August 30, 2011

8amish Sunday, I woke up to find this tree had overslept. The tree must work at the electric company because nobody had turned on the power until after it left.


Before then, some fire trucks and passengers gathered about for a while. After they determined no fire was on the premises they left in hot pursuit (ha ha) of more exciting tasks.


I can’t imagine they could see it very well with all these leaves in the way, though.


A few pedestrians strolled by to take pictures of the tree.

The hurricane was originally scheduled to stick around until late in the evening but when the lack of electricity terminated the free wi-fi it decided to get going and beat the traffic.

My own interest similarly spent on the matter, I wandered about in the rain, in search of things I understand.


Hey DUCK: this is NOT a lake or a pond. It is just WATER FROM THE SKY. There are no FISH in there because fish do not FALL FROM THE SKY. This wasn’t even THERE yesterday, dumb bird! They love finding the stupidest looking places possible to make their legs disappear.

Also on State Street: Aw frank, look at this disaster! What a mess! And i’ve just been reminded I actually took this picture the day before the hurricane showed up and that this scene has been blocking the road since last October.

As I returned to the climb scene at almost noon, an irritating alarm sounded from the liquor store that for once I’m going to assume I don’t need to show you. People love alarms. That’s why they always let the ones on their cars run for ten minutes before doing anything of pertinence to it. This situation was no different. Though the amount of people had increased in size, nobody bothered to take advantage of the already activated and blatantly ignored alarm noise and steal anything. They were too busy photographing the tree. I would approve their lawfulness and not deride their lack of initiative, but they also blatantly ignored the CAUTION tape around the tree. You fools! Don’t you know they’re more likely to bite when they’re injured!

A ha, progress, and order. Now a licensed work crew with reflective vests can take pictures of the tree.

They hung up some homemade stop signs about the intersection and departed.

By all meeps, get out of your car in the midst of the road to take several pictures of the tree. I’d put extra importance on this if your car has screen windows.


This yellow truck showed up in the vicinity of 3pm to make it clear that coalition forces now occupied both sides of the street. Also, some cones. The tree slowly starts to realize it is outnumbered. More people took pictures. If that thing doesn’t clean up its act in a hurry it’s going to be REALLY embarrassed on face book later.

A hobokin on the steps of the building nearest the tree observed me looking at the tree roots and interrogated “You know why this happened?” Before I could prepare my defense he answered his question and blamed it on the sidewalk which had been installed during the previous year. Supposedly the roots were cut from below this area for no reason I could guess and that made the tree feel more inclined to recline. Two hours later this fellow was still there, no doubt keeping the populace informed. I suppose he thought if electricity was never restored we’d revert to a tribal system and he had a shot at becoming village elder, getting control of the magic sword in the process, and then he could use that to rob the liquor store for real this time.


An industrial loader! Now we mean business. Enough to not call that a “bulldozer,” even. When the tree sees that unoccupied construction vehicle staring down its caution tape it will surely be intimidated into compliance. Despite the loader looking like a toy in this picture I assure you it only did the job of one. The loader’s driver continually asked a similarly dressed fellow “is it ON, stupid?” Oh it’s on NOW, with you calling me names and such.

The shovel machine was friends with a dumptruck. The dumptruck left when it realized somebody had already dumped on this street. The yellow truck was actually blinking its lights now.


5:30pim: The loader was gone when I came out to make another departure, and suddenly from the right it came speeding toward the object on the left. At last! Then it slowed down and stopped again. I think the tree is getting the message. The yellow truck had turned off its lights in the meantime.


Somebody bought the flashlight, I surmise. A pity for the scarcity; the best part of blackouts is frosted mini-wits standing in the street, illuminating the ground in front of them and then courteously blinding me when I approach to walk past them because if I just felt like staring at unchanging darkness without going anywhere I’d have stayed inside.


An hour or some such thing later, at about 7 in the PM, the yellow truck is gone but the tree remains. But what’s this? A van has just arrived branded UI, United Illuminating, a company that actually deals with electricity. THIS blinking light will get the tree’s attention finally.


