November 1, 2008

Bright pink and yellow cupcakes lend an air of class and dignity to any place of vote-doing.


Ehh, I’ll pass. Isn’t this the same way they got Ted Stevens? I know better than that. Nice try, lizard. And by nice I mean horrible. I own a magic dictionary.
The background is to distract you from how boring/lamentable the subject matter is. Ordinarily in a situation like this there would be a land mine about to be stepped on, a rogue incoming boomerang or something of that nature, but times are tough. And the tougher they are for me, the easier they are for loathsome lopes. I will have to settle for a fashion disaster.

But they got some problems there in Alaska, too, you betcha, by gum, by cracky.

From everyone’s favorite canid data depository, hunted by the British and so All American by default, Fox News:

‘Palin, who as governor of Alaska will appoint Stevens’ interim successor if he steps down, initially sidestepped calling for the senator’s resignation, saying, “I’m confident Sen. Stevens will do what’s right for the people of Alaska.”

But later, the McCain camp released a statement from her saying that even if he wins his re-election, he should quit for the good of the state.

“I’m confident someone from the campaign will release a statement saying what I think about this.” even in stories about other people Palin’s a goof. But this kind of thing is stupid anyhow, but not in a way that makes her look smart because she probably doesn’t realize it’s stupid: why is hinting that someone should quit a job different than “calling for” it? People are always calling for resignations, like it’s pizza or a singing telegram, and now they call for someone else to call for resignation. I hate the word “resignation” here, as if it’s a simple choice. Ooh, I just felt like resigning. No! You did something extra bad and additionally won the “possibly get held accountable” lottery and now even the creeps who liked you have to act like they don’t! There should be a different word for when somebody gets tired of a job and when somebody is essentially fired from one. Get to work on that. You may not use my magic dictionary.

With all this emphasis on mavericks I can’t help wishing Obama had selected Megaman X as his running mate. The problem, of course, is that polls in several key swing states suggested discomfort among white voters regarding Megaman’s connections to his brother Malcolm.

A popular question, with all the reason to exist as “boxers or briefs”: what candidate would you rather have “a beer” with? Do I wanna get my inebriation on with my old bowling partner Barry Ob and Joey B or the local pariah, son of the town drunk Johnny Mick and Sally P? I personally would prefer a president who does not drink beer at all. Even if our current master no longer does so, you can bet he’d be worse if he still did.

What I just realized last week, is whoever wins this election –my hesitation to call this for Obama days in advance is consistent with my unwillingness to respond to “see you tomorrow” with anything stronger than “you just might.”– I will likely continue seeing for another four years. Of course I knew that, but I didn’t really know that, no. If I’ve had enough schlub man thin lady romantic reefer revellin’ comedies, I’ve had enough of this lot and comedic impressions of them constantly. Also, now I understand, with that long awaited V for Vendetta sequel, W, that we have the technology to make feature film length impression exhibitions while the oafs are still in office. It’s rather worrying.

Doesn’t he look worried? I bet he’s calling the suicide hotline. Or maybe he’s just calling for my resignation after such a stupid joke. Fortunately, the only way to reach me is by radio and he has repeatedly denied knowing the frequency. In fact, my resignation is requested with great frequency (one of the best), so one more won’t besmirch my bucket. Board the windows and bust out the Cracklin’ Oat Bran (“More please”), bimshwel is here to stay.

On the subject, with all the marijuany media these days, it will not be too long before, rather than beer, we start getting asked who we’d rather share a joint with. And then we would elect the other one. The pot president isn’t getting much done. Unless…

Ah, well you didn’t say that before. Note that I apparently find it more hypothetically plausible that America accepts a toketastic layabout candidate before it allows one from a third party.

And I say to you that they have no idea what a thing they’re missing.

2 Responses
  1. 1
    11:46 am, November 2, 2008

    A pair of feet pushing away a pile of medicinal tablets sez:

    I always disliked when persons say “Have a/some [food product]!” I know no ill is meant by this gesture–typically quite the opposite–but I can’t help but instinctively view it as a sort of imposition. Maybe it’s the command form of the above exhortation, as friendly as it is no doubt intended. Food is not a thing to be commanded on another person, and thus such a statement begets a sort of very mild resentment. It probably doesn’t help that the food product being offered almost invariably is something I would never seek to “have” under ordinary circumstances, either…

    This in turn reminds me of a certain local radio station, which in the past had a long-running self-identification spot in which was featured a collection of brief clips pilfered from various media. One of these featured an individual with a particularly unpleasant week-old-gravy-sounding voice reciting, in sort of rapt state of semi-entrancement which bordered on the animalistic, the chant, “Party time fun time yeah yeah yeah!” While I have little doubt that his intent was to laud the virtues of the afforementioned times, and perhaps instill in others rememberances of joyous moments associated therewith and in turn create a sense of anticipation for similar events in the immediate future, I fear he only succeeded in inculcating in me a visceral distaste for both parties and fun, which are now forever linked with the memory of his voice. Most regretable.

  2. 2
    11:41 am, November 3, 2008

    Eesklipisk sez:

    Was it possible to identify the origin of the clips? Although I unfortunately have not as of now paid much attention to the sound of aging gravy, I can easily imagine the chant you mentioned being said in the voice and intonation of “Special Ed,” one of the many ugly characters allowed to appear continually on another of the Comedy Central channel’s infamous 10:30 pm slot fillers, Rank Pranksters or something like that.

    I remember roundabout 1997ish maybe a local fm station here would play brief dramas from South Park, without any explanation or acknowledgment of what I was hearing and I must say I did not understand. It was another year before I found out it was a television show about characters which would have looked better on radio.

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