October 16, 2008


This could be the most important decision you ever make.

I, personally, have a policy of never accepting waterfowl from persons who willingly wear red buckled boots. Conversely, when I am offered red and/or buckled boots by a duck, I generally turn down the offers.


Because I insist on doubting myself, I watched another dreadful aspiring president debate. Somehow much of what discussion there was regarded how many taxes a plumber named Joe would be required to pay and whether he’d be cold at night with winter coming and whether he has enough fiber in his diet.

As I understand it (and you may find that I do not), plumbers work out pretty well with the dollars. Among professions popularly regarded as “blue collar,” whatever that means, they make kind of a lot of money. The only time I knew of a more lucrative like-hued collar it was on Scooby Doo. I’m not filled with sympathy that this one will have to wait a bit longer to buy some company. Additionally, the most successful plumbers often go on to highly profitable careers in fields such as turtle stomping and brick punching. Some discover that they earn enough floating gold currency to last several lifetimes.

One of my major problems with the democrat club, and why I can never fully assure myself that they’re the best we can get is their willingness to play along when the opposition makes huge deals of asinine childish nonsense like this. “Joe, I’m talking to you! I won’t make you pay any taxes ever! And gays have to wear beekeeper suits and you can keep your land mines out all year and I’m appointing St. Francis of Assisi as secretary of public nudity and making Mexico illegal.” I’m trying to wrap this up because I want to take a nap.

It has been pondered who will portray Joe the Plumber in an inevitable Saturday Night Thursday sketch about the debate which I rather wish I wasn’t in such a position to actually understand. Shelly Goldstein, who I don’t know at all but whose name I think sounds kind of funny suggests John Goodman in the very last sentence, but knowing that show, it is my belief that Joe will play himself and be rather awkward once the “wow! That’s the real Joe the Plumber!” excitement wears off. And then why even live when we can’t have that anymore?

By the wuh, I hate those ads for the Thursday supplement always showing Tina Fey pretending to be Sarah Palin pretending to play a flute. Hey, citizens! Tina Fey will not be appearing on the Thursday night version! She’s not actually employed by the program anymore, hasn’t been for rather some time, and I doubt they’re going to waste such an apparently big draw on a variant of the program less people know about! Oh, hey, and have you seen some of the sketches they’ve been putting on after Tina gets out of there? I interrogated the one other person I am in contact with who watches awful comedy shows, and she seemed not to have. And so I said to that “verily, a ninety-minute length may reasonably be perceived as superfluous” because I’m even phonier in person, and I optimistically pondered such an eventual horrible presentation that I at last could have no more of it. And then NBC invented a version one third in length just so I couldn’t say that was a good idea first. So I’m not telling anybody about my great idea for a pumpkin flavored dessert.

In Canada, I’m glad Stephen Harper was elected to be the prime minister again. It took me years to remember his name.

6 Responses
  1. 1
    2:59 am, October 17, 2008

    A traffic accident sez:

    I couldn’t help but imagine Joe the Plumber as a character from one of my student films known as Joe-Who-Picked-Up-A-Toilet-And-Threw-It-In-The-Garbage. It should be noted, however that the latter Joe was actually a lumberjack by profession, despite his notorious relation to certain be-plumbed installations.

  2. 2
    12:06 pm, October 18, 2008

    Eesklipisk sez:

    That does not sound like a Joey who is easily gotten dead.
    I must reiterate my desire to see more of your films, if I rightly assume that Joe-who-etc. is actually shown to personify his own complicated name, and perhaps still otherwise.

  3. 3
    1:37 am, October 19, 2008

    A terrific accent sez:

    Joe is not seen performing the particular act for which he is named in the film itself; however, he is seen performing another, far more ambitious toilet-throwing feat in what is arguably the film’s most idiotic sequence.

    Most of my films aren’t really worth seeing, to be honest, and even with the few that might be, I’ve been as of yet unsuccessful in compressing them to a file size YooToob finds acceptable without a correspondingly unacceptable loss in quality. This is especially problematic with regard to anything assembled in AVID (e.g. most of the quarter-decent ones), as this program doesn’t seem to play very well with windows-based file formats. The abovementioned film also has the additional problems of violating You-tube based length requirements (but also not being long enough to justify splitting into two parts), and being plagued with very poor sound in parts, something which I’ve been telling myself for over a year now that I’d eventually [attempt to] fix, but have yet to summon up the motivation to do. And even if I did, I suspect my computer may be far too senile to run the necessary programs by this point anyway.

  4. 4
    12:43 pm, October 21, 2008

    Eesklipisk sez:

    I have seen full 21 minute episodes of things in one piece on the site, but I admit I don’t know how that’s arranged. I only ever uploaded one object, and verily, just preparing it was harder than I felt it needed to be. Flv is sort of screwy by my reckoning. On a totally unrelated occasion I attempted to export a flash cartoon to good old “normal” avi and oh, still, what trouble! So I shan’t further remark on this issue as if I know what I’m talking about, because I know that I do not.

  5. 5
    10:04 pm, October 23, 2008

    A. Hamster sez:

    I watched Saturday Night Live last weekend.

    The whole thing.

    Or, as much of it as I could stand–given my familiarity with the quality of SNL’s sketches, we DVR’d it and fast forwarded when a sketch passed through that event horizon of intolerability.

    If CNN is to be believed, something like 17 million people tuned in to catch the opening act. However, only 12 million stuck around ’till Weekend Update. Unless this can be explained away by mass hypnosis or the like, I can only say that SNL displays a particular kind of genius for alienating potential new viewers.

  6. 6
    10:27 pm, October 23, 2008

    Eesklipisk sez:

    It’s unfortunate you had to come across this after further Thursday events contradicted my prediction, with the addition of Will Ferrell no less. But what a way to show confidence in the current cast that was! Ha ha, I can get bitter both ways! I still win.

    Most curiously, I did not see Saturday’s show. I was at some peculiar amusement attraction called “Haunted Graveyard” which concluded at midnight and was forty minutes of drive away from my home. I missed reveling in the awkwardness of unnecessary guest stars. I’d trust CNN to know the viewer total estimate if indeed I was capable of trusting a news outlet which thought that was important to tell people.

feed comments.

Sorry, the comment form is apologizing at this time. Which probably means I got tired of deleting robot comments off this post. It is unfortunate, but generally very few actual people have anything to say to me.

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