no thank you

this generation’s mascot scientists face a complex issue: how can they improve upon the previous generations’ creepifying efforts? Every benign forgettable character from the 1950s that hasn’t been excized has already been over airbrushed and 3d rendered and sapped of all remotely organic elements. What possibly remains to be done that can make them worse? the keebler company, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Kellogg company, decided to have the creepler elf give up its long standing sideways glance in favor of a horrifying straight ahead stare.

here, at the same store, in a picture taken AFTER the previous two, is a vintage keebler elf on the a shelf for damaged products, ironic considering the psychological damage its descendant inflicts. Perhaps they had a fight for leadership of the tribe, this one lost and was banished. Or exported as the labeling suggests.

captain crunch, a long time veteran of my posts fixating on the packaging of products I do not buy, doesn’t look quite 3d rendered but mysteriously rather like an attempt at a two dimensional drawing OF a 3d rendered captain. the question here: is the box on the right the previous design or the aftermath of people seeing the box on the left and filing complaints?
another possibility: the left side character is actually a different Captain. Consider that he needs to order himself to crunchatize himself even though all crunch scholars know that “he” has done that already. However, the management saw

“oops! All Mega Berries” and finally realized the previous Captain Crunch had been all these years filling boxes with his personal berries (and donuts) on purpose while trying to pass it off as production errors. but as is too often the case, the corruption goes all the way to the top. Or to slightly below admiral, anyhow. The yellow box does not even bother to say “oops!” I never accepted the oops but its absence shows that the captain believes he is entitled to all berries, and his hubris level has become uncontainable. On that note, he ran out of cereal containers, and had to put the berries into little pouches instead. What would have been next? “oops one berry in a thimble” ? That Captain had to GO. Perhaps the previous elf has also been replaced for the same reason.

Now I have to go as well