At last, the non-awaited fourth installment to “Worst Selling Video Games.” This is, incidentally, my worst selling recurring feature.
Kirby’s Dream Lard
Space Hairier
Tim Meadow of Honor
Arrrgh-Type
Sadius
Remembered Worlds
Resident Weeble
Pocket Protector Knight Adventures
Ristard
Biosmock
Havest Moron
Super Nap Brothers Snawr
Embrionic Commando
Megamap
Tacky Wheels
Magic of Cher
Kilnation Instinct Breakfast
Prince of Purses
Street Fighter Tuba
Grand Theft Auto on Ice City
Nightquack
Tomb Waiter
Tears for Fears of War
No One Lisps Forever
Capital Gains Taxanadu
Knuckles Arthritix
Earthbrown
Sim Gritty
Raid on Bumbeling Bee
Tetanustris
Shiren the Wonderer
Whining in the Darkness
Landsquawker
Secretion of Mana
Skyrofoamrim
King’s Kvetch
Contrabass Effect
Blaster Mustard
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PurpleSpace sez:
You forgot Secret of Evening Bore. Maybe you never played it? The secret is the butler did it. Out of the limited cast, it could have been one of the pleasant looking characters or the one sinister looking character.
pzkfw sez:
one of my favorite things to do for video games is making up fake cheats, like the ones I remember from 10 years ago before there was any sort of quality control where people couldn’t even report the cheat as not working, and you can still find that sort of thing lying around when you look up old games. They’re better when they fundamentally go against everything about game development, but you don’t realise that as a kid. No company would spend that kind of time to make some huge amount of stuff that only about 200 people out of millions who play the game will see, especially to make some system that actually detects all of the “input” for the cheat before you even get there. Especially when the secret in question couldn’t even physically have fit on the media.
real life examples:
>in ocarina of time you can do this thing that I won’t tell you but you can play an entire secret campaign as young link and never become an adult and there’s entire secret dungeons to play through
>in final fantasy 7 talk to this one guy 1238912857 times and then a secret cutscene will play about aerith coming back to life and then they have sex and then the entire rest of the game is totally different
fun fake cheat I made up:
>in starcraft brood war make 201 hydralisks on the first zerg mission and then a super secret real cutscene will show where kerrigan jumps off the planet so fast and flies through dugalle’s battlecruiser and grabs him and they are both screaming and then she continues flying with him into char and hits the overmind baby and they all explode and die and then zeratul shows up and laughs but then the game continues like normal
Charmlaton sez:
List is culturally bias.
that darn anteater sez:
Currently speedrunning Knuckles Arthritix. It is unpleasant.
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