Artwork it works again!
Comic strips it ALSO works again!
Animationnow i need to fix this
Web-log
Exhibitionshave been lacking
About page
icon4 icon19 icon7 icon10 icon16 icon19 icon25








Questionable artwork and pedantic miscellany
February 17, 2019
Gilbert’s name is a pseudonym, one he used to pen a furry erotic novel, The Furred Reich, about a young Nazi officer’s encounter with an anthropomorphic female snow leopard. He keeps his fursona a secret to allow him to attend furry conventions without getting banned, punched in the face or both.

nemitz is no stranger to hugging, despite being strange


this from 2004, a far off period before the mediocre expectations of internet communities beat my creativity out of me but also before i could draw. nonetheless i did it with colored pencils, which when digitally scanned gave the drawing the unearthly quality of the blank paper actually being darker than the marks on it, so i just today artificially augmented the ghastily large eye-balls to look less grey. I miraculously resisted the urge to alter innumerable other components of the image.
ah yes and the image title is Unlawful Restraint. Don’t forget. nemitz is a fugitive from justice.


Also there is this, Imminent Self-Defense, from 2010, of colored pencil PLUS expensive prisma color markers, since internet people led me to think those would be crucial for functioning, right around the time they all switched to yet more expensive copic markers. It shows the creature Eliah, known to a person called, at the time, Science Fox, and I know not what these days, being physically assaulted by the scoundrel nemitz.


Hugly Situation, from merely 2011, in which Astro Q Duck (the Q stands for “Questionable”) and a terrible creature known only as nemitz reunite after, I assume, being exiled from every place in existence.


Fuzzcilities: not very long ago there was a Valentine day and I regretfully thought it prudent to check on who nemitz was hugging more recently.
nemitz x toilet, hollywood’s power couple for 2019


You HAVE to hug people who don’t want to be hugged. What a tragic, unfortunate, sad-emoticonable plight! I hate to admit that in seeking out inanimate emoticon depositories maybe nemitz has the right idea, so I won’t.



April 23, 2011
Flush with Pride

So, I found a curious image of a piece of waste being flushed down the toilet lying around in the coffee shop the other day. I have no idea where it came from, but I thought perhaps you might want a copy of it for some reason. It seems like the sort of thing you’d enjoy.

Karaboudjan Morrismorrow “Buckety” Gibdos III

This is a colored and disgustingly over-processed version of a drawing that I did for another person during the 2010 anthro-con-vention of Pitt’s Burgh, United America. However, I was not actually within the convention premises and the recipient just happened to live in Pittsburgh and was not attending the event at any point. Then this might have been weird!

Lest I seem hypocritical for denigrating a toilet enthusiast and then posting this, I point out that he draws/arranges for others to draw things on toilets and I have drawn something in a toilet. Far less gross.

That signature in the corner is probably unnecessary.



December 27, 2010
flip on the telly, wrestle with JIMMY!

Like every money taking object in the school vicinity, coke products are sold here. they actually cost more than the coke from the vending machine

Tuesday, December 7, 2010: I was operating a chair at the table outside the crampus book store, awaiting a visitor who owned an automobile who would retrieve me from the location. Before that happened, an oafy fellow almost walked by, glanced at me, stopped and oh-so-secretly slid this bookmark thing over to me,
while speaking “we buy textbooks.” No “hello,” no “excuse me are you interested in hearing what we do?” Just “we buy text books.” I responded “that’s good to know.


I think they sell them in there” while gesturing toward the store. The fellow re-respont “okay, but we buy text books.” Hey guy, I buy textbooks too. You haven’t made any great accomplishment. That guy doesn’t even know what he’s saying. He has no backup plan for if his routine is interrupted and is incapable of improvising pertinent words. He can only say what he’s been programmed to say. He is scarcely a human being. Assuming he’s looking to RE-buy MY books, It is worth noting that my ownership of any was not evident at the time; I had none in front of me and indeed did not even bring any with me that day. And so I have noted it.

