9-4-2020 545pm busy busy busy tired tired oh too tired to say it again
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what, so this should be MY problem? I am tired of having to make all the decisions around here! Every one of those dumb things looks terrible, I shan’t choose.
a startlingly elaborate commission drawing for someone known as Animancer featuring Luck, the jerboa type person, not quite succeeding at golf and possibly other things.
I had not initially set out to make it elaborate and thus some components seem incongruent. additionally the fire department has better things to do than keep getting pog out of trees.
a twitter-inspired image, not a judgement so much as an observation. from sunday, before “black out tuesday” during which numerous people posted pictures of black squares to show their belief that black lives matter and/or to stage a Kazimir Malevich-inspired art exhibit.
Combating white supremacists with white suprematists is certainly an approach I would not have considered.
my intent is not to judge anyone for not wanting to be an activist; not every person posting is in the united states and we’ve seen riots before, but the dichotomy is bizarre. I don’t think posting hashtags, saying you “stand with” someone or “going silent” accomplishes anything important, but if it helps some people feel like they are part of something positive, and maybe some even get a legitimate positive feeling out of it, that is good, right? I know that I wouldn’t, I would feel like a silly person being led by a force I don’t understand or necessarily have the means to identify or trust so I don’t. I tried doing that for a few years trying to please internet activist sorts that I knew and I wasn’t good at it, I didn’t like trying to do something I wasn’t good at for no real reason, and I don’t know any of those people now.
as implied, I have encountered NUMEROUS videos of police clobbering people in the street with seemingly no provocation. and mixed in with them are occasional videos of non-police doing awful things. I think there is nothing noble about ganging up on people even if they came looking for a fight. The goal of these protests, ultimately, is to reduce police violence, and ANYTHING counter to that empowers sorts who advocate more brutal policing, and they’re forever seeking to be. I see far more of the “bad police” videos but as long as there are a few “bad non-police” videos the people who fixate on THAT angle won’t acknowledge any other type. I remember a few years ago when it was trendy to say and sell shoddy merchandise branded with “punch a nazi!” But they aren’t exactly wearing swastika armbands and executing minorities in public, and if you do punch somebody who displays mildly nazi-like tendencies, and it is RECORDED, bet on any context being edited out so you look like you are against free speech. Of course if such a person punches you first the video will be labeled as justified by the same people who would criticize you for punching first but it won’t be at risk of changing anyone’s mind.
I think it is valid to point out that USAmerica’s thuggish law enforcement did not start with Trump, but he is held up by many supporters as a Obama/Clinton antithesis despite seeming to double down on and enjoy their worst traits. His “virtue” is his emotional honesty and no other kind. He tells you he is going to send soldiers to clear protesters, and by bolly he does it, and doesn’t pretend that he wishes he didn’t. It is as refreshing as getting sprayed in the face with lachrymator agents can be.
if you are seriously considering robbing a dollar store please just look for a vending machine to beat up instead.
dollar tree supposedly took $22 billion in revenue in 2017 and has over fifteen thousand stores, so they can handle being burgled, but it isn’t time well-spent and the individual employees aren’t getting paid enough to deal with that.
THAT sentiment, in the blue text, though not the exact wording, was from Thursday may 28, before somebody who I knew five years who had not engaged with me previously on that topic or really any other recently responded “people are getting murdered” and was done with me without any further discussion. Nothing like “hey person I’ve known for half a decade, traded art and had prolonged conversations with, I think this joke is tasteless. Are you unaware of how serious this situation is? Are you getting news from an automated aggregator of websites that are slow to update and may have agendas rather than righteous retweet chains? Perhaps I can provide you with insight that you lack.” I may still be dwelling on it. That doesn’t mean I think I am oppressed now, but I also don’t believe that attitude, turning on anyone who isn’t as dedicated to saying all the “right” things as you are helps anybody, and it’s impossible to know which tragic world events that affect other world events are bad enough to temporarily get fun outlawed and which, like the by now regular mass shootings and unprecedented natural disasters, aren’t. the fact is that nobody can know and care about everything, and nobody does, and anyone who acts like they do is full of beans and only does it when instructed to do so by “influencers” as they are now called who I couldn’t possibly keep track of unless I spent every day doing that and I won’t. I think communication should precede condemnation if the possibility exists.
