I’m through being taken advantage of!

Wait does this mean I’m not, then? That’s not even funny. I have the saddest April fool pranks.

Second-saddest then I guess. No eye [‘d be] MAD if I was one of the people who pays money to use the deviant art site and this was the best they could come up with. As a freeloader I am just disappointed.

Also sad is that I somehow got six paragraphs out of this topic. They are hiding from me at the moment. That is their prank. I created them and thusser they learned prankcraft from me and thus they aren’t very inventive at it.

June 17, threethousandnineteenthirtyfour:

Earth’s greatest hero, captivity enthusiast, thrice consecutively voted “Most likely to be stripped of clothing and sent to The Arena” and all-around white guy Flash Gordon is defeated by a backwards S (Roneldo’s whereabouts unknown). A truce was called when both sides realized they despised trousers. The kneeling fellow in the second frame is actually being executed for the sake of peace.

Annnnnnnnnnd evidently I have things to do.

Mike Birbiglia is coming out in a few minutes. If he does his Busta Rhymes set again I’m turning mine off.

Ah, good. He didn’t. He did use some other jokes I’ve heard before, however. I’m not sure if my life is pointless because I watch too many tv shows or because it’s too easy for me to connect to the internet.

Transformers, more than pizza pie!

I’m going to go to sleep now.

The newer Fantastic Four movie, one of innumerable sequels and at least three action-type movies this Sumzer with an unidentified thing from space as a major plot point, is released across United Amelica today. It will be a time of encounters with surfers which affect our molecules and cause us to temporarily switch powers. (noise)

Note that iGN’s branding of a clip it did not produce neither prevented me from viewing the clip on another site nor inspired me to visit the logo’s place of origin.

On the level of science I’m not meant to question as explained quite easily by nameless dope in the preview, this is still below the robot airplane from Stealth that gets struck by lightning and turns evil. (also noise) I realize that superheroes, by their very nature, are no less plausible than the possibility that something might cause them to suddenly switch their magic skills and be otherwise unaffected. But it does bother me that to them, there is adequate logic at work for some dork to anticipate spontaneous power transfer just by caressing a microscope, explain it off to molecules, be right, and I’m not supposed to laugh until some angsty whiny guy who looks just as much like Ben Stiller turns orange and says “COME OOOOWWAN!.”

At least they don’t have to wear differently colored shirts to be told apart now.

And not that it’s relevant to why I do not want to see this (I simply do not), but I don’t understand how the X-Mens are mutants but the Four Fantastics are normal.

Ehhh,
I don’t think that parenthetical remark stressed enough my indifference toward this movie. Yet I’m too indifferent to try much harder. I cannot bring myself to have even all that strong of a spiteful interest in it. The four are so uninteresting that they don’t even have secret identities. Everyone knows that Thing’s name is Ben and that one of the thin guys is named Reed.

Oh, and why is this the rise of the Silver Surfer? I don’t have a very high tolerance threshold for 1970s American comics, so I can’t rightly dispute the merit of the character, but it looks like the doof actually falls to earth from elsewhere. But this and this has to use words like rise because it thinks it’s so epic. Maybe it’s more epic than Epic Movie, but my allergic reaction to dairy products is more epic than Epic Movie. You know what else rises? Bread dough, a formula from which has been derived some of our most reputable frozen pizza crusts. The undoubtedly ridiculous budget would have been better directed toward a film called Fantastic Flour. Ha ha bah.

Why console emulation is important:

That’s not a bomb in my suitcase, it’s my Colecovision!

This probably works better without a picture, but obviously people can’t be bothered to look things up. And you probably wouldn’t take one of these on an airplane in most situations.
And I never owned a Colecovisionator nor attempted to operate one of its programs on my computer. I actually thought it was pronounced “cohl-co” and supposedly it isn’t. You know what, nevermind. There’s no pleasing you, is there. I’d go home if I wasn’t already here.

Page 62 of this and a few others are here. Attentive readers may notice a distinct difference in the style of the pictures. Probably the fifth abrupt alteration in a year, but this one seems different somehow. I have now crossed the border from inconsequential, insidious web-comic to one of those badly drawn self-lettered things you’d see in The New Haven Advocate (persons outside the New Haven Area, feel free to substitute whatever earthy liberal sub-tabloid publication you can take for free from local places of business into the previous sentence). The idea was to get the things “done” much faster, and also that out of simple necessity the drawings would become more clear. This has not been the case. In my attempts to yet accomplish it, I employ a technique I have come to call “drawing beyond my means.” I’d rather not employ this technique, but I have noticed that I do. Post-scan fiddling remains at large.

“You know, there are classes you can take that show you how to do this RIGHT“ -my mind. But if there’s anything I’ve learned on the internet, it’s that I hate other people who fancy themselves as “cartoonists.” If there’s anything I’ve learned from classes, it’s that I detest being surrounded by people I can’t or don’t wish to speak to. I’m afraid if I want to get this done it will be mostly on my own, and it will take a long time if it happens at all.

Though if anyone has any comments or suggestions I’d love to know about it. I think. Better I ask you than I go around consulting other people who draw upright walking animal type things, you know.