July 1, 2008
Another page of this, eventually, (or immediately) a bit dull, a bit redundant. I wanted to squeeze some more panels in there, but I know better than that by now. It’s good that I know better than something by now.
empanadas are not welcome here
A fugitive watermelon sez:
a. It may have been more economical to have simply transported our heros directly to the inner chamber rather than having them stop before another official, even if this one proved less obstructory. It’s nice to see an angled stairway shot, though.
b. Said inner chamber appears to contain a large, brightly colored elephant. How exciting!
c. Elpse’s second statement in the third-to-last panel is a bit difficult to read.
d. The mur-doors do indeed work a little better when seen in the process of opening, rather than simply blinking from closed to open. That said, I might recommend a slightly different motion effect, as this one could potentially be taken to be a hologram blinking out.
e. I was not aware that Toucan Sam had perished. Did his nose, in whom he had always placed his unwavering trust, repay him with treachery in the end?
Slengof sez:
a I suppose it’s a learning experience. One good thing is that the entire page can be cut without anyone noticing.
b There are actually two elephants!
c “It is okay, idn’t it! ‘Cuz I’m about to-”
I’ll definitely need some sense/legibility checker to work with me if I ever seriously expect to make a go of this. Or maybe I can just work for Highlights. Euh, even that may be setting my socks high. Mini-Page, here I come!
d I suppose that’s another thing to work on. The doors in general were such hassles I forgot about that one. Hopefully I’ll fix it later but I hate to delay this very important comment with that task.
e I think during a rather ill-advised trip to a marker factory Sam gradually fell into a confused trance-like state and suddenly recalled and discovered profound wisdom in the phrase “whoever smelt it dealt it” and was dreadfully ashamed and he knew the only way to fulfill the prophecy and reclaim his honor was to deal himself into a huge vat of purple.