addendum: Well that was some self-indulgent rubbish, wasn’t it! I think my point was that I’m not trying to fool anyone (not anymore, certainly), I just like using different names. Mmmf. Ehhh.

I tried to make a list of all the zany aliases I’ve used on the internet (nevermind why), but then I started fussing over the standard which denotes something as an “alias” and not merely a name I registered for some reason. Obviously, one I made 50 posts with counts, and something which I only used to get at member-exclusive research data (comic torrents) doesn’t, but what about something that left three posts before venturing onward or that I just thoughtlessly typed into some hobo’s weblog for a single comment’s purposes? There were some which I remembered thinking of but couldn’t be certain I had used for anything, and told myself I would have to run searches on them to identify their statuses. And then I started to get sad. And then I had to look up whether “statuses” was a valid plural form, and I’m still not sure that it is. It’s not easy being whoever I am.

The tentastic list, pending revision:

alamince bisquiskis
cupcake oremitz
ears macinstrudel/eels macinstrudel
elfibrax
evil mittens
freepfop frupidor
frimbip frudrulpus
gilgwarfpisc
glufobix
jennifer talia (sigh)
kesglarbix
kuzard kunglegorp
lelelunflurng
lenguid elpmrip
lenswot
molfarm duvalier
oglethorpe marinara delirium
olmec templebury II, thaddeus wilhelm
poncharillo
quilfip unidar earvanbib glinkob
rarlofax
rinslid
roneldo
squong
transfestunerix
ubernerd
umiliphus
volcabbage
yimpinkilp
Only 29? I’m disappointed. I would explain some, but then I’d have to explain all of them, and you don’t need that in your life. I know, I already typed and read it. I have observed that a disproportionate number of the names end in “x.” This doesn’t even include
anabealix, lerix fargeptrix, ottisferasuttix and vristax. Perhaps I sold fake crotch steroids in a past life.

What is important is that none of them at all resemble the name I have to sign documents with. I wish my name was Santiago. Or Agatha. Santiago Agatha Fogerty.

By the beyond, John Fogerty… that guy is so fogerty, I can’t even stand it. He is the most fogerty person I can think of. I do not name this instance of my hypothetical self in honor of him.