurgitation, to ret-con its previous movie to be mostly the same except where it conflicted with contemporary entertainment mores, and most fundamentally to establish a cartoon from 1991 as “the original” version of a story from centuries ago. And if you think this 2017 movie is a waste of time that is at best is a sad pageant imitation of a “masterpiece” then Disney still wins! People go buy fresh copies of that and themed merchandise to take pictures of themselves being owned by.
Certainly a MAIN character in a major budgeted mainstream mush being ACTUALLY gay without that being a joke or shoved into people’s business like “oooh isn’t this RADICAL?” would help to normalize it, and make people fuss over it less when it happens again. Although until it DOES happen I don’t give anyone credit for talking about it MAYBE happening in the future, and that still wouldn’t make the movie it happens in automatically bearable.
The fact of the madder is that almost everybody I have contact with is hopelessly depressed. The only ones who think they aren’t are hopelesslier addicted to stupid cartoons and video games, memey hogwash and hypey rubbish in support of those things because if they allowed themselves to think, they would realize how depressed they are.
To reiterate, I think the Black Panther’s film is fine, and it did what it did without relying on characters from other Marvel movies, which I don’t think has happened in this series since Iron Man in 2008. Although much of the VALUE of the series IS its ability cross things over, but it gets out of hand, and can be frustrating when a character whose movie you haven’t seen is suddenly THERE and meant to be recognized but you can’t because too many of them wear dark body suits without helmets. The people who created Black Panther are not necessarily complicit in the campaign to have the latest mildly above average bit of distraction material be declared society’s ambrosia, but I doubt they are questioning their inclusion in it either. I am thankful to have new non-internet proof that this campaign exists, because the last few years it has mostly manifested in things I had NOT experienced, because I was near television a lot and saw the hype first and thereby became too biased to assess them honestly. Being biased does not mean you are wrong. But it does mean you need to work harder to be certain you are not wrong. I was unilaterally biased against Disney for over 10 years and so I stopped complaining about it [as much] for a while, thinking I looked foolish and might possibly be unfair. But I have seen Frozen AND Tangled since my niece Violet was baptized in the princess indoctrination glitter cloud by forces beyond my control. And I can say with as much honesty as I trust myself to have that I think Tangled is probably a better film than Frozen, but if watching Frozen with Violish one more time would magically purge Tangled from existence, i would do it. And if watching both Beauties and both Beasts back to back would purge both those other two then gosh gad why not apart from that not actually being likely to work, because at least 1991 BnB has whimsy and 2017’s tepid re-enactment momentarily permits people to remember that whimsy was once allowed.
Seeing the way people talk about Black Panther after I saw it reminds me of what I also see people retroactively saying about Zelda Skyward Sword compared to the 5 outta 5 release hype. I don’t need to get into this matter deeply but I lost interest in the Zelda series after being utterly disinterested in and frustrated by Ocarina of Time, but my sister liked that one a lot so I tried to imagine I just did not have the right mindset and dexterity for it. But I saw her take to the follow up games with utter sincerity and willingness to enjoy them, and for the first time we could BOTH see all the bland tedious poorly designed gate-keeping hassles that I already considered the series synonymous with, albeit without the hideous n64 graphics or endless repetition of dopey 3-note jingles.
of course the posters outside the cinema would have me believe that peter flippin dippin bippin rabbit is a radical superhero. Yes compared to THAT Black Panther is highly significant. It isn’t enough to give the smug homogenite treatment to every remotely popular culture figure from my life time, evidently. They have to mess with my great grandparents’ too now. This just looks like the sequel to “Hop.”
No Peter rabbit is not an off-brand bugs bunny who chomps carrots while winking at the camera and then stuns Mr. McGregor with a big smooch before clobbering him with his own rake. Peter Rabbit steals RADISHES for his own personal benefit and runs away because he is TERRIFIED since his father rabbit did the same thing and got caught and baked into a pie. He isn’t a “rebel” out to cause trouble. He is just foolish. Beatrix Potter’s characters are entertaining because they are foolish, not because they are “cool.” What is even the point? There will only be name recognition among people who would find this ghastly.
Also: I know what “hop” is and yet recall that it exists because a person known as Bunsen robisioned me to draw their rabbit character one time and some unaffiliated degenerate saw it, copied it and uploaded it to this gross cartoon pornography site and identified it as homage art to “hop (movie)” even though the dork from Hop isn’t half classy enough to half-dress this well.
oh beets, there is that gosh darn honey mace again.
Going back a bit more beyond last week’s very important matter, there was a point in history during which the Honey Nut Cheerio Bee threatened to dump a jar actually labeled “honey” on to the cereal. Which also never happened even one time but I assure you it is closer to the truth than the dumb magic wand. I presume the wand was substituted because contemporary people believe they are more “sophisticated” than the people who came before them. Honey out of a jar? Like no way broseph, that’s PROCESSED FAKE GMO CORPORATE NON-ORGANIC honey! I only eat fake processed gmo corporate non-organic honey on my cereal when the corporation shows me a picture of that honey coming out of some stupid slimy striped thing on a stick.
Personally, I am more concerned about where those nuts are coming from. And where they are going, I suppose, since it isn’t into the bowl.
Grape gimpity the bee looks like it is in a cult. The wand touched the bee’s tiny insect hivemind and shorted it out.
Now that it has cracked, psychologically, it has fled society, leaving the cursed staff behind to corrupt a new generation. I would be concerned for the bee’s safety if I did not typically want it to die.
alright, it has returned and now it thinks it is batman. good work. And the stupid wand is back in business!
