June 21, 2007

A warning to consumers:

a lot of pictures today...

THESE CROCS ARE NOT COOL!
DO NOT LET THEM DRINK YOUR MOUNTAIN DEW! DO NOT LET THEM PLAY WITH YOUR MIGHTY MAX ACTION FIGURES!

As would this be so even if they did more than hit their heads on traffic lights.

But they don’t.

Alright, alright. Calm down. There’s more to life than that.

Bah, I might have known.

Ha ha. Serves you right.

These people are also not cool.

Even less.


I thought these things were a nuisance on Super Nintendo roms. Yikes, if you ever intend to emulate commodore 64/amiga games, find a way to do so, and additionally find it worth the trouble, these will make themselves your business right quick. There’s a musician called Skaven who I became fascinated with a few years back. Thank at you, CYB, who or wherever you are. Just listening to the mostly decent music, I would never have guessed its original target demographic was people who read erratic scrolling text for five minutes at a time. Aw ban, there were commercial games with greetz in them. Even if those were an exception, otherwise you’re just staring at a fixed image for as long. And then the actual game would load in silence and turn out to be not be that good, and what preceded it might as well have been the end in itself. To think I felt stupid in 1991 waiting 45 seconds to play Mega Man III, when there were people twice-to-thrice my age enduring untold hours of narcissistic ramblings who didn’t even get a decent interactive product out of it.

Any slight bit of research you might do on the phrase “demo scene” is unlikely to be forthcoming about what demo scene actually was: terrible. To be fair, most demos look better than that up there, but are hardly more excusable. If I didn’t think it took a small bit of competence to first code these things and then stick them into other program’s data files without breaking them, I’d be sure all those people bore severe mental defects. For games other than COOL CROC TWINS, I mean.

Well! Notice how the level of misplaced pride is inversely proportional to how good the product is, in this example, the Commodore 64 version.


Adding a skateboard doesn’t help.


No progress here, either.


There we go.



12 Responses
  1. 1
    4:17 pm, June 21, 2007
    Yamamanama sez:

    I think they look more like deformed sharks.

  2. 2
    7:44 pm, June 21, 2007
    Admiral Beans sez:

    The important thing is that they aren’t cool.

  3. 3
    8:05 pm, June 21, 2007
    Yamamanama sez:

    The whole damn thing is a lie.

  4. 4
    10:30 pm, June 21, 2007
    Admiral Beans sez:

    Are you suggesting that they aren’t even twins?

  5. 5
    11:47 pm, June 21, 2007
    Yamamanama sez:

    Damn straight I am.

  6. 6
    9:14 pm, September 16, 2007
    You are fear. I am scared. Pinged With:

    […] I pointed out in the past that crocs are not cool, it is only fair to mention that their honorable ancestor Dribbelino, the […]

  7. 7
    9:17 pm, September 16, 2007
    Eeplivopu sez:

    Huh? Did I make that happen? How peculiar.

  8. 8
    9:25 am, November 27, 2007
    Ingredients of tylenol. Trackbacked With:

    View tylenol sinus….

    Tylenol ingredients. Tylenol sinus. Tylenol recall. Keep moving tylenol. Tylenol. Tylenol 4….

  9. 9
    8:18 am, December 9, 2007
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  10. 10
    8:03 pm, December 17, 2007
    Elfibrax sez:

    I know what tylenol looks like!

  11. 11
    4:06 pm, April 26, 2008
    ma509zda sez:

    c630t

  12. 12
    5:55 pm, April 26, 2008
    Splachtempf sez:

    You’d better hide. I think the Jawas are looking for you.

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