the NEXT page should be available before july 19 ends, but I also thought that about July 15, which is why I didn’t say anything.
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page 60 of this

possibly you will be disappointed but it was necessary. I can change the specifics at a later point (as I apparently have done with the scenery in this room numerous times), and to a degree before the next page. somebody I last saw 11 years ago and who no longer exists in any form I am aware of told me never to show this but

that person later also sternly reprimanded me over tumblr for my complaining about excessive quantities of unremarkable nearly identical fanart units and built a shrine to a team fortress 2 character in its home and so I generally do not regard its opinions highly

the “original” design for this character, when identified internally as “pico de gallo,” before I decided on traits that will not be evident until the next page, called for it to have a single eye stalk. However now that Gidjmerg exists and also has a single eye, even stalkless that makes them seem more related than they are. It was also rather bulky but it looks too jabba the hutly the way I tried and decided against here. apart from any of that I don’t want to add more characters that are hard for me to draw, however infrequently they will be seen.
this character didn’t necessarily exist in the old comic strip that kumquat’s ancestor and pog came from, but I also remember drawing it holding a doom chaingun back when I thought that was a “cool” thing to draw. Almost as much as holding a wine glass, even though I had no desire to drink wine and 20 or more years later I still haven’t.

I also drew proto-kaklabesk holding a wine glass, in one of the very few surviving fragments from my earliest doom edits, which is perhaps why I ended up putting its weaponry in the same category. I couldn’t find the chaingun drawing in this sketch book, but I did find numerous pictures of

proto-lope physically assaulting nemitz which hopefully is all the information you need about how my thinking has changed since then. I can’t say nemitz doesn’t deserve it but lope simply isn’t that dangerous.

to follow on the topic of southern us commercialism = southern us culture, in Atlanta Georgia immediately adjacent to the ostensibly educational Georgia Aquarium is the “World of Coca Cola,” whose singular goal is to advertise a non-health-contributing beverage at you, one that is sold at literally every vendor in the city, if not the state, and you need to PAY to get in!

I did not go there, but since I went to the aquarium I was near enough to it to see that the price of admission does not get you any complementary product to consume either.

and also a rather incongruous mix of attractions. I wonder if this is a legally mandated community service sort of thing since the drink was invented by John Pemberton, a confederate colonel/snake oil merchant/eye surgeon who owned slaves.

It makes me wonder if the Coca Cola company ever experimented with putting cans of coke into archive footage of revdr Martin Luther Kingjr and Rosa Parks like they did with Fred Astaire and Groucho Marx.

ALSO my angle isn’t: don’t drink coke, it was invented by a slave owner (though “don’t drink coke, it’s liquid candy” is valid); every company that old was started by a slave owner. If pepsi was a decade or so older it would also have been. Slavery is woven into the textile of american history, if not white history as a whole, and human history as a wholer, to paraphrase the hokey sort of person who wants to pretend slavery didn’t happen or benefit them. BUT I can imagine the contemporary owners of the company considering that an image-related problem for them and wanting to make sure they have a defense prepared that they can point at when the topic comes up.

But EARLIER in June I needed to visit a hard wares store. While operating an automobile even. Rather a change from the earlier days of this website. My life has changed but my opinions haven’t. My cousins once insisted that when I was older I would appreciate the Beatles and Bob Dylan also. I don’t, I merely encounter more songs that are worse than theirs. While momentarily stopped at a traffic intersection near the store, I overheard bits of a hokey country-sounding song playing from a neighboring motorist’s vehicle. I thought that was odd, and so was quite surprised when I arrived at the store and the SAME song was playing from the local sound system. The song’s lyrics concerned how “we all have a hill billy bone down deep inside,” essentially trying to say we are all dumb southerners who enjoy songs like this ultimately. Somehow it was released in 2009 and I was never prior aware of its existence. My gripe, though, is it isn’t a hillbilly song. there is no fiddle, no banjo, no jug or washboard. It has electric guitars and studio production. No hillbilly music is getting played on a radio station in Madison Connecticut, if anywhere.

