23 October 2012
Volcabbage, a controversial figure of the Sham Grimeasty in today’s Republic of Porfbe, had often said, in life “I want to dig a hole and live in it,” but until now details about being dead in one have been scant.
Initially, our excavation crew had been granted permission to investigate the tomb of Roneldo, the famous and influential warlord, but the Porfbeian government withdrew support the day before it was to happen, deciding in the end that Roneldo was too respectable to be violated in this way. They suggested Volcabbage instead. Volcabbage did not enjoy Roneldo’s level of popular support nor leave a lasting impact on anyone’s customs or ideology but nonetheless had a large and eccentric grave site. Our team of archaeologists was not terribly interested, but as they had come all that way they figured they might as well. We were unprepared for what we found. Primarily because we were prepared to find something else.
Volcabbage was a court eunuch who usurped power from the beloved monarch Gorko by changing the palace locks when Gorko went out to buy a pumpkin. Gorko, despondent with shame, went into exile and never returned, even though Volcabbage ended up getting tossed out of the palace and also exiled later that evening, having neglected to win the favor of the staff in charge of the windows. As it happens, Gorko did not maintain a stock of concubines so it is unclear why eunuchs specifically were employed on the premises.
Volcabbage was only emperor for several hours but somehow had time to order this massive tomb be built. It is speculated the tomb had been designed far in advance; possibly up to a week and a half, and Volcabbage stole power primarily to demand its construction. As the workers were busy on the construction they were not notified that Volcabbage had been ousted until they finished the job. Some of the non-structural artifacts are believed to have been contributed from Volcabbage’s personal extratombal property.
What an ugly diagram! We had best look at it more closely.
1: Entrance to tomb. (1a) top floor may have been rented out to other deceased to cover some of the costs
2: Inner passage to lower level. (2a) Escalator: Volcabbage was indecisive. If the afterlife proved unsatisfactory, the deceased may have wished to return, in which event a comfortable exit from the tomb was desirable. Similarly, if being reminded of this world once more helped to put things into their proper perspective, the spiral slide (2b) would provide a quick and simple re-entry.
3: Vehicle storage zone. classical decadent tombs often contained stables, so this was seen as an appropriate analogy. (3a) Helicopter chair: keeping in mind the idea of “if you can create a physical, visual approximation it will work in the afterlife,” this was designed to simplify transportation, as Volcabbage was not a licensed driver. (3b) Chariot: in Porfbeian society a license was not required to operate one of these. (3c) Hovercraft, because there was space for one.
4: Houses for servants. most of volcabbage’s employees were little imps. Some of them are more affluent than the other imps and it is speculated the wealthiest had their own little tombs containing even tinier servants
5: Banquet chamber. (5a) banquet table: Volcabbage rarely enjoyed company. It is uncertain if this meant to represent a pathetic hope for more human contact or to give unwanted guests a space to deal with their own business in while Volcabbage worked elsewhere, possibly at (6b). (5b) Terra cotta figure of Pog, the Inedible, on a large serving dish. Pog reminds us of an ancient Chinese story of a tree which grew old through being so useless that nobody saw any reason to chop it down. Pog, in contrast, was useless and lacking in flavor merely by chance, and no predators dared attempt to consume it. Volcabbage developed odd culinary tastes, it is said, as a means of encouraging visitors to purchase their own food, particularly guests of roommates. (5c) tiny table for tiny servants to hold banquets at.
6: Bed enclosure. Reduced scale, compared to banquet chamber. Much clutter that seems to be of little consequence. (6a) Bed said to be remote-operable, but as its optimum operation requires it lie dormant this is of dubious significance. (6b) miserable, tiny desk. Not ergonomically suited to any task we can think of.
7: “pig room.” Potentially the most peculiar section. It requires special attention and so it is illustrated and discussed in greater detail later in this document.
