This plant-like-organism seems first enthusiastic and then disapproving about something. Whatever that is seems to have not been fully drawn yet.

Step Bother

A surprising number of my picture ideas seem to involve stairs.
Why does nemitz look at ME at the end? Why does it try and put responsibility on me for mitz mitztakes? I am half-convinced nemitz did this on purpose to try and get sympathy out of me. Know this: none is forthcoming! I have a good mind to kick nemitz out of the house, but its willful incompetence has deprived me of the right.

a potential design for new potential business cards. Alas, I know nothing of business, and my card attempts reflect that. I subconsciously channeled this ancient, totally unusable design:

Both are way too busy but they are at least honest. If I delivered a simple, efficient, graphic designy card it would be a lie because that is not the sort of product I produce. I was hoping the old card design would be conspicuously less legible by comparison to the new one when reduced, but alas they are about the same! I never used it as a card, but I did expand it vertically to use as a sign at some event about which there is little positive to say. [email protected] is the same email address I had then; anything @bimshwel.com gets forwarded to me but I have difficulty deciding on what placebo [email protected] to give myself.

This one is from 2011, long enough ago that I thought inkbunny would ultimately be something I could admit to having an account on, and was willing to put money behind promoting my use of. If you are unfamiliar with Inkbunny, good. All you need to know is that it does not allow Toothcup.

That it does not allow Toothcup, capital T, that is actually one of the things it has going for it, and that many of the people you will deal with wish that were not the case. If you do not know what toothcup is, good. All you need to know is less than I already told you.

These days I will not put any of them on my card, which is in fact the very reason I chose horrible “names” like “queg” and “skrimpf” to begin with: so that nobody could connect them to my legal horrible name. I chose queg so nobody would know I had a deviantart account, and then I chose skrimpf so nobody would know queg was using furfaninity. I chose frubaklop because I had lost control of my life and figured there was no sense in hiding anymore.

For a brief, notorious period, and it must have been brief because it looks as if even at the time I was uncertain whether I should keep the website names vague so as to avoid outing myself all needless-like, I thought I was comfortable, and I cursed myself for choosing names nobody would ever look for me at, and now I am grateful again. This is my place and these are my people so I should not deny it, I seem to have thought. Those are not my places. I mention them here specifically because I thought it would be sufficient to stop using those names and websites to make people stop identifying me with them, which was not the case so I will say it here: please do not ever call me skrimpf, unless you are deliberately trying to irritate me, which is a valid pursuit, but better you do it on purpose than by mistake. I do have http://bimshwel.deviantart.com/ , which queg forwards to, but “DA” is still fundamentally a fanart porn site, like the other two, that I will always be marginalized on [for not drawing or appreciating fanart porn], and I prefer to be marginalized on my own terms. However, such websites are a bit more social than my heap, here, so I keep on with the one I am least embarrassed about overall.

At this point in the original manuscript I digressed into several paragraphs on identity and denial that were beside the point and tone, and were keeping me from finishing this, even though I only came to post the one picture! They have been removed for now. Indeed I am as messed up inside up as my card is outside. Why pretend? Why try and trick somebody into hiring me based on something that is uncharacteristic of what I can deliver?

Because otherwise I will not be hired! The first cards I actually had printed were very sparse, since that was, is the only way I could have control of the situation.

Control, such as with my broken, spring-based mechanical heating control panel, which these cards were useful for regulating the strength of during our six months of winter. I discussed a key design aspect in more detail here, but the blank space after “and” was so I could write something different on each card, such as “intrepid tortellini,” “raisin toads,” or “no dopes,” because I am not satisfied unless I make a hassle out of everything. The foremost one here says “you know what, you deserve it.” I can say that because you are here now, and therefore on some level you do.

I make drawings of subject matter specified by other people in exchange for money sometimes. I do not publicize it here, or most places, for a reason which miraculously lasted for eight sentences, so here in stead is that picture which I drew for free for nobody again. I realized this is my website and I can post the same picture on as many occasions as I wish, and if anybody has a problem they can challenge me to personal combat for control of the website, as goes the ancient custom of our people, and I can either accept or choose a surrogate, with the knowledge that if the surrogate wins my rule will still be considered illegitimate by much of the populace, and the surrogate would also have the right to challenge me, requiring that I choose another surrogate, and on and on. My reign is miserable and fraught with peril.

