Also, my internet is still awful. Transmission of necessary data is decreasingly possible.

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In my mind, “my name is earl” and the show about the guy who moves to stuckeyville and buys a bowling alley had merged and I suspected I was best off keeping them that way. Then a few weeks later I remembered the second show was titled “Ed” and I became depressed.

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I forgot completely that bimshwel’s birthday was on the eleven of may. This is probably for the best. It is only nine years old but the sooner it gets used to people not remembering its birthday, the better for it, I think. That also allows me to more easily forget the date permanently, thus averting such awkwardness in the future. This is good in additional ways because I have also not yet permanently forgotten that I specifically chose the 11 because that was the same day my Spam luncheon meat book informed me that Spam luncheon meat was invented on. That sort of thing was important to me ten years ago. I said nine up there but the first year didn’t count. Most people can’t at such an early age. On to more urgent business:

I’m tired of nemitz pretending its name is just “mitz.” It is LYING to you. I can’t stand it. It thinks putting “mitz” into a fancy serifed font makes that factual and official. Guess what, iditwit! Your name isn’t just mitz! In French I might if I understood it say “tu ne mitz pas.” (more accurate would be “tu n’est mitz pas” but it doesn’t look like it should be, does it! (and most accurate would be “tu n’es pas mitz” but I didn’t know that)) I use the informal tu instead of vous not because we’re friends or but because I outrank you. It also does not mean that there are tu nemitzes.

For some baffling reason evidence that there isn’t even one nemitz yet eludes me.

Ne indicates that the statement is negative. As the negativity has already been established it would surely be redundant for pas to also indicate negativity so that must just mean that nemitz is not my father, and so I shan’t be honoring it in June. Its absense on a counterpart occasion in May also proves that nemitz is not my mother, although it possibly then is my older brother, who doesn’t find such arbitrarily declared holidays worth his time. But at least HE has a job and some marketable talents. Nemitz is a worthless layabout with no skills and just as many excuses for not paying homage in buffet form to the being that gave it life. ME. I am your mother, nemitz. How DARE you.

Mitz. MITZ. Do you think you’re Odo of Metz? Odo is a dumb enough name for you to think is good. Incidorkally, Odo is the earliest known to wikipedia architect born north of the alps.

Come now, do you honestly think that helps?

Understand! I’m not mad because you’re getting the better of me! I’m mad because you aren’t but you think you are! And now I will talk about something else!

I have nothing to say to you.

TOO PROUD!

dorks, elpse, how did this take hours to do?, NEMITZ | (4) comments | Squirmalink