Have you ever thought “gosh, I wish EVERYTHING I saw seemed like it was through broken venetian blinds?”
After taking this picture, I found out without wishing to from people I came across without wishing to that supposedly Kanye “my first name is in pig latin” West wears glasses like this, which makes them marketable. I wish an emulated-beyond-reason celebrity would take up a seriously bizarre bit of fashion. No more of this wrong colored band aid business, I’m going to wear a propellor beanie or a cardboard Burger King crown in public.
SPEAKING of cardboard burger king crowns…
First of all, skulls again! But at least they sort of make sense in the context of hats. That’s about the only thing they can wear besides glasses. But more importantly, on the left: I can’t tell if this is a retro trendy throwback $20 Hot Topic Burger King crown, or a free one that a recent classy mall diner just forgot about. Or perhaps an actual king on a really tight budget mistakenly left it here.
Tah! KING GRAHAM! Liege of Daventry, lore’s most destitute fictional monarchy. Despite owning a magical treasure box that CREATES gold (and leads to massive inflation, but we’ll discuss that some other time), a magical shield that is impervious to all perils, and a magic mirror, that, one assumes, he can see his own reflection in, King Graham still dresses like the Men without Hats (despite having a hat; this may just be to prove that he also can’t read) and regularly incurs fatal abuse in really stupid ways without much resistance. Sure, he always comes back to life, but that is a skill also common among many digital heroes who aren’t kings. Additionally, it is my guess is that through some means it will come about that Graham can’t win the game without his meat monarch crown, but he won’t realize that until much later.
It FIGURES King Graham is in league with dopes. But I tell you this: I download no roms from no dopes. I only went there for turbografx cd ISOs. The dopes were none the wise, much less wiser.
There is a reason nobody wears those anymore.
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Text box sez:
Watch out for those critters, Graham.
A spider sez:
Let’s spide.
Umpulurgit sez:
Why would I want to spide with you? I couldn’t possibly keep up. All your friends would laugh at me. Critting is really more my style.
L'amour Toujours sez:
I’ll spide with you. I’ll spide with yoooooooooooo!
Spiyda Boi sez:
Watch me spide it, watch me roll!
Umpulurgit sez:
I would rather eat six beets than watch you spide!
Spiyda Boi's PR officer sez:
Spiyda Boi would like to apologise for that innapropriate display. He is currently in rehabilitation for his excessive spiyding tendencies.
Umpulurgit sez:
No, no, you misunderstand. I was just about to eat my dinner of six beets, and I truly could not have kept myself from them for one more moment. Not even for the most splendid and swell spiyding display. Such is the intensity and passion I experience when beets are involved.
A spider plant sez:
Plants can spide, too!
Umpulurgit sez:
In other news, plants should never spide.