Anywhy, the book store. I try not to spend too much time in there because the sound system is usually playing Aerosmith songs. They play Aerosmith songs because they don’t want me to spend time in the store. But I’ll show them! I don’t go in there anyway because I don’t read books! Sometimes I’m too smart for ’em. Yeah, just today Em told me not to fly the house during the tornado but I’m going to do it anyway.

All I want to do is eat all day. But they also sell snacks. Ahhhhhh naw!

But they don’t sell GOOD snacks! Haaaaa meeeaw! But I had to taste them to realize they were bad! Nuuuuuuuu pogodi!

Corn nuts are really bland and it’s impossible to eat them quietly. And then an hour or so later I’d just about finished them and I never wanted to eat one again. But don’t let me dissuade you, please. If you’re really curious about corn nuts I highly recommend that you dump salt on some gravel and put it in your mouth.


I also purchased this because I only make personal sacrifices when they benefit nobody, and I had neglected to bring my customary bottle of water to the universe city that day, besides. Having sampled products by this company in the past I figured it would be LIKE water enough to serve as a substitute. It was, but entirely the wrong kind. LIFE WATER. Urk, awful, urkful. It was like somebody had pumped a syringe full of Robitussin into one of those free lollypops they give away at the bank and jammed it up my nose without stopping to regard the partition between my nostrils. How was this possible? 0 sugar, 0 sodium… ARTIFICIAL SWEETENETERS! Aw blast, why are companies not required to list THAT piece of trash on their nutrition percentages in a place where I’d bother to look? This tea is VILE.

I’d oblige you to leave me out of this, thank you. Oh like you’re so polite.

Instead of getting you to drink more by dehydrating you or getting you addicted to caffeine, this one keeps you coming back just because the fresh liquid is the only thing chasing the awful temporarily out of your flavor center.
I was thinking, which I do sometimes, “I COULD buy something sugary, but I had iced tea yesterday… oh gee look this has no sugar in it! That’ll make everything hunky dory*.” I don’t know if it’s Stevia or Splenda, but the first one sounds like it’s made of pieces of Steven Seagal and Stephen Baldwin and the other just sounds like it’s too proud of itself so obviously neither is acceptable. Whose idea was this?


Arrrrd that wasn’t clever!



That’s where it was going eventually anyway. Do you know what this MEANS? I do NOT throw food away. More importantly I don’t throw chemically concocted calorie vessels away, either.

This is the sort of stuff I collect at a buffet.

What a dreaded mixture of components to leave me unable to finish!


I eats to the finish and nothing less than an enormous floating torso of a blue haired lady will keep me from it under normal circumstances.


*the actual hunky-doriness of the language I used may be called into question



December 3, 2010
The love song “Everytime We Touch” introduces the couples of Dynasty Warriors and the true romance of the Three Kingdoms.

I don’t believe it! Six whole entries without a picture from inside a restroom.

Aw naw!

Did somebody REALLY try to throw away a credit card in an airplane toilet? And how about the bottle? That’s ridiculous!

Oday… that’s a considerable improvement, actually. There’s still work to do but you’ll get it with time, I think.

NO, not that kind of time. I don’t like that they’re equating waste-passing with parties.

And again, I think you’re using it the wrong way anyhow. Although I’m told the best parties actually end with one’s face in the latrine, making for a true, united potty time, I don’t get invited to parties so I am disqualifying it.

I don’t want to THINK about what the yellow emoticon is doing on the toilet, much less why it’s getting such euphoria from it. The least sinister thing I can think of is that it found somebody else’s credit card, but honestly then the thing’s just a scumbag.


I have plenty of those already! At least this coconutwit is choosing better company these days.



September 9, 2010
Grateful to the Chipettes, the penguins snowball the henchmen into submission as the girls escape.

Let us try for Thursday. I am not even bothering with Wednesday this time! (so Friday, then)

==============================================

Somehow it’s not at all comforting actually having a reason to be slow with updates here now.

=============================================

This school talks about conserving, but has all these

automatic, unprovoked sprinklers for the sidewalks,

including two just for the sign, and this is the only place where I’ve had a self-flushing toilet go off while I was physically adhered to it (not pictured).

