I need to get my priorities in order for a number of reasons. Case in point: ordering my priorities is not a priority.

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It’s too cold in here to use my computer today. I… I’m going to try to read a book…

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Here’s a long boring one (page entry, not a book. I wrote that up there later. I don’t even know I am going to write that yet), just like the good old days, if we insist on classifying the old days as good.

It had BETTER be free if there’s a 1 in 5 chance you won’t know. I’m guessing the oblivious Tyrannosaurus is still on the payroll somehow. And Tom Ridge as well. It is not worth noting that green was bad before but now is good, yet I did so anyhow. It IS worth noting that these things aren’t really free, apart from a seven day trial (which is about the same as American Online declaring itself a free service because it mailed out those little discs), and that every page of the site includes a small print disclaimer stating, in essence, that nothing it will tell you for that nonfreeness has any value and that it additionally will not be held responsible for its deceit and uselessness.

Don’t bother reading that. That’s not why it’s there. In summary, it’s not about helping you with your credit, it’s a resource for teachers and people who write about credit and need stuff to refer to. The responsibility-shirking slackers of the internet need not bother. Which makes me all the more curious as to why this was advertising on Galbadia Hotel, the video game/anime mp3 archive.

But what about the score? The only thing it said was free was the credit score! That is true. You can sign up, attempt to get your score, and forget about it. Which also works well, because you’ll be billed automatically as a “member” once the trial ends. Even if you remember to cancel, you’ll still be charged a dollar and the priceless hassle of calling a corporate toll-free number as a screw you processing fee. Although the sources the page the page I link to didn’t bother linking to suggests you can’t even SEE your score unless you give up the membership fee. They have to pay for their ads, after all. And Ben Stein has to eat. One assumes.

Yes, Ben Stein again! As I understand it, he was fired from his job at the New York Dispatch for this sort of thing, though you wouldn’t guess it by the pudgy smirk he has in all of these. He doesn’t even look human anymore. Gosh, he reminds me of someone…

What a greedy, selfish beanst. It can’t stand the idea that I’m complaining about someone else.

Ben Stein is almost a muppet. A wrinkly, Yoda style muppet. Except instead of teaching you about the force he tries to sell you a free midi-chlorian report, when everybody knows the only FREE midi-chlorian report is issued annually by the galactic gargonian skrimpfly flambarrrrrrRRRRRRRRRGH “wookieepedia” is awful!

He’s not even necessarily promoting the thing. He’s just smugging it up off to the side. I don’t know WHY he has to do this after appearing in promotions for both Direc TV AND Comcast, competing companies. Clearly, he wins either way. Next he’s going to show up in an ad promoting not clicking ads.

Look at that! He has a CLIP BOARD! In these days of high-tech doohickery, you can’t go wrong with a clipboard. That means he has important information! It’s not for you, though. I checked, the free trial does not grant you clip board access. Also, I hear that printing Ben Stein in bold across your pelvic zone is an integral component to many “abstinence only” education programs. At least, it couldn’t be less effective than whatever it is those actually consist of and get millions of dollars in government funding to continue failing at.

In fairness, I should say that Stein believes he was fired for criticizing the president, which seems unlikely to me, but I wouldn’t be terribly surprised because the exact same thing happened when the last guy was president and deliberately disappointing people. That doesn’t excuse such a termination, and I wish people with positions of influence would grow up and deal with their problems rather than lying and sniveling, but I already said I doubt that’s actually what happened. But regardless of whether Stein was fired over the stated “conflict of interest,” or whether even for that he should have been, what’s important is that he did/does IS scummy, which is all I meant to come here to whine about. This guy is NOT an economist but he wears the label of one even when doing jobs he would never have gotten were he an actual economist rather than some guy people recognize from movies, or failing that, other ads. He is not utilizing expert financial expertise here any more than Gary Coleman was, but he pretends that he is. Regardless of whether anybody falls for the act, it’s dishonest and misleading. He’s not shilling for Pepsi, which will merely destroy your teeth and give you diabetes, but if he was he at least wouldn’t do so with the words “sommelier and dietician” floating beside him.

Anyway, I still see the ads, Ben Stein is still a millionaire and he still doesn’t believe he is anything but the subject of a conspiracy in this.

In his official rebuttal (which you shouldn’t look at unless you feel a void in your life where The Spectator getting in your business and ordering you to subscribe to it may fit), among other things, Mr. Stein claims to have criticized Goldman Sachs back when that could have made a difference and also laments the amount of “sick people” online who get inordinately upset over his antics. Well, I never said he was an idiot. Not recently, I don’t think. However, he also insists early on that there is “avid scientific disagreement” regarding the origin of life in a way that implies Intelligent Design is one of the theories argued by actual scientists, which it isn’t, and then he spends the rest of the page complaining about “neo-Darwinists.” I don’t know what it means when you put “neo” in front of a group name beyond making whoever you’re referring to seem instantly and indefensibly crazy, so I can’t take it too seriously.

He also claims those who protest the freescore ads have confused it with “other companies that did not have FreeScore’s unblemished record with consumer protection agencies. (FreeScore has a perfect record.)” It’s one of the GOOD credit report scams! I didn’t know any of them had blemishes, actually. I thought they just tricked people legally and got away with it. Also, Freescore is a relatively young site and surely has plenty of blem-like items yet to isshue. One must additionally keep in mind that Benjamin wrote this while still officially involved with the Freescore company, so he had an obligation to defend it and follow its capitalization guidelines lest he be accused of integrity.

At any rate, freeScore makes no effort to distinguish itself from others which also claim to be free but really aren’t. Further, that header image on that page is inexcusably dorky. Is it a crime to be a dork? Perhaps it ought to be.

I am not a “Ben Stein hater left over from the Expelled days.” I was annoyed by him prior to then and found out about it while I was having a problem with his comcast ad that he didn’t seem to think anybody had a problem with. Yes, so, isn’t this all fascinating! Our research/archeology department continues to probe the situation.