Though this is Volcabbage’s tomb, is not known whose body was actually buried within; considering Volcabbage’s known wish to not be buried. The most common theory is that it is actually the body of Rygar, a trusted court official. A more fringe suggestion is that the original body of volcabbage was dismembered and fed to partisans of Roneldo in anticipation of a bowtie-clad imp statue being placed inside the tomb. Overcome by food poisoning or a simple curse, their lives were thenceforth inconvenient and they were buried here afterward, for they contained the tomb’s owner, who they resented and decided to spite with their posthumous placement. In another oddity, however, no bodies were found. All that turned up were skeletons, the infamous restless undead warriors. The excavators thankfully found it unnecessary to battle the skeletons to gain their respect before entering. They are not currently a threat to visitors. However, a pine cone was discovered on the premises so it is advisable to be cautious.
7a Toilet paper: Volcabbage endured allergies regularly (possibly from overconsumption of foods like 7h pizza) and found “roll” the most effective method for the dispensation of allergy relieving paper material. This roll is very large and its user would never fear tearing off an amount inadequate to contain nasal excretion flow out of a desire to conserve the material. However, it is also far too large to be portable. We wonder why Volcabbage did not propose a representation for an allergy cure to go in the chamber.
7b Nemitz: Large ceramic figure of semi-divine entity of Mupelzorian religion. Porfbe is said to be named from one of Nemitz’s quotations. Unlikely to be an effective guard. Perhaps volcabbage just found it funny to look at. Its attire suggests butler-like duties, but again it may simply be to appear ridiculous. A similar statue called an “Elpse” (7c) was looted shortly after the excavation began. Nemitz was evidently less desirable.
7d dopes: Large-eared smiling creature with similar demeanor to nemitz. Volcabbage repeatedly claimed in life to despise these “dopes,” and yet the tomb is filled with them; one for each of the six columns and a rotating gold dope (7e) in the center. The other dopes are plastic. Hopefully the servant imps were not as foolish as dopes.
7f Bowtie imp: unlike the dopes, there is no imperial record alluding to the existence of a jade bowtie imp and it is not in the plan. It has been speculated that this was placed into the tomb by a rival, possibly Roneldo, to be a source of annoyance in the afterlife
7g Ducks. No ducks found.
7h Pizza. Volcabbage was an avowed believer in the importance of a balanced diet, low in saturated fat and cholesterol. The pizza represents people not having pizza anymore because it’s in this tomb and thus people will have no choice but to eat more healthy foods. Or perhaps Volcabbage just really liked pizza.
7i A bottle. Surely this represents a drink of some sort to go with the pizza. That seemed bland so elaborate handles were added to the sides. However, much like the large toilet paper roll, this must have made the bottle impractical for placing into a coat pocket.
7j The large pig, at last, represents a fondness for pigs. The pointless monarch once said of pigs “they look funny if they are sculpted and displayed.” Volcabbage must have thought a very large pig would be very funny. A strange person, Volcabbage.
Subsequent grimeasties looked upon Volcabbage with disgust. With a mind for cultural preservation the tomb was left where it was, but highways and utility poles were built nearby. Several chambers remain unexplored, including one that appeared to represent an elegant tiled single-occupancy bathroom, but it is doubtful that Volcabbage bathed and in any event we were getting tired and decided to go home.
page 57 of this.
imagine I generate this for ten more years. Will something happen or will it just be a matter of getting from one unpleasant service interaction to another? How long can i show nemitz being annoyed at elpse being annoyed at lope before it becomes implausible for them to be together?
Unfortunately elpse is only too plausible to me. I constantly resent people who really have no hope of ever not annoying me. people like me who really should not. Elpse does not represent me nor does the lizard represent anyone else, though. They are only their own brightly colored punchable selves.
“close-up” frames save a bit of time but I keep feeling like i am missing opportunities to show background silliness that are best to do in frames where nothing is happening in the foreground – the reason it is possible to be close up.
The last few pages I used no real ink on because that took a long time. Not to do, just to think about, because I am so terrified of mistakes, and then the backgrounds always held me up, whereas if I only used computer lines I could figure the setting out as I went along. But I bought a huge bottle of ink about two years ago, during a period when I was inexplicably confident in my ability to use it, when I also had no time to use it, that I now need to justify the purchase of. I felt like the characters looked more interesting with the real ink, also. Do they? Assuming you have been following along, you probably didn’t even notice that I had stopped! (unless I said so, but that would also mean you read my accompanying dull ramblement) Still, in an attempt to sort all that out, I this time put ink over just the characters and stopped once it started to get annoying, and imagined I would erase the pencil lines underneath just that ink and fill in less important matters later. So it happened that at the scan phase this nemitz was just a head and an indistinct, not-quite matched torso, and it looked like a barely mobile, segment-operated boss foe from a super nintendo game. That took longer to say than it was worth.