Perhaps I worry too much, and should not concern myself with this. After elf, as a wise philosopher once wrote

Sometimes people
Just Don’t get it
Be patient And Don’t
Sweat it

Oh gee excuse me, that was something I saw scratched in a toilet stall of the second most remote restroom of this university, in the ground floor basement of the library which people only go to for the internet computers which aren’t on that floor. Even if it lacks a prestigious showcase, it does prove one important thing: I am not nearly as safe in there as I thought. The scribe might come back And I Don’t want to be in there then. How will I protect myself?

On a related but not entirely relevant note, there are some things that are counterproductive to cover with shielding plastic.

well see now that’s just immodest. You ought to be ashamed. I can’t toi-let you get a way with that.



August 13, 2010
By 1960 hunkerin’ was less common.

A moment of simons, please, for a beloved member of the bimshwel family

No, unfortunately.


Camera 3, akadaka the “good” digital camera, and its life partner, 2 gigabyte memory card of uncertain origin because it worked so well that I never needed to take it out and look it over and be reminded of those things, taken down six days into a fresh pair of batteries. Tragic, really.

As per the terms of its will or something, its remains were dropped to the deepest, least accessible point of the base of Sabbadoy Falls.

Appropriately enough, that’s precisely where it fell out of my pocket while I was pursuing my brother I-Clops up a foolish ascent because I hadn’t taken any pictures of him with it the whole week. I still haven’t, surprisingly.

Let’s relive some of the memories, shall we? (yes)

Fort Lauderdoodle, Florida. November 26, 2006

Litchfield, Connecticut. December 25, 2007

New York City, America. November 16, 2008

Mir Space Station, Space. February 19, 2010

Green Hill Zone, Michigan August 11, 2010

FinePix A500, whose name I only discovered by opening one of its pictures in Microsoft Notepad,
2006-2010

Farewell, fine fujifilm fellow. You will be replaced.

CAM-RA, the Everliving, continues to ever-live, taking moderately tiny, slightly blurry pictures it can only carry 36 of, by will of the wizard. It owes its astounding longevity to a diet high in buck choc and being too big to take some places and too inadequate for it to be worth bothering to take to such places. Not that it hasn’t tried; it runs away at least once a year. It never gets very far because I dropped it on a floor and broke its battery chamber six years ago. This additionally allows it to stay lost for extraordinary periods of time without anybody picking it up. It seemed like a mistake at the time.



June 29, 2010
Cornell uses the man wolf’s acute sense of smell… to track the scent… of his sister’s blood.

The internet hates the humidity. Once the temperature here goes over 80 degrees my connection passes out from exhaustion, which is a surprising impediment to my ability to upload junk here.

====================================================================



I don’t need Mac Tonight watching me use the toilet. Nor most people, now that I think of it.

In search of a good fake-mistaken reference for pink hands (I went with “demons”), I thought for certain, –because superheroes are inherently funny and everybody but me knows stuff about them who would thus be in position to appreciate such a mentioning– there was a DC or Marvel character who had pink gloves that I might use. Not because I remember there being one; it just seemed like there was a good chance. I didn’t find one. Not one I could pick out of a crowd, anyhow. I did come across this picture (from this page this page.) There are a LOT of weird looking goofs I don’t recognize in there, and there’s no sense in asking about them all. However…



who’s that oaf next to Wonder Woman that isn’t Superman? MAILMAN? Or is he a train ticket collector, maybe? He does an important job but he’s not a hero of intergalactic acclaim! In fact, he’s a monster for plundering and combining the DNA of Herve Villechaiz and Gary Coleman in an attempt to create an ultimate being. It’s still too soon, Mail Man! Not to mention likely to make your Jim Morrison/any actor from the 1970s clone jealous. Additionally, I used to think Jim Morrison, Van Morrison and Morrissey were the same person. They are all exhibit equally morris-like tendencies in my eyes. I would not be surprised to see them shilling for cat food.


