Whenever possible, I have blank paper available while I attempt to sleep so that I can write down thoughts which occur to me or things to remind me of those thoughts. Very important things, like who the voice of the Honey Nut Cheerio bee was in the 1980s or what order the Berenstain Bear books were written in. If I don’t reach over and scrawl out through the darkness BEE VOICE or BERENSTAIN BEAR ORDER I might not remember to look those things up later, and then where would I be? The notes vary in legibility; with some I cannot make out right away every letter and with others I can read the words but don’t know what they mean; I recently wrote PALIN ENERGIZED THE BASEST and that one took me a while, because “Palin” looked like “Blin” and I couldn’t remember thinking anything about energy, and I would because that is a funny word. The important part of the thought only regarded the last word, but if I’d just written “basest” that would have confused me for even longer. I may have thought I wrote something about a beast, and I have no shortage of ignorant smiling beasts causing me problems. That I do not need to remind myself of! However, I always get it eventually. UNTIL NOW.
This one is a mystery. po nostev? pcn naGtar? i Do rostiL? pm rastyr? Dm loctov? Dq haqxld?
Natsoy Wd? I have no idea! None of these are close to being an idea or the name of a thing I wanted more information about. My own lack of consistency among letter cases and writing angles needlessly complicates things. And I wrote this days ago, so even if I do figure out the literary portion of the problem I may not be able to remember what I was thinking that it related to. I dared not erase it without making a record first, because it’s probably not important (unlike I get Popful junk mail which was incredibly important) but some things I only think about once a year and judging by my inability to interpret it this could be one of them.
The reason I had to erase it is because I write all my notes on paper that I intend to draw pictures on, because that’s the only way to force me-self to look at the notes and do something about them. Placing it here constitutes doing something, I decided.
All those people making fun with “Blagojevich” this week don’t know what I’ve been through. any hair a mannequin needs is available in wig form indeed!
Bright pink and yellow cupcakes lend an air of class and dignity to any place of vote-doing.
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Ehh, I’ll pass. Isn’t this the same way they got Ted Stevens? I know better than that. Nice try, lizard. And by nice I mean horrible. I own a magic dictionary.
The background is to distract you from how boring/lamentable the subject matter is. Ordinarily in a situation like this there would be a land mine about to be stepped on, a rogue incoming boomerang or something of that nature, but times are tough. And the tougher they are for me, the easier they are for loathsome lopes. I will have to settle for a fashion disaster.
But they got some problems there in Alaska, too, you betcha, by gum, by cracky.
From everyone’s favorite canid data depository, hunted by the British and so All American by default, Fox News:
“I’m confident someone from the campaign will release a statement saying what I think about this.” even in stories about other people Palin’s a goof. But this kind of thing is stupid anyhow, but not in a way that makes her look smart because she probably doesn’t realize it’s stupid: why is hinting that someone should quit a job different than “calling for” it? People are always calling for resignations, like it’s pizza or a singing telegram, and now they call for someone else to call for resignation. I hate the word “resignation” here, as if it’s a simple choice. Ooh, I just felt like resigning. No! You did something extra bad and additionally won the “possibly get held accountable” lottery and now even the creeps who liked you have to act like they don’t! There should be a different word for when somebody gets tired of a job and when somebody is essentially fired from one. Get to work on that. You may not use my magic dictionary.
With all this emphasis on mavericks I can’t help wishing Obama had selected Megaman X as his running mate. The problem, of course, is that polls in several key swing states suggested discomfort among white voters regarding Megaman’s connections to his brother Malcolm.
A popular question, with all the reason to exist as “boxers or briefs”: what candidate would you rather have “a beer” with? Do I wanna get my inebriation on with my old bowling partner Barry Ob and Joey B or the local pariah, son of the town drunk Johnny Mick and Sally P? I personally would prefer a president who does not drink beer at all. Even if our current master no longer does so, you can bet he’d be worse if he still did.
What I just realized last week, is whoever wins this election –my hesitation to call this for Obama days in advance is consistent with my unwillingness to respond to “see you tomorrow” with anything stronger than “you just might.”– I will likely continue seeing for another four years. Of course I knew that, but I didn’t really know that, no. If I’ve had enough schlub man thin lady romantic reefer revellin’ comedies, I’ve had enough of this lot and comedic impressions of them constantly. Also, now I understand, with that long awaited V for Vendetta sequel, W, that we have the technology to make feature film length impression exhibitions while the oafs are still in office. It’s rather worrying.
Doesn’t he look worried? I bet he’s calling the suicide hotline. Or maybe he’s just calling for my resignation after such a stupid joke. Fortunately, the only way to reach me is by radio and he has repeatedly denied knowing the frequency. In fact, my resignation is requested with great frequency (one of the best), so one more won’t besmirch my bucket. Board the windows and bust out the Cracklin’ Oat Bran (“More please”), bimshwel is here to stay.
On the subject, with all the marijuany media these days, it will not be too long before, rather than beer, we start getting asked who we’d rather share a joint with. And then we would elect the other one. The pot president isn’t getting much done. Unless…
Ah, well you didn’t say that before. Note that I apparently find it more hypothetically plausible that America accepts a toketastic layabout candidate before it allows one from a third party.
And I say to you that they have no idea what a thing they’re missing.
