excuse me sir, I think you mean

ARRGHF I was kidding!

I never in my life heard somebody say this but whoever translated Arc the Lad Collection, reportedly Victor Ireland and C. Sue Shambaugh, but probably mostly Victor Ireland on the actual localization, seem to have heard it constantly.

I tried imagining how this might apply to my life in a comic strip (via the pathetic snake) but it does not seem quite right, which is rather just about right for one of these.

october 11 addendork: this music arose in my music playing list while I was operating an automobile today and it struck me as suspiciously tut-tutty.

another addendoy: I wanted to replace this before next week but it doesn’t look like I did.
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an addendoy: I suppose this does not make a whole loaf of sense; why free orange sketches, and why would non-orange be a problem? That is probably why I am still making comic strips also for free.
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not necessarily a regular occurrence, but I made the comic strip so here it is.
I do not even remember HOW to log in to the section of the website where I had started posting these, so this one is not there yet, much less the ones that should come between this one and the most recent other one that I did post. However, I intend to remember!

Ah! I did. I added four more, including one that I missed before. Somehow this this is a harder job than it seems like it ought to be and so is yet incomplete! I also need to determine which number in the styles.css is causing those ludicrously large numbers at the right side of the page which I was unable to do even before I forgot how to log in. The world has many mysteries.

an unusually hued nemitz wants to show you this pine cone mit found but you don’t have to look at it

Plus a few differently rendered variants, just to be extra annoying. The fool seems unaware that the pine cone escaped amitz this.
or that is what i said on my instant grampage.
it was in fact drawn different ways in an attempt to explain, more coherently than in the past, to people who want to buy drawings from me, what styles I can draw them in. However nobody has asked for one since then, which leads me to suspect that people have interpreted that as me only being able to draw nemitz, and not even consistently. TYPICAL nemitz skulduggery. I also didn’t mention it on my instant gram page because my mother sees that page and whenever I mention selling dumb drawings within her range she wants to help by telling me about Jobs, most recently sending me a link to a dubious advertisement for free instant high paying Jobs testing software that are actually just introductory seminars that try to sell you access to more seminars. Nobody who does buy drawings from me comes from instagram anyway. I don’t know WHERE they come from, quite honestly. Canada, maybe. I always complain about doing them anyway, and I have other things to do! It isn’t surprising I don’t have more customers. I am uncertain to what degree that is deliberate self-sabotage. nemitz however is conspicuously, consistently blameable, which I would thank mit for were that good rather than a deferment of bad. argf now I am conflicted again! About whether it being nemitz’ fault rather than mine is good! I can’t believe nemitz would wage psychological warfare against me! And yet it is so awful that I feel like I ought to believe it, so I am conflicted about that as well! But that does not contribute to my well-being at all! I should shove nemitz into a well. But then there would still be five nemitzes left, so I would have to shove them into different wells to ensure that the well remained unobstructed and that they did not pile up in such a way that the top most mitz could escape and seek a means of rescuing the others. I really do not deserve problems like this.

page 63 of part 3 of this
you will believe i still cannot draw the lopemobile without looking at my own references from over ten years ago
ALSO I neglected to check that the title tag on the previous page 62 “This is one frame too many with nemitz in it” showed up properly and failed to notice that it didn’t due to a repetition of 61’s :”I hate this page because the bowtie meep does not get beaten up during it.” As the bow tie meep does not get beaten up on either page it is very possible to believe that this duplication was deliberate. In the future I will strive to have the bowtie meep get beaten up on every page so no such confusion can occur.

i ALSO failed to notice that the “comic strips” link at the top of the page did not work, making that one tab out of six with any reason to be there. The url WAS valid before all the security certificate shenanigans of the past few years. It should work now although I still have yet to upload the other pathetic snake comic strips from where I stopped with them during the initial announcement that I had made a page for them in 2022. Thankfully this is not pathetic enough to have an additional comic strip made about it and added to the badcklog.

