look at this, candy accumulated by my seven-year-old niece on Halloween, even two nights later, after she went to bed, and there is still good stuff left and milk duds. Where was this kind of payout when I was that age? No necco wafers, no monster munny, no bit-o-honey, no good-n-plenty, laffy taffy, walnuts, candy corn. Meanwhile, maybe twelve or fewer actual children came to my house collecting candy this year. Based on that and the load before me there must be substantially more people giving out candy than going out to be given candy. AND behold the humble expectations of this shoddy little plastic bucket. everyone i knew in the oaf days brought a big old pillow case or shopping bag when collecting, and probably ended up with less stuff than this in it.
granted, in addition to the shoddy stuff I don’t see, I also don’t the generally edible whoppers, 100 grand, rolos, junior mints, not even nerds or bottle caps. There are definitely fewer TYPES of candy being given out. Some of the fun of collecting is in the weird variety, and there isn’t much here. Did everybody in this area go to the same store? SOME of whom may have done an inordinate amount of shopping at that same store after hearing a local rumor that kids from other neighborhoods get driven over to this one in great numbers and quickly deplete the candy reserves of those who are unprepared?
maybe that is a local hazing prank. This is all the candy that was left over, not including what was still in the offering bowl. I had naught to do with it, however; I never buy reese’s junk. Because I want to be able to eat it afterward if nobody comes to take it. I noticed, with rare exception, the chocolate variety bulk packages at stores -always- try to force some peanut butter junk in there because peanut butter is cheaper for the companies than chocolate but they can charge the same amount and also get to act like it is a feature. I hate Reese.
and now you’re disgusting. I don’t know WHO it is but I want to KILL Reese with a spoon. To think I felt BAD for him when I watched Terminator. saying “not sorry” is like saying “not gonna lie” or “wait for it” in that it communicates absolutely no direct information but does provide indirect information that you should be punched in the nose.
I saw this and questioned if charleston chew was anybody’s favorite anything, except for adults who enjoy punishing children at halloween. They look like they are firm on the outside and soft on the inside and will be pleasant to bite into, but they have the same pencil eraser-like consistency the whole way through. Afterward I experienced an, i thought, unusually high amount of replies claiming to actually enjoy eating these things. to be fair, while frozen, something I never thought to do as a child, but did find necessary and functional with incidental milk duds in later years. Meanwhile reese cups remain distasteful to me at any temperature in ever-growing numbers, while Charleston Chew, good old Charlie C, who was always there for me, and I never realized it, thought I hated him and left town. Has Reese ruined my one true chance at happiness?
A bit more disturbing to me personally, the mother of some children across the street, prior to seeing off her brood for the candy-grab jaunt, was talking to my sister about one of her sons, who appeared to be dressed as Iceman from Megaman, of all things, with a pale face and blue parka, though I could not hear what she was saying. I saw my sister issue a gesture of “no I don’t know what that is” as I got closer. Then the mother saw and turned to me instead, to ask, “are you familiar with the video game under tayul?” and having that suddenly off the internet and real was so bizarre and unpleasant that I forgot what was real and half-consciously said “i try not to be” without considering that the person wearing that costume could hear me, and I noticed he looked rather sullen in the moments afterward before the group journeyed onward. Or maybe he is always like that. Or maybe that is part of the character, despite the smirky memes I have been accosted by. I didn’t exactly say “it is so ubiquitous and associated with easily-manipulable socially mutated mediocrity fetishizing cultists who think they are great people that it literally makes me sad and unlike the cartoon horse worship of ten years ago it never goes away because its members have convinced themselves it is “independent” even though people with followings larger than the population of Estonia have been financing and promoting it since before it existed” so I may be overthinking the incident. Having that as a costume, an unrecognizable cheap costume at that, for a few hours, is a long way from trying to sell or trying look like you are in good with people who sell non-fungible tokens. All he wanted were fudgible tokens.
NO, “trunk or treat” is NOT normal, it should not BECOME normal, nor should it become twit-commercialized and robbed of what little organic value it has. potentially the fact that I didn’t see any discounted candy but did find a full display of these on november 5 indicates that it isn’t being bought like it’s normal yet. Not that I NEED discounted candy because my house is already overflowing with full price “but it was on sale” pre-halloween candy but I still like to check on it and see how it is doing.
I should be glad I haven’t see under terror merchandise in any stores, (as much as twitter dorks will go quite out of their ways to let me know they acquired some) even though I know substantially more about every nuance of it without ever once trying than Overwatch, which I HAVE seen on junk at the super market, yet the only fact I know about it is that one of the main characters wears ridiculous skin-tight yellow pants. I suppose I could call the lot of them under-desired and over-exposed. haaaaaah my back hurts.