I refrain from commenting on the justifiability of this.
An older picture I recently altered to make prints of for a pumpkin-themed event
See if you can guess which table is mine
(hint: it is the one with the lamest merchandise that the least number of people are looking it)
I sold nothing, but I sold nothing at higher prices than I had ever sold nothing at before. Partially at the urging of the venue owner, and partially because for all my stabs at integrity it means nothing once I can blame something that feels like a lapse on someone else. It also means I now must keep that price consistent or else the people I showed the high price to will get angry when they see something less than that. Or they would if any had paid it.
Anyway, in addition to some free iced tea they were nice enough to let me have the featured artist space for January, (though the decision came prior to my recent performance) and I will have pictures on walls inside the restaurant, which will not have interaction with me as a condition to owning one. The scenario also is feasible that somebody may buy a picture just to get it OFF the wall so that food may be consumed more peacefully. I am intrigued to discover how I will mess this up.
This was an improvement on my last event, where there were mystery boxes dumped directly in front of my table which visitors used for sitting on while facing away from me and eventually for standing facing toward when all the boxes were taken. I would rather fail because of what I did than have nobody know I did anything. When that happens my goal becomes to make people know what I did, and I might not consider that I did something pathetic. After this week I feel like I have taken another step toward my ultimate goal of giving up. After all these months of distractions and setbacks it is nice to be making progress again.
Additionally, you may have become aware of the three for the moment unsightly link “buttons” now at the top of the main bimshwel page. If you had not then now you have, in a sense. One attempts to connect to whatever this is.
In the past i have given out “business” cards to people at events like these, but nothing ever comes of it because if anyone entered the website URL mentioned on the card, instead of art details they would see instead endless rambling about supermarkets and dumb things people do on the internet (such as write about it). Now they can find pictures, if they wait a few seconds for those awful “buttons” to load, and then they can see the pictures and think “yep, that’s the stuff I didn’t buy prints of today sold by that awkward weirdo who kept saying ‘hello’ out of forced habit but had no natural social inclinations beyond that. Gosh that was upsetting. Why did I take this card?”
I intend to make the awful buttons less awful, but I also intend to go running once in a while and eat pizza less often.
Ideally, the gallery’s rather default-looking setup is only temporary. Even so, it is rather nice for something free, I think. And unlike other free galleries, when something does not work it is not done deliberately as a ruse to try and sell me non-free version. It might be unethical for me to use something free as a means to make a profit, but I have not actually considered any way to use this for that purpose. I imagine I could send art-work through the mail. My imagination usually gets me into trouble.
Here is what my ridiculous imps would look like if I had business sense. More gimmicky, impossible to tell who drew them, and seemingly ripped off of other commercial properties. Is this an official spinoff of trolls or little ponies or care bears or an unrelated venture trying to chase the same buckwagon? People only relate to things that I do not relate to. They want to buy things that remind them of other things they have been ordered to buy. I would never buy one, and thus I am ill-equipped to make something that a buyer of these would buy.
Of course this display was gone the next time I came into the store and I have never encountered the name “zelfs” since nor had I prior to then (and I must be clear that I do not desire to), but that can also be desirable. If your soulless, derivative, cynical grab at money fails, you want everyone to have forgotten it by the time you make your next attempt at reminding people of stuff that worked. You might notice that is the opposite of my personal feeling, where I prefer to be remembered and to not remind anyone of anyone else. If I saw something that reminded me of me and it made money I would get mad, because then I would need to change me to seem like I wasn’t copying me.
