My my me, where is the time going?
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I thought it was bad when I saw Halloween M&Ms for sale on August 7…
But Comedy Central set me straight by showing a Hanukkah movie less than two weeks later. Or the Hanukkah movie, I guess.
The MnMs might not seem so bad when I show them to you on September 7, but that doesn’t happen until Monday, and by then we will all have forgotten about this. One hopes.
Why is the general trying to sell me automobile insurance? Shouldn’t he be advising the president on military affairs?
Why is he hiking through antarctica in such crucial times of war? No wondering we can’t win this.
Now he’s in a totally different office! Once again, with his website up. He probably does that on all the computers at Best Buy, too. Either he’s a lunatic who wanders around and poses in other people’s offices or he’s a decadent scoundrel who buys all new stuff every week. He is competent enough to change his telephone number, so I must assume the latter case. He’s a FIVE star general, too. That rank isn’t even AVAILABLE most of the time. This guy’s been around and done it all. “It all” evidently comprising less crucial situations than I previously thought. Why, how did it come to this?
Hey, general, I’m pretty sure it’s a crime to transport penguins out of their natural habitat. Not that you can leave the country in your automobile, but I’m sure you can go somewhere; otherwise, why would you be trying to? Aside from that you’re crazed with greed and cold, I mean. Maybe he thinks if he appears with something cute I’ll purchase insurance from him. Eh, no dice, pallywag. I only buy insurance from ducks, cgi lizards and cartoon lady secret agents wearing latex bodysuits.
Here he is yet again, standing on a box, harassing some guy. How did the general even get into the military? He’s much too tiny to pass even the most rudimentary basic training screenings.
When things get tricky, when The Law comes on to the general’s schemes, he hides out in
this Doom textured igloo from the penguin he abducted, I assume murdered and assumed the identity of. Although now that I think of it, based on the location of his summer villa, his stature and his lack of morals, it is equally feasible that the general was a penguin in disguise all along (possibly Tennessee Tuxedo, which would explain his flightless, flighty nature and access to the Commander), selling dubious insurance, running from town to town duping unsuspecting humans, merely trying to finance his perpetual travel expenses. Always on the move, always on the run. The tragedy of The General.
I can’t imagine why he’s scared of us.
A bimbo sez:
I always thought it odd when folks try to declare Buster Keaton’s The General as of the great works of silent cinema. It simply isn’t. I suspect the drive to have it recognized as such probably stems from the fact the fellow silent legend Charlie Chaplin has several widely recognized feature-length classics to his name, but Keaton has none, which his fans find a great injustice. However, the fact is that however talented a filmmaker Keaton may have been, he simply did not make any truly memorable feature-length works. His true strength lay in the short film–and indeed his shorts are far superior to those of Chaplin, demonstrating above all a much better grasp of the potential of the cinematic medium as a separate entity from the stage, as well as managing to feel surprisingly more modern in tone despite their rather advanced age. His silent features, on the other hand, all feel rather diluted, padded, and more or less forgettable, on the whole. The format simply wasn’t a good one for him, and trying to pretend that it was by holding up a so-so film and declaring it to be Keaton’s masterwork isn’t ultimately doing him any favors.
Thomas Hardy sez:
HARDY-HAR-HAR.
Finkeldey Fabrax sez:
Control yourself, Mr. Hardy! Our bimbo makes a very good point, regardless of how funny you think it is!
The bow tie fool sez:
Though I am best known for my splendid bow tie, it is important to remember that I also have fine feet.
Finkeldey Fabrax sez:
That is the most punchable comment I have ever received.
Pigbuster sez:
The “The General” you speak of was an insurance baron I had not heard about in all of my days, up to about 30 seconds ago as of this writing, upon which an advertisement detailing his scheme to sell insurance by way of pizza delivery somehow popped upon my teevee screen.
Clearly, he’s still at large, though the current status/location of his avian abductee is unknown. Be on the lookout.