The singers, apparently there are two, aren’t hillbillies either. They are red necks. Hillbillies do stuff for a reason or out of necessity, rednecks just affect the imagery they see from celebrities and/or politicians. If you observe a hillbilly wearing a cowboy hat, chances are that’s just the only kind of hat available, or maybe you’ve even witnessed an actual cowboy. Rednecks vote for Trump, hillbillies don’t trust city folk, if they’re even registered to vote, if they even know an election is happening. Dumb rednecks are dumb by choice because somehow or another that is a status symbol, dumb hillbillies are dumb because their schools are under-funded, if they even have schools. Rednecks collect guns and pose with them on instagram, Hillbillies know that you know they have guns and don’t need to advertise it, and as long as you stay off their land it won’t become an issue. Assuming they still have land and corporations supported by rednecks haven’t cheated them out of it. Rednecks swear they aren’t racist, especially the racist ones. Hillbillies, again, don’t care who thinks they are racist. Rednecks hate queers. Hillbillies think rednecks are queers.

In fact, it isn’t even a redneck song. it sounds more like Black Cat by Janet Jackson in 1990 than anything country or Appalachian. Supposedly Black Cat is “Jackson’s first solo writing credit.” Do you know who wrote the Hillybilly boney song? Two totally different people that aren’t the ones singing it.

it’s about the phoniest garbage I have heard of since a tv commercial advertising “honky tonk badonkadonk,” which I looked up for this post today and BOTH songs are sung by Trace Adkins, who has never had a solo writing credit. Though this apparently was written by a different group of boneheads who sell songs to other boneheads than the song about bones.

pardon me, “bro-heads.” Thankfully I didn’t know about this terminology i 2005, else I might have requested my immediate execution rather than a pardon. The only group phonier and jerkier and more addicted to following orders from unaccountable imbeciles than rednecks are bros.

I don’t get this at all. You don’t want black people in your neighborhoods, your public offices or your precious advertising but you will appropriate vernacular like “badunkadunk” from their dumbest recording artists. Is that just to make it so lame that they don’t want it either? Black rappers stopped saying “bling” so fast that I can’t tell if the scheme worked or if the originators realized it was lame before that happened.

and the “previous single” is called Arlington. Possibly the most deliberately depressing place in the united states, Arlington National Cemetery, and again written by other people, even though the album is titled “songs about me.” Trace Atkins is not buried in Arlington Nat’l Cemetery, and he never will be unless he gets crushed by a meteorite whose path sent it through the fence while he was being chaffeured past the place. Though as I mentioned in a title tag above this I was surprised to learn that Adkins has in fact been fired upon by an enemy combatant and hit, but the aggressor was his second of four wives.
He only has a song that mentions it because redneck is a quasi-relgious identity, where you subjugate women and drink international conglomerate brand beer (provided it isn’t endorsed by anyone gay or trans) and crow about how “rebellious” you are then suddenly are serious and solemn worshiping [the concept of] The Troops on designated federal holidays while picking fights with anyone who isn’t. The only reason we still HAVE troops in 2023 is because bullies and idiots who obey bullies won’t stop picking fights over really stupid issues.
What a phony pandering sack of empty nonsense this goobert is.

he has had seventeen studio albums full of songs about the same three topics, all written by other people, and he wants me to believe he wrote a book? About how free-thinking he is? He’s literally named after copying someone else’s work. I CHECKED, he is credited as a co-writer on ten songs, total, in twenty five years, which admittedly is more than I was expecting, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he did more than make a suggestion, and only the first was released as a single. Since it wasn’t a hit single I guess his writing privileges were revoked. Which is more about the machinations of The Music Industry as a whole than redneckery specifically, but as noted that is inextricable from corporate directives. Nobody is less rebellious than people who need you to know they are rebels.
Even compared to his hill billy co-boning co-singer Blake Shelton Adkins is depressing. Shelton has 16 co-writing credits in 12 albums and even a single solo credit in twenty zero years, and has actually been photographed not wearing a cowboy hat. Unfortunately now I know hard trivia about both of them and may even be able to discern them from each other.

but there are always worse things to know.

great food if your oxen can ford the river
Maybe I am too accustomed to the stereotyped labeling of the northeast united states and national chains but I can’t help wondering if this Mexican restaurant primarily serves corn meal biscuits and any rabbits you caught en route. Stranger still, it is in Helen, a German-themed tourist town, in north Georgia.
I was there for four days last week. I took thousands of pictures. Some of them weren’t even blurry, but I am too tired to finish this sentence. I also spent two days in Atlanta, the Coca Cola capital of the world, also in Georgia. For once I was in an area where I could reliably trust no place would only have pepsi when I wanted coke, but I just drank water the whole time, and occasionally iced tea.

