December 21, 2014

I first posted this on twitto, where my good ideas go to get truncated into misery so that they want to die.

In an attempt to be more useful to people, I have tried to be nearer to them recently. This means also being near their influence device, the television, which makes me aware of things that are incredibly non-relevant to my existence.



More things than usual.

For example, did you know there was a movie called The Interview that was going to be dropped into cinemas, but then was not going to be? In fact it was not about Interviewing; interviews are not cinemized unless they are with Vampires. In this case, some characters are sent to the magical land of North Korea under the pretense of conducting an interview with the leader, Kim Jong Uh, but are actually in town to murder him. It is a comedy. You are meant to assume it is a comedy because we are meant to think North Korea is a big ol joke because the people are repressed by such bizarre despots. You generally do not aspire to despotism unless you have a problem.
I tell you this not because I assume you do not know, but sometimes I reread things I wrote ten years ago in which I assumed the reader DID know something, I and I have by now forgotten.

And you can make a film [ostensibly] about killing a real person so long as he is far off and has no power to stop you. If he has it, then oops. You have little excuse! Fortunately for this crew nobody asks them for an excuse, because they think they are entitled to make that film, and call a revocation of that entitlement censorship.
Supposedly the owning corporation of the film, had a big hack attack by people angry about, among other things, the Interview film being released, specifically due to the north Korea/murder connection and not because they are sick of Seth Rogen and his “gee I dunno a-heuh-heuh-heuh-heuh” facial expressions.

Following some threats to destroy theatres that screened the film, theatres refused to show it, and the distribution company decided to abort the release (but not the TV ads for it). Actors in and out the film called it an assault on free speech.
I believe in “free speech,” but if you wanted to make a major feature film about killing MC Hammer you would likely have to ask permission or change his name. Now, is threatening to blow up movie cinemas on MC Hammer’s behalf a reasonable reaction? Probably not.


Just think, if we had this political climate 22 years ago Hot Shots! Part Deux might never have been made. Not only did its “story” promote a non-historical, overt military mission by the United States to kill Iraq’s then ruler Saddam Hussein, the advertising promoted Saddam Hussein as himself. In fact there was no controversy at all. Maybe Saddam Hussein did not have internet access in 1992. Also, that one was a bit more obvious as a comedy. The poster shows Charles Sheen holding a bug-eyed chicken as an arrow in a bow, for beets sakes. Perhaps not FUNNY to everyone, but no cultural divide could mistake that for a sincere sentiment. Considering that in real life we cut off their beaks, genetically alter them to not grow feathers and make them live their whole lives in darkness, ankle deep in their own filth before we kill them anyway, robin hooding one in a combat situation is benevolent by comparison, and patriotic besides.

What we generally have in our present day comedy cases are situations that are meant to be plausible and we are just supposed to find the awkward banter and dude!ly reactions funny. Dude! You just said something weird! Dude! Your masculinity is of questionable purity! Yeah, no, dude, bro. Just no. I just. Half of Anchor Man 2 was comedy and the other half was somebody in the film reacting to the comedy as if they knew it was comedic, then explaining why it was so.1 It is somewhat like the laugh track on Full House or The Flintstones except viewers who complain about that stuff pretend it is dissimilar.

Still, I do hope the United Kingdom follows North Korea’s example and starts taking action when an animated film has an out of place Scottish accent in it. Maybe that will calm some of the pro-secession fervour.

Is there proof that the North Korea government itself ordered or was capable of the attack? not necessarily, but somebody either supports the regime or wants to incriminate it. Maybe it is a mega marketing campaign, meant to make an ultimately tame and unadventurous movie seem shocking and enticing. And I wouldn’t want MY movie to open the same day as Robin Williams’ last major film appearance, unless it had nemitz in it and I was deliberately trying to reduce mitz market share. In any event The Interview’s stated premise is tacky. In fact at this point I would not even recommend making a movie about killing Mike Korea without consent.


Thank you Mxy Rimpfrixidy also for letting me post this without asking.


OR MAYBE, could this be a deliberate distraction from the recent torture report? I did notice that the ABC television network’s World News Tonight by last night had dropped the torture story while continuing to find means to bring up the Bill Cosby story, which is even older and longer media-ignored than the torture story, but less incriminating of crooked government, so possibly. Possibly, but if people were going to be outraged about it, they ought to have started long before then, or you could have been outraged that they were not outraged sooner sooner.

Maybe you were! The United States kills with robots, detains indefinitely without trial, makes destitute people homeless for missing payments while billion dollar profit corporations pay no taxes whatsoever, and uses chickens as weapons. I cannot keep up with what everybody is angry about, thinks I should be angry about, or thinks I have no right to be angry about while I ought to be angry about something else. This country is built on centuries of genocide. I have to periodically NOT think about that to get anything done.