I am also of the opinion that Plastic Man is getting a little chummy with Darkseid and Orko back there.

Oh, OH. ExcYUSE me. Are you two friends? Man, that guy’s so touchy just because the doctor who filled out his birth certificate came down with a bit of dyslexia. That’s even weaker reasoning than


Lex Luthor hating Superman forever over inadvertently making him bald –a condition easily remedied by either of these two who regularly create exact robot duplicates of themselves out of stuff they just find lying around, sometimes while in prison,— which I’m told was largely written/fired out of “canon” not terribly wrong after this story was published. Darkseid’s name is STILL misspelled, so many years later. Whenever I see his name I always think it wants to be pronounced “dark seed.” Clearly he can’t be all that evil since he keeps his bit torrent ratio up. At worst he’s a pointy 1970s roller skate.

And… I expect to be at a hotel before I get this posted so don’t be surprised if I end this without any sort of conclusion.

Hey how about that I ended up staying at the hotel before I got this out because my computer is too dumb to recognize certain types of wireless internet and I’m too dumb to know which or why and thus I now have plenty of time to give you a conclusion.

I do not always make good use of my time.

But sometimes I do.



April 9, 2009
Oodle-lolly, oodle-lolly, golly, what a day

“Zak Efron… is he one of the Jonas Brothers?” – an actual thought I had. Is my senility escalating or is that merely a logical conclusion?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

I realize this page update is late, but I had to go to church.



“Church” being the name of my new fancy toilet. Excuse me, did you really think I was done posting pictures taken inside restrooms? This is a task that is bigger than any of us. If we really want to make progress, we should all be doing it. But I’m not about to start making decrees. I never fancied myself a leader.


Now there’s a the work of an authoritative figure. But I think you might be missing some key consonants up there. Possibly punctuation, as well. And how about a “please?” If you please. I’m sure somebody somewhere would be willing to trade you an S for one of your surplus Ls.


Is this necessary? I suggest to you that it is not. That’s right, you read it on bimshwel first: sometimes internet advertising is less than tasteful. I’m sure this has been an eye-opening revelation for you. Also less than tasteful: barf.



If it’s “updating their myspace pages” then I think I can pass. If they were actually my friends and actually wanted me to know something, they would tell me and I would not have to visit my space at all. I realize this material is weak, I have to unload the rest of the myspace stuff now so I don’t fall further behind in hoarding twitter jokes.


I’ve come far enough to know that even if a nonsentient domain hyphen title wanted to be my friend, if it was that one it would be time for me to give up life. But sometimes myspace people change their names for the purpose of some joke and I am well accustomed to not getting other people’s subtle jokes on the internet, so I retained a scant amount of optimism, a full year after every person I’ve ever met switched to Face Book to do the exact same non-things, except they couldn’t embed java applets, fifty youtube videos and translucent animated gif butterflies, which was fine with me.



What kind of a friends invite others to watch cnn over the internet? Meaningless, in-name-only facebook friends. Friends with as much weight behind them as that utterly unnecessary RSVP in there. Why can’t we get a new word for that, or merely spell it “ahresveepy?” That’s all people think of it as. Or we could write out “confirm your attendance,” what we actually mean, what is much more clear than empty, precocious misused abbreviated French. There is no sensible reason to prolong a tradition like this. I won’t even accept that on an invitation to a birth-day party (yes, I got one once). It’s outright offensive regarding some mopey facebook non-party non-gathering to do some thing that I could do just as easily by connecting to any station on my television system without stating my intention to do so. Get out from my business s’il vous plait (and even if vous don’t).


I’m glad Rubert pointed out that the instructions were for sexually. I’m so sick of uninvited, unprovoked notices in my email ezone trying to tell me how to be kind and thought-provoking. You really had me worried for a bit during that dramatic pause! I am similarly sick of e-mail that starts off with “ladies -” or otherwise suggests the possibility of a non-male recipient. Everybody knows only men use the internet, and these are all men in want… naw, in need of anonymous fornicatory counseling from the illiterate. Those noble, nobul illiterate. I want to send them money. Not even in exchange for any goods or services, just to show my support for their cause. Which works out, because as I understand it that is their preferred outcome.