They don’t have “iced tea” in Georgia either, preferring unpalatable “sweet tea” but that is great once I squeeze four lemon slices into it. And here is a picture of that, apparently. You can tell I was out of my home since the broken android brand mobile device I usually employ in this era is visible here so I must have been using the bigger mechanical digital camera that I bring on long trips, because it takes pictures of the wider variety of supermarkets and public restrooms I visit away from my home much faster and blurrier than any touch-screen device. A drink that isn’t good, at all, “starry.”

I never heard of it before I got to the Laguardia airport; I researched the matter and learned that Sierra Mist sodee pop was discontinued at some point. Then replaced with “mist twist,” then returned, then discontinued again and replaced with this.
Unless it was singularly responsible for the debilitating bladder ache I felt for the next hour before I was free to tend to that, I would say that Starry “hits” exactly the same as every other bland “lemon-lime” drink since 7-up changed its recipe to taste like Sprite in 1998. And even that I didn’t think about until this napkip was already crumpled, on its way out and separated from the actual product it accompanied, hence this being one of the blurry shots I mentioned.
I asked for starry because the drink was “free” and despite flying out of Atlanta and offering coca cola’s horrid Minute Maid “”juice”” brand, the flight only stocked Pepsi-brand non-juices, I wanted to ingest some calories on the flight, but was morally opposed to purchasing food at airport prices.

I had reluctantly reacquainted myself with Minute Maid on the previous week’s incoming flight and imagined I was set for life on that. So what the heck I thought, I will try this thing that it wants me so badly to try. And indeed it was badly.

I would like a proper national brand of this stuff.
That is not Mt. Dew; apart from the garish dye they are fairly dissimilar. For sodas, I mean.
Even the local restaurants that have Foxon Park on tap don’t offer the green flavor. Instead they have “Gassosa,” which tastes like Sprite.

It is frustrating that a company which has a superior citrus drink more heavily emphasizes the one that tastes like a less-good but better-known citrus drink. But that is how capitalism works. Most effort is put into remaking, rebooting, and ripping off stuff that already exists and aren’t great but are proven to generate revenue. But even with that in mind I don’t know why pepsi makes a big fuss over releasing a new soda that is indistinguishable from its old soda.

It’s essentially what McDonalds does with the mcrib sandwiches, getting press every other week when “it’s back” even though nobody seems to notice or care when it leaves. the pepsi company has to design and manufacture new logos and labels (and inadequately sized promotional napkins), and distribute them to every business that was selling sierra mist whenever it does this, if those places even go to the trouble of changing the drink machine labels, nevermind the menus, which makes building name recognition for the rebranded product complicated, since if somebody orders sierra mist off last month’s menu and gets a cup of Starry instead they probably won’t even notice. Unless the server says “sorry, we have starry” and then the buyer has to wonder what starry is and ponder whether to try it. Heapwhile mcdonalds just has to dust off the rip-shaped mold that the meat paste and pork syrup get sprayed into and pull the “mcrib is back!” sign out from under the counter.

Incidootily it is peculiar to me what a hullabaloo mcdonalds made about ‘grimace’s birthday’ last week when the character hasn’t been used in a quarter century and is best known now for appearing in a 1980s ad with Trump. All the mcdonalds characters got revoked because they were designed to represent mcdonalds food (including grimace, though not in my lifetime), which the company needed to be able to insist it was not targeting at children. They could show Ronald McDonald doing “healthy” things like playing basketball or doing his taxes or whatever, since he is at his core just a human who dresses funny. But you can’t rehabilitate the Hamburglar; he exists only to steal hamburgers and Mcdonalds isn’t allowed to put hamburgers into its marketing aimed at kids anymore, even though hamburgers is what it sells. And mcdonalds still has special “meals” specifically FOR kids, which have the same food in them, packed into boxes covered with imagery of OTHER company’s characters in promotion of material that will rot kids’ brains just as much as the food will rot their other organs. Everybody with money is lying, and the regulators all know it, but they don’t have enough funding or resources themselves to care about it. Meatwhile the politicians running on the platform of ostensibly protecting “our kids” get financed by companies like McDonalds and its happy meal cobranders, and want nothing more than to cut funding for regulation further, then seal the deal by appointing their like-minded buddies to all the chief positions. ha, ha haaaaaa