no thank you

this generation’s mascot scientists face a complex issue: how can they improve upon the previous generations’ creepifying efforts? Every benign forgettable character from the 1950s that hasn’t been excized has already been over airbrushed and 3d rendered and sapped of all remotely organic elements. What possibly remains to be done that can make them worse? the keebler company, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Kellogg company, decided to have the creepler elf give up its long standing sideways glance in favor of a horrifying straight ahead stare.

here, at the same store, in a picture taken AFTER the previous two, is a vintage keebler elf on the a shelf for damaged products, ironic considering the psychological damage its descendant inflicts. Perhaps they had a fight for leadership of the tribe, this one lost and was banished. Or exported as the labeling suggests.

captain crunch, a long time veteran of my posts fixating on the packaging of products I do not buy, doesn’t look quite 3d rendered but mysteriously rather like an attempt at a two dimensional drawing OF a 3d rendered captain. the question here: is the box on the right the previous design or the aftermath of people seeing the box on the left and filing complaints?
another possibility: the left side character is actually a different Captain. Consider that he needs to order himself to crunchatize himself even though all crunch scholars know that “he” has done that already. However, the management saw

“oops! All Mega Berries” and finally realized the previous Captain Crunch had been all these years filling boxes with his personal berries (and donuts) on purpose while trying to pass it off as production errors. but as is too often the case, the corruption goes all the way to the top. Or to slightly below admiral, anyhow. The yellow box does not even bother to say “oops!” I never accepted the oops but its absence shows that the captain believes he is entitled to all berries, and his hubris level has become uncontainable. On that note, he ran out of cereal containers, and had to put the berries into little pouches instead. What would have been next? “oops one berry in a thimble” ? That Captain had to GO. Perhaps the previous elf has also been replaced for the same reason.

Now I have to go as well

oh beans

Worst Selling Video Games volume 8

featuring fantastic items that I didn’t think were good enough for previous entries, such as

dinette set willy

peter crack habit

dynamite dukakis

Baldur’s gated community

the winding of a clock

wing orderer

blister mister

resident emu

alex kidd in rehab

deadly howards

wild armpits

dino dini’s teeny dinosaur diner

ultima quest of the salad bar

chester cheetah too mutilated to be recognizable

mavis beacon lettuce and tomato

shining the holyoke massachussetts

the hypertension heist

Snoop Punky Skunk

kid incarcerated

battle of a limpet

rub-a-dub-dub-terrania

pirates of duck water

metal ear

god of chores

red dead loaf of bread

beyond ore ida

renegatorade

befrienders of the crown

knights of the clown

Cheerios of the Lance

backgammon arkham asylum

Huggy Bear and the Ho Gang Bang Antonio Fargas is Missing Mario Vargas Llosa’s Time Machine One Maywether and his Floyd pie by the sorbet kirby’s well-trimmed yard pizza tower can’tra wobble wagon

part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
part 6
part 7 wasn’t that long ago!

page 62 of part 3 of this
drawing the cyborg and its vehicle are always difficult because years always pass between each time I do it. I do not have a plan to draw it again, but my improvisations are often superior to my plans. This page largely lacks improvisations, alas!

these are for animated door objects.

the effect is decent enough that I want to stand in front of them opening them repeatedly fortunately despite them appearing on flat lines and having no depth, unlike regular doom or hexen doors that have visible moving edges.
the fourth one is relatively serious because I have a lot of vestigial level content to work with from when I had more straightforward yet still unreachable “doom mod”-type goals which I do not want to totally jettison, and it requires at least one functioning vague technical junk themed door.

for now all four close by simply playing the opening frames in reverse but I have the power to have them close differently, as might be called for with a zipper since generally those are pulled both open and closed. Though there is no hand pulling the zipper and I do NOT at present have the power to make there be one without having the existence of that hand becoming my singular focus.