Perhaps this is new because the murder was filmed and unmistakable. Alright but if anyone is awful now they (or I) didn’t just abruptly become that way because the dominant public sentiment suddenly shifted.
and then yesterday June 2 a 77 year old retired police captain David Dorn trying to help out his friend who owned a pawn shop by checking on the place was murdered by a looter stealing a television set. and I wondered: would a thief who was willing to shoot someone dead robbing a best buy be less likely to face opposition if they had robbed a dollar tree? Which is a ludicrous thing for me to wonder since I am not responsible for the action of someone who was willing to kill anyway unless I have advance access to that person plus awareness of that intent. And I didn’t! A joke in bad taste does not make a person bad. I also think back to a “few” years ago when I was angry at somebody for supporting an artist who, to seem cool, presumably, espoused nazi-flavored antagonism. This is not the same thing. I am not setting out to rile people up and then pretending I wasn’t usually.
here is a theological question that not enough people are asking.
this may raise even more
oh shoopf forgot to post something again, busy busy busy.
I can’t believe anyone still talks to that weirdo.
you can theoretically imagine this is culturally relevant to do with protests/riots except in the respect that I am thoroughly unable to talk about it without screwing up. it helps that anybody can find a version of “facts” that matches their personal agenda and then they feel entitled to become indignant at someone else who doesn’t believe in or simply hasn’t internalized the full rundown of those facts and since neither of them is actually THERE or close to it they can be as abusive as they want and not risk having a personal experience that gives them a valid perspective on it. Every other doofus on the premises is recording SOMETHING so one way or another a more cohesive picture will eventually emerge and be undeniable. I hope.
There is someone in my family who has been saying for ten years that a “race war” is imminent. He so believes in that as to sometimes come across like he WANTS that, and he seems to selectively repeat other people’s material which in his mind aims at that conclusion. And you can’t attempt to say otherwise lest he start yelling at you about secret pedophile networks, which you also can’t refute because he’ll say fake news bill gates george soros operation fast and furious and it is as possible to talk to someone like that as it is pleasant. But I think giving up on this sort of person only further encourages extremist viewpoints, and eventually they get to the point where they actively engage in race war-fare.
there is another bit of talking to sketch out before I can get it out of this room. and then I will have to clean up and color in this whole mess, oh! I am HOPING it will be more clear and the actions less indistinct at full speed once that occurs –at the moment some are only clear when I replay and watch the right spot or advance it one frame at a time– but like with most matters I truly have no idea if the finish I am betting everything on will occur. even if a lot of it does not work I can at least see clearly that words are getting said by a creature that thinks it is more important than it is and a meeplier creature suffers misfortune, which is what is truly important.
in the last bit there may be a sound anomaly, with a split second of static around “somebody must go.” i corrected it for the music-less version i was using to “match” the mouths to the words but I didn’t replace the main version yet and it is not prudent for me to have sound coming out of machine at this time of day.
The crony needs to talk again in the next part and I don’t know whether to reuse the front view or add in another right-facing angle, since I only had that once but have had left three to four times.
a quick test of the new tablet pressure sensitivity in ASEPRITE, a feature i had looked forward to for quite a while! i drew a nemitz first because anything i made after that could only be an improvement.
“quick” as in i probably meant to draw one frame in ten minutes that transformed into two hours
Unfortunately the way pressure sensitivity is implemented in the program is, so far, more of a detriment to me than help except on larger objects, like the tail here, so I have had it turned off for most of the process on what I did next! The way that works in clip studio I like much better. but if i ever get back to my so ill it transcends pandemic-fated doom-engine-based-construction i may be able to create animated sprite graphics faster for that; I draw them large and have them scaled down in the game so to minimize pixelation
aseprite is the same program I used to make [most of] the other pixel animations that would be found under the “animation” tab had I updated at all recently and not only haven’t I, the stuff that used to be on it no longer shows up because I linked to them from my deviantart account because they were already THERE and I could. That evidently is no longer the case. Ewps. I will hopefully tend to that before 2021.
