A strange vision from my child-era that returns too often, in the Police Academy cartoon series, which existed, at one point the weapon-enthusiast Tackle Berry participates in a typical mishap and gets a toilet plunger stuck over his mouth, preventing him from explaining the incident
n the next scene he was alone in a dungeon, just wearing underwear, possibly the only time he ever appears sunglassless, with a dorky smile, talking to a rat, and there the vision ends. I had NO CLUE then why imprisonment and your clothing confiscated was appropriate punishment for getting a plunger stuck on your mouth, and I still don’t, but it left in me a lingering fear of irrationally humiliating punitive measures
And I FOUND the episode, and the moment I remembered, but only dubbed into Ukrainian! So I can SEE what happens but not grasp the context, though I may possibly prefer this to the original audio otherwise.
It seems as if the evil special guest police-academite’s master plan is to shoot Tackle-BARRRY, as he pronounces it, with a plunger-launcher, and the good terrible cops arrive to try to prevent it from happening, and once it does happen they give up attempting to help, as if not having a plunger on his face was Barry’s only claim to freedom.
It does reveal that Tackleberry is offscreen placed into a cage on a pickup truck, after being plungered, but still has the plunger while in the cage, plus handcuffs, outside the bars, which meant he was in the cage and no longer a threat before he was cuffed, and therefore probably wasn’t a threat to begin with, and isn’t wearing a police uniform, so there isn’t official regalia to strip him of before sending him to prison
possibly to hell, if this frightful pointy-edged dog-nosed micro demonspawn is any indication, and therefore there is NO reason for his clothes to be off. It makes even LESS sense than my memory! As this video was uploaded in January 2020, I am surprised Vladimir Putin didn’t cite Ukrainian possession of bio-suction based armaments that incapacitate peace-keeping forces, remove their clothes and eventually cast them into the realm of eternal torment when justifying the Russian invasion this year.
The more I review and think about the footage the more it looks like Tackleberry is imprisoned, potentially damned, exclusively because of the plunger. Or worse, because his comrades couldn’t pull the plunger off his mouth. I don’t know why that’s a crime but it isn’t even his fault! Meepwhile nobody is shown escorting him off the roof or putting him in the cage, and the ones who failed to remove the plunger just watch him get driven away in the truck cage. I am left to think they caged Berry themselves after realizing they couldn’t remove the plunger and risked similar measures for continued defiance. But once Berry is in the dungeon with his unholy familiar the plunger is gone and he seems much more content. Maybe it is an enchanted plunger that cannot be removed unless your clothes come off with it. I am really not getting the closure I wanted on this.
Additionally, mostly unrelated, I can see in the little preview, and am un-inclined to view full size, BIG dollar-sign-symbol cash sacks but in at least one shot the animators casually mirrored one. It isn’t a photography error, like the cels were wrong-side-up, or a region-specific matter, like DiC inverting shots of school bus doors in Sailor Moon, since the other $ is normal. It just means the key animators at the east Asian animation studio that would have done most of the work on a show like this weren’t familiar enough with dollar signs to see when one was flagrantly incorrect, and the grunt animators who had to draw all the individual frames and color them in weren’t paid enough to point out a problem like that in the event any of them noticed. In fact the employees who change the signs at the New Haven Connecticut Popeyes and Walgreens can’t even be trusted to put the dollar sign up forwards 100% of the time. It just is not a priority for a lot of people.
I can’t find/am afraid to find photographic evidence, but here is a 2013 dairy queen sign with a backwards N. Not only that, the Ks are upside-down. I can’t believe I don’t have friends with my superhuman powers of fault-finding.
according to my file names , this is the other side of the sign, with the same backwards N! And YOU might say this is more than likely the same side of the sign, so I shall point out that the B is ALSO upside down, but only on ONE side!
ha ha HA! Ha, ha ha HA, ha HA ha, hee ho heh.
Getting back to the main digression, I do not believe the surprise backwards S front and center on a television screen is what traumatized me into fearing the shape and being wary of non-backwards S-es with certain types of curvature and thickness, else that would be what I remember.
It was often hard to track specifics of thin moving shapes like that on blurry cathode ray screens, at least for me, which is why I never noticed the one Whirlwind carries around when running to the right and THROWS at the heroes as a weapon in Captain America and the Avengers even though I played that game every time I saw it, and that was released three years after the Police Academy cartoon supposedly started airing, and hopefully also after it had stopped airing. In fact I never noticed until today that Whirwind isn’t even really carrying the bag so much as having it glued to one of his fists. The backwards bags in the cartoon were bigger but I probably didn’t have cable at the time and potentially saw it with staticy signal distortion over it. This is important.
some things are more important, though.
most definitely you will need to click-enlarge this picture for the text to be legible, in the event you seem that desirable.
