Comic stripsnow with correct link
Exhibitionshave been lacking
About page
icon4 icon19 icon7 icon10 icon16 icon19 icon25

Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
October 19, 2020
Mr. Pizza will be remembered for his passion for law and spending a record 45 years in the Lucas County Prosecutor’s Office.

I was yesterday made aware of this via a blurry phonetograph of truck spotted on the highway:

the 1990s deviantart-anime-webcomic mister t logo and slogan were bad enough, but the doofus narrator actually says “we pity the stool” in what I assume is a mr.t impression voice at the end of this terrible video. As a profoundly white being myself I, personally, don’t care if a white guy wants to try and impersonate a black guy’s voice if he happens to be good at it, but this one is very bad at it.
what is with this drawing? Am I supposed to want this guy to come to my house and beat up my pipes? And risk getting his jewelry dirty?
I am sure the company has a lawyer that assured everyone involved, first of all, that “#1 plumber in connecticut” is an ambiguous enough set of words to not need to strictly be proven, and also that “a-team” is a generic phrase uncopyrighted with regard to plumbing, and that as long as the cartoon is vague and is never explicitly identified as being a representation of Lawrence Tureaud akadaka “Mr. T” this is totally legal and acceptable. It is still stupid and embarrassing and not sure if it is targeting 50-70 year olds who would actually have watched the a-team and own homes now or 30-40 year olds who knew Mr. T as a proto-meme (in my case twenty years ago literally drawn over a proto-man) and were aware that he said “i pity the fool” about something on some occasion but probably rely on a landlord or equivalent entity to deal with broken home infrastructure, but in neither instance would he be associated with quality leak-fixing services.
And as far as I can tell, T’s character B A Baracus never wore gold chains on The A Team nor vowed to pity fools, but that doesn’t matter; the point is that I don’t know what the point is.

the website makes absolutely no mention of the logo, Mr.T or anything to do with the a-team television program (nor thankfully the insufferable yet equally unrelated to the tv show or plumbing ed sheeran song), but does appear to be promoting that its employees are pushy and looking for silly things to charge you for.

Benjamin Franklin makes much more sense because he was historically about three feet tall and did carry around a wrench almost as big and crawl about in human waste dressed in goofy 18th century government garb and a wig.

i presume this all started when some university dork saw an ad for an “a-1 plumbing” service and then thought hey wouldn’t it be FUNNY if it was a-TEAM plumbing? and Mr. T was in the commercial and said *bad mr. t voice* I PITY THE PIPES!” and then borrowed 200 thousand dollars from his parents and actually made it happen because that is the sort of life that sort of person lives.

why does a french fry truck need an obnoxious star trek reference –that I only know IS a star trek reference from witnessing so many obnoxious references to it– as its name and slogan? the same reason a plumbing company needs a confused Mr. T reference: it doesn’t but the boss said it had to.

it apparently no longer says “resistance is futile” on the webpage or the trucks but the rest of the goony text mess remains. I would assume this guy also made Streptococcus Paiella with A-Team plumbing’s artist if I didn’t remember that it doesn’t exist because I made that page myself as a joke. Clearly I missed the point of life and everything that is a joke to me is a potentially lucrative business. “Jon” talking about himself talks like I did on web pages that I soon after hoped and stopped short of praying would eventually be purged from existence because everybody rightfully hated me for talking like that. I tried to stop being a corny idiot instead of doubling down on it and having the money to buy a truck lying around.
I never ate cinnamon toast crunch as a child or adult nor actively sought memes so perhaps that limited my mind from entering the contentedly mediocre state necessary to lose all shame and shill at everyone I know to get them to finance my grand bland garbage aspirations, and now the living embodiment of that has been US president for almost four years, and people in my own family that I never asked for money voted for him and look forward to doing so again. But I do not request pity; save that for the stool.

