October 2, 2010

If I get cancer for this class from using spray paint I had better be given at LEAST a b- out of it.

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Friday, October 8: I bought a glue gun today. I did not, however, update this website.

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Don’t eat this enigmatic cholesterol lump because somebody dared you to.
I will probably eat a KFC double-down before I die. I just don’t want it to be immediately before or why.



First of all, does anybody really clench their tongue out the side of their mouth like that? I never do that. I would know if I did. I know when a wet thing touches my epidermis.


Walter the hobo… I’m supposed to be afraid of this guy but I can’t when he does that.

More to the point, is it truly necessary for the two lower guys to hold up the bagel while the third one cuts it? They are endangering the cutter, and endangering themselves by being so near the path of the blade. Apart from creating unsafe work conditions and unnecessary liability, they are themselves unnecessary and should be fired immediately. The cutter should also be fired for walking on the food. All three should be required to take a neckerchief management class. Fire the bagel, too; they’re boring. The knife may stay. I approve of its stripes.


But nobody ever listens to me, does they? Last year I repeatedly reiterated my belief that every one of them should also be fired immediately, yet here they are again. In fact they are even more numerous than before. That less is going wrong does not change that just as much is going right.
The mouse creature, curiously about one fourth the size of the squirrel creature (the one in the grid-pattern jacket. YES that’s supposed to resemble a squirrel GOSH), was initially sitting on a conveniently placed curb-edge from the reference picture found online which I started with, but when I actually visited the place I saw that there was no curb at all, just a brief slope. Thus, a banana.


And who’s this? This is the character that I had to remove from the picture to preserve balance. You can see how well that worked out. I wasn’t entirely sure what he was wearing, anyhow. I could have switched him with the tall kid, but that kid was at least tall, whereas this one is about the same size as the dopey tail-ed miscreants.

I hear the actual 5000 event occurred while I was safely out of the country a few weeks ago in August. However, when I initially created this image, I faced the fears and apprehensions of those who initially misread the lettering to believe that DOPE IS COMING. Permit me to emphasize:NO dOPES ARE COMING AND NO dOPES HAVE COME. That needed to be said. I had nothing to do with that.
This makes me think that I should devote a page to all the times other people have drawn stupid things like dopes and dope sympathizers. Not because I think you care, but just so I don’t forget. It’s happened a few times by now and I’m starting to worry.


In other nopes I was forbidden to take pictures of this building, even to use as guide for a picture intended to represent a charity for patients at this very hospital. And so I stopped taking them.

In the event you are curious, the charity is to raise money to help the patients get treatment, not to give them cancer.

We’re trying to run a business, after all.



5 Responses
  1. 1
    3:22 am, October 3, 2010

    A resource hog sez:

    Maybe if you hadn’t been responsible for so many dope arrivals in the past, people would not make such assumptions!

    As for our present villain, they would appear to have imbued a dope with the unjustified self-satisfaction of the bow tie fool. Clearly this maniac must be stopped.

    Finally, that armadillo bears a strange resemblance to Muffineater.

  2. 2
    2:38 pm, October 7, 2010

    Preflubmrinkt sez:

    I never invited any dopes. I cannot help where they go. All I can do is turn them away and toss them in dumpsters.

    Such mergings have occurred before! This one, thankfully, lacks a bow tie, which is harder to explain than the thing merely having its eyes closed.

    I would not like to resemble any reputed eater of muffins, least of all that one. I pity the armadillo.

  3. 3
    12:26 am, October 11, 2010

    Advocatus diaboli sez:

    Dopes are extremely intelligent!

  4. 4
    12:19 am, October 12, 2010

    Preflubmrinkt sez:

    I dispute that they would make the jump from not intelligent at all to EXTREMELY so in such a short period!

  5. 5
    12:31 am, October 12, 2010

    Preflubmrinkt sez:

    I mean NO! No dopian intelligence of any quantity has ever been measured! I dispute your claim one-hundred per-cent!-!

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Sorry, the comment form is apologizing at this time. Which probably means I got tired of deleting robot comments off this post. It is unfortunate, but generally very few actual people have anything to say to me.

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