I am uncertain if this expresses the precise sentiment that I intend it to but surely it expresses something.
internet art sorts several steps up the social fire-escape from myself seem to try and use art-fight just to get fan-tributes to themselves that they have no intention of “revenge”ing upon and I also have a problem with that but it can’t effectively go in the same comic strip by someone who writes as many words as I do.
less than stellar music with no video
because I spent so much time endlessly optimizing and getting stuck redrawing bits that I previously didn’t realize were terribly drawn of the sprites that struggled to show up in the less than stellar video with no music that I posted last week, in a sadly desperate attempt to make them load faster because I am in that far too deep to re-do them all [again] but slightly smaller, that this is the only moderately interesting thing I have done since then that isn’t just something I already did.
I still write complaints, but mostly in scraps on twitter that I don’t have the presence of mind to reformulate into paragraphs. I really don’t know WHY I do it there because it puts off people who just want to look at my drawings, and they greatly exceed the number who have any interest at all in me as a human being with thoughts. But I also might resent that as if I am entitled to have an audience and so continue to dump thoughts out of spite.
but this here is an example of the sort of “tunes” that come to me now: mostly fragments of several notes that only just barely form a cohesive structure. The reason I couldn’t get along with people who praise the music for zelda 64, when I recognized it to be mostly dumb little 3-to-8 note ditties stuck together, when it had music at all. Thankfully I do not require anybody else to replicate those 3-to-8 notes and then hear them additional times in order to progress, and constantly. This sticking-together here in its present form comes to about 40 seconds, followed by the actual voice recording that I made the morning of June 30 to give myself a sense of what the tune sounded like for a hypothetical point in the future when I might feel compelled and also have time to run the composition software, which turned out to be the same day AND it doesn’t sound like anything at all, but I committed to it anyway since I put the notes on the grid one bit at a time and so was partway in before realizing it didn’t work. As always.
I have yet to listen to a majority of those voice recordings, of which there are HUNDREDS, and I worry that a majority of them are also like this. Because the tunes come to me while I am sleeping or attempting to, and then I attempt to replicate them with the dumb mobile that I keep in my bed before I forget, but my partially asleep mind does not always realize what music sounds like, or remember it even long to imitate it. and that is evidently important enough to me to risk a shortened life expectancy due to radiation poisonining from keeping a tiny computer that never turns off several feet from my brain for however many hours, and then only a few feet further away every remaining hour. AND sometimes hearing the noise come out from my mouth causes the notes I just heard to overwrite the ones after it that I theretofore had only imagined, making it impossible to complete accurately anyway.
this is a common occurrence. These are just the ones where I spelled “forgot” close enough to correctly that it showed up on a search for “forg”; I lack adequate control of the dumb phone keyboard to spell words properly consistently and until this point when I am searching them for a specific letter combination I had no incentive to take the extra effort to sort that out. Keep in mind that quite often my intention is to go back to sleep or go into it to begin with so I do not want to be forcing a more alert state.
finally this thing gets what it deserves
it hardly seems to justify four extra days, but now these things can lose their hats, pick up their hats, explode with or without the hats, and make slightly fewer maximum decibel noises that I recorded in 2002 or stole from something else. in fact the new sounds may even be TOO quiet. in parts where I turned down the video volume to make the old ones bearable, the new ones are inaudible. particularly the TERRIBLE old sound effects for the player taking damage are still active. after the first section I quickly replaced them but the damage has been done!
these will spray out collectible candy pieces once I get around to that. The little colored dots that fall out of their bodies are supposed to be candy. It ends up not looking any less gruesome than blood and organs but this wouldn’t be an official bimshwel production were there not copious amounts of effort put into something that doesn’t really make a difference.
I still need to find a proper bell to sample since the little circular bells and christmas ornaments that I have don’t sound like the bells on display here and are hardly audible unless i initiate a heavy impact that ends up registering as more plastic than bell-like. I also haven’t seen them since before I moved my desk and bed a few weeks ago so for the moment additional recording attempts are not possible.
the animation state the corresponds with dropping the hat I realize does not work. the creature throws its head back which looks good from the side, but 80% of the time it would appear from the front. even if I set the hat to get flung upwards, that would be beyond the view of any player close enough to connect with a slap attack. whupth. I put in a temporary weapon object that could inflict hat-removing damage from a distance, but then the dork was even less likely to walk back and grab its hat since there wasn’t a player obstructing its movement and forcing it to turn around. I have a very silly life.