April 1, 2012
riding a dirt bike down a turnpike always takes its toll on me

WAT. new character redesigns for 2012 guys. $80 commission from brunchmeatmccarthy on etsy. These have been long coming, quite honestly :/ god i love this. they look delicious *eats* *nomnom* ah I am satiated

January 2, 2008
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that?

Oh, it's going to be one of THESE posts.

It seems like only last post I was talking about how it would be the final of the year. And so, we have another year, and with a new year come new opportunities, new adventures, new people, new ideas, 12 all new gladiators. As it has been often said, gone away is the rue year, here to stay is the new year, at least for another year. What inspiration will today’s year bring?


Everything’s the same as before! Everything’s just as stupid as it used to be! I was a fool to have hope!

But anyway, as this helpful, awkward, contractual obligaty cobranding moment –in which Terrence “Hulk Huggin'” Bolero appeared on the World Wrestling Ehhh for the first time in a couple years for approximately three minutes to promote his new deal and was never seen again– informed me not terribly long ago, the American Gladiators will be “””back””” on January 6ifth. Even though none of the same people seem to be involved. I’d like to make some proper comparison pointing out all the apparent differences which displease me, but in actuality I would not like to do that. And I don’t have to, because the advertising makes no secret of big changes.
This is not your grandmother’s American Gladiatort.
That from Hogan, Hulk Hogan, who’s almost old enough to be my grandmother. And what if it was my grandmother’s american gladiators? My grandmother had good taste.
But in reality, my grandmothers did not watch american gladiators. One of them was British at the appointed time and can not be assumed to have had the ability nor patriotic privelege to have watched. So they did not watch american gladiators. I did. When I was twelve years old. In the full time space of television it really wasn’t on regularly all that long ago. Therefore, I am my own grandmother.

What I always thought the show lacked were loud sparkly things and winners standing around boasting. Also, hosts who I know and/or will be constantly reminded the names of. I can’t tell you who or what hosted the other show. It may have been no one. It wasn’t important. I also like hosts who stand around acting tough but are totally uninvolved with any physical competition. The other host is Laila Ali, who is probably a preferable satiating of “the biz’s” un-stoppable/explainable nepotism hunger than Brooke Hogan.

I used to have some great pictures of the episode of Family Matters where Steve and Carl battle each other on the old geriatric American Gladiators, but even if I still do it’s anyone’s guess what I saved them as or where I put them. The internet also has a tendency to swallow up helpful websites where you can find episode specific images from tv shows and replace them with useless empty automatically generated subsections on various clone directories of nothing with “tv” in their urls. At no point in human history have there ever been greater collections of nothing by nobody for nobody than at whatever the current moment might be on the internet. If that’s not enough, they all want me to log in and write their pages for them. Like this is my fault.

There’s also no shortage of “hey, remember that episode of Family Matters where Carl and Steve were on American Gladiators?” comments saying nothing at all else turned up from dopey weblogs with probably as much substance, all regarding the new nbc program. Doesn’t anybody have anything unique to offer that’s not simply a regurgitation of non-information or an acknowledgment of a vague memory? Who let this happen?!

Like this is my fault.

Not that it’s the commentators’ faults that every not necessarily intended to be significant thing they say is recorded by search engines, but certainly the engines themselves could detect some distinctions among the various bits of data they collect, and additionally allow me to tell them which to tell me about. Ehhhm.

November 25, 2007
While he was braggin I was coming down the hill a-just draggin all his pictures and his clothes in a baggin

I’m tired of idiots standing around with their hands like that! Do you think you’re in charge? You aren’t! Maybe if you looked where you were going instead of at nothing you would see the helpful label floating in front of you. Not that you’d be able to read it at that angle. Not that you’d be smart enough to move to a position where you could. Not that you can read.