i SUPPOSE pepsi might be planning some longer term scheme, with a massive “Sierra Mist is BACK!” campaign planned for if its pseudonym doesn’t catch on, like when Coca Cola reintroduced “Coke Classic!” after New! Coke flopped in 1985 (which I am not old enough to remember but it was a popular joke topic for years). HOWEVER that only worked because Coca Cola was already the market leader and was just spooked by pepsi’s cola supposedly winning “blind taste test”s, in addition to fears that an alternative Coke would steal market share points from the main coke and might let pepsi claim to be the number one cola just because it didn’t have a second pepsi, unless new coke BECAME the main coke. The fragile egos of billionaires afraid of imaginary numbers were the only factor*. Whereas Sierra Mist was hardly bought by anyone at the time of its most recent supposed removal.
*AND the reason for the flop was the fragile cultural identifies of rednecks who care about marketing too much and mistake brand preference for cultural identity + bullying from complacent attention seeking doofuses who don’t have real problems. They have a lot in common with those now protesting woke. Woke is the new New Coke. I liked old 7-up better than new 7-up or the other drinks it changed itself to be as less-good-as but it truly is not of great importance to me.

anyway I have to go clean out the car since it looks like a hurricane tore off the roof and flooded it while I was away.

isn’t it enough to beat up on these meeply little space aliens without stealing their handkerchiefs?


You’re not even going to let them wipe away their tears after you bop them into the air so they get stuck with their points in the ground?

If I had been consulted I would have insisted on giving them big smiles, stupid-looking ears and or bowties so players would understand that these creatures deserved this outcome.

See, how easy was that? Too easy. It does not deserve to succeed
WELL now that I have drawn and looked at this thing I realize it strongly resembles most of the moogles in the game. Why can’t I beat them up?

ARRRGF what WORTHLESS moogles! They already weren’t qualified to do a job and now they aren’t trying to! They are even named after how worthless they are! And now they are on my web page! I can’t handle this! I’m leaving.

page 59 of this.
It still does not address lope (the lizard), the gnomes in lope’s apartment or the elpsemitz situations which I also set up without concluding, but I think this is important since I laid out the next lope part over ten years ago before the character gidjmerg existed, and so I feel it necessary to explain why gidjmerd is not going to be accounted for in it. Or at least I do not expect it to be.
the “art” work on this page is particularly questionable. I tried that third row at least four different ways. The usual gripe, not enough space for all the junk I want to force in. Then three years from now I will either think it looks fine or that the solution to fixing it is obvious. Unless to spite myself having said this I will be just as confounded, so I anti-spited that by drawing attention to it, but then re-spat by drawing attention to my drawing at-AGHGHGHGHGHGHG I’VE BEEN RECONFIGURED

Another day, another creepy yellow sky.

I am going to have to start wearing a helmet when I go outside now.

Assuming the subject event is “breathing,” how am I meant to avoid that which wouldn’t be worse than not avoiding it?

I decided that early in the dope “game,” in order to progress it would be necessary to annoy this thing, whatever it is, by throwing, probably, a strawberry at it, after it asks you to bring it some blueberries.
I have yet to draw in the orange ribbon-things. yet I made a retaliatory gesture for if the player tries to attack it with something other than a strawberry, even though i could have just have the thing “WAH” at and force backward the player since, as evidenced by the linked sequence, it does have that “power.” But I also like the idea of it remaining calm UNTIL the strawberry.

AND all this will probably only be seen once!

I like in hexen how some “switches” are activated with situationally relevant items rather than just pressing the activate button in front of them, but I dislike the heretic/hexen inventory system, as it uses buttons I do not normally press, and they can be used regardless of what the hands are doing and can be used rapidly and stupidly in the heat of combat, provided you have remapped the buttons to something more practical. I want to try out the idea of using items the same way as weapons. it is tricky because generally only buttons 0 through 9 can be used for selecting those, but since the player is controlling a dope i probably wouldn’t give it too many items at once, and i would remove weaker versions of weapons that get replaced so the same number could be used to select them. like chaingun takes over the pistol slot, that sort of thing.
OF COURSE i have seen modifications where the pistol still has value since it is more precise, or like in dark forces where the chaingun-like gun uses more bullets than the regular gun. right but a lot of this is still speculative. Yes even after 6ish years of development, after more years of more passive development before that, I still do not know precisely what I am trying to do.
nuke dukem 3d has the equipped weapon go away and a hand show up and use keycards, when necessary, without needing to designate a keycard as a weapon, but I don’t know how to do that in the doom engine or if there even is a way without another pile of code I don’t understand and I hate asking for that.
my idea might still be annoying, unless the solutions are fairly intuitive, especially with thrown items that would need to be picked up again or replaced. this one isn’t intuitive, but since, at the moment, the strawberry is the first item you can get and there are only two points of interest that you might think to throw it at i IMAGINE it is functional, which is an improvement upon imagining that I might think of things to try later.