another problem: when I record video it gets REALLY slow, and it stutters each session while loading graphics anyway. getting these idiots to walk toward their hats and retrieve the hats while on camera is also frustratingly elusive.
they are also supposed to drop their hats 100% of the time when slapped but sometimes they just do nothing or drop two hats without losing one. even the idiot stuck in a wall that can’t take any actions but to walk in place and make noise manages to maintain control over its hat when I want it not to.
additionally, only the morons with santa claus hats currently toss all the correct objects when they agree to toss anything –the green short imp wearing red near the end magically transforms into a taller imp when it explodes– because because because because because because but now that I have proof that one works that means that the others can also be made to work eventually. Tossing the objects is crucial because if everything is in one sprite the body ends up looking about 4 times as wide as its collision box and that is not good.
and they ARE morons; even when positioned properly they aren’t smart enough to actually take the hats so the hats need to GIVE themselves back.
note that for example purposes I am mostly pressing a button that instantly deals maximum damage to foes in order to provoke their explodo animations rather than using a weapon which does that since I still have yet to implement an implement of mass destruction, other than the tossable pog, but using that while recording video makes it struggle even more, and pog generally isn’t out to cause trouble deliberately.
thursday june twenty third: a prolonged serious of miscalculations means that an intended wednesday update can happen friday at the earliest
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a mantis person for goldquiver
a shiny lizardoid for mallac721
a cowboy wizard lizard or something person for derse. the arms look very strange to me now even though I only drew this two or three days ago.
a paint-loving coati-sort for austin dern
these are getting out of control and non-sketchy already!
and a gremlin a person identified as woot master
this also got a bit complicated, but I like gremlins.
I mean that I like some of the typical visual characteristics of gremlins, but I do not like having my airplanes sabotaged with buckets full of dope juice
I have not given people the choice of suggesting difficult to draw content or that additional characters are fundamental to the picture being acceptable, but the bigger problem is always that I will take it upon myself to complicate matters.
I did it free “sketch” give-aways twice before, and both times before long I started putting far more effort into the pieces than I had initially intended to. I took steps to prevent that this time. My steps were erroneous but I didn’t agree to draw for nearly as many people; only ten or eleven so far rather than 100-112. I still lost count but it is a loss much more easily covered.
I really should be making comic strips or beet cartoons, which is potentially why the urge to initiate this sort of offer keeps arising, so my best hope is to let it rise and then flatten it as soon as possible.
I saw these both in the same store on the same day last month, and must say I am concerned about multiple talking fish encouraging me to get hooked, an event that is often, eventually, fatal for them.
look at this, I couldn’t find any REGULAR-sized hooks down at the local pirate supply store. Where is the public outcry like there was for mcdonalds? It just isn’t safe to get snagged on this.
less so on this. these people are encouraging ADDICTION. While bible dealers encourage bible addiction, crack dealers also encourage crack addiction, and nobody ever brought a loaded tommy gun to a swap meet because they thought other people didn’t believe in crack enough. say what you will about illegal drug merchants, but they only kill their own customers and competition. If one of them started a lobbying firm or got into the supreme court the only thing they would try and make illegal is other dealers’ drugs.
it isn’t supposed to, it is a joke.
that’s the whole point, it is absurd. I am saying something absurd to highlight a common non-“absurdity” that I think ultimately is just as bad.
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
but you’re also obsessively trying to win conversations that don’t matter so your victory is trash
I suppose you can take smugger satisfaction in knowing that nobody can be as annoying as the ones I make up; the real person was doing it for months and you only just started!
it isn’t as depressing to be annoyed by fake people and I can also control when they stop talking
it isn’t! but it evidently it is preferable.
I would be thankful the character is not a fish, but I am not thankful for whatever Gustav Klimt-style horror it is.
the hat and the “gun” get launched as separate objects that land vertically and so I can give my self to excuse to only draw them from one side. This gif is actually from april, but I neflected to mark that post as “motional” when I went looking at first and just assumed it wasn’t here, but it is. Anyway I have by now inserted all the sprite pieces from this one into the “game” and know that so far they work.
this one is from today. Evidently I exported these gifs in a different manner, but I assure you inside the “game” they match. Or at least the non-falling versions I already put in match each other so far. This shows the alternate version of the upper imp because i decided they shouldn’t fall down the same way, even though that defeats a large swarth of the point of having this be an alternate version of the same thing rather than a totally new creature. but hopefully this is the last animation I do of this setup from multiple angles. Just too gosh darn many parts. Even something as simple as providing the sweatshirt? as an alternate for the scarf means I need to be conscious of what small area is covered by the scarf that suddenly isn’t covered and might need to be filled in long after I thought I was done. And then even more gets uncovered when I try to export the separate parts as separate parts, which I then feel compelled to correct, even if there is no need to correct it since it will never be seen by anyone else, since *I* will still see it. oh bo fo. I thought it would go quickly since this fall doesn’t turn and I wasn’t making alternate legs or heads for it, this whole fall sequence being an alternate. Though knowing me I still might. Though I often think I will do things that I won’t, as I rarely know me as well as I assume I do.