Looking closer it becomes apparent that Bee does not wear the full costume, so it must have some inkling that it is not batman. Although if its queen has been murdered that would explain its sudden lack of purpose and need of a new identity. A queenless hive will only produce male bees, who do not do any work, and this signifies the upcoming collapse and death of the colony. For a long time the honey nut cheerio bee believed its spokesperson job constituted work, which made it confused as to whether it was male or female. The Bat-Man persona may be an indication not of insanity, as I initially suspected, but of acceptance of its nature and purpose at last. Nonetheless that wand is stupid and has NO purpose.
Although, although: what IS a male bee’s “purpose?” None but to mate and die immediately afterward, with its endophallus action being so powerful as to paralyze the male bee and throw it backward, with no guarantee the queen was even able to receive the ejected fluid. Perhaps the wand has nothing to do with honey, but is a means to artificially inseminate queen bees with no harm brought to the initiator. Though the bee may be overconfident, choosing specifically NOT the clothe the one pertinent region of its body. Almost as if daring people to attack and attempt to make the bee mate with them. And beyond man, to bat-man specifically, it may be the case that Bee, knowing male bees lack stinging apparatuses, has equipped itself with compensatory measures, but preferring not to kill foes outright, and scare them into not attacking at all if possible. Though it may have gone too far in imitating Bat-Man since the cape is certain to, if not get tangled in the wings, certainly prevent them from working.
What is important is the bee is dangerous.
This picture is not technically relevant but I placed it in my folder for non sequitur website images in September 2006 and I do not think it is ever going to be totally relevant to anything.
On a side note, apart from my very important and focused discussion with myself, General Mills hired TWO artists of whom I am meant to have heard, judging by there being a pair of signatures beside it, to draw the bee for this box, and yet they, two people, with a corporate review board scrutinizing the job it at ever step, positioned the glove reaching out to strangle me so that one of the bee’s eyes is partially obscured, making the facial expression look screwy, even beyond the insane open-mouthed faces of agony I have already come to associate with modern incarnations of old cereal mascots. This is NOT an aesthetically functional art job. Apart from that, the detail level is about the same as the usual non-signatured bee so I am not totally sure why they bothered, apart from to make me feel compelled to write about it almost a year later, to keep me from writing about something much more significant and uplifting,
like winning the heart of the one you love through your barnyard vocalizations.
2017 in pictures
I am Feb up with your behaviour
June never said I needed to mess with every month’s name
Desi Arnember
If anything else happened, it probably was not important.
Don’t see also: 2016 in pictures
potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes potatoes.
You may mock me for drawing creaturefolk who abstain from wearing trousers but at least I regularly issue belts; Lizard Man from Capcom’s 1991 arcade classishc Magic Sword has to CARRY that scabbard at ALL times. And Magic Sword is not a brief jaunt; either; there are 50 stages!
Eh don’t push it! A bunch can be cleared in under 30 seconds, and many can be skipped! However, skipping while holding a sword and a scabbard will wear you out on a long journey. Lizardman risks mild eventual pain from clutching one object that long.
Please, Ninja, put that thing down first! I know you want to help but right now you are just complicating matters.
I would ask Thief to carry something but I am concerned he would not give it back.
Thief, you appear to have come into a bit of wealth recently.
Did you share it with Lizard Man? He seems to have spent it all on gold rims and breast implants instead of practical things that he needs! So irresponsible! Typical frivolous lizard. Reptiles don’t even HAVE mammaries. And I can refer you to several people who will think they are extremely smart for telling you that.
Think you I would wed such a brute? My mother warned me about lizard men like you! I know you’re only holding a shield instead of a scabbard to appease me.
I see you have met the underwear and bare chest dress code for the wedding but oh! Don’t tell me you lost your sword! I just saw you throw away three perfectly good ones! What am I to do with you?
Well well, it appears I have some options now.
2016 in pictures
I worked harder than ever in 2016. Consequently, I got far less done.
january
disco feber
marrrrrrg i’ve been helgenbergered
a now you’re a pril now
mavis beacon teaches typing
hey there june bug you sure look good, dancing in the mud
julehhhhhh
augtober
septococcus paiella
octchoo i sneezed eight times
the nov boat
don’t mess with dexas
There is everything that happened this year. In fact it may be more things than happened. We are living beyond our means. And now I am adding any text I can think of because I forgot how fragile this site’s crummy margin code is and it will condense to the width of the widest image otherwise. Howdy.
I cannot really say I have the energy or interest for this right now, but nobody else seems to either, and if nobody buys any that saves me several trips in the coming weeks! The real trouble, of course, is people who do want some but don’t say anything until very late so I should probably do as I did after getting very few decisive requests last year, and just print replacements anyway. Although “Cholesteronslaught” and “Hang in Where” have not been in this series previously and it is hard to guess potential interest. Theoretically any more desirable designs could be substituted for them but I forgot to ask around about that months ago like I meant to!
Although I did not ask about any of the types and nothing has been totally un-bought. “Slopes of Lope” and “Exskis Me” have probably been bought the least times and I did not print any new ones last year, and still did not run out. I would like to take them off the chart to make it less cluttered for the things people are more likely to want if they discern the presences, but I also want to get rid of the amount I still have. But if I DO sell them that proves there IS interest which means I need to keep them on the chart!
I really should have left the pog logo alone. Perhaps I will just put a picture of a potato on the back of the new items.
Regular 8.5×11 inch prints are also generally available, for about $10 each. I realize $3 for the little things with stuff printed on both sides and 10 for something slightly larger with no ostensibly practical function may not seem to make much sense, but the big prints are ultimately better for displaying long term, whereas the cards I presume are looked at briefly and tossed away in most cases. With that in mind I offer a 33% discount on any cards you don’t want sent and will toss them away for free.