an attempt to convert some creatures of that sketchbook page into a remotely coherent composition. It did not work! But I felt artistically fulfilled for a few hours.
the website that links to is evidently not being used to its greatest potential by me but it seems to function in the capacity of displaying my only just slightly edited for the purpose of clarity scanned sketch book pages without me feeling self-conscious about the minimal level of value they seem to be perceived as having, which I have been unable to accomplish on other trendo sites.
the green thing did not initially make any statement about its appearance nor even wear glasses but I could tell it thought it looked like spike lee. Initially the words just floated beside the creature as if it was dialog but I do not think that is aesthetically functional in this sort of image, but fortunately it seemed plausible that this creature would have a sign made with this pronouncement written on it that the creature would pose in this presence of.
In the upper left is an incredibly corny looking, tiny dopey teapot that was a recurring element in the painting classes I had when pursuing a largely superfluous bachelor degree. I could tell the teapot was profoundly proud of itself and that it thought it was the honorable Horace T. Teapot. it probably also has a sign announcing that just out of the frame. It might as well be wearing a bowtie. You could probably make ONE cup of tea in that dumb teapot. I have NO idea what it is so proud of. I thought for certain I had explained all this years ago but apparently I did not which is why the world is in such a dire situation.
this about sums it up
oh fleeps I never made a website entry out of this
Obviously we are collecting boots today. I don’t see how you could have POSSIBLY messed that up. Hey, fool! We are not catching fish here. And yet you caught one. You couldn’t even catch cholera by ingesting the Vibrio cholerae bacterium, and still you caught a fish. Good job. “Good” as in “opposite of good.”
Atrocious. Typical nemitz move.
tennish years later
nemitz (orange imp) seems to be improving mitz skill at fishing. improved for nemitz, i mean. Presumably elpse (green imp) has something better to do. I hardly think there could be anything worse to do.
meanwhile I have I have not gotten much better at drawing!
I fear this mask business may be getting a bit out of hand
the original “plan” for this included additional mask-types but at that stage it looked to me more like a bad local mural or the cover to an issue of Cracked magazine than something that was supposed to be taken less-than-seriously. i laughed while making it but sometimes that is an instinct-like reaction to things that i am really worried about not being funny, like some previous images related to halloween, bad geico advertisements (all of them are bad) and my experience at the louvre museum.
The worst thing about the version I decided on is that after I added the dope on the shelf on the left I didn’t want to crop it out even though the composition works much better with that mostly empty space removed and EVERY composition works much better with dopes removed. Theoretically the older version is superior on account of lacking dopes, apart from the cart advertisement seeking to raise awareness of them, but ultimately it is ugly and trying too hard. The final version tries a more appropriate amount.
An animated icon for nafradorf fumblewip.
I made this also some time ago. Presumably it sums itself up.
i thought animating like this would be easier than the other way, a thought which meant it wouldn’t be, but if I didn’t have optimism that a thought which has been wrong every time in the past would be right this time i would probably never try anything new!
Which I mean not to indicate that the thoughts I express at length are wrong; I think these thoughts are generally very right, but there may be no place for them that I have access to. Most people only care about thoughts that are expressed in venues where thoughts can only be expressed in stupid ways. Which makes me angrier, which makes the non-stupid thoughts more complicated and less feasible to complete, even though when they are completish they are guaranteed obscurity so it really isn’t necessary to increase the difficulty factor.
The drafts heap up. One of the drafts there is actually about animations i made or was expected to make for other people who lied and treated me horribly and it is my intention to not drift into that topic while discussing the one up there (a similar thing occurred when I posted the previous icon I made for nafradorf (also the rubber creep sent me ANOTHER message some time after I posted that and I am not afraid of him but he really is horrid). This one took just as long as the ones I am not talking about today but I don’t have ill feelings associated with it. I know this one is the end and I won’t have that specific problem again, because if somebody asks to try it I will see it coming, and I only did it this time because i offered it! And so I won’t get tricked and I won’t have to never finish writing about it!
an unremarkable sketchbook creature that nonetheless got coloured in, and yet still seems dissatisfied. Some people cannot be pleased!
also i was writing a website entry about a highway billboard that I saw and hated, and my hatred is bafflingly complicated these days so this is here instead of that.
this is something that should make no sense to normal people, but I don’t know any of those anymore. if you have no idea what this is about I have deduced that you are better off continuing to not know than this website is with my attempt at explaining it present.
of course the picture is an exaggeration; only two people have actually become dead before they delivered on what I paid them for, and it probably seems callous to put their entire lives beneath some stupid garbage that I paid $30 or less for but it was funny before I thought about it at length and that was the only time anything about my relationships with those people was pleasant so I will take it.