It is common, on the art websites I use, for a participant to become infuriated at “art theft,” in which somebody tries to sell another person’s pictures and collect money for it. I don’t even matter enough for anyone to bother. I would probably doubt that if I heard it happened. If it was TRUE and it worked I would consider trying to take the perpetrator on as a business partner (an unbiased observer might advise that person to turn me down). The closest I came to “art theft” was when I taped a huge pencil drawing to a wall beside a door at the university while I went to retrieve some other things, and it fell off, and somebody picked it up and walked off with it because it looked like abandoned garbage rather than a legitimate finished project that the artist was trying to take home. When the person was persuaded by police intervention to give it back I almost felt bad. I felt like I had ruined several people’s days (not including mine). I wanted to thank the unidentified taker for wanting it. The party which I retrieved it from offered no comment on the quality. I might have let the person keep it but I had not scanned it yet and I needed to bring it back at the end of the semester for a grade anyhow (rubbish generally gets a better grade than nothing at all). Currently it is on a shelf smaller than itself behind me with other things stacked on it and probably no longer in displayable or theftworthy condition.
I expect I have alluded to this before, but may have never properly addressed it: Cracklin’ Oat Bran.
This box design has not been in use for some while, but provocateurs still attmpt to push the agenda by distributing empty boxes through trusted commerce channels like ebay and dumpsters that have not been cleared out in 15 years. The decision was made to remove cereal from the box not because it would be inedible a decade and a half in the future, but to reduce the weight for shipping, with the expectation that buyers could reclaim the exciting breakfast experience if they wished by eating the box.
“More, please.”
This is supposed to be a cereal for adults. Get your own dang cracklin oat bran. And for heap’s beep there is a G at the end of “crackling.” The first meal of the day and you are already slacklin’ off in multiple unrelated ways.
“More, please” is no request. It is a demand. The “please” is totally disingenuous. You are liable to be banished from this cruel Victorian workhouse with that sort of entitled attitude!
And that strawberry slice is a work of fiction; I have eaten fruit with cereal before (you are surprised at my adventurous tendencies, no doubt), and the distribution never works like that. Only with cautious planning is there enough fruit for there to still be any when the cereal runs out, and my boss here was not even smart enough to take a promotional photograph of a product with the product actually in it. I think this cracklin hobo has actually not had any cereal yet; there would be more crumbs than that, and plenty of unsightly white goop residue. If this were authentic I would not be able to look at the bowl to make such an analysis. But the bum didn’t even pour it out the first time. I could understand demanding more if you had painfully exerted yourself to fill the bowl, and that was your accomplishment for the day, and you now qualified for assistance. Trying to trick me by cracklin’ a few oat branuloids into an empty bowl and cutting one strawberry into half is disgraceful. You think I do not use my oat brain? You think I am using my raisin brain today? I am not such a tragic case!
Well there you go. You should never have gone. Another home wrecked by raisin brain. Could someone you tolerate have a raisin brain addiction? I am disgusted that you put up with that!
[don’t] ask nemitz a question on crumbumblr!
That is right, you can request basic life information from a creature that does not exist via a system that canonically that creature should have no clue about the actual existence of but that I regularly express contempt for.
Sound stupid? Well it is also egotistical and boring! I get to pretend people really care that hard, and they get to watch me act like I think this is perfectly normal and that I am entitled to it. But lots of people do it so it must be a very functional form of stupid. In fact I am going to use this as an opportunity to show nemitz for the vain and insufferable monster that it is.
There you have [nem]it[z]. I hope this has been deformative.
page 3 of this we are up to! After all these years, FINALLY at page 3!
The future of the automated comic display system is currently being evaluated then, and thus I have not done it yet.
This page SEEMS useless, but it re-establishes for this “chapter” that lope is a nuisance, and that elpse is a nuisance, that the hat does not like, and solves the problem of my re-establishing that elpse hates robots on the previous page without sending the story off in a more interesting direction than I had planned before i thought to put the robots there. The robots had solved the problem of elpse being about to murder lope for having hit nemitz with the car earlier than that. And this re-establishes that nemitz and elpse forgive each other for their mutual nuisancical qualities (even though I have personally advised elpse against this forgiveness).
For the first time in a while I made up the colors instead of pulling them out of previous pages. It seems to have been an improvement, though the previous pages now appear very dull by comparison. And of course these will be re-dulled when they are printed, so it is probably better to keep doing it the other way even if that looks worse on a computer screen. But we both know that I am contractually obligated to find the most complicated, inconsistent and unintuitive way of doing all tasks.