As I mentioned, unlike regular up-rising doom doors, these do not, cannot have depth within the game geometry, so the effect here can break down if the moving elements are too block like. Also unlike normal doom doors, since these aren’t part of the original game programming, they have no means of checking for if objects might obstruct them from closing, so they simply close regardless of circumstances, and so I need to make the door-close script ALSO force objects away from them, which includes the player, so it is not POSSIBLE to stand close to one and analyze how flat it looks unless you are specifically setting out to do that, and I would not aim to deprive you of your right to do that, but casually you will not be forced to notice. i CAN have the invisible force-emitting object cause damage or have those who are shoved out of the way damage each other but I choose not to at this time. They PROBABLY deserve it but I won’t assume that they always will.
On that note, the game rise of the triad has a more developed type of animated door which will shred dead bodies which happen to collapse partway between them. But for every neat feature rise of the triad has there are three practical features that it lacks so I am not concerned about that.

i have a list of traits that mark something as “a doom mod” and not a separate production which uses the doom engine.
*doors that open by rising upward
*firearms
*monsters that stand in place and throw single fireballs
*low numbers of animation frames

of course blocky architecture, vertical doors, dumb monsters that take a lot of damage but are easy to outmaneuver and fun stuff to blast them with are qualities that I LIKE and find comforting about doom, so I remain at odds with myself about how much I want to avoid. Even the low animation frames I have found are fun to repurpose for different actions via decades on manipulation, like having the baronknights “laugh” by rapidly cycling between their pain frame and fourth walk frame after throwing off complex strings of fireballs

It looks incredibly stupid. It makes ME laugh that they laugh at me so stupidly.
as can be observed in pof.wad that I put together at some points to use with other people’s levels. Mostly for 1994 era levels from old shovelware CDs that I never finished but thought I might because I like the unrestrained, reality-disconnected attitudes people sometimes made levels with back then.

like what the heck is this? (93talio.wad by Tom Talionis) This is awful. I love it. But the limited bestiary/behaviors can become monotonous. Maybe if I just reveled in that aspect of the game and moved on with my life otherwise I would be further along in it.

but golly beets the exit is RIGHT there! There can’t be much further to go.

I tried to play Treasure of the Rudra no Hihou back in 2006 and didn’t find it very interesting, but now watching youtubes of other people playing it I am overcome with a strong interest in acquiring and eating apple crisp
a lot of stuff about the game doesn’t make sense and I don’t know what senselessness is due to the original Japanese game’s script and what is due to the english translation being unofficially translated from another unofficial FRENCH translation of the Japanese.

I do know that the only rudra to not have attempted to exterminate a race is the one wearing a klan hood.

you say that the same way you’d say “my dad owns an electric weed trimmer.”

that old thing? I sold it at a tag sale a few years ago

I am not sure what to make of these sicko lizards who carry around boots formed from the skin of their own slaughtered ilk that they don’t even wear.
This game tries to talk big about harmony among the “races,” but in the end decides “eh humans are actually the best race.” I don’t have the energy to find more screenshots to prove that and worry I will want to change that dumb video again –I already remembered today how funny it looks when the heroes turn around casually walk away from battle when told to flee– and I don’t want to make a third post about dumb old rudra: the home game. But the important matter is that lizards are scum.

any lizard that is agreeable is an exception and they are still “lizard”s and not people.

one of the most powerful monster attacks is to fire a beam made of flying lizards with scythes out of your nose

All the hero characters have ostentatious multi-piece sprite movements whenever you tell them to do things, including a breakdancing mermaid and two temporary characters that only stick around for about ten minutes and an hour respectively, except the one lizard present for 90% of scenario 3 who has roughly animated single-piece sprites. Even the outwardly evil lizards have smoother animation. I don’t have a gif of those because I do not tolerate evil deeds on my web page. This minimally animated lizard enters into the plot by stealing the ONLY “revive herb” left in the world to try and revive an evil lizard rudra that will destroy everything except for lizards, but then gets stuck in a plant on the way to the rudra’s roost.

pardon me, wrong roots. I don’t know how this came up when I was talking about a race story.

What a loser! When that evil lizard gets revived anyway it’s pretty much the wimpiest rudra story-wise and it simply blinks out of existence without any last words or threats that it isn’t actually dead and will be back.