I don’t show the other hat or the scarf in the second gif since the scarf and the shirt use the same palette range and would possibly have layer priority conflicts so that one might be behind the other inconsistently, and both hats occupy the same coordinates, at least in aseprite. after I export all the parts and import them into the gzdoom data heap, I can put as many hats as I want into any part of any sprite. Why would I want more than one? Why would I ask infinite numbers of hypothetical questions? I don’t know me, so I can’t tell you.
Hm hm hm this is the first time I compared the two fall types and suddenly realize that I will in fact need to make an alternate gun landing mode since despite both being vertical, the second is “facing” up rather than down. whupth. Guns really never stop causing problems.
the first three frames can also be played repeatedly to make the creature appear confused or amidst a very stupid dance. some other monsters can already be knocked over temporarily if hit a certain way, maybe this can be an equivalent situation. Or just a stupid dance.
Howdy I added more words beneath this. It has many links. You should ignore them, they are just there so I know that I know what I am talking about.
a picture I am prepared to provide context for, and possibly improve, time permitting, but time was only just barely permitting me to make the picture as it is.
oh jolly good here it is.
in 2004 i wrote a spiteful web page about the old even then Apogee computer game cosmo’s cosmic adventure despite taking enough of a liking to the game to complete the full thing, a feat i only managed with one other apogee game (arctic adventure). I thought it was obvious that I actually did like the game based on the amount of screenshots I took and my meticulously title-taggging every single one of them, but it wasn’t and I rather annoyed more people than I entertained with the page, I fear, and after my fashion amitz that period was not very pleasant about it. I entertained myself plenty, fortunately. I totally forgot some of the strange junk I made for and following that.
I wouldn’t put forward such effort to abuse a character I hated. The original appearance of this is somewhere in November 2005 and only makes slightly less sense outside of that.
In case it also wasn’t obvious from some odd bits on the page like the side border, I DID in fact find the full version for free at that time and had played through some of it, but must not have reached the ending since it is frustratingly daft. I do feel bad about calling $10 for the game “laughable,” it really isn’t that much money and i enjoyed the game plenty more than some sandwiches i paid more than $10 for on more than one occasion. After starting on this drawing I finally went ahead and did pay for the game just to feel less like a creep, ALTHOUGH the price NOW is only $6 and i don’t even know if Apogee actually gets a cut of it at this point since they are selling it through Steam and Gog and have casually placed some deviant-art person’s labored, if somewhat out of character illustration as the listing page’s header without credit, but not altered the page text at all in the 18 years since I last looked, if ever, thus retaining the moronic line “who has an overbite like Bart Simpson?” like they don’t care, like they ever did. anyway now i just have 300 video games and 3000 soundtracks to pay for and my conscience is clean. if i ever actually played it again i would probably still use the setup from 2004 that i already have, though.
BUT THE IMPETUS for all this was me recently having occasion to view somebody yet else’s videos of playing through the game and was reminded of a truly iconic and strange moment from video game history, in which cosmo saves duke nuk[e]m from certain death and only receives a hamburger and a plug for Duke’s then-upcoming sequel in return after hoping for help from duke’s substantial firepower and longer life bar collection. (I also mentioned that on my own 2004 web page but I only re-checked the page after watching the video)
the hamburger IS one of only two items in each episode that increases the amount of green health Now-and-Laters from 3 to 4 to 5 and does make a big difference in the context of the game, but Duke starts with 8!
the original duke nukUm did not wear sunglasses and for whatever reason in the cosmo cameo has a blue shirt after wearing a pink one in the first game, but my skills are limited in such a way that this just looks like a weird George Takei if i omit the sunglasses. in fact even the present official release of 1994 Duke Nukem 2 has been altered so every picture and sprite of Duke has sunglasses, because otherwise it looks like nobody specific.