By 9pm the tree was still there, but we successfully set a record for most amount of diesel powered vehicles to idle outside a single apartment complex and then leave without doing anything.
I crossed the danger line to get this incredible footage. That was foolish, and I should not have put my life in peril. The wind blew a small speck of dirt into my left eye. But for 9:30pm, another truck shew up. THIS time it was one of those hauling/utility/whatnot trucks that I’m used to seeing around fallen objects during power outages. It left immediately. I’m glad some people still keep traditional values alive.


Eventually I went to my sleep lump, realizing my chances of the truck fairy compensating me for even one of them dwindled by the minute while I remained awake.


Ah I see. Yes of course, you’re supposed to bring in the noisy devastation machines after midnight so as to not disturb anybody. NOW things will be done.

For example, you can take pictures of the tree in a whole new context. I wish I’d written my website url on it.

A police car is over here. The tree is obviously resisting arrest. Collapsed in the street like that, it’s probably been abusing drugs. We expect to find high quantities of bud in its system, and not a little bit of weed.


On second thought we’ll let it go with a warning. But just this once! Goodnight folks. (imagine this is a picture of the loader rolling down the perpendicular street and not Snarf from Thundercats ambushing you in the dark)



6 Responses
  1. 1
    8:01 pm, August 30, 2011

    Jumbi sez:

    Haha it took “them” three days to pick up the tree that fell on the power line over here. Your commentary makes this sound way more fascinating than it probably actually was, though maybe you just didn’t have much else to do. Lots of things can be interesting, given your undivided attention!

  2. 2
    10:24 pm, August 30, 2011

    Uvprimlurx sez:

    It was disgustingly boring! I couldn’t figure out why so many people wanted to stand around staring at this dumb old tree. None of them cared while it stood. Of course I had been seeing it for hours and presumably most of the other folk were seeing it for the first time… maybe I just feel less special that I’m not the only person with a camera anymore. Also that somehow all these greenhorns have fancier cameras than I do.

    And then I was annoyed that my image collection didn’t effectively portray just how many there were, out there, doing that. They must have been more bored than I was!

    I had my sister to talk to, since her zone of residence had been evacuated, and I have a fair assortment of tasks that needed tending while the light lasted. My computer agreed to stay on for about three hours afterward. The following day I followed my sister to her employment quarters, which had outlets nobody bothered to stop me from using. Yet somehow it still took me two days to write this. And now I’m tired!

    What do you do without electricity?

  3. 3
    2:12 am, August 31, 2011

    The electronic brain sez:

    I suspect the tree was simply boldly defying stereotypes by refusing to make like the popular image of its kind and leave. Clearly this confounded the populace so that they could not help but engage in all manner of unseemly gawking. Yet hopefully this demonstration will encourage them to broaden their horizons a bit in the future concerning their expectations of plant behavior.

  4. 4
    12:33 am, September 1, 2011

    Jumbi sez:

    I actually pulled out a bunch of ceramic flower pots I had brought to college with me, that had been sitting in my room for several years. I thought it was going well until I waited for the paint to dry. When I picked up the pot to put on a second layer it flaked off all over my fingers and the floor.
    You could always get a flashlight and just read a book. Or is that too oldschool for you? Heh heh heh.

  5. 5
    12:18 am, September 3, 2011

    Patachu sez:

    glad you survived !

    and it’s true, the tree doesn’t looks like having any massive roots anchoring it in the ground, so there was already something not right. the elder man might have been wise in his analysis of the situation.

    thus said it’s impressive. all that deployment, taking pics, yellow tape, install a stop sign, take more photos, establish a strategy and wait for a response from the highest instances of the state to make a decision about the fate of the poor plant.
    and that happens on Sunday, none are supposed to be even working or caring ! respect. i mean, they wouldn’t send a crazy guy with a chainsaw to massacre the defenseless tree, that’s very human.

  6. 6
    10:29 pm, September 5, 2011

    Uvprimlurx sez:

    Yes yes, I suppose that makes sense. I forgot about Sunday.
    All the same it seems like whoever is in charge of dispatching the heavy equipment should be keeping track of whether the thing’s already gone out and come back without doing the job. There were other roads that had smaller obstructive branches on them which these trucks could have been removing without chainsaw intervention instead of waiting for it here.

    And for all I know that’s totally normal, but it’s weird to have it happening right outside my dwelling for a day and a half. Nobody actually started cutting until the second day!

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