Am I better off with total whitening or total advanced whitening? How is it possible to advance beyond total? Does the advanced one make teeth translucent? Is it just more challenging? How can this goop hope to accomplish any whitening at all without
whitening oxygen bubbles? Clearly, they are essential. Ha ha, I pity any poor fool who bought normal advanced whitening without knowing oxygen bubbles had been invented. That person is doomed to a life of sub-caucasian bite bricks.
I actually tried this eventually, and you’ll be surprised to know that in actual usage it’s exactly the same as every other toothpaste I’ve ever used.
I might go so far as to declare that the finest regular I’ve ever tasted.
How are there so many different types of toothpaste, with so little information provided to help a person choose? Is it important which one I use? I did not think it was like with soda or salsa or saltlakrids, where it’s a trivial thing I don’t need, am actually better off without, and should choose entirely upon the whim of a moment. This is supposed to be a tool for cleaning a sensitive, integral series of body components. It’s a health issue, not a fashion conundrum. Yes, there are heaps of soaps, too, but they are competing soap brands offering similar products. This is one brand offering similar products. When you do see multitudes of soap under one label it tends to be about the various smells they give off. I try to avoid smelling people’s teeth.
This article’s author has encountered far more colgates than I, but doesn’t answer, nor ask the question of what’s actually in the interests of teeth themselves (it does, however, include a picture which clicking upon causes to appear a javascript window with a smaller version of the picture inside it). Do I want to prevent cavities or fight plaque? Why do we lack the technology to do both? Long ago it was my understanding that all toothpastes did all these things. Now, though, they’ve gone soft. Toothpaste? More like toothglue! Eh eh eh.
Which of these is actually the most beneficial is impossible to discern. Not just because your deteriorating vision has rendered the print a blurry, unintelligible mess, but because each paste type only includes the check boxes which would be checked. They are, in effect, mere bullet points, but this makes them seem like bonus features. Which reminds me…
With Webster Premier Banking you get 5000 bonus points. Do you have any idea what that means? That means you’ll be one fourth of the way toward getting your first extra life. What other bank can promise you something so matenopoulos?
See! Only Wachovia gives you a Way to Save. You don’t even need extra lives when your bank has exclusive access to the Imperial Scrolls of Honor. Truly a glamorous bonus.
No, Baramos Bomus! Nobody ever calls you! Get out of here! You are not needed at this time! Go away before your friends show up…
Wonderful. Now there’s some idiot purple monster skeleton here. Surely you can admit that’s kind of stupid.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN “KIND OF” STUPID?
Aren’t you glad I don’t update this site every two days anymore?
This is the saddest day of my life.
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I have been busy, lately. The internet has been regularly dysfunctional. These are not good circumstances for keeping websites. Only a fool would continue to do so!
Wow, it seems like every three days I realize I haven’t updated this thing in three days these days.
I don’t remember why I wrote this.
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Watchmen are OVER!
It is necessary for this line to be in the preview [of the film known as Watchmen], not because it’s just plain great writing, but any film which includes a breakup or disassociation of any sort must denote this in the preview. Who can forget “I’m Spiderman no longer!“? Not I! And I really thought he was done being Spiderman, too, just as certain as I always am that America’s most ubiquitous magazine adorners really won’t find comedic romance by the end after the tragic events of one-minute-thirty-seconds. Hang up those phones! Cry on those benches! Drive your car at night! Yell “wait!” at a person who will not wait! You’ve had it this time!
As with any preview, the faults of Watchmen’s rest largely with whoever made the preview, and it was not my intention to take in any of it. But as it is necessary for me to procure the interest of another person when I wish to see a film, I had to be aware enough to say “there! That’s what it is!”
It does, though, bring to attention that the characters depicted in the film are The Watchmen. When I went through the comicoid a year or so ago1, it became apparent that all the characters were intentionally avoiding referring to the gang as “the watchmen.” Like that wasn’t their name at all, and the story was only called “Watchmen,” not even with a “the,” because comics always sell better if they have “man” or “men” in their titles. Perhaps it was believed that this one was well done enough that when people realized it wasn’t a proper -Man story they wouldn’t mind. And maybe “Watchmen” was their name, but the writer was trying to make a point by not saying it, possibly with the intention of distancing his story from any further Man-related misconceptions. He’s kind of a weirdo. “Who watches the watchmen” appears in the backgrounds a lot, but it is never pointed out who, if anyone, that specifically refers to. Of course one assumes it refers to the heroes, but it could just as easily be crazy person graffiti that means nothing. I don’t have the right sort of intelligence to be offended over such a subtle change, but yes, verily, it was odd hearing the people be called “the watchmen.” This entry should be over but it isn’t.