They look familiar.

I just realized that only one of them has ears. However, I have seen this loop about 413 times. Most people will not need to.

And NOW I have noticed how awkward the green one’s head goes when it lands. And worse, I did not keep count of how many more loops I watched while wondering how noticeable that is.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I subsequently meddled with the head extension but earage is yet inadequate.

My next dork in progress. It is also a previous dork in progress since I tend to dork on them out of order.

Initially the lowest creature had only the slightest resemblance to a stegosaurus. It is mildly more accurate now but I wonder if I would be better off going in the deliberately inaccurate direction like I ordinarily would with anything else I could not draw properly (such as homo-sapiens-sapioids), and I cannot say with certainty that I initially set out to draw a specific lumpus beast anyhow. But there may yet be value in learning to draw specific beasts. For example, if I need one quartered.

I am glad I can make things that nobody else would ever claim to have made. That is what this one has going for it.

A scrap of another cartoon I never finished! Almost three years ago! It would have been the first verified appearance of the pathetic snake. I am not good at coming up with stories for these things, just nonsense filler for between what ought to be the important parts.

The other cartoon I have the “story” for but I keep adding needlessly elaborate background characters that need to be redrawn constantly and at some point I am going to have to sing the dang song into a machine. And then there are at least four more parts that I at the moment only have idiotic rhyming lyrics and midis for. There is no reason for me to say this because if you ever see the result, it will be eight or more years from now long after your mind has found a less useful fact to push this one out with.

Road Worriers
They make the road worried, I suppose. Not a great title. They make ME worried, of course, but I am not a road. The beach here is already eroded and even as a non-swimmer I find it depressing, so I try to avoid repeating its mistakes.
The story is that for a minor art exhibition I needed to make a sign gesturing in the general rightward direction, and I failed (but put it up anyway).

Moose Lee

There are a number of possible interpretations. I theorize that the eggplant is being confiscated for the moose’s own good.

Two boring, unrelated practice drawings combined. Yes, I do practice! Just not anything important or useful.

The problem should never have gotten this bad.

The results speak for themselves. Specifically, they say KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
You might believe it took me eight years to get to coloring this, but regardless of your belief the fact remains that it did.

Where are they going? Hopefully wherever I am not going.

Similar in conception to pogone, in that I did it to figure what characters I was drawing for a very brief scene in the beet cartoon, but not as well realized, and I was less sure of what I was doing, based on it, in the animation, which I cannot show you yet! Still it is a moderately functional image.

american where-dope in paris

I would be glad nemitz is lost, but if I am lost too then that increases my risk of meeting nemitz.
Based on a sketch I did in Paris in 2013 a few days into my trip. I thought the picture would go somewhere when I added color, but it didn’t, really! It is not the worst thing to happen to Paris this week, though. And now my tablet is useless — I wrote an explanation of how it became useless, but thought I should make my post about the Paris murders before I did anything so self-serving, if I was going to post it at all, because I am obsessed with what imaginary people think of me, even though I specifically resolved not to be, and then that took too long, but I felt obligated to say that I wrote something, even if I cannot show it, so I could allow myself to post something that makes it seem like I am willfully ignorant, even though I actually meant to have it uploaded two weeks ago– so I will need to put it away for a while.

Slaughter Balloons

I first hinted at the idea back in 2008 for a greeting card design. However, nobody wants to be greeted by dumb old nemitz (the orange, incorangeable imp). The card I made still ultimately had a nemitz in it but that does not mean anybody wanted it there.

The only major thing I changed was putting the balloons in a bucket, but I decided on that rather late! It was suggested to me that due to the uncommon environment it was not clear what the balloons were. It must have been so jarringly unclear that the commenter neglected to say “and also, please shove that dumb mitz off the cliff edge back there.

There also was an issue in which I kept making the house in the background crummier but it still seemed too fancy for nemitz. But you know, an emptied fish barrel is too fancy for nemitz. A laundry basket is too fancy for nemitz. A non-emptied fish barrel is too fancy for nemitz and violates the civil rights of fish. I just had to accept that and move on.