But I also need to make more comic pages. It is funny to have a project where even less takes longer to happen than in that.

I never finished playing lagoon either. I much prefer the present tasks I am never finishing.

100 years of wonder? I have only been wondering why people accept and buy into the cultural indoctrination for 30!
and true enough the oldest character design on this box is tinkey bell from 1953 and it isn’t even a cel from the peter pan movie. They don’t show Peter because this box is also trying to communicate “100 years of diversity,” rather than 85 years of conventional american sexism and whiteness + 15 years of selective rehabilitative marketing. And gosh Tiana the flagship Disney representation character spends most of her own movie as a flappindappin frog and unlike Elsa front and center didn’t get a sequel. I was going to call elsa “the content creator and influencer of the disney canon,” irresponsible, selfish and impervious to criticism, rewarded just for existing and given a second movie just to exist some more but i have mercifully not been exposed to it and I will take that.

Mickey mouse is an older character than Tinkler, but this isn’t the 1923 design, because that is now public domain! And would have been sooner if the us government didn’t contort itself and the country with it to put disney above the law while disney was upholding conventional american heteronormative sexism and whiteness. Disney CAN still use the design but since I also can use it disney has disowned it in effect. Anything that disney does not have exclusive rights to isn’t good enough for it. I think this is the design used for the fairly recent meme-styled digitally animated cartoons which 1920s audiences absolutely would not have tolerated.
to be “fair” dumbo and alice of wonderland are on the side of the box. as is the guy from Soul– I don’t know his name but I presume it is Sammy Soul–, the [horrid] red car from [horrid] cars and for some reason another character from Toy Story because i guess that is more marketable than the bug life, inside doubt or up characters that disney also owns and tried just as hard to convince me I cared about.
also I don’t HAVE to be fair to the side panel because when I saw this box in a store the other day only the front side was visible and apart from that cereal boxes have rarely been fair to me.

also right in front, my least favorite cowboy, and I hate most cowboys, even before i knew its face to have been enlarged for the horrifying facade of this whatever this is (and longer still before irritating voice actor Tom Hanks came out in favor of having computers put his irritating self apart from his voice into movies at the expense of everyone except his progeny once he dies, meaning we could have a forrest gump sequel that is 100% manipulated archive footage.) All this is good for is proof for anyone who wants to correct me and say “uh those are PIXAR movies, not disney movies.” disney considers them disney movies. And I don’t trust anyone who begins arguments with “uh” apart from that.

by the same token-ism I noticed in my rubbish bin this disney-branded princess-head cannibal-in-training snack cracker package, with the very white cinder ella beside the non-white moana and non-white jasmine even though jasmine and her fingernailless escort have been ambiguously caucasian in official imagery, products and vhs box covers in the past.

And I don’t mind if they want to make the character seem definitively brown now, but if you’re celebrating the legacy of the disney company, this is part of that. Because contrary to the image it gets to present by appearing relatively benign beside the mascot for the more outwardly evil men in Florida, willfully elected by residents of Florida to govern it, an overwhelming majority of disney’s existence was spent run by, catering to the desires of and being protected by people like him, and still very much is.

yeah ha ha get em disney. this Connecticut place of business is literally putting a for-profit corporation over a state in the union and gloating about it. Not over the state’s governor, not the governor’s political party, not the state’s contingent of proudly aggressive proudlier ignorant voters, but Florida itself. Dumb trash scumbags. This is also the place that in 2012 charged me $24 to put a crummy piece of foam board over a[n admittedly scrappy] painting when i went in there and couldn’t justafford $112 to have it framed and they would probably want to charge three times that now. of course they support glorification of money makers of dubious merit. Ironically if they had printed out and displayed a newer version of mick e mouse on their store or their house without consulting a lawyer first and paying for proper rights and arranging for proper legal disclaimers to be shown they would probably get sued for this act.