In other news, the dumb lizard is so pathetic, sometimes it doesn’t even have a mouth, and just has a nose. This thing is incredibly fortunate I need two months to get out a new page. It has no idea how many dumb things it is not doing due to me being held up. And neither do I! Stupid things just HAPPEN when I put it on a page.
Why don’t you just shut up, nemitz. nobody has any interest in ANYthing you have to say. you might as well NOT TALK. Have you forgotten what I threatened to throw at you four years ago? Or have you remembered and here thrown my throw threat back at me? Neither of those is excusable.
Somebody who cannot read or does not understand english might look at this comic strip and think nemitz is saying something, when it IS NOT. 100% or more of what nemitz says is RUBBISH. Why do we, as a nation, put up with nemitz? I have had enough. Good NIGHT. Unless you are a brightly colored imp, in which event I wish you a very BAD night. You are so frustrating, I was distracted and inverted my capitalization scheme.
I will have an update on Sunday or my name is not Dwobo Stupwutch. And my name is not Dwobo Stupwutch, but if I fail to display an update that will still be the case.
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Page 4 of part 3 of thistle. I keep telling myself when I get a break I will sort out the automated comic system I spent days installing months ago, but I used the break making this new page instead.
The last few times the production got stretched across a lengthy period and I developed a hoard of stupid notes about it that I had to figure out for the website posting. If I did that this time I cannot find any, lucky for you! However, as before, I am concerned about the frequency with which the lizard has been appearing without a mouth lately. I intended to show a picture of it without a mouth here and then looked closer and realized it had a mouth in every pertinent frame, and contradicting me is even worse! I had to waste another minute erasing its mouth in the picture I just showed. Typical pitiful lizard move. Additionally:
I will normally not stick up for dumb imps, but how DARE nemitz talk to elpse that way? How can it live with mitself? Notice how its ears went up just for that remark, like it is prouder of itself than usual. nemitz how would you feel if i said to you “scrobbly doodly nemitz?” Why don’t you think about that awhile. If you have a reason why you don’t I have a reason why I don’t want to hear it!
I wish we could all agree to stop acknowledging nemitz, and just pretend it was not there. Perhaps with time it will choose to not be!
Slaughter Balloons
I first hinted at the idea back in 2008 for a greeting card design. However, nobody wants to be greeted by dumb old nemitz (the orange, incorangeable imp). The card I made still ultimately had a nemitz in it but that does not mean anybody wanted it there.
The only major thing I changed was putting the balloons in a bucket, but I decided on that rather late! It was suggested to me that due to the uncommon environment it was not clear what the balloons were. It must have been so jarringly unclear that the commenter neglected to say “and also, please shove that dumb mitz off the cliff edge back there.
There also was an issue in which I kept making the house in the background crummier but it still seemed too fancy for nemitz. But you know, an emptied fish barrel is too fancy for nemitz. A laundry basket is too fancy for nemitz. A non-emptied fish barrel is too fancy for nemitz and violates the civil rights of fish. I just had to accept that and move on.
american where-dope in paris
I would be glad nemitz is lost, but if I am lost too then that increases my risk of meeting nemitz.
Based on a sketch I did in Paris in 2013 a few days into my trip. I thought the picture would go somewhere when I added color, but it didn’t, really! It is not the worst thing to happen to Paris this week, though. And now my tablet is useless — I wrote an explanation of how it became useless, but thought I should make my post about the Paris murders before I did anything so self-serving, if I was going to post it at all, because I am obsessed with what imaginary people think of me, even though I specifically resolved not to be, and then that took too long, but I felt obligated to say that I wrote something, even if I cannot show it, so I could allow myself to post something that makes it seem like I am willfully ignorant, even though I actually meant to have it uploaded two weeks ago– so I will need to put it away for a while.
One more wretched nemitz. I cleaned up the central portion with mouse toiling, but otherwise this is what my quackom intuos3 tablet does now. It drops big blobs and does not stop. All I can do is direct the flow. It has some mild decorative use but is not helpful, generally. Which is fitting for nemitz, but if you think this picture is not too bad, I should tell you this was an inadvertent result of a device out of control.
When I tried to make a nemitz on purpose this was as far as I could proceed before giving up.