It is one thing to be vulgar, and it is one more thing to take Thumbelina’s name in vain, but my e-mail robots sure are getting abusive. It was nothing less than cruel to exploit my well known interest in arranging a Chernobyl summer getaway to get me to read the message. And then it dared reference 83, the suspected year of the Battle of Mons Graupius, in which 10000 of my irregular Caledonian forebears were slaughtered by more disciplined Roman forces despite greatly outnumbering them. Yeah, it’s still too soon, Lagory Corter! Why can’t you be more like my best buddy ol’ pal Ruby? (I call him Ruby instead of Rubert now because we are chums)



Evidently Chef Boiardi’s head was placed on a label at that position so that poltergeist gauntlets could force it to play a flute much too large for it in an advertisement for the Great American Can Sale at the store “Big Y.” Note that even though the store is called Big Y we don’t actually know. Much less the details regarding the flute debacle. It was a disgrace ones who could help tended not to notice, alas, what with that heathen can of Folger’s Crystals hoisting that flag whose name it has so disparaged, whose traditional moral values it has worked so tirelessly to twist and corrupt:


There’s a reason Folger doesn’t appear on his own cans! The scamp! Don’t you know there are kids who watch that stuff! Do you know what happens when kids drink coffee? They look precocious, that’s what! The best part of waking up is not 5 year olds who can memorize stuff in my cup!
Anyway, back to church. Tonight is the Saint Nunzio and Blessed Associates annual gold chain awareness Ziti Dinner.

Note to event planning committee staff member persons: toilets do not make good dinner tables.



February 28, 2009
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry


Clothes on the floor beside a toilet in a public restroom? Ohhh, that’s not good. But in Grand Central Terminal Station, with places to be, I cannot pass up a free rest-room toilet booth, even when one of the more crazy-looking/smelling people I have encountered comes out right before I go in. Hey, if the toilet’s exterior is dry and its interior is devoid of colored matter, I see no need to pass judgment on any of its recent clients. I should have, but I could not have. I also think the two police officers should have been able to tell, that both fully clothed and bathed I was not the homeless, garment swapping vagrant they were looking for, but they could not. Sometimes things just don’t come together properly. Such as the logic of sternly, noisily ordering me to open the door before I was finished with the toilet and then getting indignant that my lower fastenings were less than secure. But see, if I had been beaten by society to the point that I was stealing clothes to change into in a bathroom, it is unlikely I would be able to legibly protest the unfair illogic of that, so I understand. I also felt bad for the megadork janitor who reported the vagrant to the police; he was afterward chastised for doing so, and while not yet homeless, he was, the same, too much of an awkward fretful ubernerd to adequately protest that while I was not necessarily a homeless vagrant, one most definitely had occupied the same space moments earlier.

Elsewhere in The City:


You first. I had a pen and considered writing that here, but for all I knew the police had already been notified I was attempting to use another restroom, so I thought it better to be out as soon as I could be.


When the only person who will consider your argument is the stall wall in a toilet chamber of a combination Roy Rogers’-Nathan’s in Pennsylvania Plaza beneath the second of two enormous FOX NEWF banners, perhaps if you are not beyond reasoning you at least would appreciate some solitude. Really, I’m just impressed you were able to pluralize “similarity” without adding any apostrophes. I’m even willing to overlook your usage of { and } braces, just because you are aware of their existence.

Verily, this country could use some fixin'(s). I have occasionally wondered if this means the bar was invented by or at least had its invention attributed to somebody named fixin, or if there is more than one fixin and they are represented at the bar, and the ‘ is merely to draw attention to the lack of a G, suggesting that “fixing” is a noun of some sort. Because I need more real problems.


Gosh, I didn’t think I did, but you found such a distressed and clueless looking picture of Mr. President that now I have to really wonder about it! It does not ask WILL YOU REGRET VOTING AT SODA HEAD.COM?… The soda head is run by intelligent folks and they understand that such a question would invariably lead to sensible people not voting at all, with the resulting overabundance of “no” votes reflecting inaccurate data. If you believe that, you probably don’t realize I just made fun of you for writing on the wall in the bathroom.

