December 24, 2020

it has nothing to do with christmas but it is what I have. Very likely you will have to click on it to go to a more legible version, so be sure to not do that.


this attitude exists but the depicted situation is imaginary, since that is the only way anyone, even a dopey purple lizard, would invite that snake anywhere, and neither would likely be permitted in most dining establishments anyway, due to covid, naturally.

thanksh, instagram. You know what doesn’t prompt a “link to a health source”? actively encouraging the purchase and pouring of designer poisons into your mouth.

Early on I considered having the lizard be lope (the annoying lizard from the longer and deceptively ongoing comic strip), but I imagined that thing would totally commit to pretending to like alcohol and not admit it didn’t if it chose to do that. Also the pathetic snake exists is a somewhat more mundane world than lope does so that its experiences are slightly more relevant to reality. Lope would not have access to “beer” and would have to settle for something with a stupider made-up name like Glapzo.
it incorporates a composite of responses from an anonymous comment thread of people claiming to not be able to stand the taste of alcohol but drinking it anyway and not explaining why they would do that and seemingly not even realizing how little sense that makes, apart from one who claims to just be after a “buzz.” I would post specific examples but I don’t feel like entering image code and being reminded of other things to complain about for the rest of the day when this is already two days late! If you can drink it at ALL that means you CAN stand the taste, so your experience is different, unless you have willfully longterm suppressed your ability to taste it, which also means your experience is different since that is ridiculous to do unless you work in espionage or something like that and if you did you would have the discipline to resist leaking out bits of information related to it.

Some people live their whole lives like that, doing totally optional stuff they hate, acting like they don’t have a choice, and forced laughing while explaining it. I can’t stand that. Such as anyone who complains about having to watch idiotic commercialized “educational” television with their small children. YOU had the power to not expose your children to garbage. “oh i’m so out of shape since I haven’t been able to get to The Gym ha ha.” You can exercise anywhere! You don’t need to pay a membership fee to go to some dreadful over air-conditioned gender role-enforcing dump and be seen in embarrassing poses and clothing.
And I don’t want to hear about the long lines at disney world. Oh excuse me, at “Disney.” There are other less-attended theme parks that cost substantially less without being reasonably priced so you can still go fashionably into debt to arrange a trip and are probably closer to your home and don’t directly finance the acquisition and diluted overexposure of formerly tolerable media franchises! Ah oh or the advertisements on spotify. You can GET this music yourself and listen to it whenever you want in any order you want, and you can also listen to music that isn’t in spotify at all. I bring ear phones with me when I go shopping to save myself from having to complain about the terrible music in stores. I have no tolerance for bad food and bad music. I couldn’t pretend to like it if I wanted to, but I also couldn’t ever want to.



2 Responses
  1. 1
    11:48 pm, December 25, 2020

    A doodle bug sez:

    As a frequent customer and at various times employee of both coffee houses and booze shacks, I’d say people’s relationships to these substances are a bit more complicated. Both are acquired tastes, a term which is not, as some suggest, secret code for “bad”, but instead refers to items which have quite intense flavours in some particular respect (often on the bitter or earthy end of the scale), or otherwise have an unusual flavour from the perspective of an individual who is not accustomed to consuming them. In this respect, it’s not surprise, for instance, that coffee consumption tends to be higher among individuals stemming from cultures (or households) where coffee was a readily available option from an early age, as that entire peninsula of flavour geography is not strange and uncharted territory, but rather familiar mountains and beaches one knows like the back of one’s hand. Such familiarity–combined with being acclimated to, and thus not overwhelmed by, the aforementioned intense flavours or sensations coffee or whiskey may provide–also means of is more readily able to note subtleties of flavour which, for those not acclimated will not be able to notice by sheer virtue of the aforementioned overwhelming with one particular intense aspect which, from their perspective, drowns out all other qualities. This is why you will have one group which claims “all thems whiskos taste the same!” (by which they mean have the same alcoholic burn and oaky qualities, which to them dominates everything else), while the other group says “pull the other one, it’s got bells on”, for surely, it seems to them, a universe of difference lies between Canadian Club and Ardbeg.

