I’ve drawn some embarrassing pictures over the years, and I hide them, but it occurs to me that when I get sent to crazy prison, for good this time, my personal archaeologists will probably be amused/horrified a lot more by all the stupid, simple, mundane things I never got rid of. Hopefully my 1991 Nintendo Power magazines will be gone by then.

There is a bag of “flavor twists” fritos in front of me which for whatever reason I didn’t finish, and I’m sure they must be stale by now, but I can’t see to their disposal until I check for certain. I keep thinking “well, the ones below the surface might not be totally stale yet, so…” and then I leave it there some more. As I type, or rather inbetween bursts of that, I am emptying several Wendy’s salt packlets into a larger container.

I’ve too often heard the warning: “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Aren’t I meant to judge a book by its cover? If the cover bears a picture and a title? Even if the author did not choose and even hated the cover image, whoever did pick it up intended that I get some idea from it. So there.

You could judge an audio book by an audio cover, but there aren’t audio covers! Sometimes I will awake with a thought that seems terribly profound, and will insist on writing it somewhere immediately. On one occasion the thought was about audio books. And there you are.

I love reading April editions of magazines in March. It’s like looking into the future. Otherwise, why the elk are they labelled like that? It’s a bit like when I go to an Australian website and it tells me the time is 10 am the next day. I’m just kidding, of course. I hate magazines.

Why, on keyboards, is O so close to 0? That needlessly complicates things.

Did Jackson Pollock have a washing machine, or did he sell all his paint-soiled clothes? If he did that, he could easily afford to buy new ones.

Not only does the Bat-Man lack superpowers, the fake ears are an increased liability

My pain is magenta.

Few phrases make me less want to eat than “mouth-watering.” I’ve never known there to be so many ads in circulation at the same time using that line. I’ve heard it for steak, for gum, and for beer, but one of these days it’s going to be made to refer to a thing I’d actually want, and then I’m not going to anymore. I know plant watering means to pour water into a plant. How am I supposed to eat food when some twunk is standing over me with a watering can?

Is there a better phrase for “watering can?” It sounds like the name of an Asian cartoon series that has nothing to do with watering cans and that actual English speaking fans refuse to acknowledge sounds retarded.
Watering Can Scuba W: Remember me Densely

At least motel Ramada is better than hotel Rwanda

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11-29-2011: this one hid from the robots for a long time!