Making your ads vertical doesn’t make me any less likely to put them on my page. Just so you know.
DOES OBAMA HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO LEAD AMERICA? Hmmm, that’s a good one, that. While certainly I am free to answer yes or no, somehow your inclusion of a darkened American flag, big capital letters and a hard-hatted head perched upon an ASS A BUDGE sign makes me suspect that Obama does not, in fact, have what “it” takes to lead america. Most damning of all is the intense picture of Obama himself pointing at my neck (or in this case ear) in regard to the importance of a soda head poll. I am glad you brought this to my attention. See, I was going to wait until he’d actually led America for a while before I formed an opinion on how he was doing and going to some other website I’ve already expressed a dislike for to vote in a poll that affects nothing stating as much. This is the President, not Howie Do It. If I left my house to choose him over the other guy, I’ll get no cathartic release from doubting his ability at this point. Or so I thought!

It still greatly amuses me that to some people, the biggest potential Obama worry prior to the election was that he might eat arugula in the White House. He’s just so elite. He’s so elite he’s elitist. He may even be l33t like the tile ghostwriter mentioned above. ”j0 dooDz plz email me fisXal poliCy r0mz.” I wish Obama had been in the 2000 election so that joke would only sort of make no sense and be totally forgotten by now.

Oh, well as long as you’re alright with it.



February 4, 2008
Goopi-D called for help

I don’t think I have many entries like this left in me. That can only lead to improvement.

Maybe you wondered (or more likely never thought about at all) what my problem was in this entry with SIMPSON-ZU, since it actually improves upon the original artwork and was more complicated than the standard art-site character posing against no-background. Because it only does so for the sake of looking artificially japanese. I think the artist may even be Japanese, and I still find the whole thing a bit contrived. It was not an earnest artistic choice, it was just a stupid gimmick. And without that, what is it? Just a bunch of someone else’s characters loafing around looking at a television set. Nothing interesting is happening (I doubt what they’re watching is, either. I can’t think of anything I could or would view with every person I know, so the set is most likely off). All it’s done is swap one ugly commercially mandated “style” for another. My discontent has nothing to do with jealousy this time, surprisingly. Very often I see an insipid example of nothing going on get beloved just because the perpetrator does that all the time and weak people love it and I get mad but that’s as far as it goes. This was more sinister, I felt. Whether or naw the artist set out to have it be so.


A mere fortunate coincidence is that both the pictures were approved by the same master judge, grave accent animator. Why should I be bothered by the opinion of somebody who draws awful large-mouth disney-standard-unquestioning duckface people who otherwise appear totally human? When I hate duck-face-people more than almost all awful animal people? Maybe I just like being bothered. It’s probably not that big of a deal, actually. But I definitely hate duck people. They are ruthless.

Verily, they lack ruth.

But regarding the universally accepted deviation, the proponent of ruthlessness admitted that this was already an overexposed piece of trash by the time it got official acknowledgment, so why’s it even need that? Just because the office said so. It is Simpson Week, after all. And what is that? I didn’t know the fourth week of July 2007 was simpson week, and I was there! Ah, that must have been the week when the Simpson movie was released. Everyone was “going yellow.” Cowards.


It was the same week we saw a googly-eyed burger king and this jaundiced overbiting puffy cheeked round toothed myspace moron, who it’s easy to imagine not enjoying a sandwich, which this whole thing is the inescapable mass-marketed equivelant of. I assume other companies got involved but I won’t go looking for them. By suggesting that it really had no choice in playing along with such a corporate holy week, the Deviant Art makes clear that it has not a skrimpf of integrity, had it ever. The original object of issue might as well be fifty discarded mcdonald’s bags standing around a couch staring at a bottle of coke.