I hated this event but I did enjoy seeing people having serious conversations while nemitz was hugging a toilet behind them, which is probably the only thing I liked about this event the past four years.
This event being the annual City Wide Open Studios “member show” at Artspace in new haven, a location within 20-30 minutes of moderate car driving from where I am usually. Being a member just means you paid $90. I point this out becomes occasionally somebody wants to congratulate my involvement but honestly truly all it requires is 90 dollars and being able to get there to sign some forms. A few hundred people have 18×18 inch items set up on grids where almost nothing stands out and then every person is crammed into the floor space so that no valid human interaction can occur. I primarily paid for access to the actual personal large scale art exhibition I will be setting up at another location, yet still forced myself to give this one more attention than it deserved, except for in 2017 when I just reused 2015’s painting, an act which nobody else seemed to notice or care about.
I speak about this so negatively, you may wonder why I am involved at all, and that is because the $90 also gets me a room for two days at the Alternative Space Weekend exhibition which is in a different place, along with a generous assortment of those few hundred others and so far I have found that worthwhile. The painting of course doesn’t get to go there since it is for the member show, which is in a different place, and it is a weird size, too small to impress or control detail the way I like to, so every year I think “next year I won’t bother” but 10 months later when I feel like less of a wreck I think “eh it wasn’t THAT bad, was it?” and do it again. Maybe by “publicly” stating that I won’t, I will prevent myself from doing so. Although knowing me, I already did that and merely forgot. Although if I knew me better, I would not forget things like that. I should spent more time getting to know me.
in 2015 i tried to impress with my painting skill.
in 2016 i tried to impress with a picture that I know people always liked the digital version of.
in 2018 i tried to make them laugh.
after failing to feel like I had been successful in the previous endeavors, this time I set out to annoy them,.
This is not finished to a degree that I like but considering that I did it between a friday the following monday night (the deadline) the time seemed relatively well spent; the fastest I had pushed one of these out and been done with it prior to then had been two weeks! If the crummy compressed gif works properly, it will be evident that nemitz (horrible red imp) was simple to paint, as I expected, but despite having the original quickly-done digital version as a guide I still misplaced the elements and had excess space on the right to fill, and made that harder than it needed to be!
Since almost all of my art is digital and NONE of it is optimized for a square… even though it used to be sometimes but I discovered none of the printing options I had access to favored squares, and likewise nobody sells hangable objects I could put a print into which would fill 18×18 inches well anyway, AND that I am useless at measuring, cutting, mounting and what-have-you, I have to seek out special 18×18 inch canvases and paint on them in my tiny little space which is not suited to painting. The nice acrylic paint I bought on past occasions which inexplicably is served in little toothpaste tubes almost all dried out.
However, the cheap 89 cent walmart paint rigid tubes i bought in 2008 for a terrible mural still worked just fine. What I found easily was lacking for a few colors, true red and something close to brown, primarily,
so I supplemented them with my 4.9-year old niece’s presumably equally cheap paint.
As noted, a few hundred people participate in the city wide open studios mess each year. Considering that I have to explain to each and every person I know each and every year that the painting I am working on is NOT for my actual art show I definitely wonder how other participants go about the matter. If not for the fact that it temporarily increases my scrap of legitimacy in the eyes of family members who do not consider digital art actual art (unless it is done on an apple brand i-pad by someone they know better) and by extension my scrap of self-worth, I really have no reason to bother! Also, the parking in New Haven is awful.
