April 19, 2019


Brienne of Norfair

i had meant to draw Brienne (from some book or tv show or something) with Samus (from some computer doohickey the kids like) years ago, but this came out instead, and more effectively distracts from my deficits drawing non-creature people.

i imagined the blood should be yellow but it doesn’t look like blood when i do that. and crocomire of course is not defeated like that, but it does insist on being attacked in the mouth.

I wrote an in-depth report explaining numerous reasons why this pictures was not functional and why I should have expected that to be the case. Exhibiting the report would likewise not be functional! None of it is anything new.
The lesson to be learned from all this is that there is no lesson because anything good that happens is a fluke occurrence. The only LOGICAL course of action is ignore all precedent and hope for magic, which I did and will likely continue to do. OR accept that I will never get anywhere and not try anything, which is not a viable option until I get on to some serious medication that makes me not care. For now, caring is inevitable.

Eh I posted it as a comment on the entry. It is not funny or trying to be, just sad and analytical.
A few hours later I removed that comment, but then I put it back. I am embarrassed merely that it exists, not due to any specific thing I said in it.



3 Responses
  1. 1
    11:51 pm, April 19, 2019

    Frimpinheap sez:

    I had been attempting to draw the character Brienne of Tarth from the television series Game of Thrones. Not Song of Ice and Fire; I have only read [most of] the first book in which she does not appear. I am told that the literary description of her appearance specifically denotes her as “ugly” apart for the eyes, although I made a pathetic attempt to incorporate the freckles that are also mentioned.
    However I failed, overall in my endeavor, and the failure could have been predicted, for the reasons which follow:
    ·I am not involved with Game of Thrones fandom. For my own good, I reckon. However, I ought to know from experience that I do not draw well enough to be accepted by a fandom that I do not outwardly embrace, even if in this rare circumstance I actually willingly partake of the subject matter.
    In the past I have attempted to draw and internet-exhibit certain moderately well-known things that I think are dumb but like some aesthetic features of, which is a pointless endeavor because it either reaches people I have nothing in common with or reaches nobody because they can tell I do not actually like it the way that they do. However,
    ·I did not base this Brienne on her most recent appearances, which features darker armor and combed hair. I also did not rewatch actual video recently to properly look the character over or even to obtain my own screenshots since I started this late and had an imaginary deadline. The reason I did not practice anything relevant to this in advance is because there is no time because I constantly need to be making something new because I am constantly trying to recover from the last new thing I did that did not work.
    ·Although “crossover” fanart is big dumb business, only certain things are permissible to be crossed over. Even though I personally heavily associated Brienne with Samus, apparently nobody else did. They associate old Samus with Ripley from the Alien film series and new Samus with every other generic large breasted token female video game hero. My previous cynical game of thrones-themed drawing, crossed with the cartoon series Peppa Pig that my niece heavily partook of in my presence for several years, was much better received because it is extremely easy to imitate that art style and there is a huge shared fandom between the murderiest show on television and a toddler-directed barely animated series in which nobody so much as gets slapped. OBVIOUSLY. Apparently both are popular with dipwit memesters. Tv memesters do not associate with video game memesters unless the video games are newer and the tv shows more fake-counterculture directed.
    ·although the peppa pigture also is an attempt to be humorous, just at the juxtaposition of content, while THIS today is not an attempt to be anything except a dumb crossover. Because I thought I might be alienating people by trying too hard to have a purpose. But I alienate whatever I do.
    · WITH THAT SAID, my 2018 picture from this same time of year was just as untraveled as this one was, but since *I* personally thought it was funny, I did not dwell on it as much afterward. Though I reckon I still did a little bit, there are not nearly as many things wrong with it outside of those that I intended. And I had no time for another Easter picture that I considered and might have thought was funny because because because because because… because of the pitiful things I does.
    ·outside of my immediately family, I do not have contact with anybody else who watches Game of Thrones. The most popular tv show in the world, a rare bridge between me and the dominant inescapable culture, and I do not know anybody ON the bridge. Artists who literally draw nothing that isn’t homaging something popular, often something over-sexualized or that fancies itself extra-edgy, and this one is too dirty for them.
    ·I am not good at drawing specific human beings anyway. Before I posted this anywhere I showed it to my sister, who is familiar both with Super Metroid and with Game of Thrones. She picked out crocomire but could not decide if the sword-wielding person was Vaan from Final Fantasy 12 or Tidus from Final Fantasy 10. When I explained who it was INTENDED to be, the response was, roughly “ohhhhhhhhhhh. The cape was throwing me off.” I wanted to post the picture before the first episode in over a year debuted, so instead of putting this away until I was capable of doing it better, I removed the cape and did not attempt any further field tests.
    ·A few people DID like the picture, in fact more than liked the Adol scene, but I believe only due to the crocomire or mere recognition of the effort i invested. Ironically, if I had just drawn the crocomire alone in the cave, or even in a white void, this picture probably would have been more accepted. It would look like nobody did it, which is, to a staggering amount of people, preferable to it looking like somebody who is nobody did it.
    The original “plan” was to draw both Brienne and Samus together, and I had meant to do it years ago, but when I finally got to it, figured including a monster to represent one of the factions, so to speak, would be both easier and more interesting than two plain humans, even though both wear weird armor.. As Game of Thrones lacks any iconic specific large monsters and I had specifically wanted to depict Brienns for some reason, I decided to go with Ridley. However, I had wanted to draw the Ridley from the NES game’s manual, which would not be recognizable to most pertinent people, but I have seen far too many dull drawings of newer Ridleys that appear in newer games I have no interest in playing or watching being played (oddly enough nobody seems to pair Ripley with Ridley, which I thought the most possibly obvious thing and usually the obvious is beloved, provided it looks like nobody did it). I knew Crocomire was both recognizable and less common. However, Crocomire is only vulnerable in its mouth, and too tall to be struck on the mouth, much less within it by a substantially smaller person holding a sword, which greatly limited my posing options. One of the few unofficial crocomire drawings I found included Samus jumping down at it, which meant I could not use that pose. Therefore I was left only with this one, even though there is no record of any non-cartoon character attacking anything in this manner, and Brienne specifically does not use a two-handed sword. All these things taken together result in a work with no value to anybody and that now bothers me to look at and recognize as such, and remember all these things about at once. However it was not my biggest art-related flop of 2019 or even of that specific week.

