July 23, 2010

ehhh

As you may be aware, I traveled Out West two months ago. I purchased sunglasses specially for the occasion. At a CVS.


I also purchased an x-treme toothbrush.

At the sun glass spinny display object were mirrored surfaces to observe the sight of one’s self wearing the sun-spectacles. However, since people are vain idiots or presumed to be vain idiots, the mirrors are “slimming” and thus I could not find a set of glass that did not make my head look narrow and there’s a certain width that I expect sunglasses to cover and these now were only as wide as my narrow head. I had to take all the candidates over to the makeup counter mirror and test them there (makeup counter not shown because somebody dared me to not take a picture of it and also because the Stop & Shop I actually took the last picture at didn’t have a makeup counter). I tried many options. While all this was going on the people passing around me probably wondered why I was so conceited to need the big mirror, and if I was so concerned about my appearance why I was wearing sweatpants.
I was wearing sweatpants because I had just taken all of my decent clothes to be washed at the world’s scariest laundromat.

Excuse me, I meant


When did we get to Arkansas?

However, now I cannot locate my sunglasses.

What do YOU want? Not my sweatpants, evidently. Even though I have lots of pants but only one set of sunglasses. Well I DID but now I have NONE and this monster thinks it’s entitled to smile at me on such an occasion or ever?

Nemitz… why does it live? Nemitz = MAXIMUM SCUMBAG. This summer Nemitz IS Captain Crumbum. nemitz, you have big trouble coming your way in the form of me coming your way.

Nemitz is a hobo. Nemitz is a bozo. Nemitz is a yo-yo. Nemitz is the logo for “oh no.” Nemitz should GO the way of the dodo. Nemitz’s academic scores are so-so. Nemitz has similar views on ethics as Hojo from Final Fantasy 7. Hojo is also the only hotel nemitz will stay at which makes travel arrangements difficult since most of those went out of business.

Deservedly so, though.

How ever did nemitz become such a scumbag? I do not understand how that happened. That thing should know enough to NOT be nemitz. Nemitz is an incorrigible, indefensible scoundrel. There is NO EXCUSE for IT doing what IT does. I refuse to corrige such things. I cannot stand idly by while nemitz is tolerated. In fact, nemitz has consistently ranked in the top ten scoundrel index since I first invented the index a moment ago.

I previously thought nemitz had gotten happy by thinking about itself being happy. But it is also possible that it was sad until it realized I could see it. Neither of these are good situations. NEMITZ. I need it gone! I need that outta here.

I heard nemitz stole a Volvo. Nemitz’s favorite songs are Kokomo, Row Row Row Your Boat and anything by Bono*. I wonder if elpse realizes that nemitz’s favorite Double Dragon character is Abobo. Nemitz has rigged elections in Togo. Nemitz is a variety bucket of things that sound like “hobo.”

I want to hire nemitz just so i can fire it. It should go to jail forever and become a burden of the tax-payers. See how long they put up with that.
Urf. Nemitz. I’ll put that thing on a conveyor belt and keep punching it back as it comes forward. I’ll throw a tenement at nemitz. I’ll throw 700 tennis balls and a Tengen cartridge at nemitz.

Nemitz doesn’t realize Duck Maze was not made by Tengen. Of course I’ll probably discover that nemitz likes ducks and mazes, anyhow.

However, only the mouse shall escape!

NO ONE ESCAPES.


*Bono of the U2 band and not Sonny Bono because Nemitz deliberately mispronounces things to irritate people which is of course a no-no



4 Responses
  1. 1
    2:38 am, July 24, 2010
    A cockapoo sez:

    Are we to assume from the cover image that Escape From the Maze is a response to Who Moved My Cheese?

    And why are you wasting time yelling at Nemitz when dopes terrorize the land as we speak? Why, I even saw one at the very top of this comment page. I suspect this entire anti-Nemitz tirade is nothing more than a feeble attempt to distract the public from your own negligence on the dope security front.

  2. 2
    10:38 pm, July 24, 2010
    Frubaklop sez:

    If this is a sequel I am somewhat upset that after all that time complaining the mouse(s) isn’t even using its escape mechanism to determine where the cheese had been moved to. Aren’t you at least curious, mouse?

    Time spent yelling at nemitz is never wasted. Perhaps, theoretically, the time could be better applied to dope abuse, but it wasn’t a dope that stole my sunglasses! Nemitz is like a bigger, more dangerous dope that also eats things.

  3. 3
    12:25 am, March 25, 2011
    bimshwel.com sez:

    Bimshwel.. Great idea :)

  4. 4
    12:49 am, March 25, 2011
    Zinkugel sez:

    Is the idea here to trick me into blocking the whole website, thereby preventing myself from blocking any more robots? By Gumbi I might be daft enough to do it. They’re continually finding new random things that are sold to blarg the name of all over the place. Diaper rash ointment, online psychics, ceiling fans. Are they really such a red hot item that 200 links to ceiling fan merchants are going to generate big buck$? No of course not. I’ve just blocked the name of every drug and vaguely sexual terminology so this is the only way they can say anything. I am surprised enough to learn that there ARE online ceiling fan merchants, so if there actually aren’t my surprise will recede considerably. If I wake up tomorrow and find 3000 BIMSHWELs floating about here I I I O U and sometimes Y.

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