And characters in this game are often uncertain themselves whether things that disappear in front of them have perished or simply gone somewhere else.
Abilijer is also a rudra. It is actually easier to beat than the lizard but it turns to stone instead of vanishing, and needs to be refought again later. The second time it at least talks trash, and THEN disappears, and this dork Legin who wears a pink jester hat at all times and has seen 4000 monsters before this one, including the reptile rudra, be erased from existence in a manner that defies the Conservation of Mass physics law only at this point thinks it strange. Which isn’t the lizard’s fault but I would think more highly of it were that the case.

goodness gracious I don’t even LIKE this game and look at how much they made me talk about it!

the best of treasure of the rudra no hihou

I felt like the update I was writing needed a brief video at the end but it ended up becoming slightly longer so maybe I will post them separately since plainly I am incapable of handling one update per week in these days. Though possibly the lengthening of this video has confounded what I found funny about what it initially focused on.
sometimes that’s the risk you take when you deny a rudra its hihou.

here is an annoying hanging imp
it drops down and hits

this pig so it turns and stops yelling “herrow” at and pushing back the player, since unlike this video from February that area actually has other constructions in it now that prevent the pig from merely being ignored.

the imp is summoned by this problematic lever.
if the lever is used enough times the imp will get yelled at by the pig and then appear again beside the lever to hit that instead, which then afterward renders itself unusable.
the lever is behind the hammock imp,

who must be attacked with a strawberry.

the strawberry comes out of a vending machine which for the time being can be directly activated by the player. It only has one frame but I use internal manipulation to make it jump up slightly when attacked and then shake after landing since for now i am not forcing my self to animate it. I didn’t even finish drawing it, really; the large strawberry on the upper right is pasted over directly from the hand animation above it here.
But still that is five separate animated objects all for this single dumb little task. The lever at least can be reused to activate other situations and the pigs can decorations elsewhere, but I really do not manage time well. There may be more evidence of that fact in the immediate digital vicinity.

the hammock imp can officially be offended by a strawberry in real time. implementing this as usual took more effort than it should have, but also as usual it involved doing something for the first time that I expect will be easier on subsequent uses of the same technique, which as usual probably will not be.

the gif version has a shadow. the one in the screenshot doesn’t because I only just added it and it still looks awkward. But it looks worse without one. Wolfenstein 3d (and blake stone) sprites had shadows drawn on the ground but conventional doom engine never did, since they can leave the ground and in the 1993 code there was no way for an object to check if it was on the ground. And also perhaps the only way to ensure the shadow was never lighter than the ground was to have it always be full black, which looks cartoony. Never mind the bright red blood or weird saturated blues in the palette. But cartoony works for what I am doing, at least to a degree.

there is a way to automatically generate duke-nukem 3d style shadows behind objects but that looks bad with anything meant to appear attached to the ceiling or that might possibly appear near an edge, as the shadow will always display in full even if it runs out of level ground

the snapping motion is for if the player attempts to attack it with something other than a strawberry, which for the moment flings the player backward into the air (surreptitiously using four wah blasts fired at once) without inflicting damage. HOWEVER, this view change makes clear that despite the shadow issue the object still isn’t REALLY attached to the ceiling! If I make the ceiling lower, the top of the sprite gets visually cut off from the ground view which prevents you from seeing the creature escape through the ceiling when it does and also that I applied a minor palette conversion to make sure the trap door is the same color as the ceiling!

see?! you almost can’t! see it! which means it might as well not be there at all! aye yike so much to do

also this is my first time running the game since upgrading my RAM from 16 to 32 gigglebytes back in may. Now the game only slows down approximately exactly as much as before

page 61 of part 3 of this
WELL that is not quite two weeks but still several days longer than one week. now i need to do more gzdoom nonsense for a few weeks and then maybe I will see how the beet is doing.

