1000 questions about your favorite friends! If your favorite friends are people who don’t even know you exist, and perhaps more importantly don’t exist themselves, you need new friends.

…and here’s another one. Why is it shaped like this? Just to make storage difficult? So it will not group properly with standard rectangular games? That’s a pretty isolationist policy for people who claim to be so chumsy. The alternative is that this is not a game at all, but actually one of those cardboard paged books I used to read before I could read. Some of those may have been about friendship.

The only thing worse than a Friends trivia board game is massive famine, martial law, roving rape gangs, tornados, ehhh… but the only thing worse than a Friends trivia board game within the scope of this website entry is a Friends trivia video game. If you have a Playstation 2, you could theoretically pretend to do all sorts of astounding things. Certainly more interesting than what a couple goofs do in a couple giant apartments with walls missing. Certainly more interesting than being quizzed on what they once did. And… you wouldn’t play this game alone, would you? If you have other people to play against, you could play Bomberman or Marvel vs. Candy Corn or I don’t really know what’s been released for these infernal machines in the last ten years. But even a stupid video card game would be better than this, and those are horrible. There are a bunch of Jeopardy games, surely. There always have been. I wouldn’t ever recommend them, but if you insist on awkwardly answering questions through your television with no possible planned payoff you might as well see if you can learn something.

Don’t German people have their own tv shows? I hate this form of colonialism, saturating foreign markets with indoctrinating rubbish rather than allowing them to come up with their own rubbish. It’s often cheaper to buy rights to and translate other people’s reruns than it is pay fellow citizens to produce new content, so, with all successful capitalists being scoundrels at heart, of course they do that. Or at least some book I read that mostly focused on the 1960s because most of it was written then said that. Aren’t you impressed that I read a book, though?

Although I suppose in other countries what’s vapid and mundane here (United Statia) can seem exotic, fascinating and culturally enriching, but I have to think they’ve been having Amelica forced on them for almost a century by now. Sure, my favorite comics are translated (and frequently not translated at all) from French, but they’re not recent, and they’re not about dorks talking to each other and laminating lists and uh bathing. Tintin has serious business. Tintin prevents wars and rescues slaves. He also supports labor strikes.

If you can justify one book, I don’t know, but you certainly don’t need another.

I would like to name Rachel’s beloved childhood dog? I guess not. She can do that herself. But how much money would you pay to answer insignificant questions about one of the most inconsequentially-contented tv shows of recent memory? If your answer was under $10000, then there’s a good chance you’ll not be doing it with this product. I hope it’s not out of stock because somebody bought it. And yet at the same time I don’t see how you can set a price like that for a thing which you don’t have in stock yet but expect to with enough certainty that I can sign up to be notified when it is. If you’re expecting more, then that must be because more are being made, and if they can still be made, and “they” refers to a bunch of printed trinkets in a cookie tin rather than a flying gold toilet, how can you charge that price for it?

This is getting complicated.