I don’t see why parents don’t just grind up some Centrum Silver over a week-old cake to feed their incorrigible seedlings. That’s what this is; stale dessert with slaughterbreed livestock growth hormones injected in it. At least there’s a chance of finding an actual organic ingredient in a cake. I know regular cereal is kind of bland; I mean, it’s no chocolate crunchy tube for milk-sippin’ fun, but on the plus side it’s not totally disgusting. When’s the last time “FREE CLOCK” got a kid to buy anything? Oooh, but it’s a pirate clock!

Could you have the elephant turn just a couple more degrees to the right, please? Just with the name and all, you know. This doesn’t make me think of coffee beans, this makes me hope the elephant hasn’t been eating beans.
. . . . . . As long as this is going to be one of those entries,

I know you’re a melt risk, frosty, but without any self generated body-heat a pair of pants won’t kill you. You’re a snowman, after all, and men wear pants. Or trousers, I suppose, that being what someone who wears a top hat would say.

Jerry’s a notorious nudist, and not even coming at me down a hill, and couldn’t get away with that sort of thing. Although you could reasonably suggest Jerry is merely taking a fashion cue from his frequent accomplice, grey diaper mouse, considering that Jerry is making no effort to escape from Tom and seems quite gleeful at the thought of things to come, the plot is likely more sinister. Might there be brown gold in Tom’s future? And I’ve gone too far. Yet the going goes on.

This stupid gargoyle with strap-on wings can vomit fire and still wasn’t mighty enough to fight off the forces of front-cover coccyxality concealment while Nintendo of America was on the case.

Not that this solves… alright, you know, you’re really not helping, Mr. Arremer. If it was up to me you’d be wearing a barrel. Gwah, I can’t believe the game with the glistening, snarling, squatting naked body-builder unaffiliated with the WWF on the box wasn’t a big seller.

But as I was saying, sometimes a John Ashcroft job isn’t enough. It is the subject’s behaviour which must be modified. Either that or we get Garry Shandling a narrower chair.

And this! I find this video highly alarming. For the sake of simple decorum my animated gif takes an off-angle (a more developed decorum would dictate that I not use animated gifs at all), but I think you can see what’s going on. The man is a living geometry problem.

I don’t even want “G. Love” in a state near me.

…I think I need another week.