April 13, 2009

People are fatter than ever, people have less money than recent evers. The solution?

Enormous, ten dollar bags of Reese Peanut Butter cups. (The Connecticut sales tax rate is six per-cent, which you’ll know adds another 59 cents to the 9.78 blurrily seen here if you’re better at maths than I am). Enhancing them in this way might be our only hope of stopping Terminator peanut butter cups from the future.

A counterpart quantity container for M&Ms, in addition to the old sizes still available. Because it was decided too much shelf space was going to competing brands at this Wal Mart.

Ooah. I have never seen an mnm bag that big before. That is atrocious. The only thing I like about this set up is that it makes the awful, awful M&M “characters” appear to be in jail.

Unfortunately, their relations with teeth, hair, occasional lips and mustaches are yet believed to be at large. That is assuming “large” is still adequate for their consumptive requirements.


I despise the teeth on computer-made people. In actual cartoon drawing sometimes it serves an expression better for no teeth to be visible but shrek and all the fish and amazin’ adventurin’ celebrity-voiced zoo crews always have full sets of evenly sized and spaced grey teeth. It is even worse, the more stylized they are. We get these enormous, barely detailed heads with little mouths full of tiny perfect teeth. Uggggghhhhh somehow the natural distance fading and blending doesn’t happen with teeth. No matter how far away they are you still see every tooth. That isn’t necessarily the case right just now but fortunately it’s creepy enough just that there are teeth and that I see them.

I felt dirty when I bought a “medium” bag back in December. But 42 ounces, that’s like eating a cat. A cat made of chocolate. True enough, after seeing this I proceeded to procure and purchase a 24-count box of Coky Cola cans, which it is not at this time my intention to share, but I don’t expect to drink them all before August. Somebody somewhere buys 42 oz of m&ms and eats 42 oz of m&ms in the same day (perhaps in Oz), and was getting worn out opening three or two bags.

Truly, ’tis a great time to be alive.

2 Responses
  1. 1
    9:19 pm, April 13, 2009

    Pigbuster sez:

    Given my experience and, if things don’t go wrong in 2 years, bachelor’s degree in the 3d-animatorly arts, the teeth problem intrigues me. My best guess is that teeths and tooths are some of the easiest things to make in the complex task of head-making. They never move on their own, they just stay in the mouth, with the lips doing all the work. Because they don’t move, people can make them as strangely well defined as they feel is necessary, which is usually too necessary.

    One of the weirdest things about the Three-Dee renderings nowadays is the unsavory mix of realism and toonism. The renderers nowadays are capable of imitating real life, calculating the rays of the sun as they bounce off of every surface, giving color to everything. This is fine for environments with realistic flora and/or fauna, but the problem is everyone does the exact same thing when the fauna in question is a walking globe with feet. The globe will have realistic specular shading and perfectly modeled individual teeth*, and if they’re wearing clothes those clothes will be given high-resolution textures showing off every bit of the textile (with full bumpmapping, too), and the result is a wholly unholy beast. Imagine Warner Brothers cartoons except instead of flat grey, Bugs’s’s fur was made of a realistic fur texture.

    The attempt to make things this real is valid if one is trying to make characters fit in with real footage, such as your Gollums your King Kongs. But… that’s just not what’s happening with these M-folk. Their world is real footage, but they really don’t need to be fit into it as well as possible. Do they want people to think “Wow, Eminems in real life!”? Suspension of disbelief is not necessary for a 20 second advert that is just going to be selling something at its end (or, as in this case of living product, entirely throughout). We do not need jarringly well-rendered moustaches, thanks.

    The Pixar people are always roundly congratulated for how wet they can get a rat’s fur to look. But… they aren’t doing this by hand, the computer is. They’re just putting the fur in the water and hey look. I actually think Pixar’s stuff looks good, but the thing is that they can make it look that good because they have enough money to have enough time to spend on making it look that good.
    I feel like There are more interesting things for 3d cartoons to do than slightly unsettling attempts to imitate reality, but no one is doing those things.

    Mehhhggghh I can’t believe I wrote all this, especially because I should be writing about something else.

    * Truthfully, teeth aren’t made individually unless it’s necessary. The full set of teeth is sculpted out of one shape, which is a little weird, I suppose. The sad thing is that even after all of what I’ve said, 2-dimensional teeth can be just as creepy as their depth-blessed cousins.


    (I would have it so that image was implanted within my text, but I’m not sure how. Maybe only you have such powers).

  2. 2
    11:28 pm, April 13, 2009

    Lemphlyn sez:


    The person who makes fun of your name has also experienced difficulty posting images. I suspect this is related to not being logged in, as I cannot post images like that either. I suppose I should provide a link to the “register” page for if people want to do that, but otherwise I am not bothered editing posts with image urls to actually show the images. Normally. I’m still considering that one.

    I try not to single out Pixar as much these days as I used to, despite the cars and the likelihood that every other company is ripping them off chief among most else. Because one of the eight or so people who will talk to me on the internet really liked that robot movie.

    There is definitely a disconnect with professional animators between making distinctive, fakey characters and needing to impress everybody with their fancy computers. (I hope you weren’t mad about what I tried to do with that paper airplane picture; I can assure you I used the same six year old $200 junkotron as I normally do) Yet these 3d movies are almost certainly cheaper* to make than the old way, with ink and paint and such. As far as me is concerned it’s another tacky cost-cutting measure by businesses, and not even just big ones. I used to think rotoscoping was “cheating” but I’d gladly take that over more shiny 600 frame-per second madagascarbage.

    I am told that Japanese anime is ridiculously cheap* compared to when Americans do it just because they don’t spend so much time ‘tweening and aren’t afraid to loop a walk-cycle or reuse a transformation sequence. Also, no lip-to-word synching whatsoever. And that’s just finkledy with me.

    *I have verified none of this.

    >>2-dimensional teeth can be just as creepy as their depth-blessed cousins.

    This is true, but there’s always a chance the artist will forget to draw them. Teeth would have to be deliberately removed from a 3d model. Unless, as was the case of the awful French Donkey Kong cartoon, different animation crews used different versions of the main characters, only some of which had teeth. Or, or the apes found their dentures uncomfortable and sometimes took them out between shots in the same scene.

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