Hey, according to, I’m told, former Coca Cola Company president Donald Keough on the subject of a less successful business stunt I’m not old enough to have been affected by, “The simple fact is that all the time and money and skill poured into consumer research on the new Coca-Cola could not measure or reveal the deep and abiding emotional attachment to original Coca-Cola felt by so many people.” That is a dumb reason to buy soda.


That is also a dumb reason. Doesn’t anybody buy anything because they want it anymore? Oh oh oh and of course the website isn’t cokerewards, it’s mycokerewards, because they think that will make me think I like it. Guess what: I don’t think I like it!

It seems there is no smart reason to buy soda.



Unless you’re Duke Nukem, and you probably aren’t. But I was complaining about a picture of The Simpsons.


It’s not Mona Lisa Simpson on a toilet, but it doesn’t have to be. Whenever you draw these characters, just for the sake of drawing them, you are in a sense also drawing every other tacky picture of them. That’s how it ends up to me, anyway. Maybe it doesn’t matter to you. That’s why you didn’t complain about it on your page. Sometimes I feel like I do everything around here.

I didn’t get a good shot of this because I was afraid someone would see me taking it and think I liked it, but this sums up what the Simpsons are, as purely two-dimensional (note the absence of any logical appearance of depth) images, without scripts to make them funny, without the best animation FOX can buy distracting us from how ugly they are, without Hank Azaria’s 2 or 3 distinct voices making them seem worth staring at the endlessly plopiting mouths of: just another greeping “institution” getting airbrush-painted on a piece of wood at some life-draining tourist dump in Florida, with Elvis Presley, Betty Boop, the perennially dead and talentless Marilyn Monroe, The Beattles dressed as mandarins or something, Snoopy flying a doghouse, ugly jerk-worshiped cars and enormous ghost heads threatening to devour us all. The only reason Mickey Mouse isn’t in it is because the Disney people have a history of suing anyone who puts that on a wall in public. I wish I could sue for that, too. That happened in 1989 and doesn’t seem to have happened since, but this picture is probably almost that old. If this was made today it would definitely have Dale Ernhardt and the Geico skink in it. “This is why not to become an artist,” I thought when I saw this in 2006’s November, long before “Simpson Week.”

On the subject, sort of, why, on The Simpsons, are white people drawn yellow, but brown people are still brown? Couldn’t they be orange?

Ey, why are Simpson Halloween episodes still called tree-houses of horror? Is the tree-house still a major location on the show? I know Bartholomeau was the central character when I first watched it, but he wasn’t by the time I stopped,* and I can’t even recall with certainty that he had a treehouse. I suppose nuclear power plant of horrors or scum-sustaining tavern of horrors or Rolling Stones guest voice contract of horrors would seem redundant.

*unlike apparently every other whinist on the internet, I wasn’t counting to see what season that was. Oops.


There’s nothing else there.

And they think I’ll shorten Saint to St and Petersburg to Pete, but I won’t.
Ha ha huhhhhhhhzzzzzjzjgbjb.



September 16, 2007
While Dinolichen scatters flowers under the guests’ feet, Moritz Stibitz makes use of the mess to eat some cake secretly.



The Dapsy Dino Family. They are one series of collectible figurines out of… too many. They were at one point found inside little plastic eggs which could be purchased in many countries besides this one. And I guess people bought them.


While I pointed out in the past that a certain pair of crocs were most certainly not cool, it is only fair to mention that their honorable ancestor Dribbelino was also not cool. Or at least not as much as any of the

CHiNESE-BEAVER. You may know them better as


les de CHiNEE-CHiN. I must give special recognition to SAM URAI, bridging cultural stereotype boundaries by naming himself after one of the outdated things westerners habitually associate with Japan instead. What we learn here is that it’s not insensitive to depict Asian people as having ridiculous over-bites if you imagine them as animals which look like that anyway. It might also help to choose one that’s known to inhabit parts of Asia, but I may just be misinformed in my belief that these aren’t. For some reason I’m hesitant to investigate any of the results for my “asian beaver” google search. But anyway.


There’s simply no comparison to be made.
As for why Dribbelino is spinning volleyballs, traditionally neither subjects of dribbling nor spinning upon limited surfaces in attempts to impress onlookers, that is yet a mystery.