This time the dropoff deadline was 5-8 instead of 2-4 or whatever it was in the past. I figured after the designated “rush hour” of people leaving new haven, it would actually be easier to get into, but I did not consider that an even greater number of people from outside quite willingly go into it and take all the parking spaces within walking distance to this dump. I could probably handle even that but my inexperience parallell parking led a bystander that I initially considered helpful to offer to guide me through it. I forgot that helpful-seeming strangers are usually pushy nutworks who aren’t open to the idea that they aren’t helpful.
Go in backward instead of forward, yes, helpful. Wait for this car to pass before backing out every single time a car wants to pass: obvious and not helpful. calling me “dude” when you aren’t hulk hogan and “chief” in a manner apart from its historical function of acknowledging somebody of superior rank: not endearing. telling me “maybe you shouldn’t be driving that car then” when I am unable to keep up with his rapid “turn the wheel [this way]” commands because it got stuck for the first time ever because I guess it doesn’t like to be turned that much that often: I hate you. Reaching your hand through the window into my* car to point at [what I can’t remember or guess]: I’m leaving so I don’t start screaming at you. There was a less convenient street I could check for spaces which by that point seemed really convenient so i drove most of the way around the utterly 1-way block and went there instead.
The secret to driving well is to not be stupid or angry.
In may I offered “100 free sketches” at the twittor website in a completely misguided and cynical attempt to expand my audience, not considering that I might end up with an audience full of expansion fetishists, or that I do my best work with no audience.
it “worked,” but only when I put in considerably more effort than i expected to, and of course only when drawing other people’s characters and noncepts. Not helping were folks who gave such information that there would be no potentially satisfactory way to draw what they wanted that could be at all simple, but only a few of them seemed so entitled that they were absolutely depending on me to do so, and so as usual the fault was mine for assuming it would be easy and doing it anyway, even though never once has something been easy when it seemed like it would be. To help disperse the blame, I inserted less reputable creatures into some of the images that I might complain about instead, and those will be appearing here.
free sketch #11, for https://twitter.com/lazy__lucy! a moth person whose eyes in fact always have heart shapes in them, even when not approaching a desirable destination.
I meant to draw a fork and knife both wearing little bowties beside the plate but thankfully did not do so. I believe I outlined their shapes and then didn’t notice I was drawing over them when adding the table cloth and then forgot they had been present. I also did not notice that the bowtie meep on this occasion lacks arms and perhaps both of these things are evidence of order in the universe.
free sketch #14, https://twitter.com/WhiteDahlia_ , time traveling assassin spy, tracks down the leader of a mysterious but most assuredly nefarious organization. I presume it is not actually missing an eye but since it has both eyes closed when it is feeling particularly proud of itself and it never isn’t, eyesight gradually becomes irrelevant.
free sketch #27 for https://twitter.com/IanKeith ! Phaeux helps nemitz have a good time on the swing set
free sketch #?, https://twitter.com/HeathenHeanow/ (who actually draws better than i do)’s character, also named heathen, bestows upon nemitz the order of the banana and birthday cake-flavored ice cream with sprinkles. nemitz reacts with mits usual ingratitudinal demeanor.
free sketch #28! https://twitter.com/TheAusSpideyGuy s character Leonardo knows that the best thing about having six arms is being able to pull rabbits out of three hats at once, although sometimes it is difficult to find three rabbits to participate in your routine on short notice.
pog was never meant to have anything in common with a rabbit visually and I never considered that there might be a resemblance until people started calling pog a “rabbit,” including the tip-soliciting lady who gives out animal shape balloons at a local restaurant who thought it really necessary to ask my 4.9-year old niece if she could find “the bunny,” referring to pog, on the sketchbook page I wasn’t finished with or actually exhibiting after mis-indentifying the actual rabbit i drew as a moose, though admittedly I had put a stupid helmet on it. Which happened last week even though this picture is from a month ago but it seemed relevant. Therefore pog seemed a natural reluctant choice for this role.