    That said, you also have people who do note those qualities and subtleties even while being overwhelmed by the aforementioned factors. This is why you get people who say they’re trying to “get in to” beer/whiskey/brandy/coffee/garbanzo beans. For instance, a friend of mind — and a veritable boozehound in general, but not a normal drinker of pure spirits — is a very big fan of whiskey cocktails (primarily sours and other drinks where the spirit is mixed with a non-alcoholic component, while still retaining its identity). She clearly likes the *taste* of whiskey–the grain, the caramel, the hints of baking spice–and would like to enjoy these in undiluted form, but, due to being unaccustomed to drinking spirits undiluted, finds the alcoholic sensation to intense, to the degree where it overwhelms precisely those things she seeks to enjoy, even with a mild Irish blend. Still she’s been trying to overcome that reaction precisely so she can enjoy those aspects more thoroughly.

    For that reason, incidentally (and also because I was a cockatail bartender, and quite good at it, if I may shamelessly brag), I take issue with the people in that linkspace above who say “lol of course alky-holl tastes bad, that’s why you mix it”. Lord knows mixing such with orange juice was the only way to choke down that floor-cleaner quality Barton vodka we used to drink my first year of university, but the existence of an entire class of cocktails such as the Manhattan or the Martini, which consist *only* of alcohol, gives lie to this notion. Clearly the goal here is not to hide the funk of bargain-bin rotgut, but to create a pleasing flavour combination by combining ingredients with complimentary qualities. And let me tell you, there are few things more pleasing than a well-made Manhattan.

    Of course, as you hint at above, there are other reasons for drinking both the bean lightning and the giggle juice which extend beyond the flavour. Most obviously, there are the physical effects. Coffee makes one feel awake, energized, and (provided one does not overindulge) improves concentration. The snifter sauce, in contrast, makes one feel relaxed, sociable, and warm and fuzzy inside (the “buzz”, as the yoof (of 1940) describe it). It is, as such, not surprising that both substances tend to be featured prominently in spaces intended for socialization, as such feelings contribute to an open and gregarious attitude which encourages precisely that. And this, I suspect, may be what people mean when they talk about consuming them for the purpose of “fitting in”; that is to say, it’s not a matter of drinking the same thing as everyone else for the purpose of engaging in gross conformity*, but rather altering one’s mood in such a way that one feels at ease and welcome in said place, rather than as an interloping stranger. Obviously it is folly to become too dependent on such substances (particularly alcohol) to enable one to engage with others on a meaningful level, but if used in moderation, they can indeed break down the social barriers we erect in order to defend ourselves against the slings and arrows of quotidian life.

    *That all said, as a bartender I have noticed plenty of people ordering a particular item simply because it’s popular (and presumably because the wide number of strangely-named cocktails can be overwhelming). Lord knows I’ve had plenty of customers who’ve ordered a mojito (one of my least favorite drinks to prepare, and a rather disappointing one for the effort involved) simply because they recognize the name and think a mojito sounds like a good thing to order. In such cases I often suggest trying a caipirinha instead, which is both easier to make and a superior beverage, and they usually seem happier for it.

  2. 2
    7:33 am, December 26, 2020

    Frimpinheap sez:

    thank you for the insight! It is certainly more than I got from the message heap I linked to, or from years of bad boring bar experiences, with people who don’t seem to be drinking alcohol for any reason or with any nuance, almost ritualistically. Such places where admittedly there is so much noise that nobody would ever be tossed out for getting slightly loud, but perhaps the left creature was banished simply for making a lousy case.
    I thought about having it express a desire to achieve buzzy status but then thought, perhaps erroneously, that was implicit in its expressed desire to “fit in.” Beyond that nobody in my direct experience has offered up much about why they prefer what they prefer. I can believe some do have reasons, and maybe it takes someone else’s experience to pull that information out of them.
    I have myself attempted to swallow alcohol-having fluids that were offered to me on at least three occasions, and I think it was only on the last that I sincerely wanted to have a positive reaction, and I still couldn’t, even though the drink was supposedly formulated in my presence to favor the non-alcoholic elements.
    Since I have had a driving license and access to automobiles I have had to purchase wine and spiky seltzer for other people, and it does frustrate me to observe the great amount of variety there is even in small trashy liquor stores, whereas non-alcoholic beverages are offered by a far smaller range of companies mostly copying each other, and often artificially infusing their products with caffeine, and lately using “covid” as an excuse to NOT offer the non-forced-caffeinated versions but that is a matter I cannot prove is directly related to my overall discontent.

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