1 Thankfully prior to my knowing a film was being made, but it is not integral to my story that you believe this
I do think a great opportunity was missed to have Late Show announcer Alan Kalter portray Walter the hobo,
Look! Another one!
but in the end that will not be what makes me come away from the film disappointed. A lot of these things I like or sort of like up until the end and then I get bothered because nothing ever happened to make me truly enjoy them. If something had, and just as likely if it hadn’t, an abrupt, vague, pessimistic, miserable ending made sure I left upset. There Will be Blood, Capote, Pan’s Labyrinth, Waking Life, The Wrestler, The Wrestler, The Wrestler, I don’t ever want to see any of them again. I’m sick of smart people recommending this joy poison to the world. I don’t have a lot left. Is there really no middle ground between cringely sappiness and losing faith in humanity? I found out after seeing the sickening “7 pounds” that it supposedly was “bad” but it didn’t seem to me all that much worse from some of the “good” movies getting every star from the same people. Evidently the misery factor transcends quality.
Soooo… at least Watchmen has some neat visual effects. Even if its flashback plot progression and character motives are as underexplained as Slumdog Millionaire’s, and I expect they are, I will already understand what’s supposed to be happening because books let you stay on a page until it makes sense. Therefore I will not be eternally backlogged mentally, trying to figure out what I missed while I was trying to figure out what just happened. What are those kids selling? Did they steal that stuff? How long is that train ride? Why is Salim so angry when he gets to be 1980s Michael Jackson?
Yes, Slumnaire Milliondog is also based on a book, but that wasn’t a comic book. I like me some pictures. To recap: I didn’t want you to get the impression that my ability to appreciate intellectually complicated works was under-developed so I told you I get held up by cartoons in little boxes.
I mentioned, on a previewous occasion, seeing a different watchmen preview. but that was back in July or thereabouts. At that point I was just mesmerized to see stuff, and figured that I knew the story anyhow so there wasn’t an issue of anything being “spoiled,” and I would still have half a year to forget anything important. At this, the week of its release, however, with televisual advertisements and actors floating about talking over the things (“my character is a member of the watchmen!”), I understand that the trouble is as great as ever, even if it’s not the story that gets spoiled. There are many things which can be spoiled. Like eggs. I realize the irony of talking about spoiling and then linking to a page from the thing that’s mostly words. Sure do.
Here is my ironic let-down ending.
The Tonight Show W/ J. Leno, January 19 2009: Jimmy Fallon films his own head for “webisodes” despite multple stable professionally operated official NBC cameras already filming him better. It should be noted that he said “webisode” at least seven times so it is safe to assume he has reviewed the terminology and found nothing wrong with it.
You, world, never got me to say “podcast” or “blog,” I suspect webisode will meet a similar fate. Specifically: everyone else disregards my protests because my opinion actually has no bearing on anything.
Look, he has the preview thing open despite not being able to view it. Decadence!
Do we really need two annoying, internet video dependent desk show hosts who call themselves “Jimmy?” Can’t one be James or Seamus? At least the two Craigs agreed to work in shifts and only one insisted on “Craiggers.”
Do we also truly require more videos of just immobile heads in little boxes saying stuff at us? Is anybody really so entranced by mouths? I put up with that during my first half in King’s Quest V and Faxanadu, but shouldn’t we have made some progress since then? All we’ve succeeded in doing is making the heads larger and needlessly better animated. I’m weak of mouths.
Of course I wasn’t expecting to be “friends” with somebody named GPSHyphenFitness, but I get so few “friend” notices, even junkety ones, that I always look over their pages with the slightest, most naive hope that maybe this ambiguously named entity I’ve never heard of really does want to be me best pal. Perhaps, even if it is a robot, it is just as lost and confused as I am. And maybe I really did in fact know a bunch of Russian live-journal users and I just forgot about it. But anyway, whatever disappointment I deserve for my foolishness, it ought not to come in the form of this human fragment yelling at me about fitness the instant that section of the page finally shows up. If you want to sell me on fitness but really just don’t have the space to pan out, at least show me an arm or something. All this proves is that your clothing is starting to merge the frame.