I flip out when I cannot figure out what the creature (the younger cat) wants at 3am. I can get angry very easily. Knowing what to do about it is another matter. It can be cathartic to take apart an issue that is too stupid to matter in my life while things that ought to be addressed linger un.

And I heard about The Interview intervention on World News Tonight, the same nationally broadcast information program that broke the story that Froot Loops of all colors have the exact same flavor, this year, half a century after Kellogg’s didn’t bother denying it. If you want real insight, don’t watch something with commercial breaks that comes on before Wheel of Fortune. And if you get stuck near it without trying, don’t form an opinion and obsess over expressing it on websites where people want you to have more important problems.


The CIA report is not even the first torture admission this year. This one came in August. That is the face you make when talking about the torture of folks and folksy torture. Speaking of torture, I forgot I wrote a footnote about Anchorman earlier, so this page isn’t over.

1A designated stupid character would make an absurd statement and another character would point out how absurd it was and then dwell on it. Ron Anchorman would say, probably yell, something like “I drank half a bottle of ketchup because I thought it was [some alcoholic beverage whose mention got a laugh]!” The other character would respond “really? because half a bottle is six or seven gulps. You should have known after the first gulp.” In a scene with Ron and his chum Brick, Ron would suddenly have the ability to detect and point out absurdity and perform the straight-man function that he formerly and futurely required someone else do for him. “Brick, you realize nobody but you remembers your dream, right?” I believe the delivery of such a correction was meant to be an additional joke and not a clarification for audience members who did not detect the initial absurdity, and maybe the repetition of these exchanges was meant to be a running gag, but it is not a very good gag. Not twelve times in a production with a script, certainly. If you ever saw the mid 1990s Nickelodeon program All That, it was a bit like all this, just with less “really?” And if you never saw All That, that’s all right, and that’s all.

Except there is also a professional wrestling heel/face turn aspect to this and the first film. How many times can Ron Burgundy alienate everyone he knows and then have a big comeback without ever making amends? He does it in the first movie, and twice in this one. He should try what I do, and not bother with the comebaAAAAAAAAAAACK I’VE BEEN ANCHORED



7 Responses
  1. 1
    12:56 pm, December 22, 2014
    PurpleSpace sez:

    I’d heard about the Interviewingable mishap, but I assumed there was more important news than people being unnecessarily upset over movie that would most likely be terrible anyway.

    I’ve come not to be surprised that our guv-ment is doing creepy things they shouldn’t be doing. Although, it is supposed to be illegal to do those things to people who are from this country, so I don’t understand why that wouldn’t also apply to people from another country.

  2. 2
    2:08 pm, December 22, 2014
    Frimpinheap sez:

    There is always something more important you could have news about. As long as I am writing for free in my spare time, I am done inheriting shame via someone I hardly know re-twitting someone I don’t know at all with a flat condemnation that is probably directed at someone else entirely.

    And to quote Richard Milquetoast Nixon, “When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.” We should be aware, and speak out, and take action if we can, but people who treat it like “nobody has any right to be invested in anything else that happened recently” are maniacs.

  3. 3
    2:25 pm, December 22, 2014
    PurpleSpace sez:

    I don’t mind seeing you write about it! I was just surprised that it was the biggest news story that I’ve come to hear about recently!

  4. 4
    2:27 pm, December 22, 2014
    indighost sez:

    tl:dr

  5. 5
    2:36 pm, December 22, 2014
    Frimpinheap sez:

    space: Yes, that is fair. I am fortunate to not have to see the tv news every day, because they will give segment after segment to some dumb thing like that even though they probably have hundreds of researchers that could give them more interesting or pressing stories to talk about. It seems like every year or so I accidentally want to write something topical and then spend half my energy trying to address criticisms that should not apply to me because I only gave it ONE segment, and waited until I knew things rather than blurting out dumb speculations just so I can say I talked about it first, while deferring actual insight, if there is to be any, for a later date.

    ghost: Tacos late, driver reprimanded?

  6. 6
    5:20 pm, December 30, 2014
    Mxy sez:

    Thank you as well for posting it (and the Cracked link) without my asking. Mike has been murdered a few times, so I don’t think he would mind one more.

    The link in my name has Mike Korea’s adventures in more convenient order, but I wouldn’t call it a better link, because it also has more Mike Korea adventures to suffer through. It’s a no-win situation.

  7. 7
    10:23 pm, December 30, 2014
    Zeeplefreep sez:

    Ah that explains it! I knew they had been tumbled but was trying to find them under the srmxy account, having forgotten the other. I will make the alteration once this website remembers that I have that power.

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