September 14, 2008

This one is sort of frightening itself. When does it stop, ehhh?

regarding the website item immediately prior to this one:
Yusk, was I really that mad about “milf?” Jim, why won’t you talk to me? It’s been almost three weeks. I think I’ve finally gone fully psychotic. We need to get me eating some mad pills, yo. I was obsessed with the fear that if I did not complete and upload that there soon, the season premier of Saturday Night Live would steal my points and I’d look like I was copying it, and badly, because despite talking big rubbish about it for years I obviously still watch it. That is not a fear a proper person has. Nevermind that this is national news which people, among them superior satirists who don’t take the whole summer off, have been discussing for quite a while now, and the closest anyone has come to accusing me of plagiarism was suggesting that the frightfully proportioned proto-dopes in my ill-everythinged Doom levels looked like Pikmins, which I had up to then not seen and had assumed to be more retroactive pikachu ancestors I didn’t need to worry about.

In the end it didn’t matter because I failed to get the piece out before 9:34.24 pm, and I checked and there was only one recorded access to “milf.png” between then and 11:45 pm eastern normal time other than my own so it is still plausible that I watched the first sketch and shoved it through an eemo filter in the fifteen minutes before Sunday. Or worse, I wrote it right now and just changed the date. Even if nobody thinks that, just the fact that I thought they would means I need/have some real problems. Even if nobody who watches that show also reads this, because it is essential for my survival to pretend everybody reads this.

Inexplicable topic change:
Regarding the recently deceased Don LaFontaine, I found it odd, and I found it odd that I found it odd, that a man who had been dead for three days was talking to me through my television about movies which wouldn’t be released for another three. Including making specific reference to the near future, as in “starts Friday!” or “starts tomorrow!” You can’t say it starts tomorrow because you were dead yesterday! The only way you can mean that would be if it actually started the day before yesterday, but it starts tomorrow! Of course he recorded those in advance, but it was still weird! But now I find it even odder, hearing “now playing” ads in a different voice that’s trying to sound like his voice, as if he’s Porky Pig or something and a new guy can just take over. Yes, but no!

Clarification:
My problem isn’t just that Disney suddenly has a food brand, but that it’s a major food brand, getting prominent placement in a super-market where one of the primary features is usually cited that all the big brands are there. Also, how many other companies make ravioli and raisins? Would you buy a Ragu brand graphing calculator? More to the point, if Ragu made graphing calculators, would you expect to see these in a store without a special obligation to sell every type of graphing calculator?

Christmas Enzyte Watch: last sighted August 29. By Yuri, this will stop it. And when I say watch I don’t mean actually watch the ads. Not even for a second, not even with the sound mute. They’ve come on so many times I can detect the specific analog frequency of their scan lines.



5 Responses
  1. 1
    4:51 pm, September 14, 2008

    Pigbuster sez:

    This is neither related nor relevant to the vital matter at hand, but it may be worthwhile for someone to know that this link I provide below shows that your website soundly defeats blankheads.com in a rousing battle of word usage that results in a score of 197:87.
    http://therarestwords.com/vs/bimshwel.com/blankheads.com

    I am not sure what point blankheads.com is trying to make, and I am also not sure why the site of word rarity warz saw it as such a worthy competitor to yours to be the default match-up. I also am not entirely sure how I got to that page in the first place. The world is full of mysteries!

    I would’ve e-mail-ed this tidbit to you, but that seemed more difficult and/or awkward than necessary.
    I fear this may be even more awkward, however. Arg!

  2. 2
    9:31 pm, September 14, 2008

    That darn cat sez:

    Eh, I didn’t really have any objections to the last entry. I actually found it rather amusing. I don’t think anyone really watches Saturday Night Live these days, anyway.

    It should be noted, however, that before reading the subsequent clarifying sentence, I had assumed you were suggesting that you had once witnessed Garfield using the term “Milf” in 1994. This was most a mosr regrettable association, as I rather prefer to avoid thinking too deeply about Garfield’s sexual preferences and/or exploits. The penultimate line of the same entry only served to reinforce these undesirable images.

    Incidentlly, the term “milf” has apparently experienced some use as a means of positive self-identification, as witnessed by an individual I once encountered bearing a T-shirt with the text “Future MILF”. This of course causes some semantic problems, as it actually suggests that the wearer would, in fact, enjoy the opportunity to copulate with herself (a suggestion which in the vernacular is almost invariably used as a perjorative form of dismissal). One could, of course, avoid this by changing altering the text to “Future MYLF”, thereby suggesting the afforementioned desire to be on the part of the reader, but this necessarily sacrifices the recognizability of the acronym in question. It also even more strongly evokes the connection to Garfield’s private pastimes which you were oh-so-generous to share with the public at large.

  3. 3
    2:15 pm, September 15, 2008

    Eesklipisk sez:

    pig:
    I actually did see that already, I’m sad to say. I’m sad to say it because that sort of discovery only comes with typing “bimshwel” into google every week.
    I saved a picture of the results as “bimshwel vs blankheads yesss i’m slightly better than the worst site ever made!.png”
    It bothered me a bit that most of the words the other had over me were only counted as unique because they were misspelled or not words at all. I consider words made up to fit a situation more viable than big clumps of radio station identifiers.
    I think whatever two sites are beside each other alphabetically are matched, but then that would suggest not many are included on the site, and if that is the case, why either of those?
    I consider rarestwords #1 site, “onlybombay.blogspot,” a more worthy competitor,
    http://therarestwords.com/vs/bimshwel.com/onlybombay.blogspot.com
    and even that wasn’t quite close. I wonder how it works.

    regarding e-mail, are you saying you couldn’t find my address or that it just isn’t working? I’ve been rather paranoid about the second issue lately.

    and cat:
    I imagine if I switched my posts with your comments I’d have even more rare word points.
    I am fairly well acquainted with some people who consider it, I have to assume, a form of brilliant social commentary to depict popular commercial characters as well as, inexplicably, their own friends which they don’t hate, engaging in particularly lewd acts, alone or otherwise. Would you believe it’s no less unpleasant and actually uglier that way than when it’s done with sincerity?

  4. 4
    1:13 am, September 16, 2008

    Pigbuster sez:

    @Eesk etc.

    I had actually expected you to have known about that site when I saw a couple familiarly articulate definitions (just so you know you didn’t waste your time, I did see the ones you just added, and there was much laughter to be had by all).

    I don’t know what mystifying algorithms Rarestwords.com uses to collect their data, but I suspect that they are not entirely sound. I doubt that the name of Baron Von Chocula has only been mentioned in 65 passages of text in the entirety of the internet, and it seems shameful that even though Bim Sh Wel .com can defeat the Rarestwords champion, that champion continues to be the champion. There is much corruption in this tournament! I saw we go on strike.

    As for the e-mail, I found your address easily enough, but I thought it would be weird to send some ramblings off to someone who is essentially a stranger.
    I’ll send something right now to test your account, I guess. Or I should say SENT since I did that just now.

  5. 5
    12:32 pm, September 17, 2008

    Eesklipisk sez:

    When someone writes comments I generally read them as e-mail anyhow, so there’s not a tremendous difference. I am glad to have my e-mail fear momentarily suppressed, but at the same time rather sad.

feed comments.

Sorry, the comment form is apologizing at this time. Which probably means I got tired of deleting robot comments off this post. It is unfortunate, but generally very few actual people have anything to say to me.

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