If he doesn’t want me to see his Slim Goodbody suit, he should have worn something else.
Hello.
Hey hey, somehow Jay Leno mentioned “you got married since the last time you were here,” sending Jimmy into a totally spontaneous rehearsed bit about the crazy characters you meet at weddings! Which required him to stand up and walk across the stage several times as different people his mimicry skills were inadequate to distinguish. When this was done Mr. Leno asked if Mr. Fallon intended to deliver a nightly monologue, and yes! Jimmy does! He also stood up again, to give an example, and got bonus applause for standing up, and then proceeded to say much the same sort of things as in his pre-plotted interview. Only while standing.
How does Fallon expect to stand out after two hours of talk shows on his own channel, nevermind with more and more viewers straying from nbc anyhow, when he’s still relying on the same phony setups in his own guest appearances? He also mentioned that he plans to have a personal band and I’m past the point where I wonder if he’ll have a desk. How long before he acquaints himself with Electric Lincoln?
Jimmmmmy has said on several occasions that the band is called “The Roots.” Like this matters (although it is a better name than Toby). I’ve seen bands on these shows and they all do the same stuff: noisily waste time with varying degrees of tolerability. Mr. Ferguson forgoes one (though probably only for budget reasons), and while it does deprive him of a consistent on-set target for abuse, I don’t see why this necessarily needs to be a musician beside a bunch of other musicians who don’t get to say anything. Regarding strictly music-related matters, disregarding its necessity, as a home viewer I can’t tell the difference between live music and the other kind. As an in-studio audience member, however, I preferred the pre-recorded music because it wasn’t as loud.
Jimmy again, with Conan O’Brien, standing again, reading off a little card again. This occurred the night I was in the audience. It’s hard enough to pay attention to the designated chat space when you can see the whole room, why did they have to bring out a guy I had written annoyed things about before I had posted them? How am I expected to appreciate the parts that went well when it is necessary for the waiting website entry’s completion that I maintain a contrary attitude until then? Do you even think? Jim only said “webisode” once, though, so maybe there is hope yet.
Regardless, prior to then I assembled this totally unnecessary, overbloated sega cd-looking animated gif of Jay Leno tossing water on Mr. Fallon. After about the thirtieth time I watched it I started to feel bad about talking trash about Fallon, even though the act only happened once and Jimmily poutily swiped the mug off the desk afterward, almost hitting somebody with it. But maybe if I find film of every person who sort of bothers me suffering misfortune and I watch it a lot I will become a less complaintive person overall.
Be aware, however, that the dope is not a “person.”
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I spend a massive amount of time making things which have no purpose. Some of them I don’t even put here.
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Ohhhhhhhhhhh busybusybusy.
I saw a Dr Pepper soda advertisement recently which I found alarming. No, not the one which was my first “dr pepper” search result, Zon Tayday confirming my suspicions that people have been giving him money to be further publicly made fun of despite his lack of everything. But I will complain at length about it anyway.
The “song” actually starts with lines about him being on the internet and getting money. Yeah, and for what? For being a ridiculous doofus incapable of giving any legitimate enrichment through his entertainment aspirations. The “song” is shorter and just slightly more non-horrible-soundy than the old, but only because people who Yad Yazton obviously learned nothing from have produced the heap out of it. And I’d hardly say this proves any fool can be picked off the street, placed in a controlled environment and made to seem like a competent artist to those with as much competence, because we already knew that. It’s always been that way. How is Yaya Tzond so different than an A. Idol winner/loser, then? Answer: he isn’t, and I’m sick of that.
They’ve got him goofed up on a throne surrounded by nameless ladies with dress priorities contrary to his own, a la a previous year’s public contract trainwreck, Flavor Flave, who has also done a Dr Pepper ad, albeit in a different form I will discuss with myself later. Oh, I will! But this, here, is a man whose biggest creative touch to his own, self-made music videos is using the annotation function to ad extra ads to fill in the temporary commercialism void.
The only reason to watch this silly person in front of a microphone for three minutes is to see those ads. Evidently that appeals to a great deal of people. Yoy Zandat is one of few recordy people whose brief, identical telephone-noises heard repeatedly throughout the day when combined accurately represent the experience of hearing the full song. But hopefully no one ever calls you. For their sake.