the NEXT page should be available before july 19 ends, but I also thought that about July 15, which is why I didn’t say anything.
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page 60 of this

possibly you will be disappointed but it was necessary. I can change the specifics at a later point (as I apparently have done with the scenery in this room numerous times), and to a degree before the next page. somebody I last saw 11 years ago and who no longer exists in any form I am aware of told me never to show this but

that person later also sternly reprimanded me over tumblr for my complaining about excessive quantities of unremarkable nearly identical fanart units and built a shrine to a team fortress 2 character in its home and so I generally do not regard its opinions highly

the “original” design for this character, when identified internally as “pico de gallo,” before I decided on traits that will not be evident until the next page, called for it to have a single eye stalk. However now that Gidjmerg exists and also has a single eye, even stalkless that makes them seem more related than they are. It was also rather bulky but it looks too jabba the hutly the way I tried and decided against here. apart from any of that I don’t want to add more characters that are hard for me to draw, however infrequently they will be seen.
this character didn’t necessarily exist in the old comic strip that kumquat’s ancestor and pog came from, but I also remember drawing it holding a doom chaingun back when I thought that was a “cool” thing to draw. Almost as much as holding a wine glass, even though I had no desire to drink wine and 20 or more years later I still haven’t.

I also drew proto-kaklabesk holding a wine glass, in one of the very few surviving fragments from my earliest doom edits, which is perhaps why I ended up putting its weaponry in the same category. I couldn’t find the chaingun drawing in this sketch book, but I did find numerous pictures of

proto-lope physically assaulting nemitz which hopefully is all the information you need about how my thinking has changed since then. I can’t say nemitz doesn’t deserve it but lope simply isn’t that dangerous.

to follow on the topic of southern us commercialism = southern us culture, in Atlanta Georgia immediately adjacent to the ostensibly educational Georgia Aquarium is the “World of Coca Cola,” whose singular goal is to advertise a non-health-contributing beverage at you, one that is sold at literally every vendor in the city, if not the state, and you need to PAY to get in!

I did not go there, but since I went to the aquarium I was near enough to it to see that the price of admission does not get you any complementary product to consume either.

and also a rather incongruous mix of attractions. I wonder if this is a legally mandated community service sort of thing since the drink was invented by John Pemberton, a confederate colonel/snake oil merchant/eye surgeon who owned slaves.

It makes me wonder if the Coca Cola company ever experimented with putting cans of coke into archive footage of revdr Martin Luther Kingjr and Rosa Parks like they did with Fred Astaire and Groucho Marx.

ALSO my angle isn’t: don’t drink coke, it was invented by a slave owner (though “don’t drink coke, it’s liquid candy” is valid); every company that old was started by a slave owner. If pepsi was a decade or so older it would also have been. Slavery is woven into the textile of american history, if not white history as a whole, and human history as a wholer, to paraphrase the hokey sort of person who wants to pretend slavery didn’t happen or benefit them. BUT I can imagine the contemporary owners of the company considering that an image-related problem for them and wanting to make sure they have a defense prepared that they can point at when the topic comes up.

But EARLIER in June I needed to visit a hard wares store. While operating an automobile even. Rather a change from the earlier days of this website. My life has changed but my opinions haven’t. My cousins once insisted that when I was older I would appreciate the Beatles and Bob Dylan also. I don’t, I merely encounter more songs that are worse than theirs. While momentarily stopped at a traffic intersection near the store, I overheard bits of a hokey country-sounding song playing from a neighboring motorist’s vehicle. I thought that was odd, and so was quite surprised when I arrived at the store and the SAME song was playing from the local sound system. The song’s lyrics concerned how “we all have a hill billy bone down deep inside,” essentially trying to say we are all dumb southerners who enjoy songs like this ultimately. Somehow it was released in 2009 and I was never prior aware of its existence. My gripe, though, is it isn’t a hillbilly song. there is no fiddle, no banjo, no jug or washboard. It has electric guitars and studio production. No hillbilly music is getting played on a radio station in Madison Connecticut, if anywhere.