By the roy, DAPSY DINOS should not be confused with


DROLLY DINOS, who don’t delude themselves into thinking they know how to dress properly.

Huh? Hweh? What’s that? Ah, you are observant.


FANNY FITNESS is indeed connected to an apparatus called LADY SHAKER. I’m glad you noticed.

Getting back to my original point, I think the croc’s problem was that they misrepresented themselves. While throughout time evidence has proven that crocs cannot be cool, they can be CRAZY.

Ever in denial, the CRAZY CROCOS tried to convince me that I’m the crazy one, that it’s somehow my problem, that oh no, that’s just the way things are in the city, for

CITY CROCOS. Sure, pal. Everyone knows CONNY CRAZY is not named LISA RAP. That would be stupid. Obviously I wasn’t having that so I sent them promptly back to

KROKOSCHULE to learn better manners.

I’ve made a couple jokes at the expense of the characters’ names, but no one can touch


CROCOCROK. Why would you want to?


Next week: SQUALIBABA meets a whale on a toilet. Or probably not.



Nobody I know has a website anymore

Mr. Sr. Mxy
Nowhere
Titash
pc72
Pickford
Gilhodes (bah you need a facebook account to see)
video game music database
pacific novelty
Green Lantern Head Trauma

i warned you about this
  • Less recent posts
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • December 2004

  • May 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    February 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    Maypril 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    January 2005
    Novcember 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    Maune 2004
    April 2004
    Febrarch 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003
    Octvember 2003
    Augtember 2003
    Junly 2003
    Maypril 2003
    Febrarch 2003
    Octnovdecjan 20023
    Junulgustember 2002
    Maypril 2002
    This never happened


    old webpages
    Mall Meh...ness
    03-03-2007
    Labyrinthy
    02-22-2007
    Cartoons
    12-10-2006
    Ludicrous
    07-01-2006
    I do not approve.
    06-04-2006
    irrational complaining about my television set
    04-24-2006
    Dennises are dead to me
    04-17-2006
    web-tv
    04-08-2006
    This page is not about shoes.
    03-22-2006
    I hate shoes.
    03-11-2006
    something award related
    03-04-2006
    Bahrg.
    02-26-2006
    Those Green Eyes again
    01-28-2006
    More valid but unfunny Disney criticism
    01-15-2006
    MeSpace
    11-EH-2005
    Biggest Loser
    10-EH-2005
    Mall Blandness
    07-20-2005
    2004 advertisement complaint world championship
    01/05/05
    Belindi
    11/03/04
    Mall Egadness
    09/22/04
    Las Vegas
    07/30/04
    Spiderman 2
    07/20/04
    Jope and Dopes
    06/27/04
    These Green Eyes
    04/24/04
    Friday
    04/01/04
    Wedding
    03/07/04
    Game Over
    03/02/04
    McDenny's
    01/09/04
    Mall orneryness
    01/06/04
    Movies I'm not going to see
    11/14/03
    Back fashion school to
    09/14/03
    Movies Make Me Mad. Moreso.
    06/14/03
    JList
    06/03/03
    France
    03/31/03
    Official pizza of Nascar
    03/16/03
    Browsers
    02/23/03
    Michael Jackson
    2/16/03
    Free Speech
    02/05/03
    Thursday
    01/23/03
    Doofs
    01-whenever-03
    NO
    12/11/02
    Film Critics. I hate them.
    10/15/02
    Coconuts. I hate those as well.
    10/14/02
    Independence Day
    Some time in July 2001
    other things
    Awards this website hasn't won
    mysterious
    The first First Beet segment
    05/28/10
    Embarrassing pictures 1
    09/17/04
    Embarrassing pictures 2
    The same
    Umiliphus (my old derivative megamen sprite comic
    08/15/03
    Hopeless.swf
    11/24/04, (I can only justify this by calling it an experiment, so I shall)
    sandwich.swf
    02/16/05
    FACK
    ??/??/??
    Poetry Page
    The same