But Flavor Flaiv, he’s the voice of a soda can or something. He’s not trying to sell his rumored rap skill anymore. Now it’s just
I actually didn’t know he was involved with this ad. I always saw it muted and was just bothered by the fact that the beverage receptacle appeared to be manipulating its detabbed region for the purposes of speech. Thankfully, 8 different youtube users have uploaded their own personal vanity-stamped editions of this ad, always being sure to note that Flavor Flav is involved.
Look at this, the guy is EMBARRASSED that his can is talking like Flavor Flav. You may think no, it’s just because he’s in a TV college lecture hall, but after the can is uncovered it talks in a different voice and nobody is bothered.
See? All better!
Regardless of Flav content, I would not drink out of a soda can with a mouth, much less through its mouth. How do I know it won’t drink me instead? And do I want to drink, regardless of what out of, a substance which imbued an inanimate aluminium can not just with the ability to speak, but through the rapid physical alteration of matter necessary for an aluminium framed orifice to move like a mouth? I should be glad it doesn’t have teeth. But I wonder if that’s only because it passes so much soda.
Oh, also, I saw an advertisement for The Mummy 3 which claimed it was “beyond imagination.” How did they think of it, then? They could not possibly have! Therefore, the story is true. And by extension, surely, the preceding The Mummy films (Abbott and Costello could not have met it otherwise). It also follows that fellow Brendar Fraser brainbusters Bedazzled, Monkeybone and Looney Tunes Back in Action are all true stories (and Daffy Duck is a real person), and so Space Jam is as well. And so I think it goes without saying that
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Pigbuster sez:
I am somewhat surprised that a pun was not used to describe how the beverage’s ingredients included “artificial Flavors and artificial Flavs”.
Though I suppose such a pun would imply that there are more than one Flavored Flavs in existence, and I’m not sure the world can make enough giant clock necklaces to accommodate such happenings.
Slengof sez:
Artificial Flavs. I will have to remember that for next time. I certainly hope the one manifesting itself in the soda can was fake.
Ehhh, sometimes I forget that the “flav” is pronounced “flayv,” because it just looks like flov, and also once I was watching some Spanish dubbed film on the Telefutura channel and Flavor Flav cameohno’d in a concert or nightclub scene or something and declared himself “Flavor Flov.”
A pair of tweezers sez:
Surely that’s more of a Flavor flahv. I know most North American dialects don’t distinguish between the two sounds (except before R), using either one or the other sound for both, but the distinction can drastically change the meaning in some languages (e.g. in German, “sie kommen” means “they’re coming” whereas “sie kamen” means “they came”).
The Person in the Mummy Trailer sez:
I HATE MUMMIES!
Slengof sez:
Tweez:
I may have considered flahv versus flov, but I forgot, probably not suspecting it would be a point of debate either way. Maybe I wanted it to be clear that I did not mean flaav, as in eh… well quite honestly what with all the different dialects and such I don’t know very much about the proper way of describing syllables in non-spoken discussion. All the words I would think of to represent the a sound, snack, thwack, vacuum, atc. can also be pronounced with an ah sound.There’s an entire section of linguistics devoted exclusively to explaining how vowels sound without actually making noise, and I tell you they don’t do it particularly well, at least from what I’ve looked up in three minutes.
Person:
I am none too fond of mummies myself. In general I don’t hear about them unless they are causing trouble. This is also true of many non-mummies.
Just one tweezer sez:
Do you by any chance mean the IPA? They use some strange symbols on occasion, but on the whole it’s more comprehensive and consistant than anything else. I do find the vowels rather harder to remember than the consonants, though; I can never seem keep those a’s of assorted fonts and angles of rotation straight.
Speaking of a’s, my first reaction would be to expect “flahV” and “flaav” to be pronounced identically. I’m assuming the latter is meant to be the “a” in “cat”, but I honestly can’t think of a good way to transcribe this. The aforementioned India Pale Ale uses æ to represent this (as it was in old English), but the average English speaker is far more likely to assume this to be prounced as “eh” or “ai”, and in some cases even “ee”. Rather a mess, I say. While I’ve met a number of less-than-phonetic languages in my time, English is the only one where any particular letter combination can be read in at least three different ways, each having an equal probability of being correct in any given word. And that’s without taking into account regional variations.
Half a tweezer sez:
…And let’s not forget that most the vowels in English aren’t even vowels at all, but weird dipthongs. Really, who thought this language was a good idea?
Slengof sez:
I did not see the IIIPA, but I did come across a series of pages about varying levels of “height” and “backness,” which seem to have some connection to where one’s tongue resides in one’s mouth at a time. I can’t figure that out without reaching into my mouth and feeling around and that seems like a horrible idea. In my experience it has also to do with the shape of one’s word-orifice. And then there’s apparently “nasalisation” and “phonation” and it all seems a bit excessive for just talking about dumb old Flavor Flave. Diphthongs I decline to discuss at this time altogether.