January 15, 2019
yep it’s true, you knew it, you know it. Strike up the band, batten down the hatches, run for the border, hang your stocking and say your prayers: cheap chicken is back. you thought i was gone for good! you doubted i would survive the results of your vile treachery. you thought you could make me pay full price. you thought you could bully me into adequately seeing to my own needs. just watch me bid $1 on the price is right. watch me opt for ups ground shipping and save two dollars to get my item three days late. you will believe one chicken can stand up for the difference between a “use by” and “sell by” date. and now y’ain’t NEVAH gettin ridda me! That’s right, cheap chicken is BACK and EVERY DAY!
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huh whuh a-HWuh?! What’s happening? What’s going on? Oh?
OH? Just who do you think you are dealing with? How do you intend t
Attention citizens: The cruel sorcerer from the outworld, Cheap Chicken, has been cast back into its circular orange interdimensional portal and the portal sealed by our nation’s finest counter-sorcery experts, who guarantee the portal will not open again for a thousand years,
provided the 8 chicken cubes are not compromised or removed from their shrines. Return to work, go on about your lives, our long national nightmare is over. Rest safely knowing cheap chicken will NEVER be back.
6 Responses
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Bad cow sez:
I wonder how you were so enticed to patronize this cheap chicken provider!
Charmlatan sez:
At Bad Cow:
Someone hasn’t had rotisserie chicken before. What a life I envy!
I’m afraid the soda is too far gone. Chicken-induced broth can only do so little.
Frimpinheap sez:
The fried chicken is not bad, better than what is offered at the pricier competitor store “Fresh Market,” but that has never cost $4.99! The rotisserie ones even i think have been $5.99, or $7.99 if you wanted them (i think) organic for at least the past year but the sign only disappeared this month.
Charmlatan sez:
Tom, you greedy kook!
Purplespace sez:
And I thought we would have to go on some prolonged adventure to find the 8 chicken cubes of legend, but we can just buy them at the store all packaged together.
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