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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
November 20, 2019
“Oh woe is me,” the farmer cried, “The elves will be my guests.”

oh fleeps i just noticed that the yeep momentarily re-appears in the air after it gets shot down, and seems to suffer from that.
/////////////////////////////////////////



the general layout of a too long overdue replacement for a visually very boring part at the beginning of the first first beet cartoon where it absolutely should not be boring if I want people to watch the whole thing! People with standards, I mean, not us.

i still need to sort out the backgrounds and draw the leaves on a lot of those beets/red balls, make sure nothing is going out of frame — the dominant aspect ratio has changed considerably in the 13ish years since i started it — , make sure the motion tweens aren’t screwy — the way adobe animate handles them is drastically different than how flash handles them and absolutely unintuitive to figure out, even though if adobe wanted to screw with flash’s design they should have included alt-key eyedropper functionality like every other image editing program in longer than I have been working on this cartoon — and definitely definitely redo the singing. the old voice goes painfully flat in one place and is higher pitched than it should have been since i initially used the same voice that i did for greegorp, since i didn’t initially realize i would be including greegorp singing something in the second part
even if i never finish part 1 i ought to replace the youtube video since its video quality is watery and its resolution very “i don’t have good enough internet to watch anything stronger than this, much less upload it” which is no longer the case.
I have been playing these cartoons on the monitor screen at my art shows and increasingly bothered at the static first scene and bad singing. I at least have the power to improve one of those things now! Also this gives me another excuse to not start drawing the animation for part 3 since i may subconsciously be terrified of attempting to, and the best way to deal with something like that is to not deal with it and let it become more intimidating as more time elapses.


elpse will NOT have any speaking lines and i am not speaking to elpse either.



November 7, 2019
Rip Thomas is the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion, and his appearances on network television have been a thorn in the side of Brell, the head of the struggling World Television Network. Since Rip’s Wrestling show is huge on the ratings and WTN network ratings are slipping down in the ratings.


2-24-2009

11-6-2019

glad to see I have spent ten years well


the first one to me is funny, but the second one actually looks painful and makes me feel bad for the dope! even though the dope LIKES being beaten up by elpse. It also likes when I feel bad so then then I don’t but the dope also likes when I don’t feel bad and that isn’t fair! I do NOT authorize the dope to share in my non-misery! arrrrrrrrrrrgdopes.



September 11, 2019
“A crazy person can’t do all this,” he said. “A crazy person can’t make this floating stage.”


I prepared all the pages for the [proof copy] of the next comic book and sent away for the proof print. I do not consider the work finished and probably will not have time to make a full order for the November 2 + 3 art show, even if i do inexplicably finish by the time the proof print comes and I do not find anything with it that is wrong beyond what I continued to poke at meanwhile, but at least for the time being if something goes wrong it might not necessarily be my fault. Additionally I have updated all posted pages with my 3 months of changes and they can be viewed from this point onward.
Regarding that up there, it initially started the chapter, but I thought it was more “professional” to start the chapter with a view of scenery, and also establish kumquat and pog’s presence. Also, I like the idea of the comic strip having no narration whatsoever, but i also MADE this dumb thing and have always had it between the end of one part and the start of another, even though at THAT time, part one was in a state of disarray and the whole point of my redrawing all that was to render further explanation of what it shows unnecessary. However, obsessive compulsion states I must include it if I am able, and so for now I am doing so.
Kumquat still looks awkward, but the other three characters look slightly better. Elpse no longer has fish whisker things protruding from its face nor stripes on its thigh regions. I LIKE those details, but if I have them here, then I risk forcing myself to include them everywhere else like I did after I added little zigzag stripes next to its feet and hand areas. Also, nemitz is still a crumbag. THAT would be truly impossible to fix in time to get the books printed.
This is only a half page, but i used the second half to cram in my various website urls. Of course I still have people asking if I have a website while looking straight at my business cards that only exist to show urls for my 500 different websites, so this may be irrelevant. Yes so I have tentatively placed this on the inside front cover. I will of course scrutinize that text’s legibility. I do not yet have something for the back cover or a preview of the next issue’s front cover for this one’s inside back cover. I have a lot of cover left to cover.