No! Don’t turn to face me! Didn’t you hear the abuse I just directed at you? I want nothing to do with you! Arrrgh! What’s wrong with you? You look like an idiot! (you are.) And don’t smile! You’re biologically unfit to do so!
Ubggggggigiggg…. There’s no excuse for that beast. None at all. How do these things find me?! I want to throw a sock full of rocks at that thing! I want to throw TV’s Roc Charles S. Dutton, at it! You hear me, lizard? I’ll throw a very special Roc at you! In front of a live studio audience! I wish that show got better ratings so I could shame you in front of as many people as possible, not necessarily because it would have lasted more seasons then, because I always found it boring. I learned about racism through Family Matters. But I didn’t learn enough, evidently, because I thought the family on Roc were essentially the same people, and I was disappointed when they weren’t as wacky. I was eight years old. But anyway. What’s important is that I want to throw a large fat man at that thilly thmiling theropod up thither.

Whaaaa? That’s too stupid! And don’t you dare try and make that my problem! I hate ducks and I hated you before you were a duck! I hope this will at least serve as a warning to other dumb animal people that would attempt to address me. I will have none of it.

Fool, how could you not see that coming? Look at the original juxtaposition of the images! You are beside yourself with imbecility! And… and… I drew you at 2:50 am! That’s not afternoon at all! If it was, it would not be good! You made it bad!

October 15, 2007
They have stood facts on their head and juggled black and white, encircled and suppressed revolutionaries, stifled opinions differing from their own, imposed a white terror, and felt very pleased with themselves.

I don’t know which one to beat up first. The left for starting this or the right for following and being proud of that plus its previous crimes. One thing certain is that this preposterous pair do not deserve such elegant fingers.

Off the chain? You’d be OFF MY FRIEND LIST if you were on it and I was the sort of person who considered that an acceptable way of communicating disapproval. I don’t adhere to latest trends anyway, but I certainly don’t trust stupid smiling partially dressed animal people to tell me what those are!
As for the bow tie beanoid, that thing is ECSTATIC. It’s so proud to be wearing a head chain and a bow tie. As long as it can wear the bow tie it will do whatever it thinks is popular. That twit is just a crony. That’s all. It has no real talents. it uses its sychophantic skills to obtain positions of relative power and tries to get laws enacted about stupid things like bow ties. It has information… it knows things (despite being a thing which lacks a nose)… It knows bombs are being sent, and by whom, but it keeps quiet just because its bow tie seems to be respected. It demands not only that any possible sub ordinates wear bow ties, but that the bow ties be smaller than its own. Trust me, I saw its diary.

The bow tie beast could never survive in the wild. It has no natural defenses with which to fight back and no legs with which to evade peril altogether. All it has is big arms. Although the grimp does evidently have opposing thumbs, the thing can’t make and use tools; it is a tool. If it invited me to its birth-day party I would give it a one of these. I’m not just some stupid animal so I’d do it properly.

I have pages and pages of this.

Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

them`s fightin` woids: November 19, 2020
Purplespace sez:
Do you own the gold pumpkin or does it own you?
November 16, 2020
Charmlatan sez:
Moving is quite the pain at any other time. I can’t imagine what obstacles are making...
November 1, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
I am always glad if somebody notices my mouse-over text! especially since years ago the...
October 31, 2020
ARandomKid sez:
I definitely agree with you there, I just seem to remember every site I looked at having the...
October 31, 2020
Frimpinheap sez:
I doubt Moraff ever pursued software piracy very diligently, if at all. I used to be worried...
October 31, 2020
ARandomKid sez:
Well. Seems full versions are far easier to find than I remember. Game is just as great as I...
Less recent posts
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened

    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    I do not approve.
    irrational complaining about my television set
    Dennises are dead to me
    This page is not about shoes.
    I hate shoes.
    something award related
    Those Green Eyes again
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    Biggest Loser
    Mall Blandness
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    Mall Egadness
    Las Vegas
    Spiderman 2
    Jope and Dopes
    These Green Eyes
    Game Over
    Mall orneryness
    Movies I'm not going to see
    Back fashion school to
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    Official pizza of Nascar
    Michael Jackson
    Free Speech
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    The first First Beet segment
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    Poetry Page
    The same