    I will be seeing a theapy-type-person for the first time in twelvish years next week. It may be necessary for me to leave this text in place to avoid filling my first session with it.

  2. 2
    3:44 pm, May 3, 2019

    Charmlatan sez:

    Seeking therapy or therapy-like help can be frightening, at least for me. Expensive too. I hope that the therapy-like session(s)(?) are going well.

    Also, have you done your ( P )atronize page yet? At least to grand-elder yourself in.

  3. 3
    4:01 pm, May 3, 2019

    Frimpinheap sez:

    I am not frightened beyond worrying about getting to appointments on time or just not feeling like going, which often happened during the years when I was forced into weekly appointments. I freely offer up personal details of my life to almost anyone. I might be better off if i DID find it a scarier idea!
    The situation I had in 2006-8ish i cannot remember that made me quit therapy altogether is mostly no longer a factor and I have a bit more control of where I go and when, and won’t tolerate terrible advice like I used to, so it seemed worth trying again.
    The page I will mention when it is available. I made the accompanying video too big a job for what it is, which is “mostly irrelevant.”

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them`s fightin` woids: July 18, 2019
Purplespace sez:
Not sure why they would prefer BB8, the robot that fixes electrical shorts by trying to plug...
July 13, 2019
Frimpinheap sez:
I think they would do well to apply less of everything!
July 11, 2019
Purplespace sez:
Some of those they at least tried to stay on the character model! Clearly they needed more of...
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July 3, 2019
Charmlatan sez:
Best nemitz! Have a good time. Thanks for the warning!
June 29, 2019
Charmlatan sez:
Very relatable comic entry. I too gain more weight when I’m anxiety ridden and stressed out.
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