August 28, 2019
Fire-up your warp rattler and prepare to blast off into enemy space

The job is yet incomplete but I believe I will be concluding book 3 at page 2-35. On the website I have that section as ending with 2-39, but then that only leaves 22 pages for the next book. This change leaves it with 26 which still seems low but there is at least one, possibly two new pages that I will insert to show the gwakpazirs/”urkel spheres” again and also the kaklabesk creature which I made such a problem for myself over trying to explain on the most recent new pages despite it only having appeared on one page prior then. But if it is on TWO earlier pages, THEN my time was well spent! Some of the gnome pages are too bunched up, also, so I can definitely push that up to 30 pages. With the remaining pages I can make some origami pterodactyls.


2-55 is particularly messy, even if as a work of spatially-efficient visual art I was particularly pleased with that when I first constructed it. That was the first page were there were conspicuously non-rectangular panels. But I suppose rectangles are preferable to wrecked angles. The dope getting beaten up is worth presenting in a coherent manner.
I included that picture just in case once i DO sort that out I forget to return to this and correct the link. Right now my right arm hurts because I tried way too hard to scrub a toilet today and I want to minimize excess fiddling on this website entry but I must think about my legacy. Fortunately I do not use a leg to scrub toilets.


Additionally I notice a shift in the artwork at 2-30ish, especially once namitz and elpse leave the hospitarium, to a lot more cross-hatching, although somewhat more orderly than earlier stabs at it, though with duller coloring. I was surprised that the last few I have been working over required surprisingly little art editing, compared to the previous two books anyway, beyond the difficulties I already alluded to. The editing at THIS point is tedious but not difficult. I seemed to reach a level of stability roundabout 2-21 in which I had just enough real ink and inexplicably coherent backgrounds despite a large amount of straight lines and inorganic details that don’t change between panels, and then I lost it again once nemitz started wandering around screwing things up. And so to edit further pages will require a different “rhythm” than i had developed. Nemitz thought it could stop me, but stopping me there allows me to continue elsewhere! I would thank nemitz but I would never thank nemitz.



August 13, 2019
The game is set on Timber’s Island and revolves around Diddy Kong and his friends’ attempt to defeat the intergalactic antagonist, a wizarding pig named Wizpig, through winning a series of races.



this is the dominant project of the moment. Trying to make awkward comic strip pages from ten years ago look slightly less awkward by surgically extracting as much of the rigidity, bad mouse-done “ink”work and bad anatomy out of them as is feasible by some arbitrary point that is likely still too late to get new books printed by when I want to have them. My anatomical rendering skill and general awareness are still terrible but I am considerably less likely now to commit to a weird guess. This example shows some unusually bad dialog flow, which is why I chose it, even though it is not one of the problems I cited. This is also a problem! There is no sense in mentioning it twice!

Ostensibly it should not be that hard but there are a few hundred drawings in here, if i estimate 13 panels per page and 30 pages it comes to 390 which is likely a bit low. Also I “have” to separate the panel boundaries and word baubles –in the event it isn’t necessary to rewrite the text entirely, which is frequently the case with elpse, or redraw the bauble shape, which I do for pog and nemitz since I decided that less serious characters have less serious bauble shapes after this point– to maximize my ability to correct awkwardness on them, which is also a bigger job than it would be to a reasonable person. In 2009 I obsessive compulsively used hard black for all outlines and more shading than was called for, so getting the components separated is tedious but necessary for reasons too tedious for me to explain. what it amounts to is that I have a heirarchy of sicknesses and in order to live with the chief sickness I must endure some less prodigious sicknesses that both necessitate that I do strange needless work and that I do the work very strangely, to a needless degree. A long time ago I was proud of the fact that I could arrange and complete these things all on one digital layer. Also of using pure black for all outlines and text. Now I definitely wish I had not been so insistent on those things!



Why did i think it was a good idea to use solid line shading on skin? I imagined it would blend into a smooth grey but in the end it looks like a bunch of scratches. It looks good on wood. I felt so empowered to be using real ink from real pens at that I thought it could solve all of my problems! It looks better than my bad mouse pretend ink but then I kept adding more and more of it so it was still a mess. page 20 has some particularly bad examples but I have not gotten to altering that one yet! But I “need” to make a website update today so this is that.