The problem was with the pen. I found that if I told this to people other than myself they would insist it must be a driver issue. I knew it was strictly physical since it could turn on and off in rapid succession, possibly sensitive to air temperature, and was a problem I could not fix by altering software settings, and ought to have been content that my decision to replace the device was justified, even if no one I talked to understood, since it was ultimately only relevant to me anyhow. I instead wrote numerous lengthy replies to anyone who dared talk to me trying to assure them that it was NOT a driver issue, addressing all their points, giving it far too much thought, seeming angry and insane and wearing myself out. Each person would then interpret my reply as a plea for alternate solutions, which required more lengthy replies, trying to address a problem, that I seem to be in a desperate panic, lashing out at everyone who tries to help me, that is totally removed from the original problem of a machine not working properly that I do not actually desire help diagnosing the problem with, since I have already determined it and how I will address it, and should not have mentioned to begin with. I bought the unit used for $175, and I suppose it just about paid for itself, so I broke
In addition to the pen issue, the power cable began to not supply energy unless positioned ever so precisely, hence the tape holding it in place in the picture I showed before I wrote an endless irrelevant summary of my adventures in endless irrelevant summaries.
My computer drawings were exclusively mouse done for 15 years, and when I finally bought a graphic tablet in June 2011 I disliked it immensely and did not use it for almost a year. I had not been actively pursuing the idea of getting one, so I only did by chance, and was content to not use it when I had it.
My recollection is that I drew this with it immediately but it is dated May 2012. What is important is that the first and last things I drew with the tablet were both nemitz and both terrible. Even they look bothered this times. Ordinarily nemitzes thrive on being awful. Wacom may be an anti-nemitic organization.
WHO and nemitz??! This sentence is destined to be slander against me, and it was wise to remain incomplete.
If nemitz fans want to hear from ME, all that shall be audible is my disappointment in them for being nemitz fans. Honestly, how does this concern me in the slightest?
That is better! Unfortunately this seems to be another nemitz with less grabbable ears. It most certainly appears in silhouette due to be being embarrassed at lacking fans/ears. Or perhaps it locked the door and this is a keyhole. It is revolutionary that a nemitz feels shame or humility, and maybe there is hope for it, but on the other mitt, no nemitz has the right to try and prevent me from going someplace! Know this: I go where I like and do as I please! Nemitz I ORDER you to open that door so I can be annoyed at how stupid you look!
And it can ROT in jail! Just because I ordered it to open the door does not obligate me to go through the door! Nemitz is not my mother and I refuse to take orders from it or feel guilty for not visiting it. And how dare you address me with an informal greeting!
How about I start kicking nemitz? What is this, is nemitz a remote-controlled ice cream scoop camera? is nemitz a terrible “indy” video game that homages old games and brings absolutely nothing new or interesting to the mix? Is nemitz potato salad? Is nemitz a loose confederation of aimless nerds that nonetheless inspire devotion from nerds with even more aimless lives because they are nerds out of perceived trendiness, even though that is in fact the opposite of being a nerd, pursuing a personal passion at the possible expense of social status, and throwing money at dumb ideas is just what they think nerds are supposed to do, money of which half will be blown manufacturing irrelevant trinkets to thank me for donating and the rest never accounted for?
Wait, that is not right. Usually nemitz is happy at the end and I am upset! In fact there has not been a single smiling nemitz in this entire post! How infuriating! Whose fault is this?
wretch!
This was made a few years ago for a powerpoint-ish presentation I gave on the topic of animation , specifically cost-reducing measures, on this slide. However, since it was not an animation class, nobody noticed my special details and I lost points in the end for going over the allotted time. I blame nemitz (these are both nemitz). I also object to how floppity the ears are on the second one but for the moment I am refusing to acknowledge them.