how many kids request “disney brands” for their birthday presents but are disappointed when they cannot hold the brands in their hands?
i can hardly process how transparently capitalist and worthless and targeting people raised to think that is noble this is. “60 minis.” mini WHAT? Mini BRANDS! to COLLECT. not to play with, just to buy and have. except you don’t actually get told which you get, so you actually have to buy more than 60. disney is profiting from legalized gambling aimed at children. Disney did not invent this but disney hasn’t really “invent”ed anything in decades. it just identifies trashy stuff other people do without being criticized that it can appropriate and exploit for maximum profit.
I don’t understand how you can tout the rarity of something that you 100% control the rarity of and not get called out for it unless it’s disney who could market sweatshop produced hand grenades shaped like epcot center and sell them at walmart and the only controversy would be that the grenades were gay or not white enough somehow and disney would get extra media points for that despite not actually having made the grenades gay and them being very very white as if they are actually funneling money into dipwit far-right groups to toss out and publicize asinine accusations that actually make them look better.
I suppose I should be glad this eminently suspicious box doesn’t mean “brand” in the cattle marking sense. Not until morons on the tik-tok website take it upon themselves to take that upon themselves. And then disney appropriates and sells and gets congratulated for that too. Because ultimately both disney and the republican party are surrogate religious cults for and by rich privileged boneheads who only look out for themselves.

The heart of their disagreement is whose out of control unneutered dogma gets to bark loudest, and I don’t want to be in the house with either of them.

if you tell me to then I probably do not want to!

a commission drawing for a person called relaxingdragon1 in which some subway graffiti comes to life and seems interested in why a relatively small raccoon person is not interested in it. This was complicated to draw and I do not totally understand its appeal but more people seem to like it than usual. I presume most of them did not notice the nemitz.

a creature previously identified as zipe or eemp that i want to be able to jump, like the fyip now can, but also jump kick despite those requiring different animations because i am never efficient where it counts.

i like the idea of fyips flopping over if they try and jump down from too high a point. obviously i haven’t made any frames for that yet! but zipes being glop-formed (similar to dopes) simply splotch on the ground slightly. i have not planned nearly well enough to have their glop characteristics matter more deeply than that.
also now seeing these against this dark background I realize how inconsistently colored they are, a likely consequence of the regular jump frames being totally new while the kicking frames I initially drew in 2019 before I introduced shadow colors and simply altered this week. Of course the jump pose uses a walk frame as a base, BUT both the walk and kick attack were based on 2003/4 era sprites, with the kicking motion made after I amended the game palette to have two extra dark browns, which I guess carried over into the remade sprites to some degree even though those were all made with the same number of browns available, so in fact they didn’t match before either, but it wasn’t as glaring as this since the shadows weren’t colored then. Does that make sense? It shouldn’t. I will need to see which looks less out of place once I implement the new set of motions. The creature being colored isn’t nearly as tough as it thinks it is whatever the case.

today is this website’s twenty first or twenty second anniversary. I do not talk about my birth-day but i mention its. However I named myself “bimshwel” after it and retroactively renamed it to just be this/the/that website so I owe it at least this courtesy. It will continue to be malnourished on update quality.

as someone who watched the manda lorian show when it was new and managed to enjoy it at the time despite the hype and my disapproval for the streaming platform being paid for by someone in my home, my immediate mental interpretation of the illustration on this object was “gremlin hiding in grimy toilet.” I don’t know what a tub tread is but it probably isn’t meant to be used in this location relative to the tub’s.

counter-intuitively, encanto being reduced to flat colors and simple shapes deprives it of a substantial quantity of disingenuous murderability, though certainly not being able to hear it also helps.

I don’t know what this is for either, but if a scent’s origin is a factory sealed package then it definitely isn’t natural. Maybe this is for scaring animals off your property.

an important rule for using currency portraits to advertise your business: make sure that if you’re going to crop within the existing dark backdrop so that it risks looking like hair and push the contrast so that the shadow under the nose risks looking like a mustache that these don’t combine to read as Hitler when seen from a distance.

yeah

also a good idea: don’t put a cartoon hitler in your official corporate logo. the “stars and stripes” 19th century bed attire isn’t fooling anyone (It also doesn’t makes sense since the stripes are inconsistently oriented between the sleeves and the middle part). even if you later remove the mustache and change the name of your company to “mattress firm” a few years later some creep on the internet is always going to remember.