February 25, 2019
Ernest is the head elf and the most friendly of the bunch. He runs the workshop with an iron fist.


page 34 of part 3 of that dumb old comic strip.
I probably wrote more text about this page than any other and feel like showing less of it than ever!


this script is so old, elpse initially said “get up, ramus.” Ramus is a character from the video game Lunar Silver Star Story Complete Absolute Total, who is unprepared for the life of a video game hero and gets knocked down a lot. lope was also initially quoting ramus’s “blarrrrgh.” I played Lunar Silver Star, in 2006, and last mentioned it, specifically with regard to Ramus, in 2007. I don’t remember if I wrote this part of the script then but I was certainly un-old enough to think I could put an obscure exchange like that in here and have anyone know what it meant, even though I didn’t actually post a screenshot of Ramus saying “blarg” anywhere because I didn’t think it was an interesting-enough line for that, so it most certainly was not interesting enough to allude to out of context nearly 12 years after the game was already a 7 year old remake of a game from 1992 which wasn’t even particularly innovative THEN. Also the one time a voice actor says his name it is pronounced “ray-mis” and I always say “ram-us.” I made myself obsessed with Lunar because I knew, at that time, other people who had been obsessed with it when they were children and I thought they would link to my website if I liked the same stuff they did. If they read my comic strips in 2006 they certainly don’t now! Probably.


Oddly enough one of them specifically denigrated the game Breath of Fire in favor of Lunar and I said nothing in its defense even though I legitimately liked Breath of Fire and still like it better and I don’t know that I have mentioned it even one time in the half-my-life of having this website. I don’t even have any screenshots from it since I last played it before I made this website or meticulously documented everything I did.


Literally the last time I played it, my computer had an MS-DOS based infrastructure. Three to four times as much time has passed since I last played it than had passed between the last time I played it on real hardware and the first time I played it in an emulator, which I thought at the time was a long time!


I may even have stolen pog’s name from it! Although I only remember being surprised to see the name in the game years after stealing it if I stole it, not actually doing so. All this is not to say I resent Lunar –I was able to make a forced infatuation be sincere back in 2006– or that Breath of Fire isn’t made of problems that only a childhoodded fixation can disregard (and I may resent BOF instead for making me steal POG from it), but of all the things I make, the bimshwellian comicoid least of all I ordinarily wonder who I am trying to please with it and why, but today I did!

Also lope being felled occurred, initially, during the altercation with the robots, but when I got to that point I decided the robots should just get beaten up without doing anything. Inexplicably I liked the dialog enough that i contrived a way for lope to fall down in the same spot at a later point, and now that is a permanent part of the “story.” i only removed the ramus line literally on february 22 2019. Or rather made a copy of the dialog bauble and moved it to another layer and turned it unvisible in case I wanted to bring it back (and look, I just did). I had drawn it in knowing it didn’t belong there but not feeling like dealing with it. Thankfully I still think it is funny that lope is pitiful and a substitute line easily suggested itself, so this is only a major problem with regard to me knowing i cannot be trusted and that i will probably be 60 years old before i get through the entire script as it is now.


Of course, as I indicated, much of what goes on is NOT in the script. i get to a point and i change it, sometimes significantly; initially nemitz was intended to capture pog out of view, but when i got to this point I thought it would be funny if elpse’s goop fell on nemitz, so then elpse had to run off and capture pog itself, and that gave me an opportunity to acknowledge the dope still exists and also exhibit pog’s unusual attitude toward captivity.

But I do not want to drop anything I think of for any reason and so try to think of in-character ways for them to behave illogically to accommodate script pieces that are no longer relevant. In this case, lope thinking that the goop-covered nemitz is a ghost (and at the same time avoid saying “I’m soooo dead”). From a long term stand point, do I really believe that lope really believes that ghosts are real or that itself was well and truly dead? I did not think about it that deeply. But I knew “wow I am sooooo dead” is obviously not how lope talks by the time I got here, even when I still thought elpse might call lope “ramus.” I wrote that so long ago I did not have a solid grasp of how lope talked or just how foolish it was and in what ways. But NOW I wonder: does lope live in constant fear of death and undead spirits? What occurred to make it be preoccupied with that? I know, or think I know, that nobody is going to DIE in this comic strip, and have worried about my ability to introduce matters of consequence as a result, but I did not want to face the issue on the big punchable nose either, since it is too permanent an occurrence to add on a whim unless you are making something stupid like Dilbert that isn’t supposed to be consistent or not contradict itself. A hypothetical future version of me with a clearer mind may think a character death is necessary or even devise an alternative that is not strictly “death” as it applies to real people but without relying on conventional cartoon judeo-christian afterlife tropes that have no business applying to dumb old lope who I won’t even let have a christmas tree, or even some of the other innumerable copout ways American comic books have, often on whims, undone once-significant or equally whimly deaths. And that version of me would then also have to determine if there are supernatural forces which have interest in or authority over death and life. The present me is not qualified and so should avoid topics which lead to that one!