After what I said yesterday, I considered that maybe I really have been on the wrong track. Maybe I need to, for the first time, really step back and evaluate what I am doing. Stop redrawing, start rethinking. Make a real plan, and start over. Do something that I can really engage people with, and stop being so silly and hard to understand. With that in mind I unveil a bimshwel.com exclusive, a sneak peak at the poster for the deluxe crowd-sourced reboot. Backers who donate $15 or more will get their own limited edition print signed by the entire cast except pog. Backers who donate $30 or more will get pog (they will have to share)
a potential design for new potential business cards. Alas, I know nothing of business, and my card attempts reflect that. I subconsciously channeled this ancient, totally unusable design:
Both are way too busy but they are at least honest. If I delivered a simple, efficient, graphic designy card it would be a lie because that is not the sort of product I produce. I was hoping the old card design would be conspicuously less legible by comparison to the new one when reduced, but alas they are about the same! I never used it as a card, but I did expand it vertically to use as a sign at some event about which there is little positive to say. [email protected] is the same email address I had then; anything @bimshwel.com gets forwarded to me but I have difficulty deciding on what placebo [email protected] to give myself.
This one is from 2011, long enough ago that I thought inkbunny would ultimately be something I could admit to having an account on, and was willing to put money behind promoting my use of. If you are unfamiliar with Inkbunny, good. All you need to know is that it does not allow Toothcup.
That it does not allow Toothcup, capital T, that is actually one of the things it has going for it, and that many of the people you will deal with wish that were not the case. If you do not know what toothcup is, good. All you need to know is less than I already told you.
These days I will not put any of them on my card, which is in fact the very reason I chose horrible “names” like “queg” and “skrimpf” to begin with: so that nobody could connect them to my legal horrible name. I chose queg so nobody would know I had a deviantart account, and then I chose skrimpf so nobody would know queg was using furfaninity. I chose frubaklop because I had lost control of my life and figured there was no sense in hiding anymore.
For a brief, notorious period, and it must have been brief because it looks as if even at the time I was uncertain whether I should keep the website names vague so as to avoid outing myself all needless-like, I thought I was comfortable, and I cursed myself for choosing names nobody would ever look for me at, and now I am grateful again. This is my place and these are my people so I should not deny it, I seem to have thought. Those are not my places. I mention them here specifically because I thought it would be sufficient to stop using those names and websites to make people stop identifying me with them, which was not the case so I will say it here: please do not ever call me skrimpf, unless you are deliberately trying to irritate me, which is a valid pursuit, but better you do it on purpose than by mistake. I do have http://bimshwel.deviantart.com/ , which queg forwards to, but “DA” is still fundamentally a fanart porn site, like the other two, that I will always be marginalized on [for not drawing or appreciating fanart porn], and I prefer to be marginalized on my own terms. However, such websites are a bit more social than my heap, here, so I keep on with the one I am least embarrassed about overall.
At this point in the original manuscript I digressed into several paragraphs on identity and denial that were beside the point and tone, and were keeping me from finishing this, even though I only came to post the one picture! They have been removed for now. Indeed I am as messed up inside up as my card is outside. Why pretend? Why try and trick somebody into hiring me based on something that is uncharacteristic of what I can deliver?
Because otherwise I will not be hired! The first cards I actually had printed were very sparse, since that was, is the only way I could have control of the situation.
Control, such as with my broken, spring-based mechanical heating control panel, which these cards were useful for regulating the strength of during our six months of winter. I discussed a key design aspect in more detail here, but the blank space after “and” was so I could write something different on each card, such as “intrepid tortellini,” “raisin toads,” or “no dopes,” because I am not satisfied unless I make a hassle out of everything. The foremost one here says “you know what, you deserve it.” I can say that because you are here now, and therefore on some level you do.
Step Bother
A surprising number of my picture ideas seem to involve stairs.
Why does nemitz look at ME at the end? Why does it try and put responsibility on me for mitz mitztakes? I am half-convinced nemitz did this on purpose to try and get sympathy out of me. Know this: none is forthcoming! I have a good mind to kick nemitz out of the house, but its willful incompetence has deprived me of the right.
page 7 of part 3 of this questionable comicoid.
I like that the lizard’s nose is a different shape in every frame. At this point the comic primarily exists for me to laugh at that creature.
The last frame probably has too many actions for one frame but i think the order is apparent eventually.
I decided somebody should actually hold the shopping bag by its handles once before it passes from relevance, to justify drawing them all this time. I would like you to think I deliberately avoided using them as some subtle commentary on how dumb these imps are but I do not think that far ahead.
Inconsistencies between here and the last time I showed this apartment are merely my own lack of effort and not deliberate evidence of in-story subterfuge.