October 21, 2008

In person I manage to pull off a fairly convincing impression of a rational, receptive, minimally delusional human being.

I will be at the Boston Comic convention gathering during some part of Sunday, Nobember twocend. Normally when somebody says it will “be at” a dopey convention that means the person is planning to sell junk or wear a silly costume or fight someone else from the internet (skip to the word “commissioner” if you’re curious), but I’m just going to be there, and that is all. I will see if that is an environment in which I would be comfortable shilling at a cardboard table for five hours and or not buying other amateur rubbish. It will be interesting to be surrounded by and not talking to a completely different class of people. At least, that’s what I’m hoping. I have read recently that “normal” people go to conventions now. In that case it will be just like going to an indoor Six Flags park. Instead of nerds with interests too arcane for me to understand and play Warcraft 8 hours a day will be loud fratty megaoafs who who like stuff I’ve heard of and know I hate and play Halo 12 hours a day. And instead of enormous queues before massive diaper-restraint contraptions I’ll never ride there will be enormous queues before little desks where people sign their names across the covers of lame visual fragmented self-narratives of angry black-shadowed muscly figures I’ll never read.

And so if that’s not how it is, imagine how disappointed I’ll be!

Here’s my impression of the comic-book store I went to [a few months ago]:

Hulk hulk muscles muscles muscles shiny muscles batman hulk superman shiny muslces sex hulk sex batman muscles sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex guns superman archie. If I had been surrounded by this twenty years ago I never would have wanted to make comics. Given my rate of output that would probably be in my own best interest. The Hulk is sort of like Ronald Reagan in that I didn’t know anybody liked him until a few years ago.

I’ve given no shortage of words complaining about horrid, simplistic, over stylized rubbish artwork being the only alternative to utter lack of effort, but even the “good” artists, with technically sound abilities can’t resist putting hard black shadows on everything and then adding ridiculous gradient highlights and occasional cheap photoshop glow effects. No balance at all. I have never in my life seen an actual object lit that way.
And almost every book was in its own sealed plastic bag, which made it rather difficult to judge one by anything but its cover. Are these comics or Kraft singles? I didn’t take any pictures because I could tell someone was sensitive / watching me.

I was mildly interested by a few outdated or Europy-looking things on a really high shelf, but I didn’t feel like individually asking to look at each, especially knowing that the chance was I wouldn’t buy one anyway. And you might wonder why I went in there at all if I had that attitude. I have a tendency to forget that things of substance rarely come for less than ten dollars and that I really hate spending money that isn’t someone else’s.

I like a good batman occasionally but I don’t know that I could take six batmen every month who may or may not exist in the same alternate-alternate universe with each other. And wouldn’t you know it, Hobbit Bat-Man isn’t even among them (though there supposedly is an imp “Bat Mite” who exists in addition to normal Bat-Man). As long as we’re on Earth 79 or whatever, can’t we also pretend that the person who does Bat-Man sort of things is Giraffe-Man or a magical cybernetic watermelon which isn’t a Man at all? (answer next week)

All the Japanese material was in a single column of shelves apart from other columns of shelves. While it was as banal by its own standards as the American booklings, the segregation still seemed a tad nationalistic.

And beside that was the “adult” column. And by adult it means pornographic, but adult takes less time to type.

While no doubt the dominant fashion trends and hands-free Riverdance inspired battle techniques among non adult female comic characters are designed to set someone off, that’s not a guaranteed thing, obviously. But regardless of that I don’t understand the point of pornographic comics anyhwa. The pictures are tiny, right? And comics are expensive, if you buy many of them. How much use are you really going to get from one issue? The need is recurring, and rather more frequently than once a month, is it not? I’m not saying it’s a stupid idea; it seems to do decent business without harming anyone, and without insulting the intelligence of society as a whole due to its inhibited promotion, so obviously it’s a good idea. I just don’t understand. Additionally, I neither expect nor request that you lend me insight here should you have any (though certainly you are free to do so if the inclination visits you).

I’m not opposed to the idea of content regarded as “explicit” being crucial or at least relevant to a plot, or perhaps, however it might happen, being interesting just on its own, but that’s not what I assume I’ll be getting into when I see a big stack of books stuffed together for such and such a reason.

4 Responses
  1. 1
    9:09 am, October 22, 2008

    The Bogey Man sez:

    Boston, eh? I wouldn’t mind being in right now, myself. Autumn was always a good season in that city. Actually, now that I think about it, I could be there right now, as my university invited me to come to an alumni reunion which should indeed be takng place about nowish. I had actually thought about attending somewhat (even though I’ve only been out for a year); alas, transport and lodging would have required me to give out a far greater number of monies than currently stand at my disposal. So is it ever.

    Considering your own trip, I think you actually should consider fighting someone from the internet there, possibly while wearing a silly costume. I recommend that pig-smashing fellow who sometimes comments here, myself.

    Re pr0no-graphic comics, well, considering that pornography itself is based upon the idea of fantasies, it does not strike me as at all unusual that creators thereof might seek for it a medium well-associated with depicting the fantastic. I imagine the two would probably compliment each other quite well. Concerning the relative infrequency of such a work’s publication, on the other hand, I should assume that consumers thereof general have large selection of alternative pornographic delights to occupy them in the mean time. Just because one enjoys Cocoa Puffs doesn’t mean they serve as one’s sole means of sustenance.

  2. 2
    12:56 pm, October 22, 2008

    Eesklipisk sez:

    Witness for the defense:

    Oh, right! There’s porn on the internet! The one thing everybody agrees on. More than enough of which that I can have come across it by accident on multiple occasions. I don’t know where my conclusions come from sometimes. I think I was imagining a hypothetical hopeless person with a ludicrous inheritance and thirty or so subscriptions tackling a different passion adventure each day. You should know that despite anything on this site resembling evidence of such a thing I am not that person. Although I have encountered a person through connection with the “autism pilot program” who it would not surprise me to learn this about. He also gives a decent headlock without even having to be asked.

    In other topics, do you mean that I should fight the pig smasher or merely dress up as the pig smasher?

  3. 3
    7:49 pm, October 22, 2008

    Humphrey Bogart sez:

    I was primarily suggesting you fight the pig smasher, but also dressing as such while you do so may prove helpful as a confusionary tactic, giving you a distinct advantage during the brawl.

  4. 4
    12:01 pm, October 24, 2008

    Eesklipisk sez:

    Well, he’d better be there because I can’t dress like him until I find out what he’s wearing, and for the moment I can’t think of an appropriate way to ask that.

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