I think it is telling that Sleepy teams up with two veterans of the Avengers but NOT Captain America. I understand it was mutual; Captain America objected to Sleepy ripping off his aesthetic and Sleepy objected to Captain America’s conduct during their previous meetings.

can it be mere coincidence that Tucky Carlson was terminated from Fox News only days after I linked him to mortimewde stapleton meepmire? Yes, but I shall pretend otherwise until I can get meepmire somehow terminated from existence.

hey look it’s

Worst Selling Video Games volume 7

bravely default on your mortgage

a boy and his job

bengazi warriors

david crane’s amazing dentist

stop & shop’n music

space partitioners

super smash bronchitis

profoundly mediocre giana sisters

the guardian nemitz

shining whores

phonograph recca

schtickmaster

charlie cristalis

marvel super sneeros

fantastic dentures of dizzy

bad dudes vs good dudes

papal mario

super mario land 2: six geese-a-laying

Hey Punk! Are you MARK A RUFFALO

uncharted wafers

road trash

nobunaga’s air conditioner

argylevania 2: simon’s sweatervest

catch it and spank

lode punner

kuros: delusions of grandeur

jazz jack

chortle kombat

simshanty

shitty connection

aghast ninja

nincompoop gaiden

shinobee 52

revolution eggs

arby’s baseball

yie arby’s kungfood

Rygarby’s

Jackie Chan’s Action Tomfoolery

sylvan failure

desert strike: return to the picket line

blake scab: planet strikebreaker

Bubblo the Relaxobath

bubble bible

Chrono Sauce

part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
part 6 I can’t believe I used Five Weekends at Bernie’s already
part 8 comes after this one!

yes let us all celebrate women’s sports. I don’t have an interest in men’s sports either

–unless racing randomized versions of old final fantasies counts as a sport, and it probably shouldn’t.–
and find men’s sports’ media saturation obscene even without any proximity to people who do watch them, so they ought to be held in equal esteem to womens’, sure. However I don’t think giving the Cracker Jack kid a drag makeover is going to accomplish anything except alienate old people who learn about this via the fox news outrage vine or a surrogate and I have never seen a young person eating this stuff nor heard one mention it outside the context of the Take me out Ballgame song, and definitely not recently.
you know what else isn’t helping women

if you can’t make “women” character without putting big lips and ludicrous eyelashes on them then you aren’t flipping any quos regardless of what kind of shoes you put on them. In fact obsessing over their shoes is even quoier. To the brand’s credit, I finally saw its actual announcement and it DOESN’T MENTION the dingdang shoes.

It mentions a lot of other eye rolling ludicrosity like “signature jester wit” and the gosh darn ampersand but it was entirely dork journalists,

foremost Tucker “couldn’t REALLY be worse than Sean Hannity, right?” Carlson, akkka the world’s second worst use of a bowtie, who LOOKED at the 1 minute video in which the characters don’t even appear until after a 45 second long corporate hokewave, and NOTICED the shoe changes and made a fuss over it, and then arguably more legitimate journalists fussed over that fuss.

and this garbage, I only found today when trying to find proof of the previous thing I linked to, which, again, was primarily evident through terrible “news” articles being written about it. But in this case there is no defense to be made of the source ditzinformation; everything about it is stupid. “We didn’t think anyone would notice” is a profoundly disingenuous statement; it was ALL meant to be noticed, just with better balance. and apart from the disingenuity of the statement that the “spokescandies” were taking a “pause,” it isn’t even true, because it was put out in January and I still see these awful things all over the place. Well gosh they weren’t even paused within the context of that picture of text.

I am an enthusiast of discounted holiday candy; generally that is the only time m&ms cost little enough relative to other bad American candy that I will consider buying them, and I came into possession of this one this very month, and there’s smugsa verde right on the bag. It must be noted though that the creature appears to lack feet entirely on this occasion.

And as tacky as the feminizing is, the red one is still the worst character because it is still the default character and it still has no character. It might have been on the bag of “m&ms eggs” I also bought and that tasted almost exactly the same as the hershey brand “eggs” and neither was as good as the cadbury eggs that weren’t available because people actually bought those before they went on sale.