And if you’re wondering about “charity album” tagged on to the first clip, it’s just 16 yet dopier remixes of the original dopey song far too many people have heard before. The provided video has (very loud) sniplets of them all, all with the initial vocals incorporated and beeptrack represented in some way, with Mr. Yellowroom himself at both ends telling you about all his websites.
Yes, Babastank exists and is involved, and Of COURSE that’s a myspace link at the right, hovering above print I’m used to seeing in email I delete.
The actual charity aspect expired 30 days after the video was posted and was for eh half the, one assumes, scant proceeds to go toward the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which while apparently a decent cause is nothing that makes me feel heelish about complaining about supporters of for unrelated reasons (longtime unaware nemesis Robin Williams has a couple of those). Charity is supposed to be about helping others, and as a puzzlewit who but for the internet’s tendency to enshrine things nobody likes –if he had been a better musician, we still wouldn’t know about him–, the preservation of electronic anything seems more than a bit in Oyz Nadyat’s own best interest. If you believe EFF is worth giving your money to, I suggest you give money to it, and not risk encouraging Zat Donyay to do anything that involves the continued presence of his profile statement of his lack of piano and voice training. If he wants to be a clown that’s fine, but I don’t think he thinks he is a clown.
If Yatz Yonad made an attempt to assure me that the other half went to the team of remixers and not his own five second keyboard loop making grasp-digits… I’d still dislike it because all they’ve done is apply annoying noisy filters over something that was already unlistenable. Any good accomplished by donating half your sales to a charity is undone by distributing hard prints of an album that’s 48+ minutes of Chocolate Rain. There are people with actual digital audio composition/manipulation talent on the internet, and you’re generally not going to find them on a video site. A site where the most prolific and appreciated musicians sequence popular tunes for Mario Paint, an underpowered novelty tool, at best, 15 years ago,
that someone has made a special tool to encourage the online ubiquity of.
And you win again, internet. Would you believe it’s not long enough? FIVE STARS ANYWAY.
I was dead before you got here.
In summary: I need much better people to be jealous of.
Consumer Alert:
Rorschach wants your eggs.
I’m glad I never had a way to obtain normal comic books on a regular basis during the years one typically goes through a phase like that. I’d have hated to have found out I was a comic book nerd, and I doubt I could have afforded it, besides. Still, if I had a bunch of those they’d be more likely to get themselves re-read than the collection I accumulated over what appears to be a considerable period in which I regularly purchased Weekly World News. If you’ve seen one final warning from Billy Graham, you’ve seen them all. Most people associate the Weekly World News with Bat-Boy if they associate it with anything, but when I was buying it there was a red hot Lost Dead Sea Scroll craze going on.
It (becoming/understanding I was a nerd) probably wouldn’t have happened anyway and I’d have been turned off them and ended up much as I was (just down some dollars), because as I saw from my uncle’s collection, most of them were made to fill a quota and just weren’t good and they never stopped coming. I’m content for now to let some other slob read them and decide which ones from decades ago are worth distributing illegally buying somewhere or something. Although even that can get suspect results. I can’t tell if Robert Crumb’s popularity is a joke on me or a joke on him. I will abort this topic before I do something resembling what I did last time. Fash that was horrible. Even for me that was bad. It’s like I took that thing terrible I wrote about Mad-TV and took it to a ho’ nubba levuh.
ARRRRRRGH!! It was all a plot by Danny Devito to get mentioned on my stupid website again!
Bat-Man wants your eggs.
If you were (or are, I suppose, but I doubt it) a woman, would you trust a man known only as Slick for any reason? In any decade since the 1950s?
And that nicely awning’d doorway with “boutique” printed across it… you can’t even go in that way.
Slick, wisely, perhaps, doesn’t want anyone seeing what goes on in there. While I can confirm this is not the structure I saw the clown fortified light shield within, I predict acts no less sinister than those of clowns are carried on up the stairs, second store on left.
I bet she’s a clown, too. The whole clan ought to be locked up.
If you’re going to try and be fancy by purchasing stained-glass-ish lampshades, the ones with clowns on them might not be your best bet. Especially clowns who, judging from the cartoon stench lines, have no respect for the sterility of an eating environment. And this was no accident. That’s one proud clown, quite regardless of the fact that even the most noble clown has nothing to be proud of. I’d close the window blinds if I had any idea how they worked. The blinds on the wall can be left as they are.