Monday:
The internet has seemed only slightly less creepy since I figured out people talking about their GFs don’t mean their grandfathers.

Tuesday:
Why are the people who say “IMHO,” meaning “in my humble opinion,” almost always the least humble? You can tell they really think they have the best opinion of all. They’re so un-humble that they constantly remind everyone how humble they want us to think they are. They might as well say I’M A HO, because it’s usually true.

Wednesday:
Any day when I can’t wake up until 3 pm is one that I shouldn’t require a nap during.

Thursday:
My brother (the Ian one) just explained Fantasy Baseball to me. I felt like his wife.

Friday:
Overheard by me, spoken by one of my fence-building occasional neighbors, presumably to one of his children: “I will kick your ass. Get in the car.” The continued childish laughter from the suspected target suggested this was not a sincere threat, but it’s certainly nothing my father ever said to me.

Saturday:
Lists are easy.

We chilled on Sunday.