Everybody’s so irritable! I swear that I am working on many things. Some of them are even trivial enough to be pertinent to this website.

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december 25:

Aw naw, I forgot we were doing Christmitz again this year.

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All I want to do is eat, all day.

Healthy Way snacks! A healthy way is a good way to eat all day.

However, if you’re selling Jerky, Pringles and COMBOS you should NOT be allowed to use this logo.

The last time I bought combos was, according to my notes, January 2007. I have forgotten how I determined this. I’ve been putting off this dumb story for three years.

I purchased the COMBOS at a Walgreens. It was a mistake, but most of my Walgreens purchases are, and looking over the receipt afterward did lead me to a startling revelation: the Combos were actually on sale and I paid half as much as I thought I had, and most of the price had been the M&Ms I also purchased. But also, some items listed on the receipt were followed by an asterisk. I looked further down and redeemed the asterisk for knowledge that these items may be purchased with food stamps. Food stamps may be paid toward the purchase of COMBOS. Do not buy Combos with your food stamps. Food stamps are for food. Combos are not food. They are scarcely a snack. They are a science experiment. Considering that they already imply meat with the pepperoni pizza flavor, it would not be out of turn for Combose to develop a laboratory animal flavor.

I meant to scan the receipt and show it, but I didn’t, and then two weeks later I was getting mad at all the paper on my “desk” and that one especially bothered me because I could think of no reason why I had kept it, long since having consumed any mistakes I may have hoped to get petty refunds for. These are my struggles.

And then three months later, Friday, May foist, also 2007, also specifically documented, I found out that I qualified for food stamps. For some reason I was ashamed, even though they do make America stronger and white supremacy sites direct link to images I can change into pictures of Olmec and posterior-wiping cartoon frogs. I was ashamed, but then I realized I could buy soup. Anyway, time to get me some combos.

The strange power of combos is that as soon as you admit you eat them you feel really bad. Not as bad as you physically feel immediately after eating them, thankfully.

This NEVER happened. Not even ONE TIME. Was anybody fooled by this shot of a knife supposedly spreading the filling over, and somehow into the pretzeline tube? Even if that was physically possible they’d still make a robot do it. You’re more likely to find actual apple-based content in a box of Apple Jacks. You’d be more likely to find a jack in there. I used to like combos a lot when I was 11ish or so, but even then I couldn’t eat the default “cheddar” flavor. Something was never quite right there.

Combos do more harm than good. Consuming them has degenerated my motor skills to the extent that this is the best pertinent Street Fighter 2 screenshot I can stage even while controlling both players.

This one doesn’t count because it’s from one of the numerous forgotten early 1990s Street Fighter 2 spinoffs Capcom made to get out of having to make a definitive “3” in the series, Street Fighter II: Championship Obstetrician.

I’m not good at this game, either.