I can’t access bimshwel.com at the moment, so that means I can’t… oh, hey, what do you know. Dee, I wish I’d noticed that sooner. Well maybe I’ll write something tomorrow, then!

=============================================

On the subject of corporate attempts to de-evolve internet video, here are some more ads I’ve seen while dealing with that. Yep.

“Double pits to chesty,” which is about the worst name I’ve ever seen for anything, and also

This, I don’t understand. Always in the capital letters, like it’s important or a thing otherwise worth being said. Clearly, none of these elaborate constructions do anything but fall apart as they are being pushed into a river. Why would anybody participate or watch this? Much less for free? Why work to build something that just breaks? This is like something that only drunken morons would watch, yet Red Bull has no alcohol in it. The company has patented a liquid stupidity with no intoxicating effects that it can market to kids without pretending it isn’t. Like the beverage equivalent of Christian rock: all the shoddy lack of merit as before with a side of self-righteousness. This self righteousness has not, to my knowledge, been put into use by anybody, but I know they’re thinking it.

Well at least the kids aren’t drinking beer, right? But they’re still drinking rubbish just because it’s popular and coming together in great amounts to accomplish nothing. And a generous portion of them smoke cigarettes, anyhow. That is, assuming the copious quantities of discarded red bull cans and cigarettes outside on the ground at every local concert venue I’ve visited can be traced in some way to the professional loiterers in attendance. Maybe those things just grow in parking lots.

And these fluggity things, it’s not as if they are all that INTERESTING to watch break; I’ve been seeing related advertisements for a few years and for all I know it’s been the same footage every time, because it’s just the same thing happening over and over. It’s like any athletic competition, except it’s not athletic or competitive. It’s just morons pushing heaps of wheels and papier mache into water, and, I presume, leaving it there.
Supposedly there are judges who rate things and the objects are required to be made of “environmentally friendly materials.” Well I still don’t like it! My remarks to the contrary of the data I just supposed were secondary to my main point that I dislike the advertisements and the impression they give me of the thing they are promoting. And twenty [or so] years of America Idahhhhhhh in my business haven’t convinced me that the presence of judges proves that garish freaks are committing entertainment.

I’m not above posting a dreadful image and telling you how dreadful it is, but nobody will be paying me for the privilege of recapping it later and I’m not pretending I think what I do is about anything but myself. Ooh there’s not even a joke on that one, that must mean I’m serious!

If I said that nobody would care because any idiot can say that, and I’d literally be any idiot. I strive to be the main idiot, and I am serious.

But I am feeling better now.

And Survivor, that’s been on even longer. Nobody has ever die ed on the show yet. EVERYbody has survived. Which is true to the name, but it is misleading. That would be like coming to Madison Connecticut and taking a picture of a random crowd of people and captioning it “the insufferable vainglorious wanker.”

 


That suggests the caption only applies to one of them, and the chances are I won’t even be in the picture, since I’m a psychotic introvert in addition to my other qualities.

You have to be the center of attention, don’t you!

You know where to find me, guy. And also orange hats.

Incidootally, I can’t find any information on Jacques Pepin that mentions this product nor any information on this product that mentions Jacques Pepin. Nowhere does he seem to be called just “Chef” Pepin and I imagine he would spell his last name with a diacritic over the E. However, I expect this to promptly stop being relevant to my existence the instant I activate the “publish” function to indicate that I am finished writing this. So watch out.