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Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
April 1, 2012
riding a dirt bike down a turnpike always takes its toll on me


WAT. new character redesigns for 2012 guys. $80 commission from brunchmeatmccarthy on etsy. These have been long coming, quite honestly :/ god i love this. they look delicious *eats* *nomnom* ah I am satiated



January 2, 2008
Charlie, how your Angels get down like that?


Oh, it's going to be one of THESE posts.

It seems like only last post I was talking about how it would be the final of the year. And so, we have another year, and with a new year come new opportunities, new adventures, new people, new ideas, 12 all new gladiators. As it has been often said, gone away is the rue year, here to stay is the new year, at least for another year. What inspiration will today’s year bring?

AARRRRRRRRRRRRP! bulletin


Everything’s the same as before! Everything’s just as stupid as it used to be! I was a fool to have hope!

But anyway, as this helpful, awkward, contractual obligaty cobranding moment –in which Terrence “Hulk Huggin'” Bolero appeared on the World Wrestling Ehhh for the first time in a couple years for approximately three minutes to promote his new deal and was never seen again– informed me not terribly long ago, the American Gladiators will be “””back””” on January 6ifth. Even though none of the same people seem to be involved. I’d like to make some proper comparison pointing out all the apparent differences which displease me, but in actuality I would not like to do that. And I don’t have to, because the advertising makes no secret of big changes.
This is not your grandmother’s American Gladiatort.
That from Hogan, Hulk Hogan, who’s almost old enough to be my grandmother. And what if it was my grandmother’s american gladiators? My grandmother had good taste.
But in reality, my grandmothers did not watch american gladiators. One of them was British at the appointed time and can not be assumed to have had the ability nor patriotic privelege to have watched. So they did not watch american gladiators. I did. When I was twelve years old. In the full time space of television it really wasn’t on regularly all that long ago. Therefore, I am my own grandmother.

What I always thought the show lacked were loud sparkly things and winners standing around boasting. Also, hosts who I know and/or will be constantly reminded the names of. I can’t tell you who or what hosted the other show. It may have been no one. It wasn’t important. I also like hosts who stand around acting tough but are totally uninvolved with any physical competition. The other host is Laila Ali, who is probably a preferable satiating of “the biz’s” un-stoppable/explainable nepotism hunger than Brooke Hogan.

I used to have some great pictures of the episode of Family Matters where Steve and Carl battle each other on the old geriatric American Gladiators, but even if I still do it’s anyone’s guess what I saved them as or where I put them. The internet also has a tendency to swallow up helpful websites where you can find episode specific images from tv shows and replace them with useless empty automatically generated subsections on various clone directories of nothing with “tv” in their urls. At no point in human history have there ever been greater collections of nothing by nobody for nobody than at whatever the current moment might be on the internet. If that’s not enough, they all want me to log in and write their pages for them. Like this is my fault.

There’s also no shortage of “hey, remember that episode of Family Matters where Carl and Steve were on American Gladiators?” comments saying nothing at all else turned up from dopey weblogs with probably as much substance, all regarding the new nbc program. Doesn’t anybody have anything unique to offer that’s not simply a regurgitation of non-information or an acknowledgment of a vague memory? Who let this happen?!

Like this is my fault.

Not that it’s the commentators’ faults that every not necessarily intended to be significant thing they say is recorded by search engines, but certainly the engines themselves could detect some distinctions among the various bits of data they collect, and additionally allow me to tell them which to tell me about. Ehhhm.



November 25, 2007
While he was braggin I was coming down the hill a-just draggin all his pictures and his clothes in a baggin


I’m tired of idiots standing around with their hands like that! Do you think you’re in charge? You aren’t! Maybe if you looked where you were going instead of at nothing you would see the helpful label floating in front of you. Not that you’d be able to read it at that angle. Not that you’d be smart enough to move to a position where you could. Not that you can read.

No! Don’t turn to face me! Didn’t you hear the abuse I just directed at you? I want nothing to do with you! Arrrgh! What’s wrong with you? You look like an idiot! (you are.) And don’t smile! You’re biologically unfit to do so!
Ubggggggigiggg…. There’s no excuse for that beast. None at all. How do these things find me?! I want to throw a sock full of rocks at that thing! I want to throw TV’s Roc Charles S. Dutton, at it! You hear me, lizard? I’ll throw a very special Roc at you! In front of a live studio audience! I wish that show got better ratings so I could shame you in front of as many people as possible, not necessarily because it would have lasted more seasons then, because I always found it boring. I learned about racism through Family Matters. But I didn’t learn enough, evidently, because I thought the family on Roc were essentially the same people, and I was disappointed when they weren’t as wacky. I was eight years old. But anyway. What’s important is that I want to throw a large fat man at that thilly thmiling theropod up thither.

Whaaaa? That’s too stupid! And don’t you dare try and make that my problem! I hate ducks and I hated you before you were a duck! I hope this will at least serve as a warning to other dumb animal people that would attempt to address me. I will have none of it.


Fool, how could you not see that coming? Look at the original juxtaposition of the images! You are beside yourself with imbecility! And… and… I drew you at 2:50 am! That’s not afternoon at all! If it was, it would not be good! You made it bad!



October 15, 2007
They have stood facts on their head and juggled black and white, encircled and suppressed revolutionaries, stifled opinions differing from their own, imposed a white terror, and felt very pleased with themselves.


I don’t know which one to beat up first. The left for starting this or the right for following and being proud of that plus its previous crimes. One thing certain is that this preposterous pair do not deserve such elegant fingers.

Off the chain? You’d be OFF MY FRIEND LIST if you were on it and I was the sort of person who considered that an acceptable way of communicating disapproval. I don’t adhere to latest trends anyway, but I certainly don’t trust stupid smiling partially dressed animal people to tell me what those are!
As for the bow tie beanoid, that thing is ECSTATIC. It’s so proud to be wearing a head chain and a bow tie. As long as it can wear the bow tie it will do whatever it thinks is popular. That twit is just a crony. That’s all. It has no real talents. it uses its sychophantic skills to obtain positions of relative power and tries to get laws enacted about stupid things like bow ties. It has information… it knows things (despite being a thing which lacks a nose)… It knows bombs are being sent, and by whom, but it keeps quiet just because its bow tie seems to be respected. It demands not only that any possible sub ordinates wear bow ties, but that the bow ties be smaller than its own. Trust me, I saw its diary.

The bow tie beast could never survive in the wild. It has no natural defenses with which to fight back and no legs with which to evade peril altogether. All it has is big arms. Although the grimp does evidently have opposing thumbs, the thing can’t make and use tools; it is a tool. If it invited me to its birth-day party I would give it a one of these. I’m not just some stupid animal so I’d do it properly.

I have pages and pages of this.



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them`s fightin` woids: September 20, 2019
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