Fleeplezeep.

Motor-driven lawnmower-ing is annoying to be aware of and about as fundamentally justifiable as lawns in themselves, but weed-whacking can occasionally be tolerable if an observer pretends the object carried is actually a [rather loud] metal-detector. What are you doing! There is no treasure buried in my yard! You look silly! Obviously this is even better if the one who whacks weeds happens to be dressed like a space alien. They studied us from space but didn’t quite figure everything out! Comical misunderstandings! Alternately, the whackist might be a ghostbuster specializing in cricket ghosts.

Also, apparently “weed whacker” is a brand name and the device I speak of in its generic form is actually a string trimmer. Why didn’t I know that prior to now? And if my circumstances prevented me from encountering anyone who could clue me to my ignorance, surely I ought to have thought my whacky terminology was needlessly wacky.

Hey, I made a funny.

I dispute that the motion picture Mamma Mia will have me dancing in the aisles, if indeed that’s what the opinion-less sentence fragment is accusing. I have never “danc[ed] in the aisles” one time in my entire life. And were that to inexplicably attempt to change, it would surely fail, as none of the cinemaplexoids I see around here even have aisles. The possibility that this might merely suppress the urge until the next occasion on which I encountered an aisle, such as at a supermarket or Gilligan’s Aisle, at which point I would begin flubbaging about in a most embarrassing and ungraceful fashion, that is reason enough to never see the film. I do not need that in my life at this point.

BEST GAS. Do not be fooled by that impostor, GOOD GAS, and I needn’t acknowledge the shameful pretender DECENT GAS. The gas here is better than all gas elsewhere.

Appropriately, it is now open for gas. I tell you, business was slow at Best Gas before it started selling gas. People just didn’t get it.

From earlier: I will tell you something possibly interesting later.

Ehhh, no, apparently I have to go somewhere today, too, so I will not be telling you anything.

There is important business to tend at. Those people are lined up and this ad was filmed a week ago. Imagine how many are there now! I shall have to make many challenges.