I have obtained the list of 2007’s worst selling video games. Although 2007 has yet to conclude, I feel these are reliable figures, much like the organizers of the Live, Earth! concertos wrote up reports in advance boasting of their 2 billion viewers. Although I have been forbidden from publishing this list on the penalty of fines and unfriending, I believe four or five members of the public have a right to know.

Regretroid

Mario Kartographer

Quake ‘n Bake

Age of Humidifiers

Animal Crossdressing

Baldur’s Fence

Hello

Baywatch NiGHTS

Secret of Mundane Island

Tom Clancy’s Piles of Cash

Betrayal at Condo

Smash Brothers Pele (except in Brazil)

Donny Most Recon

Mr. Don’t Bother

Earthblount

Madden 0Canada

Addworld: Abe’s Exponents

Marble Vs. Capcom

Spy Vs. Pie

Crack Ho the Dolphin

Harpoonstruck

Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo

Where in the Room is Carmen Sandiego?

Earthworm Gym

Final Fantasy Spastics

American McGee’s Name

Duke Snookums

Double Drag

Return to Condo (I Forgot my Keys)

Hooked on Phonics the Hedgehog

Space Inaners

Bubble Bob Dole

Quest for Maury: So you want to have a paternity test

The Colonel’s Breakfast

Super Mario All-Sars

Super Mario All-Bill Mahers

Oops! Super Mario All-Berries

Panzer Brigadoon

Code Name: Vapo-Rub

Tales of Phanphiction

More of that sort of thing

Oh, this is hardly over.