I was yesterday made aware of this via a blurry phonetograph of truck spotted on the highway:
the 1990s deviantart-anime-webcomic mister t logo and slogan were bad enough, but the doofus narrator actually says “we pity the stool” in what I assume is a mr.t impression voice at the end of this terrible video. As a profoundly white being myself I, personally, don’t care if a white guy wants to try and impersonate a black guy’s voice if he happens to be good at it, but this one is very bad at it.
what is with this drawing? Am I supposed to want this guy to come to my house and beat up my pipes? And risk getting his jewelry dirty?
I am sure the company has a lawyer that assured everyone involved, first of all, that “#1 plumber in connecticut” is an ambiguous enough set of words to not need to strictly be proven, and also that “a-team” is a generic phrase uncopyrighted with regard to plumbing, and that as long as the cartoon is vague and is never explicitly identified as being a representation of Lawrence Tureaud akadaka “Mr. T” this is totally legal and acceptable. It is still stupid and embarrassing and not sure if it is targeting 50-70 year olds who would actually have watched the a-team and own homes now or 30-40 year olds who knew Mr. T as a proto-meme (in my case twenty years ago literally drawn over a proto-man) and were aware that he said “i pity the fool” about something on some occasion but probably rely on a landlord or equivalent entity to deal with broken home infrastructure, but in neither instance would he be associated with quality leak-fixing services.
And as far as I can tell, T’s character B A Baracus never wore gold chains on The A Team nor vowed to pity fools, but that doesn’t matter; the point is that I don’t know what the point is.
the website makes absolutely no mention of the logo, Mr.T or anything to do with the a-team television program (nor thankfully the insufferable yet equally unrelated to the tv show or plumbing ed sheeran song), but does appear to be promoting that its employees are pushy and looking for silly things to charge you for.
Benjamin Franklin makes much more sense because he was historically about three feet tall and did carry around a wrench almost as big and crawl about in human waste dressed in goofy 18th century government garb and a wig.
i presume this all started when some university dork saw an ad for an “a-1 plumbing” service and then thought
why does a french fry truck need an obnoxious star trek reference –that I only know IS a star trek reference from witnessing so many obnoxious references to it– as its name and slogan? the same reason a plumbing company needs a confused Mr. T reference: it doesn’t but the boss said it had to.
it apparently no longer says “resistance is futile” on the webpage or the trucks but the rest of the goony text mess remains. I would assume this guy also made Streptococcus Paiella with A-Team plumbing’s artist if I didn’t remember that it doesn’t exist because I made that page myself as a joke. Clearly I missed the point of life and everything that is a joke to me is a potentially lucrative business. “Jon” talking about himself talks like I did on web pages that I soon after hoped and stopped short of praying would eventually be purged from existence because everybody rightfully hated me for talking like that. I tried to stop being a corny idiot instead of doubling down on it and having the money to buy a truck lying around.
I never ate cinnamon toast crunch as a child or adult nor actively sought memes so perhaps that limited my mind from entering the contentedly mediocre state necessary to lose all shame and shill at everyone I know to get them to finance my grand bland garbage aspirations, and now the living embodiment of that has been US president for almost four years, and people in my own family that I never asked for money voted for him and look forward to doing so again. But I do not request pity; save that for the stool.
WAT. new character redesigns for 2012 guys. $80 commission from brunchmeatmccarthy on etsy. These have been long coming, quite honestly :/ god i love this. they look delicious *eats* *nomnom* ah I am satiated
It seems like only last post I was talking about how it would be the final of the year. And so, we have another year, and with a new year come new opportunities, new adventures, new people, new ideas, 12 all new gladiators. As it has been often said, gone away is the rue year, here to stay is the new year, at least for another year. What inspiration will today’s year bring?
AARRRRRRRRRRRRP! bulletin
Everything’s the same as before! Everything’s just as stupid as it used to be! I was a fool to have hope!
But anyway, as this helpful, awkward, contractual obligaty cobranding moment –in which Terrence “Hulk Huggin'” Bolero appeared on the World Wrestling Ehhh for the first time in a couple years for approximately three minutes to promote his new deal and was never seen again– informed me not terribly long ago, the American Gladiators will be “””back””” on January 6ifth. Even though none of the same people seem to be involved. I’d like to make some proper comparison pointing out all the apparent differences which displease me, but in actuality I would not like to do that. And I don’t have to, because the advertising makes no secret of big changes.
This is not your grandmother’s American Gladiatort.
That from Hogan, Hulk Hogan, who’s almost old enough to be my grandmother. And what if it was my grandmother’s american gladiators? My grandmother had good taste.
