Evidently I was not done wednessing and missed my imaginary deadline again. Neither of us was surprised.
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Wednesday: I did so much wednessing yesterday that I had no time to update this website. If only I’d known it was just Tuesday then. Whoopth.
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Do you remember when I said I am one of the most boring people in the world? No, of course not; it was so boring it could not possibly be remembered.
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After overwhelming public demand, which I ignored, here is my own incest story:
Once upon a time Hansel and Gretel lived together in a house in the forest. The end.
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However…
I don’t think the proper place for this message is the inside of a public restroom. Nor the outside, for that matter. “You may only be twelve years old, but yer a MAN to ME.”
And so I propose we train our children to become killing machines.
I wasn’t intimidated until you clenched your fists.
Thankfully there is an entire section in some stores devoted to the purpose. America must be the greatest country in the world to have invented the plastic helmet aisle. The only thing stealthier than a ninja is a shiny one that clunks a lot. The plastic helmet and assorted armaments aisle, ah yes. Unlike normal munitions, which have a history of exploding when fired upon themselves, these just deform and produce toxic fumes. So they’re safe. And they’re discreet about it. Apart from being brightly colored and shiny and clunkity, I mean.
I had been under the impression that one of the factors in the effectiveness of terminators was that nobody could tell they were murderous cyborgs, because they disguised themselves as humans, but realistically, I suppose when you’re a nigh indestructible machination of death it doesn’t much matter how well you conceal yourself among the puny frail beings it is your goal to eliminate. A human disguised as a cyborg makes a lot more sense.
Incidentally, despite nearly eight years of more or less regular updates I still apparently type things, “cut” them to paste elsewhere and then forget to do that, but not to ‘save’ the document I cut them out from. In this case of jokes about predators-of-children, however, it may merely have been an intervention by the decency fairy. However, it’s not an effective defense, because I sometimes remember what I wrote the first time, and in any event I’m getting this stuff from all sides:
Well I’m certainly not going to PAY you for my FREE incest pics, regardless of how mature and responsible they are. I’m also not interested in incest content that does not depict interfamiliar dealings. It seems wrong somehow.
At LAST, the sequel to
As usual, George Lucas makes us wait and doesn’t give us quite what we expected.
Also, as long as you’re here, with all this confusion about, don’t forget to wash the hand part of your hand.
Go on, gyit. Don’t give me that face. You know you’re not supposed to be here. You’re not washing off that glowy green stuff in MY sink.
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Echohadjo sez:
Gaw! I would almost blame you for photoshopping if it weren’t for having seen it myself . . . in a toy store this week – bizzaro face masks for wee ones to don while gunning down their droobish parents. Ahh, when I was a kleine kindern wir fashioned meat helmuts and beat each other with canes. Now Hollywood + China has taken care of that. Perhaps the strangest thing I saw was a “CSI” facial reconstruction kit – teaches your lovely little child to learn the rudiments of forensic anthropology and identify those skeletal remains they found in the sand box. I mean, “WTF?!?”
Hejmrink sez:
That does strike me as an unusual example of marketing outside one’s demographic. I didn’t think there were all that many kids who watched CSI… at least not the age of the one shown on the box. But then there are so many 20-40 year old adults who spend all their time watching cartoons that it seems feasible others had to step in to keep the ratings up on the crime dramas. Kids are certainly douchey enough that it might be reasonable to suggest they picked it up from shows like this one starring emotionally dead snarky oafs whose employment depends on murders continuing to happen at high volume.