I am so hyper aware of this because *I* like to draw garbage like this too. Little enough that it didn’t need to be mentioned back when I first started griping about how lazy it is from a design perspective but it became a bigger problem. Generally problems do not get smaller around here; even the smaller monitor with a dope on it in this entry’s second picture is in fact my PRIMARY monitor.

this picture actually immediately preceded this one of the world’s worst use of a bowtie three years ago. I never show these sorts of “characters” here or in my major personal projects because i KNOW the designs are stereotyped tacky trash. And consequently people assume all my neutrally-defined characters are he him male and that I must want to look at phalluses and characters which have phalluses and those are the only things they want me to draw. Because most people are idiots. And you already knew that. And so did I. Why are we here? All this could be avoided if I simply learned to stop needing to eat and thus no longer needed to visit grocery stores. I tried but I only got about 3 videos into the tutorial series.

a suspicious drawing of sherry the talking mouse from several Ultima games abusing gargoyles with their own boomerang

I always liked the Gameboy game Ultima: Runes of Virtue. Attempts to directly port regular Ultima games to consoles felt unfinished and misguided, beyond even the degree to which the original non-sequel Ultima did, but Runes of Virtue was a specially crafted Gameboy action puzzle adventure perfect for the short play sessions that Gameboy was specially suited to.

DESPITE the very stupid dance that Sherry does at all times.

In frap it was only this past month that I saw enough of Ultima 6 to realize Runes of Virtue directly follows it, as back when I played Ultima: The False Prophet, its super nintendo port, I found it less unfair than Ultima Exodus, also a Nintendo system port and the only other game in the series I had tried, but still too unclear in its goals to get very far in. Nintendo versions hiding the title numbers didn’t help. BUT recognizing a bunch of the character names and concepts from Runes of Virtue helped me appreciate what I could of it slightly more than I would have otherwise. Certainly more than if I had known of and played the bewildering nes port of Ultima 5 instead.

Though it turns out to be the most accurate and playable Nintendo system Ultima port, that still was not enough for me to crack, apparently. Perhaps its most egregious offense of is presenting Sherry as an isolated-use item whose only purpose is retrieving a single essential item and optionally running under locked gates to steal other treasures or move switches, provided you think to try that,

and who inherits the hero’s neon green poison aura when deployed if you happen to have one available
rather than a fully functioning combat party member whose 1 strength allows her to only wield the likes of a boomerang, but with 27 dexterity, out of a maximum of 30, for deadly accuracy.

I actually have a legal copy of this game and apparently generated a character in it years ago, probably around the time that I regretted playing ultima 1, without going any further, and imagined it should be pretty easy to get to the same place the youtube video was at and take my own screenshots, since youtube pictures are ugly and the person whose video I took those from is an irritating bonehead anyhow. As hokey and annoying as Ultima is, I appreciate the progress it made across a few years and the influence even the shoddy ones had on better games, and reserve the right to laugh at them on my own terms, without condemning them. Some dork reading all the dialog aloud, stuttering half the time, and constantly interjecting snarky comments and complaining about how it is different and better in Ultima 7 makes it take longer and also me to hate him more than the video game he is suffering/cheating through.

But I was today unprepared for how irritating it also was to control Ultima VI even on its intended platform and how infrequently attacks connect even with high dexterity (though more so than without), so I could not easily recreate the scene. But I had already made the dumb drawing so felt obligated to try for longer than was sensible. I thought eh it can’t be THAT hard. I just need to kill ONE big gargoyle out here to have an unblurry picture of its body on the ground and then I can edit the text to say that Sherry did it.

sensing my unvirtuous inclination, an invisible doppelganger of the king Lord British with no property except raw scorn suddenly got a turn and crashed the game when I tried to enter a command and then stared at me disapprovingly until I forced dosbox to quit

The news just gets worse. The highest court in the country is taking bribes from a collector of Hitler Memorabilia, the threat of war with china and russia or possibly ourselves rises again, despite unprecedented climate disasters still nobody with power cares about stopping them. And direst of all?

dopes with glasses! That’s it, life has no meaning. We can never recover from this. I might as well

dopes with glasses and hats!
Truly awful. I can tell these things “think” they are scholars among dopes, and they are probably the dumbest dopes of all time! Not like me. I do useful things with MY life.