Tumbling up on a previous item,
this is from the deviant art website. It was also a featured object shown to everybody [who cared to be aware] and had 1119 users proclaim it “favorite” as of the time when I saw it, august 2011. Observe the system drawing people in: putting simplistic faces on inanimate objects, particularly the big arc mouth with perfectly circular black dot eyes at the ends. Anything drawn like this is immediately marketable, especially food. Can you write the letter U and a period? Can you draw a square? Congratulations, you created HappyBread® Brands LLC INC. Here’s 3 millions dollars. Don’t put ears on it, though; that’s copyright infringement against CatLoaf, the exclusive intellectual property of Bananazone International Holdings, who get to sue you now. Don’t put eyeshadow and white makeup on it, either; that’s DeathLoaf, the inspired imaginatorneering of Gatherib Wendlemeyer, praise be upon her, a talented genius prodigy 17 year old graphic professional designist from Seattle who gets to order cronies to taunt you on twitter forever and then sue you also. Um I think this is art theft u guys???? I actually have total confidence in my statement but this insecurity is a total put on guys?????? Idek is it??????????????????????? Guys. It’s like, I just.
Watch this, here be a horrid picture of something that I ate, because I compulsively photographed my food for a few years, to assist the coroner.
Here it is again with that one face drawn on it. Notice how it’s still ugly, but it has that face on it. This is “cute” to some people. Specifically, the ones who spend $30 on an ugly flat-colored short sleeved shirt with a slogan or a logo on it. Imagine if you drew this face vomiting a rainbow that also had this face on it. Much like the my little poster bodonies, it’s really easy and really popular.
What is my problem? Can’t I just be happy for other people’s success? Clearly I can’t (and it is worse when it is people I have met in person but do not have any financial connection to). That isn’t real success, anyhow; the person did three other nearly identical scenes, and almost nobody who looked at this one looked at the others, and even less looked at the things which weren’t this. Why build people up to such a ludicrous degree like that just to immediately chop them down with your negligence? That’s rude. Why not make an effort at an earnest, ongoing appreciation, or, if you don’t truly think it is special, not pretend it’s some historical masterpiece? Because those who appeared were someone else’s crony. They like ugly, easily produced artwork, but only if the right person tells them to.
Anyhow, this was meant to transition into my real point, which is
Hey later, man. I’m eatin’ a celery stick.
That is a good reason. Very well, you are excused. Who is still here?
I have to go, too.
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PurpleSpace sez:
Of course, some food already comes with smiley faces directly applied. Apparently, goldfish crackers proclaim that the fact their food smiles back is supposed to be a selling point for the product line.
Ehhhward Whoson sez:
I think you’re forgetting an important aspect of those happy faces: Namely, their resemblance to Ãœ, which is ironically their opposite. We must all cringe in remembrance of Bob. Üüü!
Rororivis sez:
purplesp:
I only eat goldfish out of my 1980s era Soviet-fearing bomb shelter, which includes a supply of Goldfish that predate the creation of smiles. They are terribly stale but such discomfort prevents them from becoming happy.
eh who:
I didn’t think Bob was known for smiling, even in an emoticon-like manner. Or does the U in this case represent a nose? Type is a powerful and easily abused thing.
Bea Samms sez:
Your ideas intrigue me, I would like to subscribe to your news letter, and JQ’s creamy logs.
Rororivis sez:
I send but one newsletter per month, to an undisclosed postal address. Whoever determines the address and locates the letter may read it. This month the letter is H. Logs are only available for premium subscribers.
Prescription Pudding Pinged With:
[…] them fresh on both sides rather than printing the same image twice but it is also badly drawn food with ugly faces which I am against even on material that looks […]