The singers, apparently there are two, aren’t hillbillies either. They are red necks. Hillbillies do stuff for a reason or out of necessity, rednecks just affect the imagery they see from celebrities and/or politicians. If you observe a hillbilly wearing a cowboy hat, chances are that’s just the only kind of hat available, or maybe you’ve even witnessed an actual cowboy. Rednecks vote for Trump, hillbillies don’t trust city folk, if they’re even registered to vote, if they even know an election is happening. Dumb rednecks are dumb by choice because somehow or another that is a status symbol, dumb hillbillies are dumb because their schools are under-funded, if they even have schools. Rednecks collect guns and pose with them on instagram, Hillbillies know that you know they have guns and don’t need to advertise it, and as long as you stay off their land it won’t become an issue. Assuming they still have land and corporations supported by rednecks haven’t cheated them out of it. Rednecks swear they aren’t racist, especially the racist ones. Hillbillies, again, don’t care who thinks they are racist. Rednecks hate queers. Hillbillies think rednecks are queers.

In fact, it isn’t even a redneck song. it sounds more like Black Cat by Janet Jackson in 1990 than anything country or Appalachian. Supposedly Black Cat is “Jackson’s first solo writing credit.” Do you know who wrote the Hillybilly boney song? Two totally different people that aren’t the ones singing it.

it’s about the phoniest garbage I have heard of since a tv commercial advertising “honky tonk badonkadonk,” which I looked up for this post today and BOTH songs are sung by Trace Adkins, who has never had a solo writing credit. Though this apparently was written by a different group of boneheads who sell songs to other boneheads than the song about bones.

pardon me, “bro-heads.” Thankfully I didn’t know about this terminology i 2005, else I might have requested my immediate execution rather than a pardon. The only group phonier and jerkier and more addicted to following orders from unaccountable imbeciles than rednecks are bros.

I don’t get this at all. You don’t want black people in your neighborhoods, your public offices or your precious advertising but you will appropriate vernacular like “badunkadunk” from their dumbest recording artists. Is that just to make it so lame that they don’t want it either? Black rappers stopped saying “bling” so fast that I can’t tell if the scheme worked or if the originators realized it was lame before that happened.

and the “previous single” is called Arlington. Possibly the most deliberately depressing place in the united states, Arlington National Cemetery, and again written by other people, even though the album is titled “songs about me.” Trace Atkins is not buried in Arlington Nat’l Cemetery, and he never will be unless he gets crushed by a meteorite whose path sent it through the fence while he was being chaffeured past the place. Though as I mentioned in a title tag above this I was surprised to learn that Adkins has in fact been fired upon by an enemy combatant and hit, but the aggressor was his second of four wives.
He only has a song that mentions it because redneck is a quasi-relgious identity, where you subjugate women and drink international conglomerate brand beer (provided it isn’t endorsed by anyone gay or trans) and crow about how “rebellious” you are then suddenly are serious and solemn worshiping [the concept of] The Troops on designated federal holidays while picking fights with anyone who isn’t. The only reason we still HAVE troops in 2023 is because bullies and idiots who obey bullies won’t stop picking fights over really stupid issues.
What a phony pandering sack of empty nonsense this goobert is.

he has had seventeen studio albums full of songs about the same three topics, all written by other people, and he wants me to believe he wrote a book? About how free-thinking he is? He’s literally named after copying someone else’s work. I CHECKED, he is credited as a co-writer on ten songs, total, in twenty five years, which admittedly is more than I was expecting, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he did more than make a suggestion, and only the first was released as a single. Since it wasn’t a hit single I guess his writing privileges were revoked. Which is more about the machinations of The Music Industry as a whole than redneckery specifically, but as noted that is inextricable from corporate directives. Nobody is less rebellious than people who need you to know they are rebels.
Even compared to his hill billy co-boning co-singer Blake Shelton Adkins is depressing. Shelton has 16 co-writing credits in 12 albums and even a single solo credit in twenty zero years, and has actually been photographed not wearing a cowboy hat. Unfortunately now I know hard trivia about both of them and may even be able to discern them from each other.

but there are always worse things to know.