I hate this ad! Yes, it’s true!
Also from last February, but it appeared again recently. That is never good.
Scummy people outside their cars in a parking lot!
“How long ’til game time?” one asks another in as few syllables as possible.
“ONE HOUR 27 MINUTES,” this ridiculous person responds in a way that suggests she thinks she’s the only person on earth with a watch and she’s proud of it. Yet that’s not what the joke is supposed to be. This is a funny ad with a swerve. This is the believable part.
“One hour twenty-seven minutes later.” and they’re still totally attentive. And that’s not the joke either. I’m to take this as an acceptable, non-absurd time transition.
And then the fat man at front says GAME TIME. in this aggressive, satisfied voice like he’s raping a chipmunk which has given up trying to break free. What a horrible person!
The joke is supposed to be that they’re waiting for a lottery drawing to start, instead of, one must assume, something else. Plenty pathetic, yes, but waiting an hour and 27 minutes in front of a television set, in a parking lot, is ridiculously stupid regardless of what you’re watching. Regardless of what you’re watching an hour and 27 minutes from now, I mean.
Why would you ever have a television in a parking lot? What would you plug it into? How would you get reception, when we all have to be dependent on fancy hookerups that we can’t move and never fully own and have to pay for until we die to see anything these days? If it’s so easy to take your indoctrination machine on tour with you, why not go to a beach or a roller disco or a movie theater showing Enchanted with it? Any place at all would be more welcoming and comfortable than a generic asphalt void. But then, these people are so pathetic and easily impressed I suspect where they come from parking lots are the only things left. I doubt it was paradise before, though.
I’m not going to feign total ignorance, I’ve seen this type of fat-sweatshirted-oaf gathering depicted in ads before, generally associated with Amelica futbol. I do not watch the football (I’m simply not ready) but I’ve seen its timeslots on my tv listings, and football games last like four hours. If you’re lumping about for an hour and a half before that, and you do this every week, how can you not want to die? If you’re cramming salt and cheese cheez into your mouth the whole time, how can you not die? I mean; if it was me I’d run out of snacks before the thing even started and just go home. Which actually doesn’t sound that bad, if someone else provides the snacks and miraculously doesn’t exclusively buy things I hate. Maybe I should try to get in on this.
1000 questions about your favorite friends! If your favorite friends are people who don’t even know you exist, and perhaps more importantly don’t exist themselves, you need new friends.
I also can’t help noticing the resemblance of the included disc-object to Super Games Galore, the steamshovelware cd that ruined me for so many people.
…and here’s another one. Why is it shaped like this? Just to make storage difficult? So it will not group properly with standard rectangular games? That’s a pretty isolationist policy for people who claim to be so chumsy. The alternative is that this is not a game at all, but actually one of those cardboard paged books I used to read before I could read. Some of those may have been about friendship.
The only thing worse than a Friends trivia board game is massive famine, martial law, roving rape gangs, tornados, ehhh… but the only thing worse than a Friends trivia board game within the scope of this website entry is a Friends trivia video game. If you have a Playstation 2, you could theoretically pretend to do all sorts of astounding things. Certainly more interesting than what a couple goofs do in a couple giant apartments with walls missing. Certainly more interesting than being quizzed on what they once did. And… you wouldn’t play this game alone, would you? If you have other people to play against, you could play Bomberman or Marvel vs. Candy Corn or I don’t really know what’s been released for these infernal machines in the last ten years. But even a stupid video card game would be better than this, and those are horrible. There are a bunch of Jeopardy games, surely. There always have been. I wouldn’t ever recommend them, but if you insist on awkwardly answering questions through your television with no possible planned payoff you might as well see if you can learn something.
Don’t German people have their own tv shows? I hate this form of colonialism, saturating foreign markets with indoctrinating rubbish rather than allowing them to come up with their own rubbish. It’s often cheaper to buy rights to and translate other people’s reruns than it is pay fellow citizens to produce new content, so, with all successful capitalists being scoundrels at heart, of course they do that. Or at least some book I read that mostly focused on the 1960s because most of it was written then said that. Aren’t you impressed that I read a book, though?
Although I suppose in other countries what’s vapid and mundane here (United Statia) can seem exotic, fascinating and culturally enriching, but I have to think they’ve been having Amelica forced on them for almost a century by now. Sure, my favorite comics are translated (and frequently not translated at all) from French, but they’re not recent, and they’re not about dorks talking to each other and laminating lists and uh bathing. Tintin has serious business. Tintin prevents wars and rescues slaves. He also supports labor strikes.
If you can justify one book, I don’t know, but you certainly don’t need another.
I would like to name Rachel’s beloved childhood dog? I guess not. She can do that herself. But how much money would you pay to answer insignificant questions about one of the most inconsequentially-contented tv shows of recent memory? If your answer was under $10000, then there’s a good chance you’ll not be doing it with this product. I hope it’s not out of stock because somebody bought it. And yet at the same time I don’t see how you can set a price like that for a thing which you don’t have in stock yet but expect to with enough certainty that I can sign up to be notified when it is. If you’re expecting more, then that must be because more are being made, and if they can still be made, and “they” refers to a bunch of printed trinkets in a cookie tin rather than a flying gold toilet, how can you charge that price for it?
This is getting complicated.