June 29? I am trying to write something about toothpaste. Hopefully you can excuse me for not having the rushes of inspiration and motivation necessary to finish quickly.
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June 27: I’m not sure if my left eye actually hurts or if I just imagine it is in pain because every time I see it in a mirror it more and more resembles planet Jupiter.
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Busy busy busy. How am I always busy? Where are the time and effort going? (away)
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June 25: I’m not surprised that Michael Jackson is dead today. I’m surprised that he was alive yesterday.
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Why go to the restaurant? Just watch its page on the facebook. This sign is near the place, and the address confirms that (It confirms that if you are there in person and know where you are), but advertising an actual product or service was pre-nine eleven thinking. They trust that I will go to some website and type in their name more than they trust me to just go straight to their own website. Or their place of business where I give them money.
And yes, I did go to the face book, locate the search space and type “cuckoo’s nest” into it, but only for the purpose of researching my complaint about the sign telling me to do that. If I thought it was a good idea… I would have also done it. I suppose. But all this is irrelevant because either way a business has paid for a sign which tells me to do a thing which gets the business no dollars.
I guess the idea is that you go home and watch the page, so that the place can periodically remind you that it exists on occasions when you might not otherwise have considered visiting it. Which is fine, from a marketing standpoint, but as an internet user I find it pointless. I joined facebook to better communicate (in theory) with family members and friend members who do not dare engage me directly. I get absolutely nothing out of confessing to the emotionless second-hand webpage of some joint that I enjoy visiting it. And I don’t like visiting it, really. I like Margarita’s and Across the Border better. We mustn’t forget Jalapeno Heaven, either. Even Baja is better, and you know how Baja is.
The best part about going to Cuckoo’s Nest is that you get to see this stupid gargoyle that’s in front of a house near Cuckoo’s Nest. And since it has no legs it can’t follow you around and pull any gargoyle business on you.
If every other fauxican place in southern Connecticut except Su Casa mysteriously gets mauled by skeletons and explodes I’ll consider visiting Cuckoo’s Nest again. Or maybe if I just become coo-coo. Seven year old me should find that last sentenceoid particularly poignant and clever.
Hamsters dominates them both. Also in the running but with some catching up to do is
Hamsters. In a distant third is
Hamsters. But what’s this?!
DUCKS. I should have known.
GET OUT OF THE ROAD, DUCK!
In other news, I do not support dopes.
And neither should you.
An unused fish that can't swim. sez:
I hate hamsters. Absolutely detest them. They’re gluttonous, violent, stupid, disgusting creatures, and they eat their own babies. I really, really can’t grasp the popular fascination with them, nor understand how they manage to become such popular pets at the expense of various similar, but more intelligent/sociable/non-repulsive creatures.
Also, one would be hard pressed to find a less flattering picture of beans than the one showed above. I think such a change would likely ring with it a significant rise in bean-fan membership.
Finkeldey Fabrax sez:
Hamster was just the first weird named thing I thought of that I knew would have a bunch of facebook groups devoted to it with none being sport teams or various other organizations. I am trying to spend less time fussing over details like that.
I am fascinated by hamster wheels. Other creatures make use of them, but they’re named after hamsters. The animal has to run in this stupid wheel continuously because it can’t go outside of its box. It’s tragic, but it’s also sort of funny if you are of the belief that the creature is so dumb that it doesn’t feel like it’s wasting its life running inside a wheel in a box. I tend to assume that they do feel this way, though, so I could never keep something like that. Not unless I was willing to build one of those enormous McDonald’s PlayPlacetm-like translucent tube fortresses for the lump to make its way through. I am not. Even if I was, there’d be no guarantee the sentient beanbag would actually do anything but continue to run in the wheel. And then I would be depressed for different reasons.
I don’t understand the “pet” appeal of any living being one must keep in a little box. Any thing that’s too small, or in the case of reptiles, too apparently-dead-most-of-the-time to have an actual relationship-like regard for each other with. Anything that’s so small you could step on it and decimate it and not realize you’d done so right away. Most cats are scumbags, but still, that’s something. The local beast sees me, to some extent, as a co-resident and not just some enormous thing that manipulates the circumstances of his enclosure. And he can go outside and run away if he wants. I would have to let a hamster go, and I doubt it would go far.
Fish might be nice, I suppose, but only as mobile decor that must be fed (and not too much).
Michael sez:
Hey, have you seen this news article?
New details about Michael Jackson’s Death Emerge
I was wondering if you were going to blog about this…
Finkeldey Fabrax sez:
I don’t have to now that you have miraculously come back to life.
Hitler sez:
Hey…what do you say to a little copyright violation? It’ll be just like old times.
Finkeldey Fabrax sez:
The old times were quite bad. Hitler, you and I are not on good terms.
Hitler sez:
Yeah, yeah…This’ll be great, though, I promise. Hitler Youth’s honor. Really, you don’t even have to do all that much. Just put a wall of me behind a popular character (or even a non-popular character whose creator has delusions of grandeur), and I’ll take care of the rest. It’ll be a blast.
Afterwards we can eat some Dunkaroos. I know you like the Dunkaroos.
Finkeldey Fabrax sez:
Dunkaroos? Well… ah…
Oh, go hitle yourself.