The person also thought my drawing of the sprite from secret of mana was a horse. Which is probably why I did so few ACTUAL sketches for this.
free sketch #36 https://twitter.com/DraygoDraygon ‘s character also named Draygo sees to it that nemitz gets squashed. nemitz feigns ignorance as to why this may have been necessary.
ree sketch #38: twitter.com/SpecstheFox and nemitz go sailing together. you might think it impressive that dumb old nemitz was able to rig the sail but nemitz probably bribed somebody else to do it in payments of stolen beans. (the captain hat is also stolen)
free “sketch” #45! https://twitter.com/CuntyMcPunty ‘s character Silver aids the cause of justice. rather than a specific content suggestion i was instructed to “go wild,” which in my case means “go stupid.” It might have been more appropriate for me to say: I don’t know you, you don’t even watch my page, and I don’t particularly want your name to appear on mine, and so I don’t see any reason to go anything on your behalf, but i did anyway because I am sick and I need help.
free sketch #¿ for https://www.deviantart.com/artificial-demon ! Acid Goblin hacks nemitz’s computer.
That is of course only the monitor but nemitz is ignorant and probably thinks that part is the computer.
nemitz should not even HAVE a computer. mit probably just looks up pictures of beans on pinterest.
aksi: here is the actual original sketch that I used to advertise what I was doing. I think only three that I delivered were actually of this level of quality. I figured I could chank out ten of these a day, forgetting that nemitz in a basic moron pose is really easy to draw and that I hold myself to a much higher standard when drawing things that I want other people acknowledge the existence of. Nemitz deserved to be promptly forgotten once mit is crushed by that tree.
and a “raffle” is when somebody demands that you share their post and watch their page for a chance that you MIGHT get something for free. I think it is despicable. And so not only did I commit myself to much more work, I necessarily capped the free advertising I could get from it on account of my committing to granting something to every participant but only a set number of them. Does that all make sense? It shouldn’t! Also the nature of this sort of thing meant that most of the people who did participate were sickos who just like the idea of getting stuff, not much caring what it is or who it is from. And I could tell because when I checked their pages to make sure they had retwutted my post before making a request of me there were often already 6 fresh raffle retweets above mine. And of course a few of them didn’t do it at all.
Or they will have extremely niche, stupid tastes that I can’t even talk about with explaining and making myself seem insane just for having been directly in contact with, and only share the offer with other people who are even deeper in the same dumb niche, and then blambi, I have to draw a whole bunch of 8 limbed inflatable monstrosities being force-fed after being flattened by steam rollers. You know, stuff normal people like.
By this point I have finished about 56 of them, which is roughly half because I kept letting people sign up after I closed the thing. Even though decent people would probably honor my set total and not ask to be let in after I had closed it. I wouldn’t let nemitz get away with that! Or I would certainly sternly and directly rebuke nemitz instead of talking indirect trash about mit on another website. It wouldn’t be professional to talk to fictional characters on my website in an insincere manner.
three more unrelated idiots that happened to have been sketched near each other.
I should look into putting up a picture with something happening in it one of these days!
Or at least deviate into a less-rigid setup than this one if I feel a need to keep crinkling out dumb illustrations to prove that i continue existing. And then make sure i don’t bland out the subtle distinctive elements of the original cheap sketch in my haste to not spend hours and hours on something that I know does not matter. And if I do that anyway, try to avoid looking back at the sketch and becoming aware of that after already smearing the “finished” one in front of all the same people multiple times across the different websites.
I trusted in a formula that usually results in passable mediocrity, like the Famous Studios Popeye cartoons, but every once in a while even a stable formula fails, and with nothing else behind it there is going to be something totally unredeemable, like when Popeye came home from World War 2 and the writers/management decided he should stop hitting people all the time and be more like Donald Duck and be a stooge to a cute animal or his dipfip nephews instead of an invincible meathead who won’t compromise even when it means leveling an entire town, even though his popularity stems directly from his ability to appear noble while being a destructive stubborn clod.
I won’t even talk about the terrible, totally official popeye cartoons made in 2018, because I am going to bed. The simple fact is that Popeye cartoons have been lame for most of their existence so freaking out over extensions of that trend will solve nothing. I think fictional characters should become public domain property after 70 years regardless of what boneheads swap the rights around. I think I said that ages ago in a post that I never finished because my brain is soup. They belong in their own time periods. Take them out too far and they become something else that might as well be called something else, exclusively benefiting and appealing to horrid people.
I do not want to appeal to horrid people. Not for free, anyway! Rushing for free is as beneficial as rushing for spinach.