additionally lope’s new comment about ghosts agitates pog, who now has no reason to be this bored by the dialog. Fortunately pog has a looser concept of reality than lope so I do not need to wonder about why it is afraid of ghosts.

Pog’s boredom complaint came about because consistently in this section of the comic strip i have worried that i had more dialog than interesting visuals could be made to accompany. But again and again, and indeed again, had to strain to cram in all the visuals i came up with. However, now a script revision that I added due to the boringness of the script was made irrelevant by a future revision. That is so convoluted, crowded and broken I am surprised now that I didn’t keep it in!

Beyond all that, this page is one that is very hard to get working without layout swapping or dialog bauble stem crossing because there are so many characters stuffed into it. Ordinarily you can switch around where characters are to facilitate better dialog flow by zooming in, zooming out, or going to the next page, but I don’t like doing those things! i had in fact gone to a bit of trouble to switch the layout already; initially the viewpoint matched the previous pages, with the dialog positioned to suit that, and then I realized that would mean drawing the back of this parking lot 12 more times and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to draw this side either but it at least is plainly a different page.

I should just put the word “trivia” at the top of a page every time I am conflicted about the overall relevance of its contents.



February 26, 2018
I was the caped crusader, now I’m the canine crusader


The presumptive back cover to the perpetually oncoming second bimshwel comic book. As always, you may click on it to get a bigger version. I do not always say this, and I realize, despite sometimes forgetting that I realize, that usually means almost nobody knows it, and in this case it is crucial to having an idea what the text says, and some of it matters.
It took longer than usual, as little grasp as I currently have on what “usual” is, since initially i drew elpse in it.

(do not bother clicking on this one) and elpse was the most-drawn thing on it at that point! Because initially the idea was just the first three frames, which I drew in a sketchbook years ago, with pog and elpse. I imagined it went into the comic book somewhere, but forgot about it when drawing the part where elpse is actually in that place. After I remembered it for this, it seemed like it could function as abstract in space and time, like a stand-alone illustration, but then I did not know what to fill the rest of the page with. And so I extended it, and it felt then less abstract, and more like it would be seen to contradict a not-yet-drawn comic page from the near future (which admittedly I thought was in the near future a year ago) in which pog and elpse have not been properly introduced. In my MIND, this and the first comic book’s back cover happen at some point in the future (comic future, not actual future, though it would also be that, if it was anything). But with elpse here I would have to explain THAT, but only once I get to the point of the apparent contradiction, and it would seem like I just screwed up and made an excuse! I have plenty enough aspects of my life to give lame excuses for without adding new ones that actually aren’t excuses because I meant them to happen that way.

Anyway the reaction, telling pog what to do, then scorning pog without acting or commenting further, suits yibrik better than elpse. Of course in addition to drawing in the character I also had to go back to every prior yibrik drawing and give tails to them since apparently I never did. The only time I ever drew yibrik with a tail previously was on the other book’s back cover! I saw it recently and didn’t remember having drawn it. But a bit later when I thought to replace elpse, I remembered that I SAW that, and decided one tail ever indicated adequate past intent to justify permanent tailage (since I no longer remember why or what I thought about any thing I did more than a few weeks ago). Of course I might decide, if I WANT to insert this somewhere later, it will be in a story about kumquat giving out tails. But then it isn’t funny for kumquat to just out of nowhere offer to give pog one. Right? Sure. So I don’t have to go and erase all those new tails I just added and fill in the background around them. Good, I was worried for a moment.
I think, if I were to go through and redraw and rewrite all this a third/fourth time, and I would roller skate on an airport runway wearing a suit of armor made out of pizza before I did, I would make yibrik a more visible character, since the way I think of yib now, argumentative but potentially harmless, is considerably different than how I thought of it back in 1995, as likely villainous, which influenced how I introduced it here eleven years after that (twelve years before now).