But in reality, my grandmothers did not watch american gladiators. One of them was British at the appointed time and can not be assumed to have had the ability nor patriotic privelege to have watched. So they did not watch american gladiators. I did. When I was twelve years old. In the full time space of television it really wasn’t on regularly all that long ago. Therefore, I am my own grandmother.
What I always thought the show lacked were loud sparkly things and winners standing around boasting. Also, hosts who I know and/or will be constantly reminded the names of. I can’t tell you who or what hosted the other show. It may have been no one. It wasn’t important. I also like hosts who stand around acting tough but are totally uninvolved with any physical competition. The other host is Laila Ali, who is probably a preferable satiating of “the biz’s” un-stoppable/explainable nepotism hunger than Brooke Hogan.
I used to have some great pictures of the episode of Family Matters where Steve and Carl battle each other on the old geriatric American Gladiators, but even if I still do it’s anyone’s guess what I saved them as or where I put them. The internet also has a tendency to swallow up helpful websites where you can find episode specific images from tv shows and replace them with useless empty automatically generated subsections on various clone directories of nothing with “tv” in their urls. At no point in human history have there ever been greater collections of nothing by nobody for nobody than at whatever the current moment might be on the internet. If that’s not enough, they all want me to log in and write their pages for them. Like this is my fault.
There’s also no shortage of “hey, remember that episode of Family Matters where Carl and Steve were on American Gladiators?” comments saying nothing at all else turned up from dopey weblogs with probably as much substance, all regarding the new nbc program. Doesn’t anybody have anything unique to offer that’s not simply a regurgitation of non-information or an acknowledgment of a vague memory? Who let this happen?!
Like this is my fault.
Not that it’s the commentators’ faults that every not necessarily intended to be significant thing they say is recorded by search engines, but certainly the engines themselves could detect some distinctions among the various bits of data they collect, and additionally allow me to tell them which to tell me about. Ehhhm.
No! Don’t turn to face me! Didn’t you hear the abuse I just directed at you? I want nothing to do with you! Arrrgh! What’s wrong with you? You look like an idiot! (you are.) And don’t smile! You’re biologically unfit to do so!
Ubggggggigiggg…. There’s no excuse for that beast. None at all. How do these things find me?! I want to throw a sock full of rocks at that thing! I want to throw TV’s Roc Charles S. Dutton, at it! You hear me, lizard? I’ll throw a very special Roc at you! In front of a live studio audience! I wish that show got better ratings so I could shame you in front of as many people as possible, not necessarily because it would have lasted more seasons then, because I always found it boring. I learned about racism through Family Matters. But I didn’t learn enough, evidently, because I thought the family on Roc were essentially the same people, and I was disappointed when they weren’t as wacky. I was eight years old. But anyway. What’s important is that I want to throw a large fat man at that thilly thmiling theropod up thither.
Whaaaa? That’s too stupid! And don’t you dare try and make that my problem! I hate ducks and I hated you before you were a duck! I hope this will at least serve as a warning to other dumb animal people that would attempt to address me. I will have none of it.
Fool, how could you not see that coming? Look at the original juxtaposition of the images! You are beside yourself with imbecility! And… and… I drew you at 2:50 am! That’s not afternoon at all! If it was, it would not be good! You made it bad!
I don’t know which one to beat up first. The left for starting this or the right for following and being proud of that plus its previous crimes. One thing certain is that this preposterous pair do not deserve such elegant fingers.
Off the chain? You’d be OFF MY FRIEND LIST if you were on it and I was the sort of person who considered that an acceptable way of communicating disapproval. I don’t adhere to latest trends anyway, but I certainly don’t trust stupid smiling partially dressed animal people to tell me what those are!
As for the bow tie beanoid, that thing is ECSTATIC. It’s so proud to be wearing a head chain and a bow tie. As long as it can wear the bow tie it will do whatever it thinks is popular. That twit is just a crony. That’s all. It has no real talents. it uses its sychophantic skills to obtain positions of relative power and tries to get laws enacted about stupid things like bow ties. It has information… it knows things (despite being a thing which lacks a nose)… It knows bombs are being sent, and by whom, but it keeps quiet just because its bow tie seems to be respected. It demands not only that any possible sub ordinates wear bow ties, but that the bow ties be smaller than its own. Trust me, I saw its diary.
The bow tie beast could never survive in the wild. It has no natural defenses with which to fight back and no legs with which to evade peril altogether. All it has is big arms. Although the grimp does evidently have opposing thumbs, the thing can’t make and use tools; it is a tool. If it invited me to its birth-day party I would give it a one of these. I’m not just some stupid animal so I’d do it properly.
I have pages and pages of this.