Jet-packs don’t work the way I have drawn this, but I couldn’t find a picture of how Duke’s works, since in the game you don’t see it since you are supposed to BE Duke, and when I tried to use a moderately “realistic” jet pack here it looked worse than this, if you can believe it,
and besides that I couldn’t fathom somebody being able to run around and effectively fire large guns while equipped with one.
yes I spent a substantially longer period drawing and trying different things with the secondary character here than anything else.
have you noticed that the things i think about and spend the most time on are almost always the least relevant? have i asked you that before?
a great deal of junk has been affixed to my refrigerator by other parties, and I rarely pay close attention to it. As someone who uses the appliance to store food and also eats food periodically, I am more concerned with its interior regions. However recently however by chance I happened to more closely examine a bit of the out-side and was rather disturbed
I don’t understand why I have to put up with this nonsense in my own house.
the magnet for “clinton little league” and also some boat club were still on the refrigerator from its previous owners when we moved into this house. The punchable cat mermaid was not. These things seem to follow me around. I can’t stand it. It looks like it should be wearing a bowtie. no! no, it shouldn’t. never-mind. i didn’t mean that. PLEASE…
oh fiddle deef deef I fell for it again.
a vaguely sketch-like commission for a human called gingle of a frustrating imp called elpse
I was requested to have it mirror the pose of this this similarly insufferable imbecile called nemitz from 2015, and so it does.
also this website’s twentieth birthday was two days ago. That is not important. What is important is that it has existed for more than half my life. My life is not important if all i have to show for it is a website which also is not! However I also have elpse and nemitz, lope and dopes. Consequently my life is an unforgivable travesty.
a commission drawing for a person called Kynikos dragon, whom I drew a picture for previously but evidently never bothered to post here so that is how it goes. But this time in any case it features an unreal degree of foolish impudence, because the scene is ostensibly based on a screen capture from a video game called “unreal,” hence my titling it “unrealenting dopiness” on art-focused websites that I use and that also demand titles. People probably just think that I spelled “unrelenting” incorrectly. Or maybe do not even realize that I used an unorthodox assemblage of letters. My website content may overall be getting dumber and more hurried, no thankage to dopes (they contribute to dumbness but I would never thank dopes), however my spelling is not!
this might be a tad exaggerated. I worry that I ruin these sort of editorial “comic strips” sometimes by trying to have them make sense so this is fairly similar to the initial concept, but there are other ways I can also ruin them.
time-lapsed trashterpiece of indecision.
i presume this feature was not made with my sort of thing in mind since it can space the video to 15 seconds, 30 seconds, 60 seconds and “all,” which in my case comes out to
18 minutes and 4 seconds, and it is more like when I no longer felt capable of continuing than “finished.”
I cheated this video to some degree since I went and made yet more changes after exporting the first 60 second lapsoid, then exported a second lapsoid, rather than replacing the first (though the second was replaced numerous times), so it has an additional twelve seconds of changes, but at an even faster speed since the second video still contains the entire contents of the first lapsoid, just condensed even further, and then I set those twelve seconds to play after the first sixty seconds. then I had to adjust the length of the music, formerly almost exactly one minute long, to fit that, and from the sound of things I perhaps should not have, because you can’t just add a few seconds to an existing composition and have it sound like it belongs there unless it is proportional to the length of music that is already there or make it seem like it is going to be and then fade it out, and I hate fadeouts, so I did something else that is awkward and perhaps similar to what happened with the drawing itself after the first 60 seconds. Doing all of that, then explaining that I did all of that isn’t important except to emphasize that I am seriously mentally ill. And that isn’t even important to do since you already knew that. But I am no dope. Dopes thrive on what is wrong with them. I do not thrive on what is wrong with dopes, I merely attempt to present it honestly.
4-28-2022 340am: a very stupid week. the video is ready-ish but the website post attempting to justify it isn’t and thursday is going to be as messy as it is thurs.
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looks like a good day to stay inside
as is generally the case with these, you may click at it to attempt to load a larger version if you are into that sort of thing.
I made this with a mode in the clip stupido paint program that remembers every single stroke I took which allows it to create a time-lapse video of the construction. Unfortunately this feels very watery in the wrong places and rather incomplete, but I am not capable of making it more complete at the moment, so I wouldn’t want to exhibit such a video for any other purpose than to show the bizarre non-linear way these things come about. Nonetheless I shall, but I haven’t yet!
yet another of these.
It took longer to make than was justifiable, and i will definitely avoid spinny motions for anything I want to give extra angles to in the future, or draw over this one, ideally. Or so I reckon right this moment.
The hat and the green thing will be launched as separate objects on the second or third frame and for now I imagine i can get away with not full-rotating them, but the green thing may be too tall like that. We shall see. Or I shall see.
I ought to make another comic page before doing more. Failing that I will periodically acknowledge that I have not made any comic pages in a while.