Sheeran was exonerated for copyright infringement, or something of that nature, supposedly. I certainly hope so, I can’t fathom that he heard songs this bad and decided THESE are what I will lie about having made.
But that is fine if YOU like them, if you actually bothered to read any of this. You are real to me and i appreciate you for that.

//////////////////

JOHN LEGEND

AN EVENING

WITH

_{A NIGHT
OF SONGS AND STORIES}

when I saw this last week my eyes rolled so hard i almost went off the road. It is trying so hard to seem folksy and humble that it is obviously neither. he gives his stage name as “legend” for fleep’s beep. yet he isn’t creative enough to not be john.

I went to the website for foxwhoops (the casino at which this event is to occur) trying to find a picture of the billboard since, at that time, I thought it would be unsafe to take a photograph while driving, and later realized it was just ineffectual. but THAT says

JOHN LEGEND
AN EVENING WITH JOHN LEGEND
which comes across as somewhat less pretentious, if redundant.
However it shows the same “humble piano player with back to viewer in monochrome” photograph, and makes sure I know how many egots he won. and also that he is the first African American Man to win one
obviously I am not in the target audience, since even with Johnny Leg’s disco graphy in front of me, I don’t recognize any songs. That may even be in his favor to a degree but I still don’t want to pay twenty four thousand dollars or less for the right to hear them in person.

it reminded me of when I ended up on a terrible “screenrant” page last week

“the room is terrible” says conan o’brien
what a vague bizarre headline. it tricked me. it was designed to trick people and shove ads at them, not inform or entertain them. i disapprove of that business model. then the content of the story is like:

conan o’brien, the iconic, award-winning talk show host, sat down with the iconic, award-winning musician ed sheeran to discuss the iconic, award-winning cartoon series the simpsons

the simpsons, the iconic, award-winning cartoon series, has had many writers over the years, such as the iconic, award-winning talkshow host conan o’brien, who sat down with iconic, award-winning musician ed sheeran recently.

ed sheeran, the iconic, award-winning musician, recently sat down with the iconic, award-winning talkshow host conan o’brien and turned the tables on the iconic, award-winning talk show host to ask a question about the iconic, award-winning animated series “the simpsons.”

the phrase “award winning” instantly turns me into a skeptic if I wasn’t already. It is very much a phrase for marketing and for bad writers to fill space with. Do you have nothing to say? Just verbally lick the hindquarters of celebrities and list off their awards and other celebrities they have met, and you’ll have six intellectually barren paragraphs to surround your one scrap of new frivolous information in doh time. I even like Conan and have taken inspiration from him in some ways but I know from direct experience of hearing an offensively low effort generic bad song, looking it up out of pure anger and learning Sheeran was responsible, multiple times, that Ed is aggressively talentless.

breaking news: marginally talented irritating charlatans have a vested interest in keeping each other’s gravy trains going
I might become a “flat earth” adherent just to protest this piece of global news.

Everything about this guy has the aim of conditioning people to accept and pay for mediocrity. In 2019 in a london tube station I saw an enormous poster presented in this exact manner, presumably regarding the same product, but I did not photograph it since I didn’t want to seem as if i approved. also i was following nine other people, hauling excessive quantities of baggage and likely holding somebody else’s coffee cup and/or water bottle with the hand that should have been free and definitely wasn’t going to hold everyone up for dumb old ed sheeran when he doesn’t even care.
Why doesn’t he? And why should thousands of people trying to get to their trains have to be told that he doesn’t care? What he DOES care about is getting his name and the name of his mediocre cronies listed as frequently as possible.
He cares so little that he just “drops” shoddy songs and expects me to pick them up. I appreciate him linking himself to bruno mars though since the last time I heard a bad sheeran song in the supermarket I assumed Mars was responsible and only when seeking proof learned it was sheeran. it is extraordinary that I can see photographs of them beside a supposed musician wearing a cowboy hat and I complain about them instead. I assume the headline has been truncated and he doesn’t simply have the stage name “Chris,” but I am not angry enough at him to look it up.

I can appreciate that Mr. Legend can play a pianoforte instrument. I do not know if he does that especially well but there is definitely POTENTIAL there that Ed’s brand of bland unaccompanied acoustic guitar sappy moaning lacks. My Sheeran references happen to be several years old since it was precisely encountering songs like his that extra-emphasized the need for me to carry earphones in my personal satchel at all times. even if I do not take the satchel out of the house for a few days and need the ear phones for other tasks, I always store them in the bag because when I DO go to a place where I am at risk of hearing those songs, I WILL bring the bag, and if the ear phones fail to be in it I will quite lose my mind when struck by unblockable audio awfulness in public. It happened this summer with the beyonk “halo” song and that was hopefully enough to scare me straight for another few years. That and Sheeran’s too cohOOold outside crumbling like pASTEries are absolutely the worst songs I have ever heard that I remember right this moment. But Sheeran is a man with white celtic lineage similar to my own so there is no cultural or social “privilege” anyone can accuse me of having benefat from that he didn’t also so I feel more confident in declaring that he is absolutely horrible and without merit. Also Beyonce can dance or could at one point in her career. I don’t think I’ve seen a picture of Sheeran verifiably standing up.

look at that smirk. why stop with one cut?

hey guys we’re all unblemished rich privileged chums who get paid to be lazy together and call ourselves beautiful. I hope everyone involved with this dies immediately. But I know they didn’t because I saved this picture in January 2021 and I know at least Sheeran is still alive since the screenrant article that mentioned him was from more recently. It also didn’t mention him being permanently scarred by a sword attack so I assume that didn’t amount to anything either.
in retrospect I think he had no involvement with this but the convention of listing as many singers who need their faces looked as possible in the title confounded me initially. I only see two in the picture so the other two in the title are there for name-drop purposes foremost. And also perhaps so you don’t assume it is the beautiful people marilyn manson song, even though I would be more likely to listen to it if I thought it was the case that these ai-generated-looking forklogans were covering that raspy absurdity than whatever low energy misery Ed approved of, assuming “Khalid” didn’t bring anything new to that table, and really Sheeran has no financial incentive to allow that and I have no auditory incentive to consider that he might have. It might haven taken less time to check the song than to explain why I did not, but I would then be at risk of remembering it which I prefer to reserve the right not to. Good night!

I presume accidentally getting cut by nighto is even more embarrassing.