Does all that make sense? It shouldn’t! I work this hard so that the nonsense behind my motives does not need to be discussed.



January 14, 2017
it’s time to clear the air when it comes to live dopplers in connecticut


an attempt to practice at a different art software, Clip Studio, which I acquired for a stupid reason and feel obligated to make use of. I could finish this drawing. Yes I absolutely could!

I still had to open up ye olde paint shopped proe 6 and use the mouse to clear up that which is there. I thought I had the PSP cd but I apparently only have Kid Pix, my original impossible to draw in except zoomed in really close since consumer art tablets did not exist back in 1994 software. I initially used it at the understaffed daycare for dumb kids that legally counted as “school” which I attended and then made my mother buy it for me after I got a home computer but eventually I had to concede that windows 3.1’s built-in and free pbrush.exe had more practical features with which to draw poorly using a mouse.
And I must say I have never gone through the hassle I did replacing my broken art tablets the past two years to get a replacement for my stupid old mouse, even if it is apparently highly controversial to sell me one without a keyboard.
For rather a few years I was curious about the likes of adope photoglop but never had a machine strong enough to run it well until 2009 or thereabouts. By the time I was decent at it, everybody I knew was trying to convince me I should use Sai or Manga Studio or flippindippin Gimp. I would ignore them at first but eventually see other people’s great results and think I was missing my chance to to do better, and then do far far worse trying. I may have to accept that I was correct all along in rejecting higher functioning software; I can only draw dumb stuff with dumb stuff!



February 2, 2016
In the 1980s, Velveeta used the advertising jingle, “Colby, Swiss and Cheddar, blended all together” in its US television commercials to explain its taste and texture, because at that time genuine cheese was used in its recipe.[7]

page 10 of part 3 of this strange comic strip.

I am not even going to pretend I know anything about cooking. I think it might push this series more in the direction I want it to go if I am honest about what I do not understand, also.
I should also be honest that I am terribly amused when somebody gets poked in the nose.

And initially the item was square-shaped and being removed from an oven, and I like this dialog line better with “oven” in it, but since I didn’t at any point show it going into the oven, I could not make that work with the pot I have already shown being fixated on. It shouldn’t even be important enough to mention but I literally have too much anxiety to sleep lately over dumber things than that. The fact that I did not previously draw an oven into the same room was thankfully of less concern to me.

Also I keep forgetting to mention that the first book can be bought from here. Or rather I wanted to make a longer post about it, but I also wanted to wait until after I made another post explaining that weird “maybe I’m a lion” post, so that they are buried together, and I have been unable to find a shovel big enough.



August 22, 2015
Andross is an inSANE FOOL

Part 3, page 08 of the questionable comic strip.
I was worried that I had lost touch with the comic through all the delays and my lack of a clear path to a conclusion, but I like this page more than many that came before it.
Unfortunately, you can tell nemitz is a scoundrel because nemitz ALWAYS thinks it is funny when elpse gets hurt.

What a ridiculous scenario. The lizard and elpse are fighting over NEMITZ. Nobody should want nemitz, much less two people trying to prove who wants nemitz more! Thankfully these are dumb imps and not people. Still, it makes me mad. The lizard thinks it is being polite by refusing the drink! It thinks it is TOO polite to drink that, even though it is causing a major problem, and it keeps saying lope. It literally does not know how to stop saying its name. After I work so hard to not say its name, it is quite rude to sabotage my work.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: November 29, 2019
Charmlatan sez:
But is it pog’s desire or the creatures? I fear the day of pog’s reckoning, you...
November 27, 2019
Charmlatan sez:
Certainly amps me up for some beets. Me thinks I may dine on the second beet of the year.
November 20, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
The dope really ought to offer some indication that it is being whacked properly! I...
November 20, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
I fear that much of my life experience confirms that!
November 20, 2019
Dhraiden sez:
Proper dope whacking takes good form and years of dedicated practice
November 20, 2019
Dhraiden sez:
The takeaway clearly is that it’s easier to annoy than impress or entertain
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    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same