July 15, 2008

 
I would like to tell you my participation in silly request drives was a single isolated occasion, but at this time the best I can say is that it was two isolated occasions. In the case reported upon today, I was not prompted, by Jumbi, for a subject matter demand, and so gave none, and expected, if anything, another nemitz. You just think you’re so popular, don’t you nemitz. Well ha fa, it isn’t you. Scoundrel. 
 

Lepidoptera members are notorious for ignoring akimbo warnings


I wonder why I haven’t been drawing the ears like that. I’d rather have ALPSHE seem related to NEMITZ than THE dOPE, which currently has more similar ears. It shouldn’t, but it does.

On a past occasion today’s culprit also made the first item described here and on yet another occasion several related characters (and others which aren’t, so much) on, eh, notebook paper, but I do declare the recent upgrade went splendidly. I used to draw proto-bimshwellians on my own notebook paper, but they tended to be tiny enough that the notes did not feel threatened. Anything bigger doesn’t fit in the margin-areas and looks like it’s in [sideways] jail. And verily, many of my charges deserve to be in jail… otay, it may have uses. Perhaps you’re wondering why you should flimb that anyone drew any of them. And in that event you shouldn’t! I realize there’s little interest factor here to anyone but me. Elpse is not insta-fave material. Drawing these will not get you popular. I ma(d)e pictures for children at some school somewhere through an odd setup you also shouldn’t concern yourself with, but I can tell you that something which looks like pikachu gets a lot more attention and acknowledgment than, say, a delphin with laser eyes. Inserting dumb nemitz seemed but the slightest bit feasible and I did not try.

Posting other persons’ drawings of one’s own character-things is inspired by something within one’s-self similar, I believe, to that which prompts one to announce newly borne relatives or newly purchased automobiles. Surely you could not give a boken whether someone else depicted a dope nor if one of my cousins suddenly had childrens (and I seem to recall that one did at some point). Yet people on the internet announce these things as if they are interesting. Typically, they are not. Yes, at last, someone has blown the proverbial jiffypop dome off of online diarists’ aptitude for delivering needless information. It may simply seem inconceivable that anyone else would not be megenthralled, but surely they aren’t. Curious things, these human beings. Thankfully I neither know anyone who’s pregnant nor plan to become so myself within the foreseeable future.



Meanwhile, back at the original topic, I was fascinated to observe Jumbi claim to not hate elpse and that this was despite the irrational behavior the creature is shown to exhibit. First of all, I’m just glad anyone likes Elpse at all.1 I don’t remember, but I suspect what is perceived as elp’s general temperament is, or was unintended. There’s a certain way you come across if your response to someone’s words involves repeating them back, and that’s the only way it can happen if I want anyone else to know what stupid NEMITZ is saying. For example, why is c3po irritable? Not for being a poorly designed robot constantly tossed into situations requiring reflexes and agility it was designed without, not for never getting respect from non-robots. Just because of r2d2’s attitude. Imagine if r2d2 had to be carried around and could smile after doing something stupid. Elp’s biggest character flaw is liking NEMITZ.


1 I don’t know if was a result of society’s decreasing tolerance toward things that look like Ninja Turtles in the late 90s, but I drew the “elpse” imp occasionally for several years before making these dumb comics, and it always struck me as the least likely to be liked of the repeat-fiends.


Hopefully the vaguely familiar snake will not be returning.

So it’s come to this: on Wednesday, July 16, 2008, at approximately 10:52 pm, eastern regular time, I downloaded six ninja turtle games in less minutes than that. It would have been more but I had a few already. I don’t sincerely expect to get great use out of them but the fact that I acquired them is, in itself, alarming, and would be so even in the event it was totally legal. If I had stayed at Catholic school this is the sort of thing I’d have to tell the priest through the magical absolving upright sin drainage grate. I thought I hated ninja turtles. Because remember there was that oh wow, see, I don’t even want to talk about them. I must hate them.



5 Responses
  1. 1
    3:38 am, July 16, 2008
    A great big phony sez:

    I think Elpse has improved considerably in the second chapter, having been allowed to express emotions beyond a perpetual state of hyper-peevishness. What’s more, even when peeved, our hero has since gained the ability to express said peevishness in a far wittier manner. Compare, for example, Elpse’s unfocused, largely impotent raging against kumquat with his performance during the confrontation with Fringo. Granted, the former had rather had Elpse over the table at the time (and simply appears an overall wilier opponent than Fringo), but Elpse could neverless have handled the first situation with considerably more finesse.

    Concerning the last item, can we count on the purple snake with the top hat to make another appearance in its stead?

  2. 2
    3:05 am, July 17, 2008
    Slengof sez:

    I think all the elpse scenes in pages 41 through 65 (the “end”) were just one enormous plothole the picture narrative had to slowly crawl across a narrow beam over to avoid falling in, an apparent result of me knowing what must happen and realizing that were all parties to act sensibly it could not happen. Only by employing strategic, baffling shifts in character could I get all the way through without throwing away too many of my astoundingly great jokes (back that mass up!). I am sometimes astounded at how many tv cartoons are powered entirely by this phenomenon (Superfriends thrives on it), most especially when time travel is involved, and also that whenever applicable I did not notice as a child. Seriously, Shredder, you’re going to tie up that lone turtle you caught defenseless? I just believed what I was told. There must be an orderly way to use this for good. The only villains that make sense are the crazy ones with crazy goals, like ones that want to steal the Eiffel Tower and make iron hats from it, because anyone who wanted to conquer the world or simply blow it up could have done it against the opposition in attendance. The primary difference is that the thing I have made isn’t zany enough that such discrepancies can be laughed off and features terribly inconsistent visuals. Maybe I can add a retcon brain disorder requiring that Elpse have touched a pine cone in the last nine minutes to sincerely pursue any violent resolutions. Page 65 almost avenged earlier wrongs, but I had to ruin it with the door. Those doors are trouble.

  3. 3
    10:39 am, July 17, 2008
    A terrible big phony sez:

    A simpler explanation might be to attribute the erratic behavior to excessive stress, which is known to prevent clear thinking in some circumstances. The uncanny atmosphere of Villa de Kumquat and (in the latery stages) the throbbing headache no doubt resulting from the lingering effects of the previous night’s crockery concussion likely didn’t help matters much, either.

  4. 4
    12:40 am, July 18, 2008
    Jumbi sez:

    That snake must be a really bad dancer, to recieve such a firm answer.
    I actually found R2D2 and C3P0’s antics humorous. Perhaps I’m just a violent person, to think these things.

  5. 5
    4:53 am, July 18, 2008
    Slengof sez:

    Phoncible: Maybe, maybe, but there’s no excuse for bad writing without focus. Nor is there for whining, also without focus.
    I should make more of an effort to mold my defeatist information output to fit the situation. The world is not, in fact, my therapist. Obviously. If it was I wouldn’t need one. Or I would but I wouldn’t tell it anything because it was what I wanted to complain about.

    Jumbcicle: It’s possibly a good dancer, for a snake, I think the monarch simply did not desire to have the snake dance and think it was doing anyone a favor. As if to say, “Snake, there are things I NEED, things I need done for me, and dancing is not one, certainly not from you. Snake.”
    I suspect C3po is my favorite Star Wars figure. That ridiculous robot is probably the only related character I have anything in common with. This was left unsaid because I guess it wasn’t negative enough.

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