I’m sick of your paper! the world is not paper with words written on it! file this! copy this! print this! read this! THE WORLD WILL CONTINUE WITHOUT YOUR PAPER. YOUR PAPER IS AN ARBITRARY CONSTRUCTION WITH NO UNIVERSAL SIGNIFICANCE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DENY ME LIFE BECAUSE I DISREGARD YOUR STUPID PAPER!

I was looking for something I typed a few months ago about meat, and I found that, from early 2005 or thereabouts, and I can’t remember what it means.

That is totally the wrong attitude to have. I started eating occasional hamburgers four months ago, and I quickly remembered why I stopped. Well actually, the thing I’m complaining about is the meat content; I originally stopped because I vomitted on the floor beside the door,* and I recall that being related to my not trusting the white american cheese slices my home food-preparer used, to the extent that it irritated my vomit mechanisms, but I was too embarrassed to say anything about it, and eventually I forgot and just thought I hated hamburgers in general.

*this was before the house was remodeled; it’s possible the stain was unremovable and that’s why we blocked the way with electronic junk and used the kitchen door for ever after that.

If we didn’t, surely the people who bought the house have by now.

But these days, I must report that on the whole, the beef to bread ratio I encounter in hamburging foods is intolerable. I think during the 1990s there was a lot of bickering and name calling over which establishment used the most meat, and I missed the transition entirely. And a lot of these places will put extra layers of their oversized beef layeroids in there, so not only can I not take a proper bite from it, what I do get just tastes like a big glob of death. I might as well eat it with a fork. In some instances I might as well eat the fork. Back when I was afraid of noodles, whenever we had hamburger helper I would just have the meat in sandwich form, and that worked, because of the magic flavor dust helping the hamburger. Cheese is nice and all, when it’s not white and american, but it’s no dust. Also, the filling wasn’t all stuck together, so there’s less meat density. Any excess that shouldn’t be in there will fall out through the natural forces of the world. At some point before I die I would like to eat a manwich.

They don’t look like that. Come on, lettuce and wonder bread? You can’t trust wikipedia.

Verily, there’s no quality like grip quality. I can’t imagine why anybody would ridicule anyone involved with this.

pog knows we don’t want grips frowning on us. One thing that’s never changed since I’ve been on the internet: “lazy” is the ultimate comic strip promotion tool. I’m impressed the writer spelled “too” properly.